im not taking anything away from those who have lost a lot o

MikeSEA

Just reading through the post, I think there are two overall problems. First, there's some confusion, or perhaps just disagreement, over whether we should celebrate effort or results. The second problem is that we tend to make some inappropriate assumptions about either results or effort based on appearance.

The first problem is understandable. There are aspects in life where results matter. When I was teaching, I didn't give credit for effort. Does it suck that one person has to work twice as hard to be half as good as someone else in whatever subject? Yup. Life is unfair. That said, there are aspects of life when I think it's important to celebrate the effort. I believe that weight loss and overall fitness are so grounded in motivation that those good efforts need to be celebrated.

The second problem has to do with how we might judge effort. We try to use the result, as it's displayed, as a measurement of effort. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't make any sense. Is it possible for someone who loses 150lbs to do so without putting in some impressive work? Sure, but I don't think it's all that likely. I think in that case, we can accept their weight loss as a reasonable measure of their effort. When we see someone who is fit, with no evidence of ever having been overweight, it's hard to know what kind of effort they put into looking fit. It could be the same daily struggle as someone who loses 150lbs or it could be mostly effortless due to routine; it's hard to say.

So when we celebrate people who have success in losing weight, it's not a slight to people who never had anything to lose. The two aren't related at all. It's just that it's easier to see the effort put in by someone who's lost a lot of weight. If the thinner, fitter, person wants a trophy for the effort they put in, they'll have to get it from friends who know them and see the work they put into themselves. Is that fair? Maybe not....as I said before it's not fair that some people have to work twice as hard to be half as good either.

briteyes

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

YES!

because those of us who have stayed thin, not smoked or done drugs, etc most (if not all) of our lives still had to make that choice. we were still faced with all the same temptations as everyone else. after having my babies and being heavier than starting out, could i have just gave in and let myself go? in times of heavy stress, could I have decided to eat until the pain went away? could I have given in to peer pressure and done drugs w/ the druggie kids at school?

i could have, but i didn't. i made that choice and I think that is an accomplishment. i don't go around patting my back for it or rubbing it in other's faces, but i think we (society) put a lot of focus on recovery and maybe not enough on prevention.

gsager

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Genetics

amyy902

i mean i just wanted to see if i posted something people would respond, so i just wrote something i heard on TV which is funny because some people have seen this as a serioussss subject and now people are getting all anxsty its quite funny, but has raised a few points for me one being over weight people think they have it so much harder than underwieght or normal weight people - which yes they do im not being mean to over weight people at all by saying this. its just something that came off. and most people would agree, they didnt get overweight by going running everyday or restricting their diets, so yeah they do have to work harder and im not saying its all just physical yep theres psychological reasons too, i was annorexic for a longggggggggg time i really know the back lash, you get picked on if youre fat or skinny so no skinny people dont have their own cheerleaders. i sound mean im not being mean. im not. but wow.

lind3400

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Are you serous, do you celebrate one year being single and ask your friend to come to you single shower......don't think so.....think before you post wanting us to give you a compliment

Agreed, I'm a bitter overweight person and I only congratulate those who have done amazing things like some of the extrodinary people on this site...
Great you never put on weight but I feel like your throwin it in my face because I can't even look at a doughnut without putting on 5lbs.....and I don't like it

lind3400

i mean i just wanted to see if i posted something people would respond, so i just wrote something i heard on TV which is funny because some people have seen this as a serioussss subject and now people are getting all anxsty its quite funny, but has raised a few points for me one being over weight people think they have it so much harder than underwieght or normal weight people - which yes they do im not being mean to over weight people at all by saying this. its just something that came off. and most people would agree, they didnt get overweight by going running everyday or restricting their diets, so yeah they do have to work harder and im not saying its all just physical yep theres psychological reasons too, i was annorexic for a longggggggggg time i really know the back lash, you get picked on if youre fat or skinny so no skinny people dont have their own cheerleaders. i sound mean im not being mean. im not. but wow.

You're such a troll

christy_frank

That is great, but then why would they be on MFP?

Exactly.

UsedToBeHusky

That is great, but then why would they be on MFP?

^This!

_VoV

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

^^THIS.

tonihayden

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

dude.....................this is sooooooo awesome!!
agree 100 percent and thanks for putting out here!

davitalynette

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

YES!

Tangerine302

I guess I don't feel like someone should assume that when someone else is thin it's because it's genetics or they are lucky in some way.

Maybe they should follow that person around for a day and see how much exercise they get. I'm lucky in that I have a pretty fast paced job in that I have to move very quickly non stop. Others may not get that during their day and blame it on someone being lucky. A desk job or something like that doesn't allow normal activity as your exercise. You have to take the time to work out.

