Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

Julzanne72

Speaking from my own experience, I would say that it is difficult to date someone with no faith if you are a christian. I got married very young, 20, and at the time my faith was of little importance to me, and my husband as well. As I got older, I began to explore my faith, pray more, going to mass regularly(yes, I am catholic) and I grew in my faith, he had little interest in his.(he is lutheran) I have had some very rough times since my marriage, and I beleive that the reason I was able to survive them was through the grace I was given by God. Unfortunately after a few infidelities on my husbands part, I got to a point where I couldn't stay in the marriage and we divorced. I knew after that, for me, that I wanted to be with someone I could share my faith with, this included going to mass together, praying together, discussing our faith. 6 months ago I met someone who is amazing and I can do all of these things with...and for me, this has been a great strength in our relationship.

TeutonicKnight

The way I look at it is this. An atheist has to believe in a higher being in order to refute his (or her) existence. LOL!

Who cares if you are atheist, agnostic, eggtastic, or a yolkist! If you believe in LOVE with that person, everything else will fall into place or your love is not pure to begin with. Religion may make you think differently, but it is not the defining for of the attraction you have for one another.

For the record I am a Catholic and darn proud of it. Does that make me better than a Baptist, atheist, or Jehovah Witness? NOPE. I love you all the same. Who am I to judge others for their free will?

I just feel for the Jews and the Muslims. They cannot eat bacon. This makes me sad. The world is better with bacon.

Christina1007

In my religion, we do not get baptised until later in life when you are considered more mature to make the decision yourself, rather than when you are a baby. Cause a baby has no choice, so why baptise him in the same religion if he can't choose for himself?
The problem lays in the fact that he wants his children baptised from when they are born, which my family will not agree on or will be dissapointed. It is a big big decision that you have to make as a Christian when you are dating someone who's not the same faith as you. Moreso, if they don't have any faith at all.

Have you thought of just having some kind of blessing ceremony for your children? Have them blessed/christened when they are born and then give them the choice to be baptized when they are older? The Greek word "baptizo" means "to immerse, submerge," so I'm sure some sprinkling of water on the baby's head would not count as a baptism in your religion (it wouldn't to me, anyway). It would satisfy your beliefs and his. Just a suggestion!

That is exactly what we are going to do. Give the children a blessing. I think my parents won't oppose that and we also thought of getting married in an Anglican church, not his church, nor mine. I find Anglican churches to match both our beliefs which is great! As long as we believe in the same God, it really doesn't matter what religion you are, that's what I think.

Christina1007

Speaking from my own experience, I would say that it is difficult to date someone with no faith if you are a christian. I got married very young, 20, and at the time my faith was of little importance to me, and my husband as well. As I got older, I began to explore my faith, pray more, going to mass regularly(yes, I am catholic) and I grew in my faith, he had little interest in his.(he is lutheran) I have had some very rough times since my marriage, and I beleive that the reason I was able to survive them was through the grace I was given by God. Unfortunately after a few infidelities on my husbands part, I got to a point where I couldn't stay in the marriage and we divorced. I knew after that, for me, that I wanted to be with someone I could share my faith with, this included going to mass together, praying together, discussing our faith. 6 months ago I met someone who is amazing and I can do all of these things with...and for me, this has been a great strength in our relationship.

It wasn't because he wasn't Christian that he cheated on you. Trust me, I know plenty of Christian guys who do a lot of bad things, cheating included.

rml_16

I just feel for the Jews and the Muslims. They cannot eat bacon. This makes me sad. The world is better with bacon.

Reform Jews eat bacon.

My father's side is Jewish and the funniest thing ever was when my grandfather asked a waitress at my aunt's wedding reception if the shrimp was kosher and she said she'd ask the chef. :-)

penrbrown

My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

For me religion isn't just something I believe but it's a way of life and someone who doesn't share that way of life just wouldn't be compatible.

That said, in your situation, I would strongly consider what your future is going to look like if he decides later to change his tune again. What then?

Don't let love cloud your vision.

cllovesdw4eva

Dating...sure. I like diversity and its always fascinating to me to experience different beliefs, styles, customs. But by the time we are talking about anything beyond dating - we have to be on the same SPIRITUAL accord, whether are belief systems are different or not. I dated a Buddhist, and I accepted and embraced her chanting practices and her diligence with her faith, but mine still had many holes in it...and we werent able to address anything from a spiritual perspective. After Ive married a strong devout woman of God who wouldnt have it any other way, I can honestly say that there I dont see how a marriage could thrive being solely dependent on the world for solutions.

Pfauxmeh

To answer the question, no.

I simply could not compromise my beliefs for someone else because we wouldn't share the same values. My husband is agnostic and I am atheist. The only thing separating us is that he somewhat thinks something or someone created us and I don't.

You should find someone who truly believes in religion as adamantly as you do, who is willing to attend church, sing hymns and read the bible.

Another tip: sometimes, love is not enough. I learned that the hard way.

OLFATUG

I was raised as Catholic, but cam to Atheism on my own. God makes as much sense to me as Santa Claus. When I met my wife 15 years ago she 'converted' me to Agnosticism. Her logic was without fault, which is why I love her. "Belief in God requires just as much faith as belief in 'no God', If you value logic above all else there is no room for faith."

