Messing with complete strangers is such fun
Replies
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Oh bagging...well that makes all the difference in the world.
Judging from HIS response...she sounds about as much of a hoot as you do. I guess humor is genetic.My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.
Actually see was bagging, and he tapped her on the shoulder and said that. It was chilling, really.
*blink*0 -
That is not a joke at all... it is a threat.. and threats are not funny.
My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.0 -
I love to hold doors for complete strangers but make sure they are a distance away just to see them start that awkward run to get to the door. Pretty hillarious and so far everybody has an awkward run when someone is holding the door open for them
LMAO!!! I HATE when people do that!!0 -
I also like to mess with people that ask how my day is... If I'm super spunky I become a smart@$$
My bank teller asked and I said "horrible... My husband left me after I caught.him sleeping around, I lost my job, and now I'm praying you don't tell me I'm over drawn. One more fee from this bank and I might just jump." Tears help. Then I usually pull it together and say "enough about me... How are you?" Their faces are priceless. And truthfully I have gotten a few fees reversed. Lol.0 -
My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.
I think this confirms that someone is lacking a sense of humor. Anyone who would consider this a joke clearly doesn't understand humor.
You know... I was thinking the same thing... why would anyone consider this a joke?0 -
I have gotten on to a crowed elevator, let the doors shut and not turn to face the door. make people uncomfortable. Twice I looked at everyone on the elevator and said "I am sure you are wondering why I have called you all here today" .... that has never gone over as well as I would have liked.
another fun one is to get on a crowded elevator and when people get off don't move to creat more space between you and the person next to you just stand as equally squished....
I also enjoy standing on a quite elevator and looking at the person next to me and say "are you going to answer your phone?!" Most of the time they will check to see if it is, in fact, ringing0 -
BEST form of entertainment ever...0
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because he yelled "GOTCHA!"My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.
I think this confirms that someone is lacking a sense of humor. Anyone who would consider this a joke clearly doesn't understand humor.
You know... I was thinking the same thing... why would anyone consider this a joke?0 -
Two just came to mind.
In a grocery line, I told a cashier I wasn't going to pay for the 2 12-packs of sodas under my cart because I was practicing shoplifting, but I am not very good at it. She stared at me for about 10 seconds not knowing how to respond.
At work my coworkers bought me Brokeback Mountain as a secret Santa gift (inside joke). They also gave me the receipt. When i returned it to BestBuy, she asked me if there was anything wrong. I said [lisp]I am waiting for the unrated version to come out GIRL[/lisp] and gave her a little wink. I could actually HEAR how uncomfortable she was.
I know I am not the only one who derives pleasure out of this, right?
I'm offended! No not by the cashier one, but by the BestBuy one. I have a sister who works at BestBuy, and she's had some really awful customers before! Since you made a joke and involved BestBuy, even though your joke had NOTHING to do with physical harm, I'm going to relate it to an event where my sister felt she was in danger.0 -
because he yelled "GOTCHA!"My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.
I think this confirms that someone is lacking a sense of humor. Anyone who would consider this a joke clearly doesn't understand humor.
You know... I was thinking the same thing... why would anyone consider this a joke?
Ooooh! :indifferent:0 -
These are all too funny!
I love when people ask me if we wear clothes in Africa and if I have a pet lion. I will tell them with a straight face that unfortunately my pet lion died, but I have a pet tiger. (they don't seem to understand that we don't have tigers in Africa) I also tell them that no, we don't wear clothes. That wearing clothes was the biggest adjustment when I moved to the USA. You would be surprised how many people actually think I'm serious.0 -
:laugh: All I know, is this thread is giving me ideas...0
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I have gotten on to a crowed elevator, let the doors shut and not turn to face the door. make people uncomfortable. Twice I looked at everyone on the elevator and said "I am sure you are wondering why I have called you all here today" .... that has never gone over as well as I would have liked.
another fun one is to get on a crowded elevator and when people get off don't move to creat more space between you and the person next to you just stand as equally squished....
I also enjoy standing on a quite elevator and looking at the person next to me and say "are you going to answer your phone?!" Most of the time they will check to see if it is, in fact, ringing
Ha! You better watch that ish. It has gotten a couple of people 'accidentally' pushed by me.0 -
I know Anubis (Brian) has GOT to hit this thread at SOME point?! He is the king of messing with complete strangers!0
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That is not a joke at all... it is a threat.. and threats are not funny.
My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.
I used to think that too, but everyone seems to laugh at my threats. We'll see how hard they're laughing when I am wearing their heads as hats!0 -
I have gotten on to a crowed elevator, let the doors shut and not turn to face the door. make people uncomfortable. Twice I looked at everyone on the elevator and said "I am sure you are wondering why I have called you all here today" .... that has never gone over as well as I would have liked.
