im not taking anything away from those who have lost a lot o

m60kaf

I personally don't object to fat people . Im not some kind of fat fascist. I was in a hotel the other day and a middle aged slightly overweight guy was sneakily turning his english breakfast into a big sandwich and I kinda chuckled at this and his seeming happiness with himself ... and why not

Two things wind me up

1. Totally acceptable it appears to say I've got too skinny and I'm not looking well (when im still over recommended weight) but apparently when I was over 300 lbs that was fine and somewhat discriminatory to call me fat... To be honest if I was told I was fat a bit more maybe I wouldn't have been. So many people use food as a substitute for love ... its not! food is an inconvenience not a hobby.

2. Going back to my original bit ... anyone that is overweight, who am I to judge if your happy eat on.. the frustration is with people who want to change and their constant belief one is fat because of unhappiness, unlucky genes, metabolism etc etc... When I look at posts on here and compare the post with the picture of the person I tend to agree with the fitter person. Frustratingly I know I used to agree with the more outta shape person 100lbs ago

I have a story I tell... when I was big, I used to put a ready meal in the oven. while it was cooking it would make beans on toast, while the toast was cooking I would make little bean butties but I'd only had a bit of lasagna for tea hadn't i

If I have any embarasment about being fat it wasnt being fat as such it was the attitudes I had and the total embarasment admitting to an always fit and thin person those stupid ideas I had

lauehorn

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

Actually, personally I think we SHOULD celebrate not just people who come back from addictions, but also those (esp. kids) who consistently make good choices all along.

As a culture, we do a lot of glorifying people in recovery. I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate them, but I think there's also an element of gory "rubbernecking" that we do in listening to their stories. It seems the gorier, the farther down they fell, the more we like to hear about it (as a culture, not necessarily as an individual).

The kid who grew up with a lot of temptation, who stayed in school, who never took drugs, who every day made the decision to keep on a path, we never celebrate that kid, and perhaps we should.

I 100% agree with this. We celebrate recovery more than doing it right in the first place.

Also, lots of hating and bitterness towards folks who are "normal" weight their whole lives. Who are you to judge them? Who are you to assign how or why you think they are able to do so? People wear struggles with being overweight like some sort of badge that makes you superior to those who who are normal weight or under weight. Everyone has their struggle, whether it's something obvious like weight, or something else. And struggling to gain weight is just as challenging as struggling to lose. It's sad to hear people make comments of a superior nature such as you can "run circles around your skinny friends." So you're better now? Big deal? Be proud, get healthy, LOVE YOURSELF, but don't be conceited. Don't be condescending. We're all just people, trying to be and wanting love and acceptance.

lauehorn

Why do we have to judge any size! I'm sure there is something everyone does that they deserve a pat on the back for...if you seen me you'd peg me as a "skinny person"...I am very insecure about my body (my problem, yes), I am obsessed with being healthy, it almost controls my life and when I talk about it I get strange looks and comments like "where would you even lose weight?", "you don't know how hard it is, your lucky"...but guess what I have been anywhere from 120lbs to 230lbs! I don't need to announce my struggles because I don't have to explain to anyone but it absolutely amazes me how quick people are to judge...you don't know until you live that persons life..so don't assume luck or genetics or background!! We choose our own paths...some are harder then others and thank goodness I've made it this far...patting myself on the back!

THIS

CrazyDaisysMommy

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

love it.

libby328

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I know people will disagree and never believe it to be true, but being someone who has always been thin, and having one of my best mates as someone who was over 20 stone, and having in depth discussions, we have both come to some realisations.

The main one was that I Was thin because I ate significantly less than him.

Not because I was 'lucky' or had some magical triple speed metabolism.

If it was the case that everyone's metabolism was so far apart then the calculations used to work out your BMR wouldn't work.

People have always said that I eat loads, I never stop eating and I'm so lucky that I can just eat and eat without putting on weight, whilst they hardly eat anything and yet continue to get fatter. Yet when they and I actually note down what they eat in a day and compare it against my intake the reason is clear - I was topping out at a max of around 2500 cals, they were going on to 4000. Just forgetting about that Mars bar they had and those packs of crisps, oh and that pork pie, and that McDonalds burger they called in for on the way home.