My wife's mother and my mother are Catholic, my father-in-law is a Protestant. We have decided to raise our children (roughly 7 and 2) to make their own decisions about how they feel.

netchik

If you love each other it shouldn't matter. Religion is a man-made thing, faith is different. Your children aren't born with religion tatooed on their soul, they learn it from their parents, godparents and school, and it's responsible to allow them to make their own choices once they understand what their options are.

Has he ever stopped you going to church? Have you ever forced him to go? If you two can't agree, then fine, but if you've never forced each other, then religion is NOT a reason to split up.

WhittRak

I feel a mutual understanding must be established at the start of a relationship. My husband is Catholic, and I am Episcopal. And we have all our ducks in a row, and did before we got married. What is good for one couple, may not be for another.

Christina1007

It is not "sad" that someone may not believe in what you do.

I will be praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for you, that he may illuminate you with his noodly appendages and tomatoey goodness.

Lol, thanks! Hope it was a joke and was not intended as rude!

TinkrBelz

I'm an Athiest and would prefer to date Athiests and Agnostics. Blind faith is just not something I can be intimate with as a woman of science.

I wouldn't want my kids to go to church unless I'd educated them about all the different ideas about the origin of the universe and they personally decided to explore that religion.

First off, just because someone believes in God does not mean that they do not believe in science. There are scientists that believe in God and there are educated people that believe in God as well. I am married to a university professor with his PhD and he believes in God.

Now back to the question. I think iti would be difficult to marry someone of a different faith. Not impossible, but I think it would add a lot of difficulty. Mostly when it comes to children. If you believe in God, you will want your children to believe in God. If you are an Atheist, then most likely, you think that people that believe in God believe in fairies and are weak minded, so you do not want your children to fall into that weak trap. If you are Jewish, would you want your children to believe in Jesus?

Religion, whether it is a strong belief or a lack is very deep rooted in us. It is our core on who we are, where we come from, and where will we go.

Just as political viewpoints can be a problem (you want your kids to be conservative and your spouse wants them to be liberal) or you eat differently, you think eating animals is wrong, but your spouse eats meat and likes to fix your kids burgers on the grill.

Those are just some other things that people really need to consider when they are planning on spending the rest of their life with someone and they are planning on having children.


I have a lot of friends that are Atheist, Agnostic, Liberal...I have no problem with what they believe, we agree to disagree. But being a friend is totally different than spending your life with someone and having children together. In a friendship, you can still be two individual people, but when we are married we are to become one...this is a lot easier to do if most of your beliefs are the same...it is difficult if a lot of your beliefs are different. (I need to add, becoming one does not mean you lose your identity or your individuality, it just means that you are on the same track and of the same mind of your future together)

967_1111

As a born-again Christian, I dated only others with the same belief, and married a fellow believer. My faith was more important to me than anything, and that extended to my wife.

Since we both hold the same beliefs and values, there are no issues with what we teach our child.

You must decide the rank order of importance of what you believe, and how to apply it to your dating life.

Pfauxmeh

It is not "sad" that someone may not believe in what you do.

I will be praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for you, that he may illuminate you with his noodly appendages and tomatoey goodness.

Pastafarians UNITE.

macpatti

Dating someone with a different religion and marrying/raising children with someone who has a different religion are two very different situations. I would find it difficult to be married to someone who was not a Christian. It would be difficult for me to raise my children the way I want if their father and I were not on the same page regarding our faith.

Wouldn't it be nice if people could give their opinions here without bashing/ridiculing others' beliefs or lack of them? Good grief.

igora_soma

I have dated men of many different religions, in the end they have to be mature enough to know what they want. I really recommend being with a man who will support and want your children to go to church like you do. It means you'll be more solid in your belief system with your children. I agree with a woman who said that if you do have children with him - they should know their father's beliefs too.

My current bf is Hindu and I share the same beliefs - we both agreed we would raise our children with those beliefs and morales, but we would also educate them in other religions and let them choose.

Basically do what makes you happy and empowers you

jesusHchris

Every religion is equally silly, so it doesn't really bother me if I date someone who believes in talking bushes or the Easter bunny or whatever floats their boat.

I could see it as being an issue in the long term, though. The majority of Americans who are casually religious in the "well, I guess it couldn't hurt" sense aren't all that bad, but the devout tend to have that really annoying habit of wanting to convert you. Off your high horses, wackos, there's no god that is going to throw someone in a pit of fire for eternity for not agreeing with you.

ColCul

I am catholic, my husband of 13 years is agnostic. He was not raised in any organized religion. So far my children are being raised catholic as was agreed upon before we got married. His thinking was that religion was more important to me than to him, so he was willing to let me be in charge in that area.

It is not without issue in our marriage, but we work through the issues.

My1985Freckles

I am Catholic and my boyfriend is Atheist. I have no plans on letting him go because his belief isn't who he is or how he defines himself, and the same with me. I believe in raising children to make their own educated choices about religion rather than forcing one on them when they are too young to make a choice!

The first guy I dated was a Catholic. He was not overly religious, but he went to church every week because if he didn't he was going to hell. It was difficult for me to date him. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be with someone who didn't have the same beliefs that I did, but I thought I could convert him.

I am a born-again believer, have been since I was 7 years old. It most definitely Defines me. I do NOT have a religion, I have a very deep personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without HIM, I am nothing. HE Defines ME.

My husband is also a born-again believer. Christ defines him as well. We would not be married if that were not the case.

The Bible is VERY clear on this subject. If you are in fact a Christian, you are NOT to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.