The elevators at the building in which I work are notorious for skipping floors, not working, etc. So last week, I was on a pretty crowded one, and the elevator got a bit stuck. I looked around at everyone and told them I was trying to figure out which one I'd eat first if we got stuck for a really long time. That segued into a conversation about who was skinniest & could be boosted up through the ceiling access hatch.0 -
My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Actually see was bagging, and he tapped her on the shoulder and said that. It was chilling, really.
I call BS!!!!!0 -
Two just came to mind.
In a grocery line, I told a cashier I wasn't going to pay for the 2 12-packs of sodas under my cart because I was practicing shoplifting, but I am not very good at it. She stared at me for about 10 seconds not knowing how to respond.
At work my coworkers bought me Brokeback Mountain as a secret Santa gift (inside joke). They also gave me the receipt. When i returned it to BestBuy, she asked me if there was anything wrong. I said [lisp]I am waiting for the unrated version to come out GIRL[/lisp] and gave her a little wink. I could actually HEAR how uncomfortable she was.
I know I am not the only one who derives pleasure out of this, right?
I'm offended! No not by the cashier one, but by the BestBuy one. I have a sister who works at BestBuy, and she's had some really awful customers before! Since you made a joke and involved BestBuy, even though your joke had NOTHING to do with physical harm, I'm going to relate it to an event where my sister felt she was in danger.
LMAO!0 -
When I was a Farmer's Insurance agent, my dad became a district manager. During part of is orientation he toured the regional office. In the underwriting department, he was amused to find two of my letters up on their bulletin board.
The first pertained to an underwriting notice I had gotten asking me if the homeowner's policy should be cancelled because the policy holder had put in a change of mailing address. My response: No, they couldn't fit all the furniture into the Post Office Box, so they decided to keep the house.
The second was in response to a directive from underwriting telling me that a policy holder's policy would be cancelled on renewal due to the increased probability of liability because of the homeowner owning a dog that had bitten a jogger. The poor lady had already had her dog put to sleep and was just devastated and then to have her policy cancelled on top of that seemed pretty harsh. My response: There is no increased possibility of liability due to the policy holder owning a dog that has bitten because she had the dog put to sleep. Corpse to follow for your records.0 -
I was visiting my mother in the hospital last year with two of my daughters (15 and 13). We were the only three in the elevator when a large woman gets on. She stands literally 3 inches in front of my 13 year old facing the door and doesn't move. My daughter started making faces at her behind her back (which was quite close) and we tried very hard not to giggle. Seriously, this lady was definitely invading some personal space. What is even funnier is the size of this lady compared to the size of my daugher. She is about 4'10" and 90lbs. Very little.0
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I am at a loss.Two just came to mind.
In a grocery line, I told a cashier I wasn't going to pay for the 2 12-packs of sodas under my cart because I was practicing shoplifting, but I am not very good at it. She stared at me for about 10 seconds not knowing how to respond.
At work my coworkers bought me Brokeback Mountain as a secret Santa gift (inside joke). They also gave me the receipt. When i returned it to BestBuy, she asked me if there was anything wrong. I said [lisp]I am waiting for the unrated version to come out GIRL[/lisp] and gave her a little wink. I could actually HEAR how uncomfortable she was.
I know I am not the only one who derives pleasure out of this, right?
I'm offended! No not by the cashier one, but by the BestBuy one. I have a sister who works at BestBuy, and she's had some really awful customers before! Since you made a joke and involved BestBuy, even though your joke had NOTHING to do with physical harm, I'm going to relate it to an event where my sister felt she was in danger.
Listen. I am not saying I ever physically threatened people. I didn't feel the need to post the conversation afterwards. Surprisingly there were none who were cringing with fear afterwards.
And absolutely there have been a couple of times my joke went over like a lead balloon.
Regardless i thought is was funny, and as long as I am amused, that all that's really important.
Edit
...and after re-reading...I just might have missed the sarcasm.
Hanging my head.0 -
NONE OF THIS IS FUNNY AND I AM REPORTING YOU ALL!!!!!0
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I went to McD's and ordered a happy meal. I got in my car and got in the drive thru lane and ordered a happy meal. When I got up to the window I said, "Okay, that was one happy meal right?" and handed the happy meal I bought inside to the cashier. Then I drove away. It sounds stupid to me now, but at the time she was literally scratching her head in confusion and I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.
I was speeding and a police officer pulled me over. When he approached my car I turned my head and looked him straight in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir. Do you know why you pulled me over today?" He actually laughed and said no one had ever done that to him before, but I still got a ticket :-(
I was at the hardware store buying paint and the guy behind the counter was mixing paint and checking it, then closing the cans. I stood there for about five minutes waiting my turn and all of the sudden he falls back like somebody punched him and lands on the floor. I asked if he was okay and he said he was. Then he tells me he thought he was grabbing a can of paint and accidentally opened a can of whoop *kitten* instead. I am sure he had done it a thousand times, but it was a new one to me. Got him through the day. I will admit after I saw him do it I did it myself (although it was in the kitchen at home and I told my husband I thought I was opening a can of peas).0 -
My daughter is reading this over my shoulder, and just said all those 'original' jokes you make, she hears 50 times during the day. So, those 'cracked smiles' are forced.