I'm just happy for anyone losing weight and trying to get fit. Any size.

aliric

^ this ^

DG_Allen

I find the "genetic roll of the dice people" a little offensive. I'm thin, I'm on MFP. I've been "on a diet" for the last 15 years of my life. That's how I stay thin. I eat well, I exercise. I have the lifestyle that most people on MFP are trying get to (except I don't lift heavy, I don't really care about a ripped body) and I work at it ALL THE TIME.

So, don't assume thin people are just lucky. It takes work, constant work.

Thanks for listening.

SabrinaJL

I definitely agree with you. Just because someone is thin does not neccesarily mean they are healthy. My best friend who isn't heavy at all gets winded going up and down her stairs and she's skinny but she will also admit to being out of shape. Lol
Btw I love your profile pic.

Yep. I walked to the store with my 18 year old daughter yesterday. She's 5'0, 108 lb and a size 4. I had to slow down for her because she couldn't keep up and was out of breath. But i imagine most people who see us together would assume she was the fit, healthy one. Not so much.

_Amy_Budd

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

You are completely right.

I was talking to my parents about some nutritional things that I've learned, and my mom (who has always been thin) was questioning some of it (not in an unsupportive way at all, just a conversational back-and-forth), and my Dad yelled at her - "Don't question her - she's lost over 100 pounds!" - and I said back to him, "How about don't question HER - she never had over 100 pounds to lose!"

amyy902

i mean i just wanted to see if i posted something people would respond, so i just wrote something i heard on TV which is funny because some people have seen this as a serioussss subject and now people are getting all anxsty its quite funny, but has raised a few points for me one being over weight people think they have it so much harder than underwieght or normal weight people - which yes they do im not being mean to over weight people at all by saying this. its just something that came off. and most people would agree, they didnt get overweight by going running everyday or restricting their diets, so yeah they do have to work harder and im not saying its all just physical yep theres psychological reasons too, i was annorexic for a longggggggggg time i really know the back lash, you get picked on if youre fat or skinny so no skinny people dont have their own cheerleaders. i sound mean im not being mean. im not. but wow.

You're such a troll

nah its not about being a troll its about seeing what other people think and how they feel actually because im not saying i did this to spite anyone i think what i may have written didnt come across right, i heard someone say it on TV and i thought thats intresting, im not sure i understand how theyre thinking, so i posted it to see what other people thought so i could try and form an opinion on the matter. i didnt post it thinking anyone would respond at all. but they did. some people posted with a fair perseption others posted very onesided, i didnt post it as a serious i need to know this.

its fact you dont get fat from not eating sensible healthy amounts and doing sensible regular exercise, but you also dont get anorexic by eating proper potions sensibly exercising. so theres two ends of the spectrum and not enough people in the middle.

NoAdditives

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

Actually, personally I think we SHOULD celebrate not just people who come back from addictions, but also those (esp. kids) who consistently make good choices all along.

As a culture, we do a lot of glorifying people in recovery. I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate them, but I think there's also an element of gory "rubbernecking" that we do in listening to their stories. It seems the gorier, the farther down they fell, the more we like to hear about it (as a culture, not necessarily as an individual).

The kid who grew up with a lot of temptation, who stayed in school, who never took drugs, who every day made the decision to keep on a path, we never celebrate that kid, and perhaps we should.

I agree. Just as it's important to recognize those who have never tried drugs, never smoked a cigarette, it's important to recognize those who have always made healthy choices when it comes to food and exercise. I never tried drugs or cigarettes but man how I wish I'd known how to make smart choices about the other aspects of my health! I'm hoping that I'll be able to teach my kids how to eat right, how to stay active throughout their lives, and the importance of avoiding drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol on in moderation.

amyy902

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

You are completely right.

I was talking to my parents about some nutritional things that I've learned, and my mom (who has always been thin) was questioning some of it (not in an unsupportive way at all, just a conversational back-and-forth), and my Dad yelled at her - "Don't question her - she's lost over 100 pounds!" - and I said back to him, "How about don't question HER - she never had over 100 pounds to lose!"

youre right. im the opposite, my mum and i were talking about a girl who was like me and had anorexia and had recovered and become healthy, and im in that process, and she said i was doing amazing and i said, yes but i should never have had to gain 30lbs to be a healthy adult really. i know things are more complex than this, but same wave length diff experience so to speak.

myofibril

That is great, but then why would they be on MFP?

To track their macros? To get healthier? To improve their fitness levels? To engage with other people who are struggling with health related issues? To gain insight into their eating patterns?

Who knows?

Stace5

Yes of course there are some slim people who have lived a healthy lifestyle and always been active, but i don't care what anyone says, there are definitely some 'LUCKY' people!!

My partner doesn't do much exercise, doesn't even have a clue how many calories are in anything and eats what he wants when he wants, yet he's still slimmer and more toned than a hell of a lot of people who put in much more work than him!

