Kids Are Weird

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  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    "A kangaroo is not licking your hand" (said a zillion times in response to the same nightmare my daughter used to have).
  • MomofAnt
    MomofAnt Posts: 16 Member
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    Dear Son,

    "It's not 'peanuts.' It's penis."
    "Your eyes do not make you look like a girl."
    "A 45-minute long song about a superhero killing a gigantic robot will probably not make it on Broadway, even though the way you act it all out is quite entertaining."
  • Pebbles536
    Pebbles536 Posts: 199
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    I can't breath! :laugh:
  • kristenn1989
    kristenn1989 Posts: 223 Member
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    oh my goodness. I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying!
  • rissadiane
    rissadiane Posts: 355 Member
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    bumppp
  • plushkitten
    plushkitten Posts: 547 Member
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    Not lying, this is a true story of my English teacher
    But her son did not talk till he was 5, and while they were taking a walk at the park he said to her

    "In a past life, I used to walk on the sun."


    O.O


    He went on to be a happy, healthy kid after that. lolol
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    "A kangaroo is not licking your hand" (said a zillion times in response to the same nightmare my daughter used to have).

    Interesting children you have.
  • jhayes28
    jhayes28 Posts: 28 Member
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    My oldest is 5 years old... a few months ago I was telling him he needed to pick his toys up and put them away. His response "I can't mom... My hands are too small!" Not too sure how he put those two together,but it was mightly clever!

    I think this is by far the best thread I have read...laughing sooo hard! :laugh: Thanks to everyone for sharing!
  • nikkiej2012
    nikkiej2012 Posts: 236 Member
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    this is a cute and funny tread...i dont know if it is the strangest but here it goes

    My 5 year old daughter lifts up her shirt to show her ni**les and tummy..what comes out of my mouth is lots of things but i tend to say put your shirt down...also my daughter gives kisses like a dog (which she just licks you like a dog) and i just say kiss me like a human...
  • Shayztar
    Shayztar Posts: 415 Member
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    I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old.

    "Stop kissing each other with your mouth open"
    "There are no elephants in your bed anymore"
    "Never put hot dogs up your nose ever again"
    "For the last time, stop putting your finger in your butt hole"

    And my 2 year old has a dirty sense of humor. Her favorite joke is:

    "Knock knock! Who's there? Bubba has POO on his BUTT!"
    Bubba is her little brother's nickname.

    She also calls my step mom Grandpa, no matter what we tell her.
  • angela2084
    angela2084 Posts: 12 Member
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    My son used to call his overalls overbras and pancakes were pantycakes. He is almost 15 and I still make pantycakes for him a couple times a month. Needless to say, it mortifies him. He's the conservative one in the family.
  • Kaylee_law_123
    Kaylee_law_123 Posts: 450 Member
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    While bra shopping with my 4 year old step son ... "Your things are much bigger than my mommies ... they're huge"

    There was lots of giggles from other change rooms!!!
  • walkwithme1
    walkwithme1 Posts: 492 Member
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    Anytime I have something for my almost 4 year old to do, playing with toys, cleaning up, eating, his response is:

    it's to boring for me.....
    What? How is any of this boring and how does he even know that word?
  • cressievargo
    cressievargo Posts: 392 Member
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    When my oldest was in preschool I picked him up one day, instead of letting him ride the bus home like usual. He was so upset. He actually said, "You ruined my life!"

    He is 7 now and comes up with some of the most bizarre questions / stories.

    Today I was trying to get my 2 yr old to get his shoes. "Get your shoes." "No." (Repeat several times). Me: "You need to stop telling me no. Now go get your shoes". Him: "No no." Then I told him, "We have to go pick up your brother." 2 yr old, "No! He ride bus!" (Which normally he does!) Then I asked "Do you even know how to say yes?" He responds, "Yes!"....
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    Oh yes, and when my son was about five:

    "....and on the 6th day, God created potatoes. It took him that long to come up with a vegetable worth eating."
  • mbw2586
    mbw2586 Posts: 88
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    Anytime I have something for my almost 4 year old to do, playing with toys, cleaning up, eating, his response is:

    it's to boring for me.....
    What? How is any of this boring and how does he even know that word?

    :laugh: :laugh: Our 4 year olds must have attended the same class!
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.

    He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.

    "Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"

    uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.

    No problem.

    To son : where?

    "You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "

    Yes, I said leery....

    "When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"

    Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."

    I shared this with my husband, and we both laughed so hysterically.....only God knows what our son is going to say when he starts talking.....the weirdest thing my mom would say to me: "babies come from a cabbage patch!"
  • sgault11
    sgault11 Posts: 1
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    When my sister was little she use to believe that babies were pooped out!! And then she proceeded to bend over and threw her barbie doll back through her legs... loloololol

    Another favorite of mine that has stuck with me through out the years is this one time we convinced my sister that all Amish males were named Amos!!
  • ummlovelovesyou
    ummlovelovesyou Posts: 1,024 Member
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    lol these are all hilarious :laugh:
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    Bump to read later...the first page cracked me up.

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