im not taking anything away from those who have lost a lot o

LorinaLynn

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

Why doe it have to be an "us vs. them" mentality?

Everyone has struggles. Halle Berry, Elizabeth Hurley, Sandra Bullock have all been cheated on. Rhianna had the crap beat out of her. Yes, they are genetically blessed and have charmed lives where they get paid absurd amounts of money to do something they love, but that doesn't mean that people will automatically treat them better.

I've been skinny. I've been fat. I've had a husband that adored me no matter what I weighed. Being a millionaire would be nice, but I wouldn't trade my love life for it. At least I know my friends and family love me for who I am and aren't using me for my fame or fortune. :laugh:

WhittRak

I am sorry. Who cares?

mommytomyah

LIKE

RunHardBeStrong

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I 100% agree with this. We celebrate recovery more than doing it right in the first place.

Also, lots of hating and bitterness towards folks who are "normal" weight their whole lives. Who are you to judge them? Who are you to assign how or why you think they are able to do so? People wear struggles with being overweight like some sort of badge that makes you superior to those who who are normal weight or under weight. Everyone has their struggle, whether it's something obvious like weight, or something else. And struggling to gain weight is just as challenging as struggling to lose. It's sad to hear people make comments of a superior nature such as you can "run circles around your skinny friends." So you're better now? Big deal? Be proud, get healthy, LOVE YOURSELF, but don't be conceited. Don't be condescending. We're all just people, trying to be and wanting love and acceptance.
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I wasn't being conceited, condescending or think I'm better. I was stating that skinny does not always equal healthy. I don't have bitterness or hate for those that have always been a normal weight. You don't know my story so does that make you just as condescending? Or judgemental, maybe? I'm sorry you mistook my post. It wasn't meant to put anyone down, normal weight, underweight or overweight. You think I wear my weight loss as a badge? Do you know that actually I am embarrassed to admit I ever weighed what I did, I'm embarrassed when someone acknowledges that I've lost 'so much" and I know they are being genuine and kind but it makes me feel horrible for letting myself get to that point and I realize that is my issue not theirs. I don't expect recoginition for what I've done. I do however love recognition for accomplishments such as when I ran I first 5k last fall and came in 3rd, those are things that deserve recognition and congrats. As for becoming overweight, I put myself there and I'm making myself better and I do LOVE MYSELF! Otherwise I wouldn't be busting my *kitten*. The point of my OP was again just because someone is a normal weight does not always mean they are healthy. I do admire and respect those that work for it or have maintained it their whole lives. Our world is full judgements for the obese, underweight and normal weight

ampa916

I think it's more of if they have stayed healthy despite temptations (I.E they are not overweight because they eat whatever whenever, they always watch what they eat etc.) Then I would have to congratulate them. But my husband can eat and eat and lose a lb (I am serious, he only gains weight if he is exercising and lifting weights). He does PT for work but is not very healthy in how he eats. I would never go up to him and say, "You've been small your entire life congrats babe!"

But that's not to say I wouldn't congratulate him on something else, like when he got his two-mile run under 12 1/2 minutes. That was good for him, Or when you could see definition in his arms from his weight lifting. There are other things to congratulate someone on,but if they've been skinny their entire life and didn't put any kind of effort to be that way then no I am not gonna congratulate them

buzzcogs

Yeah naturally fit people do have that "unspoken" advantage. Sometimes they even start their own dating websites and say "no fatties allowed" SO I think we don't have to feel bad not praising them. They usually have a very good self opinion as it is! ;-)
Sort of joking but sort of not!

Leeanne1974

i think its amazing and i couldnt have more respect for people who do it, it takes a lot of strength to overcome your own body etc, but what about those people who have never been overweigt or underweight? surely thats an achievement in the society we live in?

Genes? Ill health? medication? Grief?

I have had all 4. I lost both of my parents in the space of 2 years and 3 days. Not all of us bounce back and go for a run when we experience severe grief. I ate and ate and got comfort. I also have polycystic ovaries. I am on medication that doesn't help my weight at all. My father was a strapping 6ft4 man who, unlike most men, had very heavy set legs and thighs. My mother was a tiny 4ft11 woman who carried weight around her tummy. Ive inherited those traits.

