I find myself becoming very judgemental
Replies
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I am the same way, but I find even for more things now -- like someone who is dieting but trying something I find 'dumb'
Like a coworker of mine is going to eat cereal for lunch everyday for a month and see how much weight she loses - ok??0 -
quote from a lady at work "Well if I could not eat cake, I would be skinny as a pole"... Umm, excuses and laziness piss me off!
This is the one that gets me all the time. I'm seriously overweight and 25 lbs into my journey. It isn't nearly as easy to lose the weight as it was to put it on, but never once did I try to blame it on anything except myself. I don't know anyone's story or why they're heavy, but don't blame your size on McDonald's or Pizza Hut or Hostess. They didn't send someone to your house to hold you down and stuff that food into your body. MY hand opened the package, MY hand put that crap in my mouth, nobody but ME.
It's sort of like the day I was watching the news and some mom was on TV saying she thought it was a good idea for some city to ban the toy in a kids' meal if the meal didn't make a certain nutritional requirement. She literally said "I have to buy them a Happy Meal every day because they want the toy." I was STUNNED. Last time I checked, the word "No" and not stopping your car pretty much took the "have to" out of buying anything for a kid. The kids aren't supposed to run the show, the parents are. Don't blame the fact that you're too lazy to go to the store and buy healthy food to make for your children on the restaurant industry.
I have a 2 1/2 year old who is a healthy weight. He's the reason I started this journey. He would eat a chicken kids' meal with fries every day if I let him, but I don't. He eats the same things we do every day (including a veggie with every meal) and if we go out, then it's a treat to get that kids' meal. I'm hoping that with the things I'm learning on my journey, we are now setting a better example for him and he won't have nearly the struggles with his weight that I've had in my life.
People no longer want to take responsibility for themselves, it's always someone else's fault. That kills me.0 -
I've noticed lately, pretty much since I've been on my weightloss kick, that when I see tremendously overweight people out in public, eating gross things ect. I get very judgemental. I really don't want to be this way, and I feel bad for thinking the way I do, but I can't help but think "It's not hard to lose weight, and you shouldn't be eating that"
WTF is wrong with me?
Maybe I can help. You say you think "It's not really hard to lose weight." It's lucky for you that it isn't. That's not true for everyone. I quit smoking seven years ago. I decided to quit, and I said to myself, "When this pack is gone, I just won't buy another." People said it would be hard, and went on and on about how hard it is to quit. My degree is in psych, and I also have a nursing degree, and we had been taught that nicotine was more addicting than heroin. So I bought two big boxes of Nicorette gum, just in case. The instructions said to chew at least 9 pieces a day no matter what, so I chewed a piece. In a few hours I chewed another. It's awful, and that was the last piece I chewed. I gave the rest to a coworker who was quitting. For me, quitting smoking was EASY! Nothing to it. I just quit and never thought about it again. Would it be fair to assume that it's just that easy for everyone, and that everyone who still smokes, and everyone who struggles with quitting and fails just isn't trying hard enough, doesn't care, or is not a virtuous as I am? I suspect it really is hard for most people and that I'm not special, just lucky. Like you're lucky. I figure I don't know how hard either of those things are for any random people I meet so it might be it really is too hard for them at this point in their lives.0 -
Me too all of these things! I always feel bad but I have trouble- the couple at the grocery store yesterday blocking the aisle as they were so obese they were using motorized carts...the girl that seats near me at school who is very overweight that has a donut, juice, and large frappacino every day... I am going to work on trying to think of reasons they may the way they are at that time.0
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I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.
Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.
Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.0 -
I'm like this and can't help it. It's like the more weight I lose the more snarky I get towards those who are obviously not interested in fitness.0
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I'm kinda surprised that so many people think their judgments come from an altruistic place. I think most people judge because of a lack of information, insecurity issues or just wanting to feel better about themselves.
If it's a friend or family member that is an entirely different situation, most of the time feelings are involved and more info is available about the situation.
Everyone does something that someone else might judge you for because "you're hurting yourself." Smoking, drinking, eating meat, driving without a seatbelt, bungee jumping, riding a motorcycle, the list goes on. I think people should focus on making themselves happy and healthy and not worry about what's going on int the cart beside you at the grocery store.
