I find myself becoming very judgemental

AmberJslimsAWAY

I've noticed lately, pretty much since I've been on my weightloss kick, that when I see tremendously overweight people out in public, eating gross things ect. I get very judgemental. I really don't want to be this way, and I feel bad for thinking the way I do, but I can't help but think "It's not hard to lose weight, and you shouldn't be eating that"

WTF is wrong with me?

BAMFMeredith

I do it too. When I see overweight families at the grocery store with a cart filled to the top of crap like cookies, chips, soda, boxed meals, etc, in my mind I'm screaming "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN!!!"

I feel kinda guilty for thinking that way, but it's more like I wish I could tell them how horrible that stuff is for them so they could better themselves. But that would be really rude...

Bikini27

It's been programmed that they haven't been trying.
Like I told my coworker today that voiced her opinion about someone's fitness level: If some random person saw me at McDonalds, they wouldn't know I log and workout like crazy to make the snadwich happen.
It's corrective thinking And I totally made myself crave a McDonalds run....

Caitlyl

I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.

AmberJslimsAWAY

I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.

What a good way to look at it.

SunKissed86

"It's not hard to lose weight, and you shouldn't be eating that"

I think you're being more concerned for others then judgemental! :flowerforyou:
You know what is possible and want EVERYONE to know. People need to see it on their own or have close family/friends talk to them, ya know?

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I have "gagged" at some of the things I've seen people eat (in excess, not moderation) or the way they eat. Then, it makes me feel bad for reacting that way, because maybe they just don't know better or maybe they don't care? Who am I to know or judge? Hell, I'm still trying to get myself in control, maybe not in those ways, but I'm not perfect, either.

Skeemer118

I think it's easy to fall into a trap like that & forget where you came from. (Not "you" as in you personally, just using the term) Even if you weren't overweight, just eating unhealthy things wasn't good for your body. Sometimes we generalize other people & think "If I can do it then why can't they? I had the energy & want to so why don't they?" But not everyone is the same. A lot of people are going through a divorce, or a death or a job loss & they deal with things through emotional eating. Some people desperately want to be healthier but truly do not know where to start. Or they already feel defeated by life so why would they want to change? There are so many reasons people don't pursue weight loss or a healthier lifestyle. I spent most of my 20's overweight because I was in an unhappy marriage. We just never know what people are truly dealing with on the inside. Hopefully this helps stir your compassion for others. I have caught myself thinking the same thing before & then I realize I need a slap in the face because just not too long ago it was me that was unhealthy & had no plan to be healthy because I didn't see a way out. Just by your post I can tell you don't really mean to do it & you want to change your way of thinking. You will. We never know what people are going through or why they are the way they are. We all have our baggage. Best of luck to you in your fitness journey.

AmberJslimsAWAY

I think you're being more concerned for others then judgemental! :flowerforyou:
You know what is possible and want EVERYONE to know. People need to see it on their own or have close family/friends talk to them, ya know?

After those thoughts pass, I think "How can you not know how you look?! How are you okay with that?"

^^That is the judgemental part

Skeemer118

It's been programmed that they haven't been trying.
Like I told my coworker today that voiced her opinion about someone's fitness level: If some random person saw me at McDonalds, they wouldn't know I log and workout like crazy to make the snadwich happen.
It's corrective thinking And I totally made myself crave a McDonalds run....

I agree.

RileeMarie

I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.

i agree ^^^.

Riyam

You're just becoming more aware of healthy eating habits. In general, the more aware we are the more we are able to see the bad from the good; which naturally translates as being more inclined to judge good from bad; therefore, judgmental. You can see the difference clearly than before. A new perspective.

If you're having these thoughts privately then its okay, you're free to express.
I try so hard to shut if off but then came to a realization that I can be free in my privates thoughts. Just as long as I don't hurt people's feelings. I never comment on people choices and preferences; keep it to myself.

QueenJayJay

But really, you're just more aware of how to eat healthy, when previously, you weren't.

nnylee

I feel the same sometimes. I also feel terrible that I feel like that too. Makes me feel like a complete b. I just want them to try and do it because they can!! It's just frustrating. Especially when one of them is my roommate. I watch him eat fast food EVERY night and drink 1 liter of soda every two days. It's hard to watch and I've tried telling him, but he won't do it unless he WANTS to!! Everyone surrounding him, our other roommate, my boyfriend are fit and I'm working toward it. So it's just frustrating.

cloud2011

Hmmm. You're projecting? When I eat something like ice cream in public, like I did the other day, I feel awkward, because I worry I'm being judged.

But you might consider that some of these folks have planned for their splurge, as some of us on MFP do. Or we count it and move on, even if we're over our calories for the day.

bulletprooff

A Five Guys (burger chain) opened up literally next to my gym, a women's only gym. I see all of these bigger people (especially men) walk past the gym windows staring at the women working out as they go into the food joint (rows of cardio machines face the windows). When they look at us working out, sweating, kicking our own butts ,in my head I think negatively of them for staring but hope we make them feel guilty for their decision to eat there while we're working out to change ourselves.

kayla7303

I do this, too. Mainly towards my family. I love them so much and I do not want them to harm their health. It makes me sad because getting healthy is not as hard as i assumed it would be

dmpizza

There is nothing wrong with you as long as you control yourself and understand that they are people too.