Thin people get all of the recognition going, they get the best parts in films and on television, they can walk into any store and buy clothes. Im not anti naturally slim people at all but there is far more to it than eating healthily. There are emotional reasons and genetic reasons, social reasons and many more as to why people arent naturally slim.
Lets all just be accepting and encouraging to those who have goals to be as healthy as possible eh?

HotCuppaJo

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

^^^^^^^^^^^ This!! Well-said!!!

angiemartin78

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

Very good point. :flowerforyou:

lyddsmom

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

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Actually, personally I think we SHOULD celebrate not just people who come back from addictions, but also those (esp. kids) who consistently make good choices all along.

As a culture, we do a lot of glorifying people in recovery. I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate them, but I think there's also an element of gory "rubbernecking" that we do in listening to their stories. It seems the gorier, the farther down they fell, the more we like to hear about it (as a culture, not necessarily as an individual).

The kid who grew up with a lot of temptation, who stayed in school, who never took drugs, who every day made the decision to keep on a path, we never celebrate that kid, and perhaps we should.

So true. It really does take work to always do the right thing, but I guess this is like the prodigal son. The son who had always been there and been faithful "seemed" overlooked while the son who had squandered his inheritance was celebrated when he lost everything and was humbled and dragged his sorry butt home. But really the faithful son had been blessed all the years the other son was out making a mess of his life. The father was just glad to have his son learn his lesson and come back.

Truth is, I'd rather be like the faithful son who steadily worked hard all his life instead of busting my butt double time today. Yes there are some out there who eat like crap and don't exercise but still look thin, but I know more people who eat a healthy moderate diet and exercise daily. I commend them and hope to be in that category one day.

Elzecat

"I'm not taking anything away from those who have lost a lot of weight."

Hm. Yeah. Whatever.:huh:

All this looks like is bitterness and jealousy. Perhaps the OP did not mean it that way, but...seriously?

:grumble:

Tangerine302

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I agree, I don't feel like there's much luck involved. Portion control and a lot of moving around keep you the same size. As we've all seen on the before and afters. Once a person controls their portions and exercises, look at the results! It may be that the lifestyle wasn't always there until later on, but you can see right before our eyes what works.

We should be all in this together. Eating right and getting fit, no need to cut others down.

Eats_With_A_Fist_Returns

I think anybody who has the wherewithal to take care of themselves, whether it means having a healthy lifestyle while being always skinny, or getting a healthy lifestyle by taking control of themselves should be congratulated. It's easy to sit and be apathetic and lazy. It's hard to put forth the effort to count macros and exercise. It's hard to put yourself out there in a public forum like this. It doesn't matter whether you're fit, and trying to maintain or fat, and trying to lose. Just by being here, in the open you're inviting criticism. I think to some degree, we're all pretty stinking brave for being here, no matter which of us are more right or wrong in what we know or believe.

What I would like to see is for us to be more willing to learn from one another...not necessarily to always get along because that's not possible. But to be willing to see and acknowledge merit in one another, to give credit where it is due, and with all else to avoid or ignore it. Be teachable, be diligent, and work your butt off, because there's no magic pill to make you healthy. And while some people may have more favorable genetics, even genes won't keep the slothful, glutton healthy. (Descends my gilded soapbox.)

reztib

There is something to be said for health aliment and genetics for being overweight but America hasn't gotten heavier for those reasons. As a country we have become less active and being nutritionally irresponsible. That is why the vast majority of this country is overweight. If you analyze the data and look around the world you will see our obesity rate is not because of genetics.

