Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

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Replies

  • ANeWcRe8N
    ANeWcRe8N Posts: 1,180 Member
    Well I don't believe in religion, but a relationship with Christ I do. I couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone who didn't believe..
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    Well my ex wife was a Christian but of a holiness denomination. They didn't believe in women being allowed to remarry while their husband was alive, so I'm pretty sure she's going to try and have me killed . Also in our pre marriage counseling meeting she had the minister read a scripture pertaining to oral sex not being natural, after telling me all this time she only would do that for her husband. So the answer is HELL no. You can't even be a different denomination than me.
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
    I'm not particularly religious, but was brought up Catholic. I've dated men of different religions, including a Muslim, a born again Christian and a VERY athiest man. To me, religion isn't something of massive importance in a relationship. What is important is that you agree on the main values and beliefs your relationship is built on, and none of my values are to do with religion.

    Saying that, your values and the way you live your life and want your children to live their lives is based on your religion, and if you and the person you're with can't find a compromise which is acceptable for both of you, then maybe that isn't something that would work. I'm not saying you have to compromise, just that if you don't match up on the things that are important and can't, I'd find that a huge issue.

    It can be done, I know a lot of people who have managed to find that middle ground. Either way, good luck with whatever you choose :smile:
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
    I don't think it's coincidence that the stupid streak runs rampant among the religious :P

    I think that's a little uncalled for and a pretty big sweeping generalization, which I think is more rampant among the stupid.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I think the sad trend in this thread is that the devout religious seem to have a problem respecting another person's religion or lack of religion and have no faith in another person to be truly respectful of theirs.
    Respect makes the world go 'round, folks!

    I'm seeing an awful lot of the same thing from both sides.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 708 Member
    Our relationship with god is a personal one. I didn't want or believe in god until the last year or so. People change, but you can't change them. In my marriage, we both started out not believing, or being agnostic. My husband is still agnostic, but he respects my change and I respect him for where he is.
    Going to church is not really a belief, it is a habit. It is a way to have a community, based on beliefs. But each of you, regardless of what you believe; have your own personal relationship with god. If the habit of going to church is important to you and your ex is willing to get on board with that, I would give him a chance if that relationship is still important to you.

    That's very nice. You made me smile. Thank you for putting it down in such a thoughtful way.
  • WhiteCoc0
    WhiteCoc0 Posts: 160 Member
    I am Catholic and my man is Sikh. We respect each others beliefs and found a lot of them are the same. We want to raise our childern with both belief systems, Its hard in other aspects. Ie. Acceptance from others, looking down at us being together, familiy issues etc. But our love is stronger than all of that and we keep at it.

    ^^^^This is how it is supposed to be. No judgement. Amen

    Thank you! xxoo
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
    My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

    Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

    How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!
    No I wouldn't.. the bible warns us not to be unequally yolked with unbelievers.. it's a bad idea. and will only lead to constant strife and bickering. How can two walk together unless they be agreed.. it's not just going to church and talking about God..as a Christian, your beliefs influence everything in your life.. how can you possibly build a life with someone that believes the opposite than you do.. think about holidays, family gatherings, I mean even saying Grace at dinner would turn into a sore subject. also you can't go into a marriage thinking you will change his mind and save him..better that you both go your seperate ways .

    I'd just like to point out that as someone completely not religious, if someone says grace at dinner I have respect for them and their beliefs and it would not cause argument. Also, as far as I know from being raised Catholic, isn't a lot of the belief system around tolerence, respect and helping others? Because I know a lot of non believers who go in for that, including me.

    My family are still Catholic, and I attend family gatherings and holiday events with them, including things like Christmas, which obviously has religious meaning to them. I respect their right to their beliefs, and fully support their right to be active in their faith. I think you're generalising against people who are not religious a little too much here.
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    Exactly. We live under the new covenant that Jesus created with God when he died for our sins. That got rid of the old covenant with all of the Old Testament laws that people love to quote and ask why we don't follow those. And basically all you are supposed to do under Jesus is love your neighbor as yourself and follow him, that's it. When you think about it, most sins/crimes would be eradicated if everyone just loved each other. You wouldn't kill them, wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't steal from them, wouldn't cheat on them, etc.

    And I think love is something that EVERYONE can agree on, regardless of your religion, demonination, beliefs, etc.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 708 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    No fair, when so often Christians will start spouting "Old Testament" judgment as political dogma, i.e., "an eye for an eye" or whatever anti-gay or even anti-Onanism bit they've committed to memory. Often, Christians themselves spout "Mosaic Law" and defend it as an integral part of their faith. It's not surprising folks can't keep it straight when the believers themselves are often of two minds on the matter.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    Exactly. We live under the new covenant that Jesus created with God when he died for our sins. That got rid of the old covenant with all of the Old Testament laws that people love to quote and ask why we don't follow those. And basically all you are supposed to do under Jesus is love your neighbor as yourself and follow him, that's it. When you think about it, most sins/crimes would be eradicated if everyone just loved each other. You wouldn't kill them, wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't steal from them, wouldn't cheat on them, etc.