The very mentality that makes you argue the case of luck is the same that made you put on weight in the first place. This victim mentality that says it's not your fault, it's just bad luck, refusing to take responsibility for how you eat.

As I mentioned, my friend who is now just about 14 stone (196lbs) and mostly muscle, has not just eaten differently by depriving himself of what he wants - he has fundamentally changed the way he thinks about food and in doing so realised exactly what I've put above - it's not luck - he was just eating more than he should.

This is an argument that annoys me, as one of the 'lucky skinny people'. No, I do a hell of a lot of exercise and eat an appropriate amount. To call me lucky is to dismiss the healthy lifestyle I live.

Now where I have been lucky, is that in my upbringing my parents clearly gave me a natural sense of proper portion control as I have never wanted to over-eat, but that is all, not genetics or luck.

P.s.in before - medical problems etc.

Not to discount your experience but you are not every thin person so your experience doesn't mean it's the same for all thin people either.

My sister married a guy that comes from a thin family and her daughters inherited their attributes when it comes to metabolism, weight, etc. My nieces have always been extremely thin with small bone structures. They actually feel that they are too thin and have gone through periods of time when they have tried to gain weight. I remember one of them telling me that during her senior year in high school, she drank two milkshakes every day with lunch trying to put on a few pounds. Didn't work. She was also one of those who wore her pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital immediately after delivery and tried to gain more weight during her pregnancy because her OG/GYN was concerned about her lack of weight gain during pregnancy. I think she gained something like 18#, IIRC. So, while pregnant, she ate healthy meals but then, to try to gain weight, would also eat a lot of ice cream, cookies, chips, weight-gaining shakes, whatever and still couldn't gain. She also had to stop breastfeeding because she couldn't eat enough to keep herself from losing weight into a level that her physician considered dangerously low. I saw some of her meals during this time. She was eating huge amounts of food to the point where I got a stomach-ache just watching her eat. She also never works out. NEVER. She jokes that her only exercise is walking around in her stilettos at work.

Is she extreme? Sure, this isn't normal. But I've known a few others who are similar.

One of my always slender friends, who has never jogged a day in her life, gone to a gym, or done any kind of regular exercise recently dropped 10# by cutting out her evening snack and packing one sandwich in her lunch instead of two. It took her about 2 weeks to lose it. Not quite as extreme as my niece but she is certainly not in good fitness shape either.

Neither my niece or my friend eat a healthy diet, either.

ETA: Although this doesn't take anything away from those who have maintained a healthy weight, never having been overweight, because they have always just eaten healthy and maintained fitness through exercise. Yes, those people are to be commended.

100% agree! Take my husband and his brother for example, both are 6'3 the brother weighs 150 my husband weighs 250 at his smallest my husband could not have weighed less then 210 or he isn't eating right! My brother in law very inactive eats pizza hut and sweets all day every day ( counted calories for a week he was eating between 2800- 3500) sits on his butt playing Xbox never gains a pound. Husband eats fruits lean meats and veggie he eats 2200 a day as was recommended by dietician , not overly but always on the go, runs plays sports and has a physical job! If he drinks pop for 2 weeks he puts weight on and it takes him about 3 months to lose it! I know it may sound like people are jealous but my friend drinks, eats out daily and never is physical ever! I am at the gym 5 days a week plus doing p90x have been doing the gym bit for almost a year straight and I will never wear a size 0 pant! I struggled with anorexia up until 2008 and ended up with a heart condition. At my lowest still only fit a size 5 . She eats nasty food and junk and will never be bigger then a 1

Lolli1986

If someone has never had to diet to lose/gain weight, and is just naturally a good weight, chances are they just have the genes and metabolism, and have done nothing to be that way. So I don't really see a reason to congratulate them for doing nothing except being born lucky. My sister is the perfect example - she has been a good weight her entire life and has never once dieted or counted calories or exercised. She is in perfect health and physical condition. She is just lucky. Myself on the other hand - I've been overweight all my life and I cannot eat a bite of food without possibly gaining weight - we are just completely different - I'm the "unlucky" one so to speak. It isn't as though I've been pigging out and eating 4000 calories a day all my life.

