Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

Emabo

I guess if a guy had those kinds of feelings towards it that wouldn't create too much conflict. I guess I should rewrite that as "I would not date an atheist that would not allow my child to go to church and be baptized. I would especially not date an atheist who was intolerant towards religion." If I met two great guys though, I would choose the religious one over the atheist more than likely.

gooiyw

My husband believes in the power of prayer but I don't. So I guess you can call me agnostic. Or maybe I'm not, I'm not really sure. I believe in spiritual strength, just not a deity that pronounces judgement at the end of days based on moral values of a particular civilisation. But I also observe that some may find comfort and strength from believing in the literal or figurative teachings of a religion (with the occasional mad fundamentalist).

So as my children are too young to fully comprehend the concept of God, I do tell them that,"Some people believe that... " or "They pray to God". I have no issues with that sort of explanation. But when my kids asked me "What is God?", I must admit I do a chicken-egg twist with them. I tell them,"God is who they're praying to." If they grow up believing in a God in a biblical or Koranic or multi-deistic sense, that would be fine. It will be where they'll tap their spiritual strength. Or if they grow up to not believe in a God in that way, I am equally fine with it. I don't stop my more "religious" husband from teaching them what he believes in, because I think the world could use with some lessons in kindness, forgiveness and compassion, whatever form they come in.

gentsevetzak

Anyone dumb enough to believe in any kind of deity is not for me.

shine_

As an atheist I really doubt I would ever be able to be in a serious relationship, or probably even date, someone religious. If I had kids I would certainly be against them going to church (etc.) until they're old enough to make an informed decision on their own.

If it works then it works, great, but I can only imagine the strain it must put on things, and in a relationship it must feel weird to not be able to understand something so fundamental about the other person. I wouldn't want that for myself, personally.

TinnedTuna

each to there own

HeidiMightyRawr

It depends on how religious they are. I'm an atheist and couldn't really imagine dating someone who follows a particular religion.

However, I don't care what they believe in as long as I'm not expected to follow it, convert, and I wouldn't want our children to be expected to follow the religion either. When they're old enough, I don't have an issue with him explaining his beliefs to them, and the same for me, then they can make their own mind up If that means following his religion that is fine, as long as it's their own choice.

In real life though, that doesn't happen often. That's the main reason why I dislike religion as a whole, because there is so much conflict over who's right, who's wrong, what your offspring / spouse must follow, the guidelines that you must follow as part of the religion. I just think people should believe in whatever they want, and let other people do the same, whether that's a set religion, a mixture of several or just their own values/beliefs.

Miss_dannii

I'm from a catholic family but I don't practice religion really, I mean I'd go to a church for a wedding/baptism etc but have never gone to mass for the sake of going. It's never been pushed on me and I just haven't ever been a really holy person

So I don't think it would bother me to date someone of a different religion as long as they weren't gonna push their religion on me!

TheRoadDog

First wife was Jewish. Second wife was Catholic. Third wife was New Age Christian. Jan was raised Mormon and I was raised Catholic.

Religion is not an issue.

fteale

I would find it very hard to date someone with radically different beliefs or not to me. I find evangelicals of any religion scary. In 15 years together my husband and I have never really discussed religion, but perhaps that's just because it isn't a big deal to either of us.

PepeGreggerton

Not an issue for me, to each their own.

Dauntlessness

I think its a simple answer honestly. What are your "deal breakers"? What are you not willing to change about yourself?

Personally, religion would be one of mine if I were you. That is who you are and what you live for.

If you grew up going to church two times a week and you still live for God everyday first and foremost, how is that going to impact your relationship? If you put a deity that he doesn't even believe in before him, is he going to get resentful? If you have a whole community surrounding you and your children that doesn't involve him, how is that going to impact the way you live? Having both of you on the same page is an important part of being stable parents, is that going to confuse the kids? I know people make it work following two separate religions all the time but...they are the exception. It takes lots of hard work and lots of patience with each other. Saying that, for someone who doesn't believe at all, it would be very confusing to the kids. At least with other religions it usually teaches similar values, but having "all or nothing" beliefs could leave the kids choosing sides and that's just not fair to them.

edited:
I mean, all it takes is "Dad is not going to church, why do I have to"? That leads into a big dilemma. Respect his beliefs and let the children stay home, or make them come and dismiss what he wants.