For me, it all clicked when I viewed eating as an addiction. I have been doing that and I just hit the 20 pound mark for weight loss just yesterday. I still have a way to go but right now I am better than I have been in 2 years. If I lose another 7 pounds I will be the lightest I have in almost a decade. Even after that point I still have to lose 30 more pounds for my goal weight. I put myself into this position. Not my genetics, not any health complications, me. An alcoholic can't have just one drink and walk away. People who are recovering alcoholics still have that desire for drinking. Myself, I could have a beer at a bar and then not pick up another drink for another month or two (and have). But with food I have the same type of addiction as an alcoholic. I would love to tear into a fast food joint or grab a bag of chips and dip but I know it will lead to me falling off the track. (Savoring the memory of that delicious food, mmmmm)

I have two you girls (5 and 3) and I am trying to teach them to be active and healthy in their lives. My wife and I serve them their appropriate meals and snacks. After that, if they are still hungry they can pick any fruit or vegetable they want until they feel satisfied. At this age (or really any age for a child) you don't want to be lording over EVERYTHING they eat. That is probably how eating disorders are started. But giving them healthy options is a way to go. We also don't live by the "Clean Plate Club" that I was raised up with.

This post started off fine but there is still a lot of negative attitudes (both sides) about weight loss people vs maintaining people. I look up to people who have remained healthy. I would love to be them and just think of fitness and nutrition as a normal routine in my life like they do. Just because they have never been overweight doesn't mean we should hate on them. I also admire people who are going through a journey like mine. Trying to lose lots of weight and change their fitness and nutrition lifestyle.

lisaap77

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

I couldn't agree more! I am a former "skinny *****". I have ALWAYS been active and healthy and skinny, even after 4 children. Then about 4 yrs ago, I developed Hypothyroid that went undiagnosed for almost 2 1/2 yrs. Now I have to work and HARD to lose and maintain my body! My lifestyle never changed but boy did my body. I gained 50lbs. I'm slowly starting to lose, but it has been a helluva struggle. So coming from someone who has been on both sides of the fence.......Let the struggling have a moment!!

OnceAndFutureAthlete

first of all, i'm new to MFP and i was feeling excited about how supportive and motivating this site is.. UNTIL THIS MOMENT (not yelling, just capitalizing for emphasis )

ok. i'm going to admit, i do not have as long of a journey as most of the people on here because i am not overweight. that doesn't mean i shouldn't be on MFP does it? i'm on here because i really want to eat healthier and learn how to fuel my body with good food. and also to learn about exercise and what works for me. yes, i want to tone up and lose a few pounds, but i don't need to lose 20, 30, 40+ pounds. i physically can't.

my point is, i'm starting to feel dejected by a lot of these comments. i feel like people on here will look at me and say - oh she's skinny, she doesn't need to lose weight or be on here. i don't want to help her. i hope this isn't true..

Don't be discouraged.
MFP is a great place. But just like a lot of places, there's a little bit of everything here.
Read around the boards some more and you'll see and learn to take what helps and ignore the rest.
And good on you for working towards better habits!

lisaap77

I think it's more of if they have stayed healthy despite temptations (I.E they are not overweight because they eat whatever whenever, they always watch what they eat etc.) Then I would have to congratulate them. But my husband can eat and eat and lose a lb (I am serious, he only gains weight if he is exercising and lifting weights). He does PT for work but is not very healthy in how he eats. I would never go up to him and say, "You've been small your entire life congrats babe!"

But that's not to say I wouldn't congratulate him on something else, like when he got his two-mile run under 12 1/2 minutes. That was good for him, Or when you could see definition in his arms from his weight lifting. There are other things to congratulate someone on,but if they've been skinny their entire life and didn't put any kind of effort to be that way then no I am not gonna congratulate them

Oh I know, my hubby eats like sh** and doesn't do an ounce of exercise (outside of his physical job, mine's physical too!) and is ripped, I mean chiseled!! WTF?!?!?! LOL

chrishgt4

There is something to be said for health aliment and genetics for being overweight but America hasn't gotten heavier for those reasons. As a country we have become less active and being nutritionally irresponsible. That is why the vast majority of this country is overweight. If you analyze the data and look around the world you will see our obesity rate is not because of genetics.