If you are counting calories and or working out 5 times a week, and say "I've never been overweight", guess what.. you are dieting just like the rest of us - only difference is you've just been in maintenance mode. That doesn't make you special.

I was never over or underweight until I became injured. Actually... scratch that... according to bmi I have never been over or under weight. I just shifted from the bottom end of healthy bmi to top end.

It's not dieting or an amazing metabolism that kept me that way. It was, as you said, maintenance. It was just my lifestyle.

I was,however, lucky enough to have a mother who ate reasonably well, remained active (even without specifically needing to exercise i could see that she was active) and had good portion control.

I always sought out jobs that required a high level of activity, but when I got a desk job I knew that I couldn't expect to stay the same weight without forcing some movement, so I got out every afternoon and moved around. when I felt like it wasn't quite enough moving around, i moved around more (started running instead of walking).

Not jumping up to put my hand up to say "i'm special". I'm just saying how I am the way that I am. It's not dieting - it really is just a way of life. Your mind is not consumed by how many calories are in whatever because you already know what is healthy, how much is a reasonable amount to eat to fuel you for the day, and you know how much you need to move around. It's the no-stress end result of the "lifestyle change" that everyone here is striving towards. "intuitive eating and exercising" etc...

I am, however, extremely lucky to have been born to my mother.

k8lyn_235

first of all, i'm new to MFP and i was feeling excited about how supportive and motivating this site is.. UNTIL THIS MOMENT (not yelling, just capitalizing for emphasis )

ok. i'm going to admit, i do not have as long of a journey as most of the people on here because i am not overweight. that doesn't mean i shouldn't be on MFP does it? i'm on here because i really want to eat healthier and learn how to fuel my body with good food. and also to learn about exercise and what works for me. yes, i want to tone up and lose a few pounds, but i don't need to lose 20, 30, 40+ pounds. i physically can't.

my point is, i'm starting to feel dejected by a lot of these comments. i feel like people on here will look at me and say - oh she's skinny, she doesn't need to lose weight or be on here. i don't want to help her. i hope this isn't true..

sevencallmemom

The main thing that bothers me about this post is that it was posted under "success stories." It seems like a slap in the face. Intentional or unintentional. Makes no difference to me.

yep.

I actually agree with the OP. I think it probably is quite an accomplishment to never be overweight...but really OP, the success forum is where ya thought this thread needed to be?!

Embell0830

Just because someone is thin due to genetics or what have you does not equate health. I may still be 40 lbs overweight but I am healthier and can run circles around most of my "skinny" friends. I'm not going to congratulate someone that stuffs themselves with processed crap, the only squat they do is to sit on the couch and the heaviest thing they lift is the remote. I will how ever admire and respect someone who is healthy, chooses to eat healthy foods and exercises to their full potential regardless of their size.

well put, I totally agree

queenpushycat

If someone has never had to diet to lose/gain weight, and is just naturally a good weight, chances are they just have the genes and metabolism, and have done nothing to be that way. So I don't really see a reason to congratulate them for doing nothing except being born lucky. My sister is the perfect example - she has been a good weight her entire life and has never once dieted or counted calories or exercised. She is in perfect health and physical condition. She is just lucky. Myself on the other hand - I've been overweight all my life and I cannot eat a bite of food without possibly gaining weight - we are just completely different - I'm the "unlucky" one so to speak. It isn't as though I've been pigging out and eating 4000 calories a day all my life.

If you are counting calories and or working out 5 times a week, and say "I've never been overweight", guess what.. you are dieting just like the rest of us - only difference is you've just been in maintenance mode. That doesn't make you special.

Same here... my sister is underweight... and I'm the obese one.

MizzDoc

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

AMEN TO THAT!

WhiteCoc0

Sometime to be "skinny" is not healthy. i used to be "skinny" and if I had MFP, I wouldnt have gotten "fat". I am getting HEALTHY and FIT.

cherrytulips

The kid who grew up with a lot of temptation, who stayed in school, who never took drugs, who every day made the decision to keep on a path, we never celebrate that kid, and perhaps we should.

Very good point! I definitely see both perspectives.