I have a sense of humor. You just aren't funny.
Your daughter seems like the b*tchy cashiers I was talking about.0 -
I was visiting my mother in the hospital last year with two of my daughters (15 and 13). We were the only three in the elevator when a large woman gets on. She stands literally 3 inches in front of my 13 year old facing the door and doesn't move. My daughter started making faces at her behind her back (which was quite close) and we tried very hard not to giggle. Seriously, this lady was definitely invading some personal space. What is even funnier is the size of this lady compared to the size of my daugher. She is about 4'10" and 90lbs. Very little.
Yeah I don't like people in my personal space if they can help it. But I also don't have a problem removing someone from my personal space. *cracks knuckles*0 -
I am at a loss.
Listen. I am not saying I ever physically threatened people. I didn't feel the need to post the conversation afterwards. Surprisingly there were none who were cringing with fear afterwards.
And absolutely there have been a couple of times my joke went over like a lead balloon.
Regardless i thought is was funny, and as long as I am amused, that all that's really important.
Edit
...and after re-reading...I just might have missed the sarcasm.
Hanging my head.
Clowns that miss sarcasm...what is this world coming to? 2012 may truly be the end times
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NONE OF THIS IS FUNNY AND I AM REPORTING YOU ALL!!!!!
Umm I'm a riot! So take that!0 -
When I was a Farmer's Insurance agent, my dad became a district manager. During part of is orientation he toured the regional office. In the underwriting department, he was amused to find two of my letters up on their bulletin board.
The first pertained to an underwriting notice I had gotten asking me if the homeowner's policy should be cancelled because the policy holder had put in a change of mailing address. My response: No, they couldn't fit all the furniture into the Post Office Box, so they decided to keep the house.
The second was in response to a directive from underwriting telling me that a policy holder's policy would be cancelled on renewal due to the increased probability of liability because of the homeowner owning a dog that had bitten a jogger. The poor lady had already had her dog put to sleep and was just devastated and then to have her policy cancelled on top of that seemed pretty harsh. My response: There is no increased possibility of liability due to the policy holder owning a dog that has bitten because she had the dog put to sleep. Corpse to follow for your records.
As a fellow insurance agent, I appreciate these especially 0 -
That is not a joke at all... it is a threat.. and threats are not funny.
My daughter's first day of cashiering, some guy came up to her and said, "You're lucky I don't have my gun. I'd shoot you if I did."
Some jokes aren't funny at all.
I used to think that too, but everyone seems to laugh at my threats. We'll see how hard they're laughing when I am wearing their heads as hats!
Okay...so this guy was random. Just walking by. Looked crazy as a loon, and threatened to shoot my daughter. Haha! Funny. Right. And there was no punchline, either. She feared he might be getting his gun to shoot her and couldn't leave her post. Great. That guy sure made my daughter piss her pants, but not from laughing.0 -
When I was a Farmer's Insurance agent, my dad became a district manager. During part of is orientation he toured the regional office. In the underwriting department, he was amused to find two of my letters up on their bulletin board.
The first pertained to an underwriting notice I had gotten asking me if the homeowner's policy should be cancelled because the policy holder had put in a change of mailing address. My response: No, they couldn't fit all the furniture into the Post Office Box, so they decided to keep the house.
The second was in response to a directive from underwriting telling me that a policy holder's policy would be cancelled on renewal due to the increased probability of liability because of the homeowner owning a dog that had bitten a jogger. The poor lady had already had her dog put to sleep and was just devastated and then to have her policy cancelled on top of that seemed pretty harsh. My response: There is no increased possibility of liability due to the policy holder owning a dog that has bitten because she had the dog put to sleep. Corpse to follow for your records.I went to McD's and ordered a happy meal. I got in my car and got in the drive thru lane and ordered a happy meal. When I got up to the window I said, "Okay, that was one happy meal right?" and handed the happy meal I bought inside to the cashier. Then I drove away. It sounds stupid to me now, but at the time she was literally scratching her head in confusion and I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.
I was speeding and a police officer pulled me over. When he approached my car I turned my head and looked him straight in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir. Do you know why you pulled me over today?" He actually laughed and said no one had ever done that to him before, but I still got a ticket :-(
I was at the hardware store buying paint and the guy behind the counter was mixing paint and checking it, then closing the cans. I stood there for about five minutes waiting my turn and all of the sudden he falls back like somebody punched him and lands on the floor. I asked if he was okay and he said he was. Then he tells me he thought he was grabbing a can of paint and accidentally opened a can of whoop *kitten* instead. I am sure he had done it a thousand times, but it was a new one to me. Got him through the day. I will admit after I saw him do it I did it myself (although it was in the kitchen at home and I told my husband I thought I was opening a can of peas).
These have me in tears right now! I am laughing so hard.... thanks for making my inane workday go by faster.0
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