Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?

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  • spearfox
    spearfox Posts: 276 Member
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    If you do try to leave, be verrrrrrry careful. He may threaten suicide or he may threaten to harm you or someone you love. Do not fall for the manipulation, but do tell someone in authority. These types of guys will tell you they can't live without you.....until you decide you can live without them, then the tears turn to revenge.

    This much "passion" has a dark side.

    ^^^^^^^
    This
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    No! Some from your list are acceptable, but not after only a few months.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    In general I would've hated that. And would be gone in a second if any of those things happened lol. However with my partner who i've been with quite a few years now we have always been like that, especially at the beginning, and I like it. So I think before that it was just that it wasn't the right person.
    However, if you are feeling suffocated then you have every right to sort the problem out, whether by leaving, or talking to him about things you don't like etc, doesn't matter who else thinks its ok or not its your relationship.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    I had one of those but then she also had pet names: shnooky shnookums, cuddle bunny, muffin, sweetie, smoochie, pookie...oh my freekin gawd was that annoying!

    Sorry I'd run. Don't worry about what breaking up would do, worry about yourself and your happiness.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    Nope, couldn't handle what you describe.
  • Shellitz
    Shellitz Posts: 188
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    As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



    I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

    Yeah. Run.

    YES ^this. My ex used to just drive past my house all the time. And continue to 'drop in' at my dad's house after we broke up. Just visiting he'd say. My dad ended up giving him his marching orders - read: punched him in the face, because he just wouldn't go away. Police could do nothing because he hadn't 'technically' threatened me - so...thanks Dad!

    Interestingly I found out he now lives around the block from me. Luckily I am moving in a couple of months!!!!
  • DameVenus
    DameVenus Posts: 70
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    Eh, I guess most people wouldn't enjoy that constantly and I can understand you needing your space and feeling suffocated but honestly, besides a few things on that list, that sounds pretty romantic to me lol. I'm probably just silly though.
  • brooklynsfinestballerina
    brooklynsfinestballerina Posts: 136
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    Ohhhh my gosh. That's awful. Get away before you're in too deep!
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
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    run for the hills!!! :indifferent:
    shows insecurity on both parties
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    I used to end every phone call with I love you, and used to say it every night before I went to bed, or when ever me or my wife were leaving. I guess it got old because my wife said it had lost it's meaning so i stopped. I try not to say it often because I know that it annoyed her that I said it so much. sadly I'm the cuddly clingy type but I understand that my wife is not so I try to leave her alone more when were together. it's helped and she gets more cuddly now that I have laid off.

    With that being said, try and find a way to let him know with out it turning into a fight. if he's nuts that it'll be a fight every time and in that case you better get the hell out of there!
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I used to end every phone call with I love you, and used to say it every night before I went to bed, or when ever me or my wife were leaving. I guess it got old because my wife said it had lost it's meaning so i stopped. I try not to say it often because I know that it annoyed her that I said it so much. sadly I'm the cuddly clingy type but I understand that my wife is not so I try to leave her alone more when were together. it's helped and she gets more cuddly now that I have laid off.

    With that being said, try and find a way to let him know with out it turning into a fight. if he's nuts that it'll be a fight every time and in that case you better get the hell out of there!
    we say I love you when we get off the phone or when we're leaving. We say it all the time, it doesn't make it feel like it means any less to me. I just don't like the clingy "i have to be touching you all the time no matter where we're at" type.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    Hmmm. Don't stay with someone because you don't want to hurt his feelings. It's kinder to do a clean break, than to continue if you're less than thrilled.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    maybe he just has OCD?

    Yep, got to agree with this one. My husband of 18 years has most of those traits and he has OCD. He never grew out of it and he got worst wtih time. The list also gets longer the more years I am with him. One annoying one is not wanting to . go to his families house without me, even though I don't like his family.... Here's another ,,,.demanding we spend every Christmas day wtih his sister...who does not like me. This is the first year, I said no. No to her coming here, no to me going there. Oh it was a big fight....but you know what....i had it. I had enough of his controlling behavior. Now I go and do what I want and he whines about it.


    My advice..............run...run very fast......

    You've stayed for 18 years??? Are you insane, scared, or just someone who doesn't believe in divorce??? (Yes... those people do exist out there.)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,104 Member
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    I suspect this isn't exactly going the way she was thinking it might............
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    I suspect this isn't exactly going the way she was thinking it might............

    I think it definitely has enlightened her... the responses are fairly overwhelming...
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    I suspect this isn't exactly going the way she was thinking it might............

    I think it definitely has enlightened her... the responses are fairly overwhelming...
    I'm not sure what to think anymore. I don't think he's psyhologically disturbed or OCD or dangerous, and I know he'd respect my decision if I left although he'd be broken. I'm crazy about him, just not as much as he is to me. I need time away and I need space. I just don't know how to get it.

    We get compliments very often on how "cute" we are together. I think if everyone who replied to this saw us together, they could see that our relationship is very happy. But I woke up yesterday and doubted if I could handle the suffocation anymore.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    I suspect this isn't exactly going the way she was thinking it might............

    I think it definitely has enlightened her... the responses are fairly overwhelming...
    I'm not sure what to think anymore. I don't think he's psyhologically disturbed or OCD or dangerous, and I know he'd respect my decision if I left although he'd be broken. I'm crazy about him, just not as much as he is to me. I need time away and I need space. I just don't know how to get it.

    We get compliments very often on how "cute" we are together. I think if everyone who replied to this saw us together, they could see that our relationship is very happy. But I woke up yesterday and doubted if I could handle the suffocation anymore.

    Space is so very important... I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum as my wife and I live 2500 miles apart, and I would love to have LESS space (until we live together and then I get NONE lol) It is very important not to feel smothered, and it's a delicate balance because he flies off the handle every time you try to talk to him about it and bawls like a 2 year old (THIS behavior is why the "red flags" are being mentioned here!!!) It's not because of the mushy gushy stuff... that stuff is kinda sweet... and I am even like that (and clingy and touchy feely as well) just not ALL the time. When it's time to sleep... roll over and sleep damn it! LOL

    If you can't talk to him about this... ever... you are eventually going to have to leave, and it's probably not going to be pretty. I wish you nothing but the best either way. :)
  • Jarnard
    Jarnard Posts: 497 Member
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    Awwww. You guys are in the honey moon stage... a month from now that'll die off.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    When it's time to sleep... roll over and sleep damn it! LOL
    lol that's how I feel too
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    I just re-read your list and looked at your pic. Your boyfriend is literally all over you in the picture and you don't look happy about it. When you say he has to text 24/7 and see you every day, etc., that is a sign of controlling behavior and borders on (or is) a type of emotional abuse. I hope you'll consider talking to a counselor about your feelings, if you feel like you want more support.

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