Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

xHelloQuincyx

lololololol

clydethecat

my husband and i feel basically the same about religion. it does not appeal to us in the least. his mother is a devout christian and was so sad we didnt get married in her church. (we got married on an aircraft carrier,and a friend of ours was the officiant) it was actually hard for her because a lot of people from her church were very judgmental about our choice of venue.

she tried to talk my husband into being more religious, she gave me a bible for christmas, she has tried her hardest to get us to be christian, and we just keep disappointing her.

i wouldnt change anything that we did, but it was hard trying to make her ok with our choices. if my husband had caved to her desires i would not have married him.

you can have an open mind, you can make compromises. it comes down to what are you willing to live with. i would not want to live a religiously structured life.

**i have no problem with people who have religion. i think a lot of people of faith do wonderful things. my MIL works with her church getting donations of food and clothes and then they take in single mothers and give them clothes and employment counciling.. its a really wonderful thing she does and i respect that kind of religious person. **

tatya317

I have known and been with my husband since I was 16 and he was 19. Dated and married - total about 24 years.

I am a christian and he is a muslim. Our children are christians. My husband is also not a very fanatic muslim , we both believe in our own faith, in one GOD and never each other to convert. He enjoys going to church once in a while with us and I also go to the muslim gatherings at times. It works for us.. for our family. Half of my families/relatives are muslims as well. the other half are christians, catholic and eposcapalians. We enjoy family time together and truly my best friend.

I think it just depends on the person and the couple.

JNick77

I saw some posts in the old thread about the bible being fact. I was Baptized Catholic went to Catholic school my whole life and did everything Catholics are suppose to. I started to question certain things and began reading books written by religious scholars that actually give a different viewpoint on how "factual" the bible is. Aside from the issue of simply recording his years teaching there are so many different Christian beliefs early-on that what ended-up getting recorded was so biased and slanted to the biases of individual groups. Some Catholics believed Christ was 100% divine, others simply a man, some both divine and man, some believed he was a 2nd god, and the list goes on.

In-short, the bible is so ravaged with errors due nothing getting written for several years (2 to 3 centuries in most cases) after Christ's death (Chinese telephone anybody?), to half-literate scribes making recording errors in the early centuries, to early Christian leaders having their own bias and personal agendas and changing passages to their own liking, to misinterpretations of Greek manuscripts (e.g. Lord versus God - not the same thing but written similarly in Greek) that there is no way anybody can claim the writing as true fact. There is no way to honestly believe what was is written in the New Testament is truly what Christ said. The errors are indeed FACT and there are books published that discuss this. One of the authors I very surprised to see was Evangelical, so he didn't let his personal beliefs bias his research.

Now, I'm not against religion; I think it's great to find something to believe in and have a philosophy to live one's life by. But to state the Bible as fact and worse yet quote Bible verses as some kind of law is a mistake. And to use this information to discriminate against people of different faith is wrong too. If you find somebody in-life that you click with enjoy that person and embrace the relationship and accept each other's difference in belief; marriage is hard enough without holding one to certain religious expectations too.

penrbrown

):

Lots of interesting discussion so I'm just here to tag the thread so I can keep watching it.

chiera88

NO. what would we do with our children???!

twoscimitars

No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.

That's interesting... as I am a Christian and have a 143 IQ. I suggest you research a little further - if indeed this statement is serious.

Brandongood

I would like to comment that I saddened by all of the "religious people are stupid and intolerant" type comments. Isn't that a bit of pot calling the kettle black? That seems a bit stupid and intolerant to me.

My husband, in training to be a Pastor, getting his Master's degree in divinity... has his bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering. That is math/science/logic at it's finest, but he still believes in God. Favorite thing I've heard him say is "Sometimes science just can't explain science." As for intolerance, he seems to be more tolerant of different religions, beliefs, sexualities, races, etc than some people in those specific groups that 'hate' Christians because of what some talking head faux-preachers on the television said.