For me, it all clicked when I viewed eating as an addiction. I have been doing that and I just hit the 20 pound mark for weight loss just yesterday. I still have a way to go but right now I am better than I have been in 2 years. If I lose another 7 pounds I will be the lightest I have in almost a decade. Even after that point I still have to lose 30 more pounds for my goal weight. I put myself into this position. Not my genetics, not any health complications, me. An alcoholic can't have just one drink and walk away. People who are recovering alcoholics still have that desire for drinking. Myself, I could have a beer at a bar and then not pick up another drink for another month or two (and have). But with food I have the same type of addiction as an alcoholic. I would love to tear into a fast food joint or grab a bag of chips and dip but I know it will lead to me falling off the track. (Savoring the memory of that delicious food, mmmmm)

I have two you girls (5 and 3) and I am trying to teach them to be active and healthy in their lives. My wife and I serve them their appropriate meals and snacks. After that, if they are still hungry they can pick any fruit or vegetable they want until they feel satisfied. At this age (or really any age for a child) you don't want to be lording over EVERYTHING they eat. That is probably how eating disorders are started. But giving them healthy options is a way to go. We also don't live by the "Clean Plate Club" that I was raised up with.

This post started off fine but there is still a lot of negative attitudes (both sides) about weight loss people vs maintaining people. I look up to people who have remained healthy. I would love to be them and just think of fitness and nutrition as a normal routine in my life like they do. Just because they have never been overweight doesn't mean we should hate on them. I also admire people who are going through a journey like mine. Trying to lose lots of weight and change their fitness and nutrition lifestyle.

^^THIS....is the right attitude - and is one of someone will continue to have success.

elysianashes

Hmmm... I think I kind of get what the OP was saying, and a few others have touched on it.

For example, I'm 190lbs right now. My goal weight is 150, and if I am able to lose more that would be awesome too. So let's say I lose those 40lbs, and I'm sure people on here and in my life will be saying, "Wow, 40 pounds, that's amazing, holy cow!" Those big numbers look really good, right?

But 10 years ago, straight out of college, I weighed 110. Too thin for my height tbh (5'5"). Obviously I don't have the genes (at least anymore) that make me skinny no matter what I eat, otherwise I wouldn't be 190 now, right? So let's say after I got out of college, when I eventually hit 125, I thought, "Gee, this is a good weight for me, and it's obviously been going up, so I should probably start being more careful what I eat and how much I work out." I would stay around 125, and even though I would be watching what I ate and running or lifting or whatever, nobody would say, "Hey, good for you for not letting yourself go!" They would just assume that that's how my body is. And when I was at that weight, it was amazing how many people would say, "Well, you can eat whatever you want and it doesn't matter because you're already skinny. I don't see why you're eating a salad." That's kind of what made me end up at 190 to begin with... listening to them and figuring they were right.

I'd be doing the same amount of work in either case, but only get recognition for *losing* the weight. But in the end, it would have been better if I'd started being more careful when I hit 125, not when I hit 190, so that should have deserved a pat on the back too. Does that make sense?

I dunno... that's what I read into it, anyway. I didn't get the feeling she was talking about people who never even have to think about it, they just eat whatever they want and their super-high metabolism takes care of the rest.

mikajoanow

I know a girl that is small, I mean small 5 feet tall 100 pounds has been this small since I have known her. she has never done anything to be that way. She had her daughter and walked outta the hospital in her size 0 jeans. I am not going to say its not good for her. But I myself get a little upset because she seems to think that anyone that isnt that small is HUGE! I am a size 5-7 depending on the type of clothes she compared me to a friend of ours that lost 65 pounds!! she asked me if I had thought about seeking out overweight friend for advice on how to lose the weight! She has no idea what it is like to EARN YOUR BODY so no not everyone deserves a pat on the back for being lucky enough to never have to diet or do anything to look that great!

Sounds like the kind of friend no one needs.

I agree and BTW my mother was always tiny like that (although not obnoxious about it like the girl in this scenario sounds) and when she got older she put on a lot of weight because its very hard to maintain that weight, even harder when you're super small and can not eat as much calories as everyone else. Now she exercises all the time and in her 60's is having a hard time just getting into a size 10.