Really no sense in wasting emotion, thoughts and energy on someone/something you have no control over.
Happy Hump Day!!
But I find I am judged more for my weight than for my motorcycle. Here's my thing: What another adult does that doesn't harm the person or property of a non-consenting other, is no one else's business. Those people who think that they are judging because they care are deceiving themselves. If you don't think you are better than someone else, you don't judge their behavior. And I guarantee it's possible to find something to judge in all the judges behaviors.0 -
two comments...having worked at a grocery store in my early 20's (college years), watching people of all sizes walk thru the check out with junk food galore and soda for their family and pull out their food stamp card...that bugged me because i don't understand why the government doesn't regulate that. I judged them because they had "free" money to go pick whatever they wanted, fresh or frozen and they chose that...and they were tan with highlighted hair, and fake nails, or pulled out their fancy cell phones...that is when i would be irritated and judge . There are other programs such as WIC which is monitored and geared toward healthy choices for kids to make sure they got the better choices. My thought is food is fuel and not a luxury and certain kinds are not a necessity. I grew up in low income large family and we didn't get food stamps and we learned to live on necessities...not to open up a new can of worms.
I think someone said it best earlier about how today's society is just different then it used to be...more processed food available, more families on the go looking for "fast" meal solutions to get their kids to the next school event...both parents working all the time....more electronics to entertain your kids and each other.
I hope that at some point everyone can find a happy place to live a happy and healthy lifestyle both mentally and physically.
Edit: I was mainly pointing out that my judgement on what people eat at grocery store had nothing to do with weight. I get that it's easier to eat processed food over fresh food. However...there is a reason why i don't highlight my hair, tan, or get my nails anymore...because i can't afford it! I have diapers to buy, food to provide, and bills to pay on my own.0 -
^I think it's easy to fall into a trap like that & forget where you came from. (Not "you" as in you personally, just using the term) Even if you weren't overweight, just eating unhealthy things wasn't good for your body. Sometimes we generalize other people & think "If I can do it then why can't they? I had the energy & want to so why don't they?" But not everyone is the same. A lot of people are going through a divorce, or a death or a job loss & they deal with things through emotional eating. Some people desperately want to be healthier but truly do not know where to start. Or they already feel defeated by life so why would they want to change? There are so many reasons people don't pursue weight loss or a healthier lifestyle. I spent most of my 20's overweight because I was in an unhappy marriage. We just never know what people are truly dealing with on the inside. Hopefully this helps stir your compassion for others.
I have caught myself thinking the same thing before & then I realize I need a slap in the face because just not too long ago it was me that was unhealthy & had no plan to be healthy because I didn't see a way out. Just by your post I can tell you don't really mean to do it & you want to change your way of thinking. You will. We never know what people are going through or why they are the way they are. We all have our baggage. Best of luck to you in your fitness journey. 0 -
I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.
Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.
Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.
Of course it's not judgmental "in your opinion." But you really don't have any idea how easy or hard anything is for anyone but you. I quit smoking in 2005, and even though I'd smoked for 25 years, it was EASY PEASY! When I finished the pack I was on, I just...quit. I chewed two pieces of Nicorette, because I expected it to be hard, but Nicorette tastes AWFUL and quitting was so easy I just gave away the rest of the Nicorette. Never wanted another cigarette, never missed them. It would be easy for me to decide that people who try to quit and fail just didn't try as hard as I did. But you know what? I'M LUCKY in that regard. I didn't 'work hard for my health..." I was LUCKY! I'm not BETTER than anyone, just LUCKY! I don't care how hard you think you work for your health and your body, you DO NOT know you work harder than anyone else.
In my opinion, I'm not being judgmental of you, I just hate people who think they're better than other people. See how that opinion thing can be inaccurate sometimes?
Also, I don't believe "increased obesity of employees" was the stated reason for your insurance premium increase. And what were the other "cited causes?" Does even one of them apply to you in any way?0 -
Okay, I'm sorry, some of the replies here are really pissing me off. I have been extremely heavy, and I'm still moderately heavy, and I have had to deal with a ton of crap from people in public.