    And I think love is something that EVERYONE can agree on, regardless of your religion, demonination, beliefs, etc.

    You all do realize the Ten Commandments are in the Old Testament, right?
  • HUGAPUFF
    HUGAPUFF Posts: 15 Member
    Religion is "man trying to gain the approbation of God by man's good deeds or works." Christianity is REALLY NOT a religion. It is actually a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ resulting from faith alone, in Christ alone as the source of eternal life which you are given by grace and not by what you do. The book you call the Bible is the mind of God. Simply going to a "church" with your kids, and engaging in church activities and social life, observing church dogma, is not the spiritual life. A believer in Christ has to learn the truth - and then execute that truth and therefore must have access to accurate teaching from the WORD from a person with the gift of Pastor-Teacher who emphasizes and teaches from the original languages of scripture. In that regard, dealing specifically with your "boyfriend" problem, the WORD of God states, DO NOT MARRY AN UNBELIEVER (do not be yoked together unequally). Marriage is a problem creator, not a problem solver. Don't get married or have children unless you have already attained a true spiritual life based on the truth from the Word of God. If you want the truth and and stay OUT of religion, including today's religious christianity, learn Bible Truth free: order basic Bible studies at "R.B. Thieme Jr. Bible Ministries" from your browser. Get enlightened.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    I don't think it's coincidence that the stupid streak runs rampant among the religious :P

    I think that's a little uncalled for and a pretty big sweeping generalization, which I think is more rampant among the stupid.

    Yes, it is a generalization... and one that I'm comfortable asserting. I've never seen anything like religion to obstruct logical thought. I don't think IQ has anything to do with it... so let me clarify: Religion causes people to disrupt reason & logic.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    No fair, when so often Christians will start spouting "Old Testament" judgment as political dogma, i.e., "an eye for an eye" or whatever anti-gay or even anti-Onanism bit they've committed to memory. Often, Christians themselves spout "Mosaic Law" and defend it as an integral part of their faith. It's not surprising folks can't keep it straight when the believers themselves are often of two minds on the matter.
    She never said there aren't ignorant Christians out there. She said "someone who is ignorant of the bible or Christianity". Please don't assume all Christians know what their religion is all about.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    When christians in general stop using the old testament as their club for beating on gays, and others that don't follow their beliefs, I will accept that you all live under the new covenant brought forth by Christ ;) (who also said judge not, yet there are still many who claim to speak for jesus and god even in this very thread saying who is and is not going to hell)

    There was a picture I saw the other day that was poignant. It was of Jesus speaking to his disciples. He said "judge not" and then one of the disciples said "but what if they are gay or muslim"

    And jesus responds "did I stutter?"
  • TeutonicKnight
    TeutonicKnight Posts: 367 Member
    "God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts."

    If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.


    Nobody on this thread is any better than the next person. God just happens to assist me in losing weight. :)
  • numindan
    numindan Posts: 163 Member
    I think it can work but I'm pretty sure all the ground rules need to be set well in advance. This would involve a significant amount of conversation surrounding what you both believe and what you're willing to allow children to experience.

    That said, my mother is Catholic. My father was Protestant. They're from the auld country (where this religious mix was frequently unheard of back in the day...). My mother dragged us to church every weekend - since she didn't drive, da always took us - and somehow ended up with Agnostic kids. Admittedly, I'm biased but I'm sure we turned out ok and my parents remained madly in love with each other until my father passed away.
  • ANeWcRe8N
    ANeWcRe8N Posts: 1,180 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    Exactly. We live under the new covenant that Jesus created with God when he died for our sins. That got rid of the old covenant with all of the Old Testament laws that people love to quote and ask why we don't follow those. And basically all you are supposed to do under Jesus is love your neighbor as yourself and follow him, that's it. When you think about it, most sins/crimes would be eradicated if everyone just loved each other. You wouldn't kill them, wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't steal from them, wouldn't cheat on them, etc.

    And I think love is something that EVERYONE can agree on, regardless of your religion, demonination, beliefs, etc.

    Exactly!! When He said "It is finished" He meant just that :)
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member


    ???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

    I have met more atheists that know more about the bible than christians... what a stupid statement.

    it's not stupid, you're an atheist, you don't read the Bible. How in the world is that person going to tell me what it says in the Bible?

    There is no need to call me or everyone here stupid.

    Because TRUE atheists, not the one's tryikng to be "cool" read up on religion before they choose to call it BS.
  • vicjam2
    vicjam2 Posts: 22 Member
    i believe what I believe! I never say anyone else's belief is wrong or right b/c I try not to judge! Key word TRY! I dont feel that I could date someone who believes differently than me because I strongly believe what I believe and would want my children to know what I believe! Someone telling me at first no then changing their mind would scare me for the fact that it would be a deal breaker for me later! But honestly it would never get that far b/c Relationships are hard and marriage is harder! Throw kids in the mix and your heart strings pull like they have never been pulled before! If you both have different outlooks on religion and both of you want your child to know your beliefs it could become a problem! You ultimately have to make that decision but I do ask that you think about this! What if you get married and he does change his mind about the children going to church after they are born? Will it wreck your marriage? Are you truly ok with your children not going to church? All the questions you have to think about and decide for yourself regardless of someone else's opinion?
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member

    No fair, when so often Christians will start spouting "Old Testament" judgment as political dogma, i.e., "an eye for an eye" or whatever anti-gay or even anti-Onanism bit they've committed to memory. Often, Christians themselves spout "Mosaic Law" and defend it as an integral part of their faith. It's not surprising folks can't keep it straight when the believers themselves are often of two minds on the matter.

