Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

Hoakiebs

I am Catholic and my boyfriend is Atheist. I have no plans on letting him go because his belief isn't who he is or how he defines himself, and the same with me. I believe in raising children to make their own educated choices about religion rather than forcing one on them when they are too young to make a choice!

The first guy I dated was a Catholic. He was not overly religious, but he went to church every week because if he didn't he was going to hell. It was difficult for me to date him. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be with someone who didn't have the same beliefs that I did, but I thought I could convert him.

I am a born-again believer, have been since I was 7 years old. It most definitely Defines me. I do NOT have a religion, I have a very deep personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without HIM, I am nothing. HE Defines ME.

My husband is also a born-again believer. Christ defines him as well. We would not be married if that were not the case.

The Bible is VERY clear on this subject. If you are in fact a Christian, you are NOT to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?

BigDaddyBRC

Wow. I was going to say it didn't matter to me, but I guess it would.

I'm athiest so I don't think I could date a believer. But then again, I wouldn't think a believer could date me either. If we were just different religions, I could say the potato potato thing, but i don't think someone could date me when i say there is no such thing as either. (and vice versa)

I think that it comes down to the individual and their beliefs. more than just believing or not. More an more people have a "spiritual" acknowledgement, but dont go to "church" because of the fire and brimstone attitudes.

Love is of the heart and soul. When you truly love someone, you love EVERYTHING that makes them who they are. Not just pieces to their puzzle. You dont have to like pieces, but you do love the person. Why allow something such as a belief be a deterrence for what could be the greatest experience in your life....sharing your journey with another in love?

Christina1007

I am Catholic and my boyfriend is Atheist. I have no plans on letting him go because his belief isn't who he is or how he defines himself, and the same with me. I believe in raising children to make their own educated choices about religion rather than forcing one on them when they are too young to make a choice!

The first guy I dated was a Catholic. He was not overly religious, but he went to church every week because if he didn't he was going to hell. It was difficult for me to date him. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be with someone who didn't have the same beliefs that I did, but I thought I could convert him.

I am a born-again believer, have been since I was 7 years old. It most definitely Defines me. I do NOT have a religion, I have a very deep personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without HIM, I am nothing. HE Defines ME.

My husband is also a born-again believer. Christ defines him as well. We would not be married if that were not the case.

The Bible is VERY clear on this subject. If you are in fact a Christian, you are NOT to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

AmberJslimsAWAY

I don't care about religion... like at all

macpatti

According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?

I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

Carrot1971

I am a Catholic as is my husband. Its how we chose to worship the Lord. Its our choice. That being said, I absolutely acknowledge I am a much better Christian than I am a Catholic if that makes sense. I can tolerate religious differences to a point. My nephew was raised Catholic his entire life and converted to be an Evangelist. I'm not sure what Kool Aid he drank but he started preaching to me that I was going to hell because I am Catholic. That MY religion was WRONG and ANTI Christian. I will not get into the arguement here but suffice it to say I was offended. My oldest daughter is dating a Protestant. I have no issue with that. He is a good kid and goes to church regularly. Not that going to church matters to me, honestly. Its about your actions. He treats my daughter with RESPECT. They find common links in their religion and talk about those...not the differences. I think thats the difference. People forget we are ALL CHILDREN OF GOD! Whether you believe in God or not, we are still all HUMAN BEINGS.

AmberJslimsAWAY

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

I have met more atheists that know more about the bible than christians... what a stupid statement.

Espressocycle

Would you two be able to compromise on someting like United Church of Christ, Society of Friends or some other non-doctrinal church?

JennieAL

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

I have met more atheists that know more about the bible than christians... what a stupid statement.

I don't think it's coincidence that the stupid streak runs rampant among the religious :P

Christina1007

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

I have met more atheists that know more about the bible than christians... what a stupid statement.

it's not stupid, you're an atheist, you don't read the Bible. How in the world is that person going to tell me what it says in the Bible?

There is no need to call me or everyone here stupid.

liljgrafix

Everyone has their own enterpratation of religion. I am a baptist and im dating a hindu. yes it is shunned by some people but i believe love should be of who the person is. not what they were raised to believe

WhiteCoc0

I am Catholic and my man is Sikh. We respect each others beliefs and found a lot of them are the same. We want to raise our childern with both belief systems, Its hard in other aspects. Ie. Acceptance from others, looking down at us being together, familiy issues etc. But our love is stronger than all of that and we keep at it.

leogirl724

Seeing as how the Man is supposed to be the Leader...I'd say he's not the one...
My ex was wearing a John 3:16 shirt on our first date...*swoon

4 years later...he refuses to go to church, read the Bible and hates it when he sees me do it....troubling to say the least.