I don't use myself as an example, though I suppose I could. I was raised in a very culturally diverse area and the general rule of thumb was 'anything goes'... you were you, and that was good enough. I still feel that way and flat out told my husband our relationship was not going to work if he was not equally accepting of others who are different than he is, because I had those exact same "Christians are judgmental, intolerant idiots" outlook, until I actually got to be around some. He looked at me like I was an idiot myself for suggesting that he might not be accepting of others. We're big advocates of "judge not" around here.

To the OP... I am sorry your question generated a lot of hatred, name calling, and childishness. I hope you find a way to work things out with your ex that is satisfactory to you. It can work, if you are on different pages in regards to faith (it has so far for many I've seen - and for me personally!), as long as you are both a little open minded and willing to talk about it.

AMEN!

katiew00t

I can't keep up with all the responses anymore, and I don't care to read all the religious/non-religious-debate-rubbish, so if you have a caring, non-judgmental response that actually addresses my OP, send me a message!

lizard053

Interesting. Religion is rarely a factor in my dating choices. Technically my faith IS different from my BF's faith. I practice more than he does.

Now, a religious nutcase, no matter what variety, irks me to no end. I've found my faith and don't wish to be converted (again)!

livinginwoods

No

soccerella

I fear I need to go take an IQ test now, since as a religious person I can therefore not be smart and logical. I should probably give all those diplomas on my wall back

dlyeates

No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.

If you are serious about the IQ business, you should do some actual research to see if that holds out. Otherwise you might be seriously limiting your pool of potential suitors. Just saying...

I find this immensely disturbing but a little funny. My IQ is actually on the high side (per psychological testing and not my own personal beliefs), I qualify for Mensa (have no desire to belong to an organization like that) and I am a deeply committed passionate follower of Jesus Christ. I guess that blows that theory out of the water!!!

JNick77

Now, a religious nutcase, no matter what variety, irks me to no end. I've found my faith and don't wish to be converted (again)!

That's a little harsh but I get what you're saying. I'm fine with religion up to the point where people are so closed minded to everything else around them and base their beliefs on a man-made / man-biased book as fact.

soccerella

I can't keep up with all the responses anymore, and I don't care to read all the religious/non-religious-debate-rubbish, so if you have a caring, non-judgmental response that actually addresses my OP, send me a message!

I'm avoiding reading a paper on parasitism for class, so these other side discussions are giving me a distraction. In all seriousness, I responded to you before saying how my husband and I are different religions. Hidden in all this mess, is some good advice (and alot of bad and name calling) but in the end I hope you figure out what is best for you and feel to message me if you want to talk anymore!

stuart959

A relationship can be defined as is a process of growing my experience has shown that spirituality is a vibrant part of relationships and can be very intimacy building. In other words I chose a partner that I could connect and grow with spiritually and have been rewarded with a wonderful relationship in many aspects including the spiritual.

SwannySez

I fear I need to go take an IQ test now, since as a religious person I can therefore not be smart and logical. I should probably give all those diplomas on my wall back

if eye cud reed wut U righted I wud cry. But God make me dumm so I no reed. Bad God. Bad. I not want be a dumm. I think no God. Now I are smart!

catfire309

I my self believe in god and the church, but my husband is not a believer. and we have been happily married for 3 year's and together for 7 year's. He respect's my views and faith and never make's me feel less of a person for them. and I tho I don't understand is lack of belief do not judge him. We also know of a couple who live as we do and have a happy marriage. I'm not saying that it is easy no, but we have found respect, love and balance with in our life's.

soccerella

I fear I need to go take an IQ test now, since as a religious person I can therefore not be smart and logical. I should probably give all those diplomas on my wall back

if eye cud reed wut U righted I wud cry. But God make me dumm so I no reed. Bad God. Bad. I not want be a dumm. I think no God. Now I are smart!