It is impossible to tell from looking at someone what their lifestyle is. Even when I was at my heaviest (300+ lbs) I still worked out and tried to eat healthy--I was a vegan! I have a medical condition and am on medication that makes weight loss almost impossible (which is why my doctor recommended a gastric bypass, which helped but didn't magically fix). When moving hurt, I still made time to exercise in a healthy way, and I was able to keep my blood pressure and sugar levels in a good range (a better indicator of health than pant size). Weight is incredibly complex...experts and studies confirm that it is so, so much more than "eat less/exercise more." Genetics, medication, health conditions, and past lifestyle choices all play a huge part. And heavy people have often been on many, many diets...most of which, studies show, fail, and then cause excessive weight gain and slow metabolism later in life. The assumption that someone who is overweight doesn't take care of themselves, or if they just worked at it they could lose weight, is FALSE and fed by our weight-obsessed society.
Class and money play a huge role. Have you ever tried eating a healthy diet on food stamps? It's almost impossible. My mother tried to feed a family of six on a food budget of a couple hundred dollars...she would have loved to have fresh fruits and veggies in the house, but when a package of Top Ramen is cheaper than an apple, and will actually satisfy the hunger of her children (an apple is a great snack, but doesn't cut it for dinner), she'll chose the item that doesn't make her kids go to bed starving. Processed food is terrible for you and causes weight gain, but that's what poor people buy, because a) it's cheaper, b) it lasts, and c) it's quick to make, and when you're working 2-3 jobs (as my mom was), you don't have time to cook healthy dinners. So please don't judge the mom whose shopping cart is filled with items you personally disapprove of; you have no idea what they're going through.
And you really don't know what someone's lifestyle is like based on a quick glance in the grocery store. A couple years ago, my mom sent me the store to pick up candy and other desserts for a church party that eveneing. While standing in line, the person in front turned around and sneered, "You'll never lose weight if you keep eating like that." Well, considering the food all had milk in it, I wasn't planning on eating ANY of it. And she seriously thought I was gonna take 15 bags of candy home to eat? Is that really what people think fat folks do, sit around all day eating bags of candy?
When I was the low girl on the work totem pole, my boss sent me out to get food from Costco for everyone. So I was getting several hotdogs and snacky things. When I was walking back, a woman said, "No wonder you're fat." Yeah, like I was gonna eat four hotdogs on my own, and anyway, it's none of her business! I was a lot less confident then, so I was in tears by the time I got back to work, and told my boss I couldn't do the food runs anymore (she was pissed on my behalf and totally agreed...they never made me go again). I was so hurt. It takes courage to go out and try to be happy when you're very heavy, and it just takes a little comment, someone reminding you that to the rest of the world you're hideous, to make you want to go home and slit your wrists or never go outside again.
I have on several occassions been used by mothers to fat-shame their children. It's horrible on two levels...1) because they're talking about me like I'm disgusting and the worst thing someone could be, which is SO dehumanizing and hurtful, and 2) because they are using me to scare and shame their daughters, passing on the torch of body hatred, and teaching their kids that it's okay to make rude comments about someone's weight, because FAT IS THE WORST THING EVER. Quick example: when I was a cashier, a girl was bugging her mom for M%M's. The mom said to her daughter, "Do you want to end up fat like HER?" (pointing at me). I quickly finished ringing her up, then had to take a break because I started crying. (I'm a lot tougher now, but I used to be more sensetive about my weight.) This is just one example of many over the years.
It's the reason I always made my little sister get her own popcorn at the theatre...she (skinny girl that she is) likes a lot of extra butter. I told her that I just can't deal with the looks (if not the comments) that I get as a fat girl ordering extra butter. It hurts; I'm not going to put myself in that position. Or if I was celebrating a special occassion or was at a restruant I really liked and wanted a dessert...sometimes I just didn't order (or made my mom or friend order) because I couldn't stand the looks I would get. People didn't know it was something I rarely did. They just assummed that, hey, fat girl orders cake=she must eat cake all day long and that's why she's big. Even if I ordered the same thing my skinny friends ordered.