PeaceCorpsKat

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better.

^^^ This

I mean seriously, you get tons of praise for being a "Healthy Wieght" every day, from every direction. Every transaction you have in life, from sitting comfortable in an airplane seat to fitting in the size 2 jeans, is praise. Everytime someone looks at you an envies your body is praise. Everytime you see a model that has a similar body, you can feel proud.

I once lost over 100 pounds and I am track to do that again. The thing is people treated me different when I was normal wieght. People who had never met me before would start saying awful things about the overwieght people around us. They had no idea that I used to be one of them.

I am surprised you don't see it. I don't think people who have not lived the life of a obese person can understand the negativity they deal with every single day. It's not your fault. You work hard to maintain your body and that is nobel and good, but I find it really, seriously odd that you don't see the recognition you get for it.

love22step

I suspect a lot of people who have never been overweight have worked hard to keep that from happening. I kept a good weight until around age 45, when I stopped working out and stopped running 5 days a week. Well, when I was pregnant, I didn't do so good. I gained 69 lbs with my twins, but I worked to lose it after they were born. By the time I found MFP, I was carrying 40 extra pounds. If I'd known about this site sooner, maybe I wouldn't have gotten so bad. This site and the people on it have been very helpful to me. I know I can never slack off if I want to maintain a healthy weight.

Lolli1986

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better.

^^^ This

I mean seriously, you get tons of praise for being a "Healthy Wieght" every day, from every direction. Every transaction you have in life, from sitting comfortable in an airplane seat to fitting in the size 2 jeans, is praise. Everytime someone looks at you an envies your body is praise. Everytime you see a model that has a similar body, you can feel proud.

actually, no one praises you for looking after yourself well. you're just doing what you 'should' be doing. toeing the line, so to speak. then when your weight goes up or down suddenly you're not toeing the line and you're in trouble from every angle. I put on ten kilos when I was injured for a year. I had never been over or under weight, and i still was not over weight. My (now ex) boyfriend's reaction was to go all interventionist on me for ballooning out. The reaction of everyone who was a bit chubby was to tell me 'you look normal now - you used to be tooooo skinny'.

I was never too skinny! I am not too fat! I have done a FANTASTIC JOB of staying within a healthy bmi despite injury, and despite all the usually social pressure to be smaller, and no one but me has EVER, EVER said that.

I am surprised you don't see it. I don't think people who have not lived the life of a obese person can understand the negativity they deal with every single day. It's not your fault. You work hard to maintain your body and that is nobel and good, but I find it really, seriously odd that you don't see the recognition you get for it.

Go and read OP's profile. She has copped her fair share of negativity from the other direction. She is now a healthy weight and here she is still copping it.

D446

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

Actually, personally I think we SHOULD celebrate not just people who come back from addictions, but also those (esp. kids) who consistently make good choices all along.

As a culture, we do a lot of glorifying people in recovery. I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate them, but I think there's also an element of gory "rubbernecking" that we do in listening to their stories. It seems the gorier, the farther down they fell, the more we like to hear about it (as a culture, not necessarily as an individual).

The kid who grew up with a lot of temptation, who stayed in school, who never took drugs, who every day made the decision to keep on a path, we never celebrate that kid, and perhaps we should.

It's not that I don't see your point in celebrating those who did it right in the first place, it's just that it's hard to find the right time and right way for every single instance. If someone says to me "I've never tried alcohol in my life and I really don't want any" I'll say "Good for you!" Same if it's meat, cigarettes, drugs....
But overall, on a site where people are trying to improve their health, yes, we are going to cheer for improvements rather than for staying awesome.

The OP clearly said 'in the society we live in' not MFP. I think these people deserve encouragement and praise. They are what I wish I was. I will emphasize to my children the importance of healthy eating and exercise, as I don't want them to have to experience bad health if they don't have to.

Night_hawker5000

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Are you serous, do you celebrate one year being single and ask your friend to come to you single shower......don't think so.....think before you post wanting us to give you a compliment

Elizabeth_C34

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Are you serous, do you celebrate one year being single and ask your friend to come to you single shower......don't think so.....think before you post wanting us to give you a compliment

Oi..