Thriceshy

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

Are you SERIOUS? I'm an atheist, and of COURSE I've read the Bible--repeatedly, cover to cover, Old and New! How do you think I know not to believe it? I've also read the Quran, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, the Book of Mormon, various Taoist books, and fair number of others. Haven't YOU? How else to know what you think is true and what you think is false?

An atheist is someone who does not embrace a belief in a deity. That's all. It doesn't mean "not supposed to care about religion" or "doesn't get to talk about religion" or "doesn't get to educate him or herself about religion." It just means we lack belief in a deity. You'll find most atheists know a LOT about religion--that's how we know it's not our thing.

_snw_

Wow. I was going to say it didn't matter to me, but I guess it would.

I'm athiest so I don't think I could date a believer. But then again, I wouldn't think a believer could date me either. If we were just different religions, I could say the potato potato thing, but i don't think someone could date me when i say there is no such thing as either. (and vice versa)

I think that it comes down to the individual and their beliefs. more than just believing or not. More an more people have a "spiritual" acknowledgement, but dont go to "church" because of the fire and brimstone attitudes.

Love is of the heart and soul. When you truly love someone, you love EVERYTHING that makes them who they are. Not just pieces to their puzzle. You dont have to like pieces, but you do love the person. Why allow something such as a belief be a deterrence for what could be the greatest experience in your life....sharing your journey with another in love?

its just too much of a fundamental issue with me. trying to make a point here without offending ... but it'd be a dealbreaker for me. I dont think i could get past the fact someone believes in what ~i~ think is an imaginary friend.

vim_n_vigor

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

Atheists don't believe there are deities by definition, not that they don't care that there are deities.
Agnostics believe that there is no way to know if there are deities and that we can't know if any religions are truthful.

None of this means that an Atheist or and Agnostic can't read or study the Bible. I am not Muslim, yet I have read a great deal of the Koran. I am not Catholic, yet I have learned the Rosary and studied the Saints and Catholic history.

ajfrench

I think it would be extremely difficult to date someone of another religion or someone who is agnostic. My daily life is affected by my Christian beliefs, so dating someone who doesn't make choices in the same manner would affect our relationship.

Thriceshy

it's not stupid, you're an atheist, you don't read the Bible. How in the world is that person going to tell me what it says in the Bible?

Don't know much about atheists, do you? You might want to educate yourself--I think you'd be pleasantly surprised, and I think the whole world would be a better place if we all learned more about each other and what we embrace and/or reject.

BellydanceBliss

I would. That is me though. Before you make any decisions either way read The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie OMartian

My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

OLFATUG

An atheist is someone who does not embrace a belief in a deity. That's all. It doesn't mean "not supposed to care about religion" or "doesn't get to talk about religion" or "doesn't get to educate him or herself about religion." It just means we lack belief in a deity. You'll find most atheists know a LOT about religion--that's how we know it's not our thing.

Thriceshy

I think it would be extremely difficult to date someone of another religion or someone who is agnostic. My daily life is affected by my Christian beliefs, so dating someone who doesn't make choices in the same manner would affect our relationship.

I think this is the case for many, including myself, inversely. I like the thought and the fairness you've put into this--it's not a judgment call, it's just a statement of fact, and you seem to have considered it well.

auticus

I am Catholic and my boyfriend is Atheist. I have no plans on letting him go because his belief isn't who he is or how he defines himself, and the same with me. I believe in raising children to make their own educated choices about religion rather than forcing one on them when they are too young to make a choice!

The first guy I dated was a Catholic. He was not overly religious, but he went to church every week because if he didn't he was going to hell. It was difficult for me to date him. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be with someone who didn't have the same beliefs that I did, but I thought I could convert him.

I am a born-again believer, have been since I was 7 years old. It most definitely Defines me. I do NOT have a religion, I have a very deep personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without HIM, I am nothing. HE Defines ME.

My husband is also a born-again believer. Christ defines him as well. We would not be married if that were not the case.

The Bible is VERY clear on this subject. If you are in fact a Christian, you are NOT to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?

???!?!!?I thought you were an atheist, meaning you're not supposed to care about religion, how do you know these "things" said in the Bible? Which Bible!!!??!!?

Being an athiest does not mean one does not know about religion. It means that they reject it. A person can be an athiest and still know all about the bible. Just like there are a very large number of religious christians who don't know much about the bible, just what they were told.

The bible says a lot of things. Killing non-believers is one of them. Taking slaves is another. There are a lot of things in the bible that the bible says you should do that no one does. One of my issues with the bible is that people pick and choose what they will do and ignore the stuff they don't want to.

Catholics, for example, split up the ten commandments to remove the portions of the graven images. (I was a catholic for a long long time)

The book has also been retranslated several dozen times over, many times for political purposes, which further makes it hard to follow exact.