I have struggled with starving myself (worst thing you can do to lose weight; it just made me unhealthy and more fat), with self-injury (taking out my body hatred on my stomach with a knife), with depression, with social anxiety. Some of it can be traced to the terrible things people have said to me during my life. I'm stronger now, I understand that the people who say and do those things are really just ignorant and scared (they don't understand the complexity of weight loss; they are scared of gaining weight themselves). But it took a lot of therapy and education for me to get to this place, and I still struggle with disordered eating and self-injury.
In conclusion: you don't know what someone's lifestyle is by just looking at them, and you don't know what medical conditions might be the cause of their weight. And you don't know how hurtful even your non-verbal actions can be. Get educated, and have some compassion. Pant size is a terrible indicator of someone's value as a human being.0 -
I concur. Even though I was overweight I knew my eating behaviors were the cause of it. People have to come to this realization first. Next is setting a exercise nutrition plan and sticking to it. The more they stick to this the more likelihood of success and healthy living. I know this is common sense but people that complain like that, are lacking common sense.
Edit: Sorry, meant to quote a previous poster.0 -
Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.
The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.
How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?
I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?0 -
I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.
Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.
Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.
I concur. Even though I was overweight I knew my eating behaviors were the cause of it. People have to come to this realization first. Next is setting a exercise nutrition plan and sticking to it. The more they stick to this the more likelihood of success and healthy living. I know this is common sense but people that complain like that, are lacking common sense.0 -
Elyssa--I am so sorry people have treated you that way. That is terrible.0
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Okay, I'm sorry, some of the replies here are really pissing me off. I have been extremely heavy, and I'm still moderately heavy, and I have had to deal with a ton of crap from people in public.
It is impossible to tell from looking at someone what their lifestyle is. Even when I was at my heaviest (300+ lbs) I still worked out and tried to eat healthy--I was a vegan! I have a medical condition and am on medication that makes weight loss almost impossible (which is why my doctor recommended a gastric bypass, which helped but didn't magically fix). When moving hurt, I still made time to exercise in a healthy way, and I was able to keep my blood pressure and sugar levels in a good range (a better indicator of health than pant size). Weight is incredibly complex...experts and studies confirm that it is so, so much more than "eat less/exercise more." Genetics, medication, health conditions, and past lifestyle choices all play a huge part. And heavy people have often been on many, many diets...most of which, studies show, fail, and then cause excessive weight gain and slow metabolism later in life. The assumption that someone who is overweight doesn't take care of themselves, or if they just worked at it they could lose weight, is FALSE and fed by our weight-obsessed society.
Class and money play a huge role. Have you ever tried eating a healthy diet on food stamps? It's almost impossible. My mother tried to feed a family of six on a food budget of a couple hundred dollars...she would have loved to have fresh fruits and veggies in the house, but when a package of Top Ramen is cheaper than an apple, and will actually satisfy the hunger of her children (an apple is a great snack, but doesn't cut it for dinner), she'll chose the item that doesn't make her kids go to bed starving. Processed food is terrible for you and causes weight gain, but that's what poor people buy, because a) it's cheaper, b) it lasts, and c) it's quick to make, and when you're working 2-3 jobs (as my mom was), you don't have time to cook healthy dinners. So please don't judge the mom whose shopping cart is filled with items you personally disapprove of; you have no idea what they're going through.
And you really don't know what someone's lifestyle is like based on a quick glance in the grocery store. A couple years ago, my mom sent me the store to pick up candy and other desserts for a church party that eveneing. While standing in line, the person in front turned around and sneered, "You'll never lose weight if you keep eating like that." Well, considering the food all had milk in it, I wasn't planning on eating ANY of it. And she seriously thought I was gonna take 15 bags of candy home to eat? Is that really what people think fat folks do, sit around all day eating bags of candy?
When I was the low girl on the work totem pole, my boss sent me out to get food from Costco for everyone. So I was getting several hotdogs and snacky things. When I was walking back, a woman said, "No wonder you're fat." Yeah, like I was gonna eat four hotdogs on my own, and anyway, it's none of her business! I was a lot less confident then, so I was in tears by the time I got back to work, and told my boss I couldn't do the food runs anymore (she was pissed on my behalf and totally agreed...they never made me go again). I was so hurt. It takes courage to go out and try to be happy when you're very heavy, and it just takes a little comment, someone reminding you that to the rest of the world you're hideous, to make you want to go home and slit your wrists or never go outside again.