Cold_Steel

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

You are on a website that is called myfitnesspal. It is ABOUT FITNESS, and TRACKING WORK OUTS AND FOOD. No one is coming on here (unless you are on chit chat and fun) and congratulating people on winning a game of checkers.

Nothing else should be said...

Topic should be closed.

Throw in the towel.

paisley2288

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

I think everyone should congratulate me, then. I've never smoked a cigarette.

meerkat70

I'm not going to get into the skinny wars. Rather I want to take issue with something said in the OP.

You talk about having to 'overcome' your body to lose weight - as if some kind of fight to the death with our bodies were necessary. Talking to people who lose a lot (and perhaps more importantly, maintain that loss) I don't think that this is how it is. Rather, losing weight is about *stopping* a hostile relationship with the body. It's about recognising that your body *is* you, and that you and your body deserve love and respect.

The best way for me to look after myself isn't to stuff myself with chocolate. Doing that to myself was a self-sabotaging, self-hostile act. To lose weight, I needed to start caring for myself in a more appropriate why. I didn't and don't have to 'overcome' anything.

paisley2288

On a serious note, just because someone is in good shape doesn't necessarily mean they get lots of attention and compliments. People have their own struggles and clearly the ones who are insecure are fighting an internal battle. If the OP needs compliments, let her have her compliments.

meerkat70

Go and read OP's profile. She has copped her fair share of negativity from the other direction. She is now a healthy weight and here she is still copping it.

Teensy bit hard to do this since the profile is private.... A bit unfair to expect people to know alllllll about her under these circumstances?

amyy902

okay, i think its important that people learn to read firstly. i never said anything to take away from those who have had their struggles.

secondly dont assume. i have never been a healthy weight till now. i have always been severly UNDERWEIGHT. and all i got was being told you look awful, youre going to snap/die blah blah blah, so actually what oi was saying was how well people who have CONTROL do.

and thirdly, the people who are getting hett up about this post seem to think im having a personal diig at them or wanting my own compliments, which dure to point 2 is not the case.


if you dont like things dont read them or post. your adults. also this is called my fitness pal not my fatness pal. not every one on here is or has been overweight.

chrishgt4

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I know people will disagree and never believe it to be true, but being someone who has always been thin, and having one of my best mates as someone who was over 20 stone, and having in depth discussions, we have both come to some realisations.

The main one was that I Was thin because I ate significantly less than him.

Not because I was 'lucky' or had some magical triple speed metabolism.

If it was the case that everyone's metabolism was so far apart then the calculations used to work out your BMR wouldn't work.

People have always said that I eat loads, I never stop eating and I'm so lucky that I can just eat and eat without putting on weight, whilst they hardly eat anything and yet continue to get fatter. Yet when they and I actually note down what they eat in a day and compare it against my intake the reason is clear - I was topping out at a max of around 2500 cals, they were going on to 4000. Just forgetting about that Mars bar they had and those packs of crisps, oh and that pork pie, and that McDonalds burger they called in for on the way home.

The very mentality that makes you argue the case of luck is the same that made you put on weight in the first place. This victim mentality that says it's not your fault, it's just bad luck, refusing to take responsibility for how you eat.

As I mentioned, my friend who is now just about 14 stone (196lbs) and mostly muscle, has not just eaten differently by depriving himself of what he wants - he has fundamentally changed the way he thinks about food and in doing so realised exactly what I've put above - it's not luck - he was just eating more than he should.

This is an argument that annoys me, as one of the 'lucky skinny people'. No, I do a hell of a lot of exercise and eat an appropriate amount. To call me lucky is to dismiss the healthy lifestyle I live.

Now where I have been lucky, is that in my upbringing my parents clearly gave me a natural sense of proper portion control as I have never wanted to over-eat, but that is all, not genetics or luck.

P.s.in before - medical problems etc.

Not to discount your experience but you are not every thin person so your experience doesn't mean it's the same for all thin people either.

