im not taking anything away from those who have lost a lot o

paisley2288

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

I think everyone should congratulate me, then. I've never smoked a cigarette.

meerkat70

I'm not going to get into the skinny wars. Rather I want to take issue with something said in the OP.

You talk about having to 'overcome' your body to lose weight - as if some kind of fight to the death with our bodies were necessary. Talking to people who lose a lot (and perhaps more importantly, maintain that loss) I don't think that this is how it is. Rather, losing weight is about *stopping* a hostile relationship with the body. It's about recognising that your body *is* you, and that you and your body deserve love and respect.

The best way for me to look after myself isn't to stuff myself with chocolate. Doing that to myself was a self-sabotaging, self-hostile act. To lose weight, I needed to start caring for myself in a more appropriate why. I didn't and don't have to 'overcome' anything.

paisley2288

On a serious note, just because someone is in good shape doesn't necessarily mean they get lots of attention and compliments. People have their own struggles and clearly the ones who are insecure are fighting an internal battle. If the OP needs compliments, let her have her compliments.

meerkat70

Go and read OP's profile. She has copped her fair share of negativity from the other direction. She is now a healthy weight and here she is still copping it.

Teensy bit hard to do this since the profile is private.... A bit unfair to expect people to know alllllll about her under these circumstances?

amyy902

okay, i think its important that people learn to read firstly. i never said anything to take away from those who have had their struggles.

secondly dont assume. i have never been a healthy weight till now. i have always been severly UNDERWEIGHT. and all i got was being told you look awful, youre going to snap/die blah blah blah, so actually what oi was saying was how well people who have CONTROL do.

and thirdly, the people who are getting hett up about this post seem to think im having a personal diig at them or wanting my own compliments, which dure to point 2 is not the case.


if you dont like things dont read them or post. your adults. also this is called my fitness pal not my fatness pal. not every one on here is or has been overweight.

chrishgt4

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I know people will disagree and never believe it to be true, but being someone who has always been thin, and having one of my best mates as someone who was over 20 stone, and having in depth discussions, we have both come to some realisations.

The main one was that I Was thin because I ate significantly less than him.

Not because I was 'lucky' or had some magical triple speed metabolism.

If it was the case that everyone's metabolism was so far apart then the calculations used to work out your BMR wouldn't work.

People have always said that I eat loads, I never stop eating and I'm so lucky that I can just eat and eat without putting on weight, whilst they hardly eat anything and yet continue to get fatter. Yet when they and I actually note down what they eat in a day and compare it against my intake the reason is clear - I was topping out at a max of around 2500 cals, they were going on to 4000. Just forgetting about that Mars bar they had and those packs of crisps, oh and that pork pie, and that McDonalds burger they called in for on the way home.

The very mentality that makes you argue the case of luck is the same that made you put on weight in the first place. This victim mentality that says it's not your fault, it's just bad luck, refusing to take responsibility for how you eat.

As I mentioned, my friend who is now just about 14 stone (196lbs) and mostly muscle, has not just eaten differently by depriving himself of what he wants - he has fundamentally changed the way he thinks about food and in doing so realised exactly what I've put above - it's not luck - he was just eating more than he should.

This is an argument that annoys me, as one of the 'lucky skinny people'. No, I do a hell of a lot of exercise and eat an appropriate amount. To call me lucky is to dismiss the healthy lifestyle I live.

Now where I have been lucky, is that in my upbringing my parents clearly gave me a natural sense of proper portion control as I have never wanted to over-eat, but that is all, not genetics or luck.

P.s.in before - medical problems etc.

Not to discount your experience but you are not every thin person so your experience doesn't mean it's the same for all thin people either.