I have on several occassions been used by mothers to fat-shame their children. It's horrible on two levels...1) because they're talking about me like I'm disgusting and the worst thing someone could be, which is SO dehumanizing and hurtful, and 2) because they are using me to scare and shame their daughters, passing on the torch of body hatred, and teaching their kids that it's okay to make rude comments about someone's weight, because FAT IS THE WORST THING EVER. Quick example: when I was a cashier, a girl was bugging her mom for M%M's. The mom said to her daughter, "Do you want to end up fat like HER?" (pointing at me). I quickly finished ringing her up, then had to take a break because I started crying. (I'm a lot tougher now, but I used to be more sensetive about my weight.) This is just one example of many over the years.
It's the reason I always made my little sister get her own popcorn at the theatre...she (skinny girl that she is) likes a lot of extra butter. I told her that I just can't deal with the looks (if not the comments) that I get as a fat girl ordering extra butter. It hurts; I'm not going to put myself in that position. Or if I was celebrating a special occassion or was at a restruant I really liked and wanted a dessert...sometimes I just didn't order (or made my mom or friend order) because I couldn't stand the looks I would get. People didn't know it was something I rarely did. They just assummed that, hey, fat girl orders cake=she must eat cake all day long and that's why she's big. Even if I ordered the same thing my skinny friends ordered.
I have struggled with starving myself (worst thing you can do to lose weight; it just made me unhealthy and more fat), with self-injury (taking out my body hatred on my stomach with a knife), with depression, with social anxiety. Some of it can be traced to the terrible things people have said to me during my life. I'm stronger now, I understand that the people who say and do those things are really just ignorant and scared (they don't understand the complexity of weight loss; they are scared of gaining weight themselves). But it took a lot of therapy and education for me to get to this place, and I still struggle with disordered eating and self-injury.
In conclusion: you don't know what someone's lifestyle is by just looking at them, and you don't know what medical conditions might be the cause of their weight. And you don't know how hurtful even your non-verbal actions can be. Get educated, and have some compassion. Pant size is a terrible indicator of someone's value as a human being.
^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What a lovely and accurate post!0 -
I was like that at first, but then I realized? It isn't my business what anyone else does with their body. I turned my focus inward and worry about ME - my body, my food choices, etc. I let other people make their own choices. You can't make someone else do something they don't want to do.
So, worry about the choices YOU are making for YOU and don't focus on other people's business.
Oh, this this this this this THIS!!^^^0 -
Usually the time I judge is when I see they have kids that they are feeding crap to. The other day we were at the grocery store and the family in front of us were all overweight and they had a cart full of frozen pizzas, frozen dinners, chips, sugary cereals, etc. They are building habits in those kids that they will try to fight for a lifetime. I feel bad for the kids.0
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I am not so much judgmental about what people are eating themselves, but when they feed their kids crap all of the time, that's what I get upset. I figure, if you're an adult and choose to be unhealthy, that's on you. But when you push those unhealthy behaviors onto your children, that's wrong.
I think it's important to remember, too, that it is probably never as cut-and-dry as it looks to an outsider. I mean.. "but I saw them eating pizza!" is not really enough evidence to make these kinds of judgments. Maybe it was the first time they'd eaten pizza in 6 months-- you have no idea. Maybe mac 'n cheese was all they could afford. Maybe they grew up under the same circumstances, and this is just the way they know how to do life. There are a million possible reasons.
And all of this judgment... where does it get us? What do we gain from it?
I'm talking to me, too-- I am far from innocent. But it's something I'm trying to get a handle on. Compassion doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to some.0 -
I thought I was the only one! I don't have any right to be judgemental yet either! I am so far from goal. but I also do the same thing.
YET? You think at some point you WILL have a right to be judgmental?0 -
Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.
The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.
How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?
I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?
I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.
Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.
As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.0 -
I get irritated because sometimes some of those people think there is nothing they can do about it and just accept how they are. They do not realise it might take work and courage but you CAN change.