    You realize there are around 38000 registered 'Christian' religions around the world. Not all Christians believe the exact same things, and some of these 'Christian' religions can also be regarded as non-Christian in their beliefs. Please, don't group me in the group of when Christians start spouting. Some of us are much more tolerant than others. Just like with any other belief system or political system, etc.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    it's not stupid, you're an atheist, you don't read the Bible. How in the world is that person going to tell me what it says in the Bible?

    Don't know much about atheists, do you? You might want to educate yourself--I think you'd be pleasantly surprised, and I think the whole world would be a better place if we all learned more about each other and what we embrace and/or reject.


    :drinker: :smooched:
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    Exactly. We live under the new covenant that Jesus created with God when he died for our sins. That got rid of the old covenant with all of the Old Testament laws that people love to quote and ask why we don't follow those. And basically all you are supposed to do under Jesus is love your neighbor as yourself and follow him, that's it. When you think about it, most sins/crimes would be eradicated if everyone just loved each other. You wouldn't kill them, wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't steal from them, wouldn't cheat on them, etc.

    And I think love is something that EVERYONE can agree on, regardless of your religion, demonination, beliefs, etc.

    You all do realize the Ten Commandments are in the Old Testament, right?

    I don't believe I put in my post that the Ten Commandments are anywhere else. Jesus instructs us in the NEW Testament about loving your neighbor. In Matthew, Mark, and Luke.
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
    no
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church.
    And you believe him, that's cute.

    Why do women automatically assume a man is lying to them? No wonder a lot of them do, if that is what's expected of them. Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

    Sheesh. I honestly feel sorry for anyone who feels like this about the opposite sex.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    I don't think it's coincidence that the stupid streak runs rampant among the religious :P

    I think that's a little uncalled for and a pretty big sweeping generalization, which I think is more rampant among the stupid.

    Yes, it is a generalization... and one that I'm comfortable asserting. I've never seen anything like religion to obstruct logical thought. I don't think IQ has anything to do with it... so let me clarify: Religion causes people to disrupt reason & logic.

    I think I love you
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    Exactly. We live under the new covenant that Jesus created with God when he died for our sins. That got rid of the old covenant with all of the Old Testament laws that people love to quote and ask why we don't follow those. And basically all you are supposed to do under Jesus is love your neighbor as yourself and follow him, that's it. When you think about it, most sins/crimes would be eradicated if everyone just loved each other. You wouldn't kill them, wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't steal from them, wouldn't cheat on them, etc.

    And I think love is something that EVERYONE can agree on, regardless of your religion, demonination, beliefs, etc.

    You all do realize the Ten Commandments are in the Old Testament, right?

    I don't believe I put in my post that the Ten Commandments are anywhere else. Jesus instructs us in the NEW Testament about loving your neighbor. In Matthew, Mark, and Luke.

    Then why do so many Christians get up in arms when people want to remove the Ten Commandments from courthouses?
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    When christians in general stop using the old testament as their club for beating on gays, and others that don't follow their beliefs, I will accept that you all live under the new covenant brought forth by Christ ;) (who also said judge not, yet there are still many who claim to speak for jesus and god even in this very thread saying who is and is not going to hell)

    There was a picture I saw the other day that was poignant. It was of Jesus speaking to his disciples. He said "judge not" and then one of the disciples said "but what if they are gay or muslim"

    And jesus responds "did I stutter?"

    This is not Christians...this is society...unfortunately, this the masses still outweigh. Your statement holds proof that society, in general, is still locked in profiling groups, rather than looking the individuals for who they are. And yes, that includes, you. If you want change, step in change and look at every individual as an individual, not just a piece for who they are
  • GB333
    GB333 Posts: 261 Member
    I've not read this whole thread, but to answer the OP -- I am Atheist. When I was single, I would date anyone of any faith - HOWEVER, they had to respect that I did not believe in religion and my opinion would not change. This was usually where the issue was. Once he tried to preach to me or drag me to church, the relationship was over.

    In the end, I married an Agnostic. Would I have married a "Christian?" Perhaps, but really doubtful. I think the fundamental differences in our beliefs would have kept the relationship from getting to that point. I don't know how we would have handled children and church-going if I had ended up with a religious man. I want my (future) kids to decide for themselves, and if they WANT to go, that is fine. But I won't be taking them or telling them they "must" go - and neither will my husband.

    A relationship is a give and take and its all about compromise. If you are really meant to be with someone, you will find a way to make it work. If you both have beliefs that are too strong for you to meet in the middle, then you're not meant to be together.

    If only everyone could have these talks before they get married, perhaps our divorce rate wouldn't be so high! ;)