My sister married a guy that comes from a thin family and her daughters inherited their attributes when it comes to metabolism, weight, etc. My nieces have always been extremely thin with small bone structures. They actually feel that they are too thin and have gone through periods of time when they have tried to gain weight. I remember one of them telling me that during her senior year in high school, she drank two milkshakes every day with lunch trying to put on a few pounds. Didn't work. She was also one of those who wore her pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital immediately after delivery and tried to gain more weight during her pregnancy because her OG/GYN was concerned about her lack of weight gain during pregnancy. I think she gained something like 18#, IIRC. So, while pregnant, she ate healthy meals but then, to try to gain weight, would also eat a lot of ice cream, cookies, chips, weight-gaining shakes, whatever and still couldn't gain. She also had to stop breastfeeding because she couldn't eat enough to keep herself from losing weight into a level that her physician considered dangerously low. I saw some of her meals during this time. She was eating huge amounts of food to the point where I got a stomach-ache just watching her eat. She also never works out. NEVER. She jokes that her only exercise is walking around in her stilettos at work.

Is she extreme? Sure, this isn't normal. But I've known a few others who are similar.

One of my always slender friends, who has never jogged a day in her life, gone to a gym, or done any kind of regular exercise recently dropped 10# by cutting out her evening snack and packing one sandwich in her lunch instead of two. It took her about 2 weeks to lose it. Not quite as extreme as my niece but she is certainly not in good fitness shape either.

Neither my niece or my friend eat a healthy diet, either.

ETA: Although this doesn't take anything away from those who have maintained a healthy weight, never having been overweight, because they have always just eaten healthy and maintained fitness through exercise. Yes, those people are to be commended.

I am not every thin person, but I have tried this little experiment with several people and it always comes out the same.

Knowing myself and a couple of others who are on the slim side of the scale and a similar amount of friends on the larger side of the scale. Comments have always been directed against the slim of us that we are lucky and we have higher metabolisms and we are always eating but never gaining weight. Yet then we have a conversation about what have we actually eaten this weekend. The slimmer ones might be some cereal, a small lunch and a big dinner and nothing else. Everyone saw us scoffing down on the big dinner and made the assumption we must have eaten loads that day. Not considering the fact that they had eaten the same dinner, then when quizzed about what else they had had, well, full english for breakfast, oh and i finished off last night's takeaway as well (oh wait so you had a takeaway last night did you?) then I had some lunch and then this nothing else. So we ask no snacks in between? Oh I had a mars bar and a bag of crisps after lunch...and a bag of sweets after dinner...

And we see the difference immediately. This is not a one off - it is regular. But they like to rationalise it out as bad luck.

Well actually - the larger someone is the higher their metabolism is so in fact they will have higher metabolisms than I do.

When people talk of thin families - everyone assumes genetics, but no one ever considers that it may actually be upbringing.

Also - regarding trying to gain weight and failing. Been there, done that. I've eaten the extra to try and put on weight. But what I didn't realise is I was just subconsciously dropping something else along the day. My natural hunger levels were keeping me on the same diet, so if I overate at lunch, I would accidentally under eat at dinner. Of course I wouldn't think about this and would just think, well I ate loads today and all this week, why am I not gaining?!

What I say is much in annoyance at people perpetuating the myth, which in turn is annoying for me because it allows people to write my efforts off as luck and genetics. But also because genuinely I believe trying to make excuses for why you gained weight such as bad luck/genetics, are hindering success in so many people.

Just accept responsibility for your body - if it's overweight it's because you've been eating too much. I was underweight because I ate too little. And I believed it was genetics - if you read my profile I say this - then I learned I was wrong. Genetics can affect how easily you put on muscle to a degree, and it can also affect how easily you gain fat to a degree. But we are talking degrees.

Those who are muscular are not 'lucky' They work god damn hard.

To re-iterate a point. The BMR calculations wouldn't work if 99% of the public had very similar metabolisms.

Lolli1986

Go and read OP's profile. She has copped her fair share of negativity from the other direction. She is now a healthy weight and here she is still copping it.

Teensy bit hard to do this since the profile is private.... A bit unfair to expect people to know alllllll about her under these circumstances?

Okay, I didn't realise that.... but underweight was mentioned in her post, as was 'in the society we live in'. It's probably not too much of a stretch to assume that we're all aware anoexia and bulimia exist, and that people suffering from all types of eating disorders do in fact use this site. It was pretty annoying to see a bunch of people assume a fit-looking girl was fishing for compliments when she specifically mentioned underweight.