My sister married a guy that comes from a thin family and her daughters inherited their attributes when it comes to metabolism, weight, etc. My nieces have always been extremely thin with small bone structures. They actually feel that they are too thin and have gone through periods of time when they have tried to gain weight. I remember one of them telling me that during her senior year in high school, she drank two milkshakes every day with lunch trying to put on a few pounds. Didn't work. She was also one of those who wore her pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital immediately after delivery and tried to gain more weight during her pregnancy because her OG/GYN was concerned about her lack of weight gain during pregnancy. I think she gained something like 18#, IIRC. So, while pregnant, she ate healthy meals but then, to try to gain weight, would also eat a lot of ice cream, cookies, chips, weight-gaining shakes, whatever and still couldn't gain. She also had to stop breastfeeding because she couldn't eat enough to keep herself from losing weight into a level that her physician considered dangerously low. I saw some of her meals during this time. She was eating huge amounts of food to the point where I got a stomach-ache just watching her eat. She also never works out. NEVER. She jokes that her only exercise is walking around in her stilettos at work.

Is she extreme? Sure, this isn't normal. But I've known a few others who are similar.

One of my always slender friends, who has never jogged a day in her life, gone to a gym, or done any kind of regular exercise recently dropped 10# by cutting out her evening snack and packing one sandwich in her lunch instead of two. It took her about 2 weeks to lose it. Not quite as extreme as my niece but she is certainly not in good fitness shape either.

Neither my niece or my friend eat a healthy diet, either.

ETA: Although this doesn't take anything away from those who have maintained a healthy weight, never having been overweight, because they have always just eaten healthy and maintained fitness through exercise. Yes, those people are to be commended.

I am not every thin person, but I have tried this little experiment with several people and it always comes out the same.

Knowing myself and a couple of others who are on the slim side of the scale and a similar amount of friends on the larger side of the scale. Comments have always been directed against the slim of us that we are lucky and we have higher metabolisms and we are always eating but never gaining weight. Yet then we have a conversation about what have we actually eaten this weekend. The slimmer ones might be some cereal, a small lunch and a big dinner and nothing else. Everyone saw us scoffing down on the big dinner and made the assumption we must have eaten loads that day. Not considering the fact that they had eaten the same dinner, then when quizzed about what else they had had, well, full english for breakfast, oh and i finished off last night's takeaway as well (oh wait so you had a takeaway last night did you?) then I had some lunch and then this nothing else. So we ask no snacks in between? Oh I had a mars bar and a bag of crisps after lunch...and a bag of sweets after dinner...

And we see the difference immediately. This is not a one off - it is regular. But they like to rationalise it out as bad luck.

Well actually - the larger someone is the higher their metabolism is so in fact they will have higher metabolisms than I do.

When people talk of thin families - everyone assumes genetics, but no one ever considers that it may actually be upbringing.

Also - regarding trying to gain weight and failing. Been there, done that. I've eaten the extra to try and put on weight. But what I didn't realise is I was just subconsciously dropping something else along the day. My natural hunger levels were keeping me on the same diet, so if I overate at lunch, I would accidentally under eat at dinner. Of course I wouldn't think about this and would just think, well I ate loads today and all this week, why am I not gaining?!

What I say is much in annoyance at people perpetuating the myth, which in turn is annoying for me because it allows people to write my efforts off as luck and genetics. But also because genuinely I believe trying to make excuses for why you gained weight such as bad luck/genetics, are hindering success in so many people.

Just accept responsibility for your body - if it's overweight it's because you've been eating too much. I was underweight because I ate too little. And I believed it was genetics - if you read my profile I say this - then I learned I was wrong. Genetics can affect how easily you put on muscle to a degree, and it can also affect how easily you gain fat to a degree. But we are talking degrees.

Those who are muscular are not 'lucky' They work god damn hard.

To re-iterate a point. The BMR calculations wouldn't work if 99% of the public had very similar metabolisms.

Lolli1986

Go and read OP's profile. She has copped her fair share of negativity from the other direction. She is now a healthy weight and here she is still copping it.

Teensy bit hard to do this since the profile is private.... A bit unfair to expect people to know alllllll about her under these circumstances?

Okay, I didn't realise that.... but underweight was mentioned in her post, as was 'in the society we live in'. It's probably not too much of a stretch to assume that we're all aware anoexia and bulimia exist, and that people suffering from all types of eating disorders do in fact use this site. It was pretty annoying to see a bunch of people assume a fit-looking girl was fishing for compliments when she specifically mentioned underweight.