hahaha

huracan_mery

My husband is Christian and I'm an atheist. We get along just fine. I let him talk about God whenever he wants to and keep my mouth shut, and whoever the kids come to with questions is going to determine the kind of answer they get. The cognitive dissonance over our final resting places, if there is any at all, is his problem, not mine. I think he's rationalized himself into a more nontraditional view of the fact that God understands our hearts and I'll end up in heaven because I'm a really really nice person. If it's the opposite way and the strict fundamentalists are right, at least we'd both be in hell together ^_^

Bridget28152723

As someone who has lived a Catholic-Atheist marriage, I would recommend that you marry someone who shares your own beliefs. Life gets you to go deeper, and if you can do so as a couple, you will be able to weather the tough times.

The beliefs that you raise your kids to have is really important. And if you are a woman, your husband will influence your children more than you will ever be able to. There are studies that bear this out. When it comes to discipline, you have to have the same values as to what is right and wrong, and if your spouse doesn't feel the way you do, the kids get the message pretty fast.

The one thing that I miss the most (and we have been married 27 years), is being able to pray together. I've been really impressed by JPII's Theology of the Body, and I would love to live this ideal with my husband. But that is not to be.

For the question of your x, I would want to know if he is interested in converting to your faith. Is he willing to worship with you? To go to Church with you? If he is, I would encourage him along this path. Once you are family, your lives will revolve around the parish, and if he is a full participant, you will be able to share so much more, and so much more deeply.

Everything she said it true, I have the same issue as her, I cant share some things with him that Id like to , but I married him before I knew what the bible taught, he's is great about everything though. I hope our kids follow the path I want them too -I lived a life not following gods laws and it full of heartache and misery. They bible does say "marry only in the Lord" which means marry someone of the same faith it is in there for A REASON , to protect us. I dont believe what the person with the cougar bait pic said about the bible not be true, It was inspired of God and was written before, during, and after Jesus coming to earth. Anyway I usually dont talk about my beliefs or state what religion I am because everyone can practice what ever they want and I never argue about my beliefs a a rule. Hope this thread doesnt turn into a catfight! It is easier in life to date/marry someone who shares your beliefs about God, but it can work out if they dont.

bhalter

Not well said. Didn't answer my question at all.

If the Old Testament is irrelevant, then so are the Ten Commandments. So what's the big deal if they're removed from the courtroom?

I don't believe your original question had anything to do with their relevancy. You asked why Christians get upset when it is brought up to remove the 10 Commandments from the courtroom.

1) We cannot possibly know the reason of every single Christian's opinion on the matter.
2) Should we delete major historical events from textbooks just because they're not "relevant" in today's society or the world isn't the same? Having religious ties and having things like the commandments or "in God we trust" in different places is a part of our nation's history. There are still Christians in this country though, so why should they be taken down just because there are other people that don't agree with it? We have a Black History Month to obviously remember black history in our country and how far we've come today and how far we still have to go. But since that doesn't apply to everyone, are you saying we shouldn't have Black History Month?
3) I also don't think anyone said that they're not relevant. The different covenants were discussed and how laws differed between them. Many of the commandments are referenced in the New Testament and Jesus still taught abiding by those laws, though his teaching was that the one law of "love your neighbor as yourself" was the one law you had to follow....by doing that, you would follow all of the other laws anyway.

BeautifulRedButterfly

Im 100% atheist..&ive dated an extreme religious guy before. I had to lie to him & tell him I was a christian as well, just so he wouldnt leave me. I loved him too much to let him go. But, in the end, I found out he cheated on me over 20 times with a guy..what kind of christain is that? LOL. Then i told him he wasted his time dating/falling in love with an atheist for a whole year. He didnt care at first, but once he had his new girlfriend at the time, he'd call and make fun of me and they'd both be laughing in the background
He told me he missed me & said he was sorry 2 years later (which was last year), so,We're cool beans now.

