I find myself becoming very judgemental

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AmberJslimsAWAY
AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I've noticed lately, pretty much since I've been on my weightloss kick, that when I see tremendously overweight people out in public, eating gross things ect. I get very judgemental. I really don't want to be this way, and I feel bad for thinking the way I do, but I can't help but think "It's not hard to lose weight, and you shouldn't be eating that"

WTF is wrong with me?
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Replies

  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I do it too. When I see overweight families at the grocery store with a cart filled to the top of crap like cookies, chips, soda, boxed meals, etc, in my mind I'm screaming "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN!!!"

    I feel kinda guilty for thinking that way, but it's more like I wish I could tell them how horrible that stuff is for them so they could better themselves. But that would be really rude...
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    It's been programmed that they haven't been trying.
    Like I told my coworker today that voiced her opinion about someone's fitness level: If some random person saw me at McDonalds, they wouldn't know I log and workout like crazy to make the snadwich happen.
    It's corrective thinking :wink: And I totally made myself crave a McDonalds run....
  • Caitlyl
    Caitlyl Posts: 29
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    I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.

    What a good way to look at it.
  • SunKissed86
    SunKissed86 Posts: 51
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    "It's not hard to lose weight, and you shouldn't be eating that"

    I think you're being more concerned for others then judgemental! :flowerforyou:
    You know what is possible and want EVERYONE to know. People need to see it on their own or have close family/friends talk to them, ya know?
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I have "gagged" at some of the things I've seen people eat (in excess, not moderation) or the way they eat. Then, it makes me feel bad for reacting that way, because maybe they just don't know better or maybe they don't care? Who am I to know or judge? Hell, I'm still trying to get myself in control, maybe not in those ways, but I'm not perfect, either.
  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member
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    I think it's easy to fall into a trap like that & forget where you came from. (Not "you" as in you personally, just using the term) Even if you weren't overweight, just eating unhealthy things wasn't good for your body. Sometimes we generalize other people & think "If I can do it then why can't they? I had the energy & want to so why don't they?" But not everyone is the same. A lot of people are going through a divorce, or a death or a job loss & they deal with things through emotional eating. Some people desperately want to be healthier but truly do not know where to start. Or they already feel defeated by life so why would they want to change? There are so many reasons people don't pursue weight loss or a healthier lifestyle. I spent most of my 20's overweight because I was in an unhappy marriage. We just never know what people are truly dealing with on the inside. Hopefully this helps stir your compassion for others. :) I have caught myself thinking the same thing before & then I realize I need a slap in the face because just not too long ago it was me that was unhealthy & had no plan to be healthy because I didn't see a way out. Just by your post I can tell you don't really mean to do it & you want to change your way of thinking. You will. :) We never know what people are going through or why they are the way they are. We all have our baggage. Best of luck to you in your fitness journey. :)
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I think you're being more concerned for others then judgemental! :flowerforyou:
    You know what is possible and want EVERYONE to know. People need to see it on their own or have close family/friends talk to them, ya know?

    After those thoughts pass, I think "How can you not know how you look?! How are you okay with that?"

    ^^That is the judgemental part
  • Skeemer118
    Skeemer118 Posts: 397 Member
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    It's been programmed that they haven't been trying.
    Like I told my coworker today that voiced her opinion about someone's fitness level: If some random person saw me at McDonalds, they wouldn't know I log and workout like crazy to make the snadwich happen.
    It's corrective thinking :wink: And I totally made myself crave a McDonalds run....

    I agree.
  • RileeMarie
    RileeMarie Posts: 113
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    I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.

    i agree ^^^.
  • Riyam
    Riyam Posts: 25
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    You're just becoming more aware of healthy eating habits. In general, the more aware we are the more we are able to see the bad from the good; which naturally translates as being more inclined to judge good from bad; therefore, judgmental. You can see the difference clearly than before. A new perspective.

    If you're having these thoughts privately then its okay, you're free to express.
    I try so hard to shut if off but then came to a realization that I can be free in my privates thoughts. Just as long as I don't hurt people's feelings. I never comment on people choices and preferences; keep it to myself.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    how_rude.jpg

    But really, you're just more aware of how to eat healthy, when previously, you weren't.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 814 Member
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    I feel the same sometimes. I also feel terrible that I feel like that too. :( Makes me feel like a complete b. I just want them to try and do it because they can!! It's just frustrating. Especially when one of them is my roommate. I watch him eat fast food EVERY night and drink 1 liter of soda every two days. It's hard to watch and I've tried telling him, but he won't do it unless he WANTS to!! Everyone surrounding him, our other roommate, my boyfriend are fit and I'm working toward it. So it's just frustrating. D:
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    Hmmm. You're projecting? When I eat something like ice cream in public, like I did the other day, I feel awkward, because I worry I'm being judged.

    But you might consider that some of these folks have planned for their splurge, as some of us on MFP do. Or we count it and move on, even if we're over our calories for the day.
  • bulletprooff
    bulletprooff Posts: 77
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    A Five Guys (burger chain) opened up literally next to my gym, a women's only gym. I see all of these bigger people (especially men) walk past the gym windows staring at the women working out as they go into the food joint (rows of cardio machines face the windows). When they look at us working out, sweating, kicking our own butts ,in my head I think negatively of them for staring but hope we make them feel guilty for their decision to eat there while we're working out to change ourselves.
  • kayla7303
    kayla7303 Posts: 154 Member
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    I do this, too. Mainly towards my family. I love them so much and I do not want them to harm their health. It makes me sad because getting healthy is not as hard as i assumed it would be
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with you as long as you control yourself and understand that they are people too.
  • DataBased
    DataBased Posts: 513 Member
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    It happens to ex-smokers, too - believe me. You just discover this great knowledge and you feel kind of stupid for not knowing it before. But now that you DO know it, you think absolutely everybody should know it, too. So if they don't "get it" - then it's easy to judge them.

    I'm glad you've recognized that you're doing it. I do it, too, and I keep a tight watch on myself to make sure I catch it before I say anything I'll regret later. Remember the story of the ill-tempered boy and the fence full of holes.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I feel the same sometimes. I also feel terrible that I feel like that too. :( Makes me feel like a complete b. I just want them to try and do it because they can!! It's just frustrating. Especially when one of them is my roommate. I watch him eat fast food EVERY night and drink 1 liter of soda every two days. It's hard to watch and I've tried telling him, but he won't do it unless he WANTS to!! Everyone surrounding him, our other roommate, my boyfriend are fit and I'm working toward it. So it's just frustrating. D:

    I think that's the best way to describe it. It frustrates the hell out of me because they don't HAVE to live that way
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
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    I just think to myself that I'm so glad I'm not that person anymore. The only one I actually remember judging was some enormous lady at a street fair, motoring along in her power chair with an ice cream cone so tall is was tipping to one side. The ice cream, not the power chair. There didn't appear to be anything wrong with her except that her legs could no longer support the weight of her enormous carcass, but I could have been wrong.

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