As I said to her, I thought she had a really good point - I didn't even realise that I was technically one of the people she was referring to initially because someone always wants me to be thinner, or thicker, or more toned, or less muscly. The point is that we're all so happy to point out negatives and it might be better to congratulate positives. Currently I get policed by everyone every time a kilo on me changes, in any of four directions (more fat, less fat, more muscle, less muscle).

I liked her point.

chrishgt4

Oh and regarding people who are healthy and always have been and have no congratulations for being that way.

I don't think they should have any - it SHOULD be the norm. Mothers don't get constantly congratulated because they are managing to raise a child. You're a mum, it's your job. I don't constantly get told well done when I finish a piece of work in my job...it's my job!

It is our job to look after our body.

I honestly think that culture has slipped to a point that we are too eager to celebrate people and too shy from berating them. We want everyone to just be happy, but ultimately it doesn't work. If we don't criticise those who are wrong, then the praise we give to those who are right becomes meaningless.

ashleab37

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I know people will disagree and never believe it to be true, but being someone who has always been thin, and having one of my best mates as someone who was over 20 stone, and having in depth discussions, we have both come to some realisations.

The main one was that I Was thin because I ate significantly less than him.

Not because I was 'lucky' or had some magical triple speed metabolism.

If it was the case that everyone's metabolism was so far apart then the calculations used to work out your BMR wouldn't work.

People have always said that I eat loads, I never stop eating and I'm so lucky that I can just eat and eat without putting on weight, whilst they hardly eat anything and yet continue to get fatter. Yet when they and I actually note down what they eat in a day and compare it against my intake the reason is clear - I was topping out at a max of around 2500 cals, they were going on to 4000. Just forgetting about that Mars bar they had and those packs of crisps, oh and that pork pie, and that McDonalds burger they called in for on the way home.

The very mentality that makes you argue the case of luck is the same that made you put on weight in the first place. This victim mentality that says it's not your fault, it's just bad luck, refusing to take responsibility for how you eat.

As I mentioned, my friend who is now just about 14 stone (196lbs) and mostly muscle, has not just eaten differently by depriving himself of what he wants - he has fundamentally changed the way he thinks about food and in doing so realised exactly what I've put above - it's not luck - he was just eating more than he should.

This is an argument that annoys me, as one of the 'lucky skinny people'. No, I do a hell of a lot of exercise and eat an appropriate amount. To call me lucky is to dismiss the healthy lifestyle I live.

Now where I have been lucky, is that in my upbringing my parents clearly gave me a natural sense of proper portion control as I have never wanted to over-eat, but that is all, not genetics or luck.

P.s.in before - medical problems etc.

I agree in most cases but there ARE exceptions, and not just "medical problems".

My partner, for example, eats an average of 4,500 cal a day. We've added up his calories many times. His weight does not vary outside of 79-81kg, and he is 6'4" - BMI of 22. Somewhat buff, relatively muscular, neither "slim" or anywhere near fat. Relatively low activity levels.

He quite happily admits he is a "lucky one"

knitfastpurlyoung

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

I would disagree - it is now frowned upon to be thin by a lot of people, and it is becoming more and more fashionable to say how cool fat people look.

People are allowed to say how gaunt and thin someone looks, "how skeletal and how disgusting it is, look at this big beautiful woman over here, she's so comfortable and doesn't need to be skinny" etc etc. That is just double standards as far as I'm concerned.

I'm 5'9, roughly 10 stone now after 8 weeks of working hard on diet and exercise (lost 9lbs). It seems everyone thinks I'm "skinny". Not fit, not in proportion, not slender. Skinny.

When I tell someone I go to the gym, the majority of the time I get told I shouldn't be going, or I don't need to go, I'm "skinny" enough. Health doesn't even seem to be part of the discussion, which is entirely my reason for changing my lifestyle.

It's a little demoralising. Its not the worst thing to ever happen, but its a bit alienating. I come on MFP to motivate and be motivated by like-minded people and share and celebrate in your success, at whichever point you started.

samandlucysmum

, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Why should they get it noticed as an achievement, it is natural, there is no effort required to keep that size/weight, achievement should be recognized for people who put effort into doing something. Next you will be saying that people should be recognized for not getting cancer etc!!!.....

chrishgt4

I agree in most cases but there ARE exceptions, and not just "medical problems".