Even before i was dieting his family would tell me i don't eat much, yet if i ate what they ate on a daily basis i'm pretty sure i would be a hell of a lot bigger!! Some of us simply can't eat that much without working seriously hard to stay slim.

Meaganandcheese

I think anyone who devotes their time and attention to being healthy deserves to be commended ... whether that means losing weight, gaining weight, or maintaining their natural blessings. I don't think it matters so much what someone was born with, as much as what they do with it.

I respect people who have struggled or continue to do so - there is honor in the effort. I respect people who (seemingly) don't have to try, or have some natural inclination towards health and fitness that I myself have had to learn. The truth is, you never really know what someone has gone through to be where they are. There are people out there who practice portion control, make healthy choices, and are active without giving it much thought - it's just how they are wired. There are people (like me) who have to make those choices more consiously. And still there are others who have it all together on the surface, but internally are struggling with health issues or body image issues, or whatever. You never know what's going on in someone's head, really.

There are lessons to be learned from every perspective, so everyone should have a place to contribute here.

Brandongood

Yawn

amyy902

I think anyone who devotes their time and attention to being healthy deserves to be commended ... whether that means losing weight, gaining weight, or maintaining their natural blessings. I don't think it matters so much what someone was born with, as much as what they do with it.

I respect people who have struggled or continue to do so - there is honor in the effort. I respect people who (seemingly) don't have to try, or have some natural inclination towards health and fitness that I myself have had to learn. The truth is, you never really know what someone has gone through to be where they are. There are people out there who practice portion control, make healthy choices, and are active without giving it much thought - it's just how they are wired. There are people (like me) who have to make those choices more consiously. And still there are others who have it all together on the surface, but internally are struggling with health issues or body image issues, or whatever. You never know what's going on in someone's head, really.

There are lessons to be learned from every perspective, so everyone should have a place to contribute here.

i think this is the right atitude to have.

dahc834

Congratulations! You don't need sites like this one. I think I will go eat a huge brownie sundae and soak my sorrows due to the fact that I need this kind of accountability. Seriously, why post this kind of a statement on MFP?

amyy902

Congratulations! You don't need sites like this one. I think I will go eat a huge brownie sundae and soak my sorrows due to the fact that I need this kind of accountability. Seriously, why post this kind of a statement on MFP?

this site is not just for loosing weight.

monicaroozo

I think congratulations are in order for anyone who lives a healthy lifestyle, no matter how much they weigh. Most evidence points to people practicing healthy habits are healthy,no matter what their size is. And that's something everyone can strive for.

Agreed - & no matter when they start this lifestyle!

MizCJ84

This seems kind of silly to me. I know MANY people who are slim, but I don't go around congratulating them because of how they naturally look. If they put effort into their health, I would absolutely commend them. My sister, for example, is tiny and in my opinion has the perfect body. However, she does nothing to achieve this body. She eats the junkiest food and is way lazier than me. I'm not going to tell her how amazing she is for doing nothing to accomplish her perfect body. Doesn't make any sense to do that. She congratulates me when I lose weight and take steps toward improving my health because I am working very hard at it and she knows that.

FitLink

If someone has never had to diet to lose/gain weight, and is just naturally a good weight, chances are they just have the genes and metabolism, and have done nothing to be that way. So I don't really see a reason to congratulate them for doing nothing except being born lucky. My sister is the perfect example - she has been a good weight her entire life and has never once dieted or counted calories or exercised. She is in perfect health and physical condition. She is just lucky. Myself on the other hand - I've been overweight all my life and I cannot eat a bite of food without possibly gaining weight - we are just completely different - I'm the "unlucky" one so to speak. It isn't as though I've been pigging out and eating 4000 calories a day all my life.

If you are counting calories and or working out 5 times a week, and say "I've never been overweight", guess what.. you are dieting just like the rest of us - only difference is you've just been in maintenance mode. That doesn't make you special.

My SIL is one of those. Eats tons of whatever she wants, never exercises, and was a size 2 her entire life. Actually complained that people "teased her" fo being so "skinny." It wasn't any accomplishment on her part. Now, as she turns fifty, her metabolism has thrown her a curve ball and she went from a 2 to a 14 in about 9 months. She just keeps gaining, though she is eating just as she always has and still not exercising. She rails on and on about the "unfairness" but it's not like she didn't get fifty years of NOT watching it.

TrailRunner61

I have a former skinny 'friend' who put me down for gaining so much weight and even smiled about it when she herself was at one time bigger than me. I used to be envious until I realized how healthy I am now and the fact that she's probably thin because she's a chain smoker and drinks a LOT. That kind of abuse also ages people quicker.

Like some of the previous posters have said, there is a healthy skinny and an unhealthy skinny.

P.S. I can't wait to see her this summer, at the one time I can't avoid running into her, and show off my healthier, thinner body.