As I said to her, I thought she had a really good point - I didn't even realise that I was technically one of the people she was referring to initially because someone always wants me to be thinner, or thicker, or more toned, or less muscly. The point is that we're all so happy to point out negatives and it might be better to congratulate positives. Currently I get policed by everyone every time a kilo on me changes, in any of four directions (more fat, less fat, more muscle, less muscle).

I liked her point.

chrishgt4

Oh and regarding people who are healthy and always have been and have no congratulations for being that way.

I don't think they should have any - it SHOULD be the norm. Mothers don't get constantly congratulated because they are managing to raise a child. You're a mum, it's your job. I don't constantly get told well done when I finish a piece of work in my job...it's my job!

It is our job to look after our body.

I honestly think that culture has slipped to a point that we are too eager to celebrate people and too shy from berating them. We want everyone to just be happy, but ultimately it doesn't work. If we don't criticise those who are wrong, then the praise we give to those who are right becomes meaningless.

ashleab37

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I know people will disagree and never believe it to be true, but being someone who has always been thin, and having one of my best mates as someone who was over 20 stone, and having in depth discussions, we have both come to some realisations.

The main one was that I Was thin because I ate significantly less than him.

Not because I was 'lucky' or had some magical triple speed metabolism.

If it was the case that everyone's metabolism was so far apart then the calculations used to work out your BMR wouldn't work.

People have always said that I eat loads, I never stop eating and I'm so lucky that I can just eat and eat without putting on weight, whilst they hardly eat anything and yet continue to get fatter. Yet when they and I actually note down what they eat in a day and compare it against my intake the reason is clear - I was topping out at a max of around 2500 cals, they were going on to 4000. Just forgetting about that Mars bar they had and those packs of crisps, oh and that pork pie, and that McDonalds burger they called in for on the way home.

The very mentality that makes you argue the case of luck is the same that made you put on weight in the first place. This victim mentality that says it's not your fault, it's just bad luck, refusing to take responsibility for how you eat.

As I mentioned, my friend who is now just about 14 stone (196lbs) and mostly muscle, has not just eaten differently by depriving himself of what he wants - he has fundamentally changed the way he thinks about food and in doing so realised exactly what I've put above - it's not luck - he was just eating more than he should.

This is an argument that annoys me, as one of the 'lucky skinny people'. No, I do a hell of a lot of exercise and eat an appropriate amount. To call me lucky is to dismiss the healthy lifestyle I live.

Now where I have been lucky, is that in my upbringing my parents clearly gave me a natural sense of proper portion control as I have never wanted to over-eat, but that is all, not genetics or luck.

P.s.in before - medical problems etc.

I agree in most cases but there ARE exceptions, and not just "medical problems".

My partner, for example, eats an average of 4,500 cal a day. We've added up his calories many times. His weight does not vary outside of 79-81kg, and he is 6'4" - BMI of 22. Somewhat buff, relatively muscular, neither "slim" or anywhere near fat. Relatively low activity levels.

He quite happily admits he is a "lucky one"

knitfastpurlyoung

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

I would disagree - it is now frowned upon to be thin by a lot of people, and it is becoming more and more fashionable to say how cool fat people look.

People are allowed to say how gaunt and thin someone looks, "how skeletal and how disgusting it is, look at this big beautiful woman over here, she's so comfortable and doesn't need to be skinny" etc etc. That is just double standards as far as I'm concerned.

I'm 5'9, roughly 10 stone now after 8 weeks of working hard on diet and exercise (lost 9lbs). It seems everyone thinks I'm "skinny". Not fit, not in proportion, not slender. Skinny.

When I tell someone I go to the gym, the majority of the time I get told I shouldn't be going, or I don't need to go, I'm "skinny" enough. Health doesn't even seem to be part of the discussion, which is entirely my reason for changing my lifestyle.

It's a little demoralising. Its not the worst thing to ever happen, but its a bit alienating. I come on MFP to motivate and be motivated by like-minded people and share and celebrate in your success, at whichever point you started.