My partner, for example, eats an average of 4,500 cal a day. We've added up his calories many times. His weight does not vary outside of 79-81kg, and he is 6'4" - BMI of 22. Somewhat buff, relatively muscular, neither "slim" or anywhere near fat. Relatively low activity levels.

He quite happily admits he is a "lucky one"

I know what you mean - I put medical problems etc. basically meaning those 1% who don't fit the standard mould.

My point is more against those who generalise that 1% up to create an excuse for everyone.

ashleab37

I agree in most cases but there ARE exceptions, and not just "medical problems".

My partner, for example, eats an average of 4,500 cal a day. We've added up his calories many times. His weight does not vary outside of 79-81kg, and he is 6'4" - BMI of 22. Somewhat buff, relatively muscular, neither "slim" or anywhere near fat. Relatively low activity levels.

He quite happily admits he is a "lucky one"

I know what you mean - I put medical problems etc. basically meaning those 1% who don't fit the standard mould.

My point is more against those who generalise that 1% up to create an excuse for everyone.

I agree entirely. I had this discussion at work today as I'm trying to help one of the guys gain weight, he's 5'8" and 55kg/120lb. He is not happy with his body. I have given him a diet plan to follow (based on MFP + 1lb a week) and told him to follow it to the letter for a month and guaranteed he will lose at least 2lb/1kg. He's like "nahhh man I try all the time I just never gain it man"

If he follows it I know he'll be 57kg in a month, I just know it.

amyy902

, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Why should they get it noticed as an achievement, it is natural, there is no effort required to keep that size/weight, achievement should be recognized for people who put effort into doing something. Next you will be saying that people should be recognized for not getting cancer etc!!!.....

#

thats an immature thing to say. my dad just died of cancer. you cant avoid getting that. but you can avoid becoming overweight. and it seems like every other person lets them self get into this state and its the minority of people who actually lead active healthy lives.

so i say well done for not smoking, well done for not drinking to excess well done for not being a drug addict and well done for not being obesse or not being anorexic.

and nahh im not congratulating myself. i had anorexia for 14 years. which is just as bad as getting fatter and fatter for 14 years.

kryptonitekelly

I find most people on here, who are normal weight, but eating less than 1200 cals or on 1200 cals have eating problems. This is my opinion though.

I'm normal weight, but aim to eat 2000 cals. (Daily Recommended Intake UK). I use MFP so I know how much I am intaking. Before MFP, I would eat whenever and always had at least 3 portions on a plate (while staying the same weight)...but now I know what portion sizes are, etc and that it's pretty easy to reach the 2000 mark!

kryptonitekelly

I also have to say,
some people who look normal weight may not be healthy!

Example

My friend is 21, weighs around 8 stone and is 5`4.

Her daily intake consists of sugary cereals, pizza, indian curries, crisps, chocolate, you get my drift. That is every day! She never eats healthy salads, etc. She does dance for an hour one day aweek and that's it. So she may look healthy, but infact she's shoveling down rubbish!

amyy902

I also have to say,
some people who look normal weight may not be healthy!

Example

My friend is 21, weighs around 8 stone and is 5`4.

Her daily intake consists of sugary cereals, pizza, indian curries, crisps, chocolate, you get my drift. That is every day! She never eats healthy salads, etc. She does dance for an hour one day aweek and that's it. So she may look healthy, but infact she's shoveling down rubbish!

completely agree, im one of those people now.
but those leading healthy active lives pretty much all the time seem to be a minority, being healthy and being either over or underweight rarely go hand in hand - it does in some cases but not many.

provence9

Ha-Ha. .

provence9

And while we're at it we may as well take a moment to consider how hard it is to be rich. Sometimes the pool boy does a half *kitten* job skimming my koi pond. Why does no one feel my pain?? Where's my parade?

:noway:

Very Funny

HittingHerStride

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

AMEN