This, I casually mentioned MFP to a friend I have that is quite overweight and she didn't seem to interested. Nothing more I could say at that point without her thinking I was rude.0 -
I have been fat for too long, and spent too many years at 400 and even 500+ pounds to judge them.
It just makes me happy that my family is on a new path now.0 -
Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.
The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.
How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?
I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?
I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.
Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.
As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.
Your doctor is either mistaken or told you a half-truth for some reason, then, because there certainly are health conditions and medications which CAUSE weight gain AND weight loss. Certain diseases of the endocrine system are examples of a medical conditions that cause weight gain, and the tricyclics and corticosteroids are examples of classes of drugs which cause weight loss. But what I am talking about is weight gain because you can't exercise or exercise enough. And while it may still come down to diet in this case, you simply cannot know how difficult it is for a disabled person to avoid weight gain or lose weight, and more than that, you cannot know that walking with support of the cart or any of your suggestions is even possible for the person in question.
No matter how difficult it has been for you to lose weight, you cannot know how difficult it is for someone else. If you are so much better than these people, why are you overweight? If you're not saying you are better, then why would you have a right to judge them?0 -
I think it's just hard to watch people "hurt" their bodies when you're trying so hard to take care of yours, something you didn't think of so much before you decided to change how you live.
This. Exactly. It's just like my situation with having kids... I hear about people murdering their children, abusing them, raping them, and neglecting them and I think to myself, "Why on earth are people allowed to do that to their kids when I'm over here trying to lose 100+ pounds to even have a hope of having one of my own???"
It's terrible... unfortunately all we can continue to do is lead by example. I know many of times before I started this I saw people in the store with healthy things in their cart (come on, we all look) and it's made me think twice about the frozen pizza I was picking up.
PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO ABUSE, RAPE, NEGLECT AND MURDER CHILDREN? OMG!!!! I didn't know that. It's true you learn something every day, isn't it?
EDIT:
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but what is being discussed here is NOTHING like your situation. First of all, people AREN'T "allowed to abuse, rape and neglect children." There are laws against it and they are enforced. It is sad that some people who are able to have children sometimes abuse, sexually assault, neglect and murder them, and you can't have children, but they're not "allowed" to do these things, and I'm pretty sure you know it. And abuse, neglect, sexual assault and murder "harm the person or property of a non-consenting other" and being overweight and not exercising don't, which is why it's not illegal. That's a huge difference.0 -
I went through this when I was doing my initial big weightloss (about 5 years ago now), and I eventually came to peace with it and have relaxed a lot on the judgemental thing. I think for me it was sort of a backlash because I was feeling bad about all the times I did the same thing, and it was the closest I could come to going back in time and smacking bad food out of my hands. :P I've gotten past it now and it doesn't bother me anymore...unless it's super blatant, like a friend is whining, muffled, "I CAN NEVER LOSE WEIGHT" around their fifteenth cheeseburger of the day or something.0
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It is hard to see people blatantly hurting themselves. We need to make the difference. We need to get involved in programs and organizations that work to help people be healthier. Make a difference.0
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Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.
The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.
How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?
I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?
I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.
Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.
As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.
Your doctor is either mistaken or told you a half-truth for some reason, then, because there certainly are health conditions and medications which CAUSE weight gain AND weight loss. Certain diseases of the endocrine system are examples of a medical conditions that cause weight gain, and the tricyclics and corticosteroids are examples of classes of drugs which cause weight loss. But what I am talking about is weight gain because you can't exercise or exercise enough. And while it may still come down to diet in this case, you simply cannot know how difficult it is for a disabled person to avoid weight gain or lose weight, and more than that, you cannot know that walking with support of the cart or any of your suggestions is even possible for the person in question.
No matter how difficult it has been for you to lose weight, you cannot know how difficult it is for someone else. If you are so much better than these people, why are you overweight? If you're not saying you are better, then why would you have a right to judge them?
I don't buy that. Many people who can NOT exercise still lose weight. That my friend, is an excuse. We have seen on here time again that you can never exercise at all but still lose weight by restricting calories. Same goes for medications. Any person who is diabetic, or has a thyroid condition CAN lose weight though it may be very hard.