DataBased

It happens to ex-smokers, too - believe me. You just discover this great knowledge and you feel kind of stupid for not knowing it before. But now that you DO know it, you think absolutely everybody should know it, too. So if they don't "get it" - then it's easy to judge them.

I'm glad you've recognized that you're doing it. I do it, too, and I keep a tight watch on myself to make sure I catch it before I say anything I'll regret later. Remember the story of the ill-tempered boy and the fence full of holes.

AmberJslimsAWAY

I feel the same sometimes. I also feel terrible that I feel like that too. Makes me feel like a complete b. I just want them to try and do it because they can!! It's just frustrating. Especially when one of them is my roommate. I watch him eat fast food EVERY night and drink 1 liter of soda every two days. It's hard to watch and I've tried telling him, but he won't do it unless he WANTS to!! Everyone surrounding him, our other roommate, my boyfriend are fit and I'm working toward it. So it's just frustrating.

I think that's the best way to describe it. It frustrates the hell out of me because they don't HAVE to live that way

janet_pratt

I just think to myself that I'm so glad I'm not that person anymore. The only one I actually remember judging was some enormous lady at a street fair, motoring along in her power chair with an ice cream cone so tall is was tipping to one side. The ice cream, not the power chair. There didn't appear to be anything wrong with her except that her legs could no longer support the weight of her enormous carcass, but I could have been wrong.

loseweightjames

I do it too. When I see overweight families at the grocery store with a cart filled to the top of crap like cookies, chips, soda, boxed meals, etc, in my mind I'm screaming "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN!!!"

I feel kinda guilty for thinking that way, but it's more like I wish I could tell them how horrible that stuff is for them so they could better themselves. But that would be really rude...

well, remember we're trying to fight 200,000 years of human instinct by NOT eating that food. Never in the history of mankind has good tasting food been so cheap and plentiful. We're really blessed to live in this time. Being fat use to be sexy for the past 200,000 years, only the last ~70 years has it become something that's disgusting.

i judge them too, i think we all do, it's hard not to

WolffRN

After those thoughts pass, I think "How can you not know how you look?! How are you okay with that?"

^^That is the judgemental part
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THEY KNOW what they look like, and I'm sure they are not okay with it. Someone pointing it out to them, is definitely NOT going to help.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I feel the same sometimes. I also feel terrible that I feel like that too. Makes me feel like a complete b. I just want them to try and do it because they can!! It's just frustrating. Especially when one of them is my roommate. I watch him eat fast food EVERY night and drink 1 liter of soda every two days. It's hard to watch and I've tried telling him, but he won't do it unless he WANTS to!! Everyone surrounding him, our other roommate, my boyfriend are fit and I'm working toward it. So it's just frustrating.

I think that's the best way to describe it. It frustrates the hell out of me because they don't HAVE to live that way

But the question is, did you know that before you started MFP or getting healthy in general? I'm not sure I could say I knew what healthy eating was, because in my case, I thought less was more. Boy, was I wrong....

AmberJslimsAWAY

Hmmm. You're projecting? When I eat something like ice cream in public, like I did the other day, I feel awkward, because I worry I'm being judged.

But you might consider that some of these folks have planned for their splurge, as some of us on MFP do. Or we count it and move on, even if we're over our calories for the day.

Ok. One of the instances that pissed me off. I was at a texmex place, on my spike day, eating queso, a huge burrito, etc. This family walks in (Husband, wife, about a 7 year old, and a 1 year old) They were all over weight. Parents were obese. They sat next to us, and when they got their food, the man *****ed at the waiter because he ordered 2 lbs of fajita meat. TWO FREAKING POUNDS!!!! And she said "oh, when you said two, I thought you meant you wanted fajitas for two." He wanted to eat enough meat for 4 freaking people. WHY!?!?!

witrixie2011

I was just thinking the same thought the other day and felt guilty about my reaction. And then I remember being exactly where they are and not knowing how to change. I actually thought I ate pretty healthy.... boy was MFP quite the wake up call for me.

Le_Joy

For some people it is hard to lose weight, it is very hard for me. I am doing it, but it takes a LOT of time, energy and effort. I try not to judge others because I have been where they are and I don't know where they are in their journey.

dlwyatt82

It doesn't really matter what you think about other people. For whatever reason, you're going to run into people from time to time and completely disapprove of something about their appearance, behavior, etc.

What matters is how you act toward them. If you're treating people with warm courtesy, regardless of your private impressions, you're not being judgemental.

Your thoughts are your own business, and you're no less a good person for having them.

AmberJslimsAWAY

After those thoughts pass, I think "How can you not know how you look?! How are you okay with that?"

^^That is the judgemental part

THEY KNOW what they look like, and I'm sure they are not okay with it. Someone pointing it out to them, is definitely NOT going to help.
[/quote]

Never said I was thinking about or had pointed it out to anyone. I have a little more tact than that

Tannedtiffers

I find myself doing this, also. Only because, I've been there, and done that. And, it makes me sad to sit there and see someone doing harm to theirselves like that.

angied80

I get irritated because sometimes some of those people think there is nothing they can do about it and just accept how they are. They do not realise it might take work and courage but you CAN change.