That's my tid bit

rbn_held

I always said I wouldn't date outside of the Catholic religion, but ended up in a relationship with someone who doesn't follow any religion. It bothered me when we first started dated but am ok with it now. It shouldn't matter what religion he is as long as he doesn't disrespect my religion or try to get me to change religions.

ItsCasey

Depends on what you mean by "different." Someone of a different denomination of Christianity (I am Baptist)? Yes, I would date and consider marrying him. A non-Christian? No. Christians (Protestants, anyway) believe that the Holy Bible is the one and only source of authority for the Church. The Bible is clear about not being "unequally yoked with unbelievers" and also that the man is the spiritual leader of the home. As such, it would be pretty hypocritical of me, as someone who believes completely in God's Word, to be with a non-Christian man.

rml_16

My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

I haven't read all the responses. I just wanted to respond directly to you.

I think this is a VERY personal decision and what others would do isn't relevant. When children aren't involved, I think this is a very different and less important issue (assuming that both parties respect each other's beliefs and don't say derogatory things or criticize). But then again, if it's important to you to have a partner who shares religion with you (participates in church, for example), then that is the type of person you should be with.

And if it's important to you to raise your children with your religion, then any man who truly loves you will respect that. He will either agree to it or let you find someone who will. Sometimes love means letting go so the person you love can be happy.

Good luck with whatever you do. I don't know this man or how he will behave. It's certainly a conversation you need to have and maybe, if you're seriously thinking of marriage, see a counselor who can help you both communicate exactly what you expect from each other.

I'm not Christian. Honestly, I'm not sure what I am. But I wouldn't leave the room or be bothered by a discussion about God happening in front of me. I think someone who feels the need to belittle it is probably more afraid of it than he or she wants to admit. Someone content with his own beliefs (or non-beliefs) shouldn't have a problem with it.

fbmandy55

Religion is not my highest priority in a partner. My BF is getting ready to move in and we haven't talked much about it. But as in everything else we have different opinions on, we find a way to agree or agree to disagree. Our relationship is solid and easy going because we are both willing to give and take.

If you love the person, you will find a way to make it work. And let your kids decide on their own what they want to believe, I hate when people force atheism OR Christianity on kids. Or any belief or opinion for that matter.

ArroganceInStep

My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

A lot of it comes down to how strong your beliefs are and how strong his beliefs are. If you can both compromise a little it shouldn't be a problem, but if not it may be an issue.

coe28

To me, being agnostic/borderline atheist (if something's up there, it doesn't like me very much), I never wanted to date someone I would consider 'highly' religious. To me, insistance that my children go to church would be out of line. Should they decide to without parental influence then that's fine by me, but Sundays to me are a family day and that family doesn't include a deity.

There is too much potential for conflict, especially if one side is very commited to one religion and the other to another viewpoint, and especially in the case of children where both parents would want what they think/believe is best for them.

^^^ this 100%

TeutonicKnight

My wife and I have religious differences. She thinks she God, and I disagree.

Elizabeth_M

Yes, I would have, but I didn't. Only because HE never wanted to take things further because I wasn't Jewish. He wanted the Jewish wife and kids, which is fine. He couldn't deny his attraction to me, though, and kept making me confused as hell about it so I ended our friendship/flirtation. He wanted to continue, but I couldn't take all his innuendos, denying there was anything going on, and then when confronted with it, said that he couldn't do anything about it.

I'm a Christian (not practicing, never have - celebrate Easter, Christmas, etc - only as tradition, not because of the religious aspect to it) and married a Catholic. He would like to Christen our children, I am fine with it, although I am not myself. Whatever makes him happy and is not to the detriment of our children, I am ok.

As long as two people love each other and can work with the so-called 'differences' in their beliefs, then I think that it should all work out, but maybe I am being too idealistic. If someone is unwilling to compromise however, such as not letting their children go to church, when it's important to you, then that's something different.I know plenty of people in mixed religion relationships, and they are thriving.

auticus

I don't have a religion. I don't care what her religion is. The problem comes when she tries to conform me to her religion. I don't want a religion. If you try to make me religious, we will not be together.