"Thou shalt not suffer the witch to live" used to read "thou shalt not suffer the sorcerer to live", and a sorcerer was not a person who practiced magic (neither was a witch really), but rather a poisoner or a murderer. "Thou shalt not suffer the poisoner or murderer to live" gives a whole new meaning to that passage. It was changed to witch for political reasons (drive the pagans out of brittania).

FYI Witch means "wise woman". Medicine woman. The same as a native american shaman.

This is just another example. There is a list.

By the by I'm not bashing your or anyone's religion. You are free to believe as you will as am I. I get ruffled when I read people writing or hear them speaking for god and claiming to know his will (one of the reasons I find religion absurd is that everyone is bickering over which version of god is the right one and many people would be fervent believers of an opposite religion had they been born in that region where it was taught to them as children) and basing it off of a book that is followed partially yet quoted often (how many actually know you should kill your enemies, take slaves, and kill your children if they mouth off?)

Especially fun when you realize the jewish, christian, and muslim religions all basically have the same old testament but fight over which ones are the true right ones and which ones are the infidels/non believers.

bhalter

I was reading through this thread and there were some interesting points, but I guess the issue I get stuck on is the labeling. I was born Catholic, lived in the so-called Holy Land, and studied religious conflict and extremism. As a result of my experiences, I have found myself moving away from organized religion, but I do have fundamental beliefs about how a good person should live, and these I've cherry-picked from all of the major religions. :flowerforyou: Maybe you could have a conversation with your ex about the fundamentals of your beliefs? Yes, church is important, but maybe what he needs to hear is why it's important to you. And if he can explain to you what his fundamentals for moral and ethical behavior are maybe you can find common ground. I wish you the best!

I agree with this. I do not like religion and labeling and it was many years before I was able to realize that these things are different than faith and your belief in God. I've finally found a church and friends who don't care about the religious aspect and try to just live in the "love others" aspect and try to be good people. That's what I want, and that's what is important to me. Not religion, not who goes to what church, not labeling myself. I try daily to be a good person, uphold the Bible's teachings, and love others. Not that I'm perfect, emphasis on the TRY. I think it's more important to raise children with morals and beliefs instead of religious labels and teach them to be tolerant of everyone. Jesus hung out with sinners and prostitutes...who are we to judge a person based on the label we've put on them? I'd rather my children grow up with a solid foundation of love, morals, and beliefs and then find their own church based on that.

angiesteele

I dont think you could ever have a healthy relationship unless you are both of the same religion.

BellydanceBliss

I am Catholic and my man is Sikh. We respect each others beliefs and found a lot of them are the same. We want to raise our childern with both belief systems, Its hard in other aspects. Ie. Acceptance from others, looking down at us being together, familiy issues etc. But our love is stronger than all of that and we keep at it.

^^^^This is how it is supposed to be. No judgement. Amen

momof8munchkins

My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

No I wouldn't.. the bible warns us not to be unequally yolked with unbelievers.. it's a bad idea. and will only lead to constant strife and bickering. How can two walk together unless they be agreed.. it's not just going to church and talking about God..as a Christian, your beliefs influence everything in your life.. how can you possibly build a life with someone that believes the opposite than you do.. think about holidays, family gatherings, I mean even saying Grace at dinner would turn into a sore subject. also you can't go into a marriage thinking you will change his mind and save him..better that you both go your seperate ways .

neddoh

I think the sad trend in this thread is that the devout religious seem to have a problem respecting another person's religion or lack of religion and have no faith in another person to be truly respectful of theirs.
Respect makes the world go 'round, folks!

soccerella

Ugh.....this has turned from a serious question to intolerant-name calling as usual

Just gonna wait and see how long it takes for this topic to be locked

iCACTUS

I could care less what others believe. I was born Catholic & forced to go to church every week, do CCD, communion, confirmation, the whole nine yards. I loathed it and grew to resent the religion as I got older. So full of hate and judgement. When I was 13 I finally said enough is enough and began to explore religion on my own. I came to find that I do not believe in a God. I believe EVERYONE is the God or Goddess of their world. YOU are God, more or less. In all honesty I am not judgmental about what anyone believes. If I ever plan to have children I am going to let them approach the topic of religion on their own, let them explore it at their leisure & find out what they wish to believe without any influence from me. I am going to do for my children what I wished was done with me. It is a little sad to me that you would turn someone away who loves you because they believe in something different. I mean no offense. To each his/her own.

jmehere

Our relationship with god is a personal one. I didn't want or believe in god until the last year or so. People change, but you can't change them. In my marriage, we both started out not believing, or being agnostic. My husband is still agnostic, but he respects my change and I respect him for where he is.
Going to church is not really a belief, it is a habit. It is a way to have a community, based on beliefs. But each of you, regardless of what you believe; have your own personal relationship with god. If the habit of going to church is important to you and your ex is willing to get on board with that, I would give him a chance if that relationship is still important to you.