I have seen too many incredible people here who have overcome many conditions and still lost 50, 100, 200lbs because they chose to work for it. I'm not wanting to judge but I am also not going to give sympathy to a person who says they can't lose weight. It is possible for anyone.0 -
Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.
The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.
How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?
I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?
I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.
Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.
As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.
Your doctor is either mistaken or told you a half-truth for some reason, then, because there certainly are health conditions and medications which CAUSE weight gain AND weight loss. Certain diseases of the endocrine system are examples of a medical conditions that cause weight gain, and the tricyclics and corticosteroids are examples of classes of drugs which cause weight loss. But what I am talking about is weight gain because you can't exercise or exercise enough. And while it may still come down to diet in this case, you simply cannot know how difficult it is for a disabled person to avoid weight gain or lose weight, and more than that, you cannot know that walking with support of the cart or any of your suggestions is even possible for the person in question.
No matter how difficult it has been for you to lose weight, you cannot know how difficult it is for someone else. If you are so much better than these people, why are you overweight? If you're not saying you are better, then why would you have a right to judge them?
I don't buy that. Many people who can NOT exercise still lose weight. That my friend, is an excuse. We have seen on here time again that you can never exercise at all but still lose weight by restricting calories. Same goes for medications. Any person who is diabetic, or has a thyroid condition CAN lose weight though it may be very hard.
I have seen too many incredible people here who have overcome many conditions and still lost 50, 100, 200lbs because they chose to work for it. I'm not wanting to judge but I am also not going to give sympathy to a person who says they can't lose weight. It is possible for anyone.
EXCUSE ME? I LOST 100 POUNDS! How f-ing DARE you suggest I am making excuses for anything?!? But I stand by my argument that you do NOT know how difficult it is for anybody but you, and YOU DO NOT have any right to judge whether they are making ENOUGH effort. You don't know anyone's circumstances and you don't know WHY they need that parking space. A doctor just as knowledgable as yours says they DO, or they wouldn't have the permit.
EDIT: Please answer the question: Who are you to judge? Somehow you got fat, didn't you?0 -
Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.
The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.
How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?
I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?
I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.
Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.
As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.
Your doctor is either mistaken or told you a half-truth for some reason, then, because there certainly are health conditions and medications which CAUSE weight gain AND weight loss. Certain diseases of the endocrine system are examples of a medical conditions that cause weight gain, and the tricyclics and corticosteroids are examples of classes of drugs which cause weight loss. But what I am talking about is weight gain because you can't exercise or exercise enough. And while it may still come down to diet in this case, you simply cannot know how difficult it is for a disabled person to avoid weight gain or lose weight, and more than that, you cannot know that walking with support of the cart or any of your suggestions is even possible for the person in question.
No matter how difficult it has been for you to lose weight, you cannot know how difficult it is for someone else. If you are so much better than these people, why are you overweight? If you're not saying you are better, then why would you have a right to judge them?
I don't buy that. Many people who can NOT exercise still lose weight. That my friend, is an excuse. We have seen on here time again that you can never exercise at all but still lose weight by restricting calories. Same goes for medications. Any person who is diabetic, or has a thyroid condition CAN lose weight though it may be very hard.
I have seen too many incredible people here who have overcome many conditions and still lost 50, 100, 200lbs because they chose to work for it. I'm not wanting to judge but I am also not going to give sympathy to a person who says they can't lose weight. It is possible for anyone.
EXCUSE ME? I LOST 100 POUNDS! How f-ing DARE you suggest I am making excuses for anything?!? But I stand by my argument that you do NOT know how difficult it is for anybody but you, and YOU DO NOT have any right to judge whether they are making ENOUGH effort. You don't know anyone's circumstances and you don't know WHY they need that parking space. A doctor just as knowledgable as yours says they DO, or they wouldn't have the permit.
EDIT: Please answer the question: Who are you to judge? Somehow you got fat, didn't you?
Re-read my comment before you blow your lid. I didn't say you made excuses, but people use that as an excuse.
I already answered your question but I will again. I admitted that I got fat by eating terribly but I am doing what I need to do to change it rather than saying what MANY people say, " I cannot lose weight because I have_____".0
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