But, I dont get these comments from the non-believers bashing on christians...thats direspectful.
I mean, I called my ex a jesus freak, but he knew I was kidding. We'd make fun of eachother..

but, you guys r going too far..that isnt right.

STFU (:

BeautifulRedButterfly

I fear I need to go take an IQ test now, since as a religious person I can therefore not be smart and logical. I should probably give all those diplomas on my wall back

if eye cud reed wut U righted I wud cry. But God make me dumm so I no reed. Bad God. Bad. I not want be a dumm. I think no God. Now I are smart!

LOL
:'D

JNick77

I dont believe what the person with the cougar bait pic said about the bible not be true, It was inspired of God and was written before, during, and after Jesus coming to earth.

The New Testament was definitely inspired by Christ but was 100% not written during the life of Christ. But that inspiration also caused differences in interpretation of his teachings and biased what was later written. The literacy rate during his life was 10%-15% and being literate meant you can write your name, not necessarily that you could intelligibly read or write. It's a generally accepted fact among historians than non of his disciples were literate. They were poor and worked manually to sustain their family, literacy wasn't a requirement for survival. With maybe the exception of Paul there are no first-hand written accounts of Christ's life. The authors of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were not Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, the authors are unknown. They were likely people that heard them preach and told the stories verbally until somebody along and wrote them down. Furthermore, the Gospel of Mark was a reference for Matthew and Luke so much of their Gospels wasn't even original thought. Make no mistake about it, the bible is not this factual eye-witness account of Christ's life.

Again, I have no problem with religion itself but rather how it's used.

sarahgilmore

I'm very atheist, anti-religion. I couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone religious.
My husband is more agnostic and even that borders on being a problem. He has no issues with the kids going to church if they want (but he's not taking them, i.e. go with a friend) wheras I'm totally against them going at all.

i wuld not wish hell on anyone but th path that you ar en you well see it. I will be praying for you. there is a God and he is a loving God and he knows this facts abouyouand still loves you. Please open your eyes to the wonderful light of God

LOL

Please, don't bother.

I mean really. Don't bother.




Seriously, WTF is this????

jaymek92

guess what, everybody! your religion does not define who you are.
you define who you are. the choices you make, the things you think, and the things you say define who you are, not where you hang out on your rest day or what you believe happens after you die.
the biggest *kitten* ever could be a christian or a jew or a muslim or a buddhist or an atheist. on the other hand, the most good person ever could be a christian or a jew or a muslim or a buddhist or an atheist.
to judge people based solely on their religion is wrong. to say you can't be with somebody based solely on their religion is wrong.
if you believe that when you die, you go to heaven, great! if your significant otter believes that when you die, you are reincarnated, fantastic! as long as you're good people and treat each other right, there's no reason you shouldn't be together. if your significant otter is going to berate you as he or she walks out of the door every saturday on his or her way to temple and you're going to be saying what a horrible person they are for not joining you at the mosque on friday, then, no. it's not going to work out.
if you can go to your place of worship on your day of worship and don't feel that they need to be the exact same as you (which is boring, by the way. why would you want to be in a relationship with yourself? that's called bachelorhood.), then great! you can perfectly coexist as a couple.
when kids come into the equation, why not just educate them in both religions you practice as well as encourage them to look into other faiths? don't worry about what your deity thinks of their faith just yet. a two year old doesn't make a very good follower of a religion, anyway. they just tend to cry and run away. when they get to the point where they have looked into different religions, let them make the choice of what religion they believe. if you have been a good parent to them, they will (with some exceptions) be a good person, no matter what beliefs they hold.
why don't you teach your children not to pull the hair out of the cat or throw sand at people, not that people of every other religion are wrong and need to be converted to your specific religion? priorities, people.
if you have a child who thinks that pulling out hair and throwing sand is acceptable and also that everybody else is wrong, they are not going to have a very good childhood or make many friends.

SwannySez

i wuld not wish hell on anyone but th path that you ar en you well see it. I will be praying for you. there is a God and he is a loving God and he knows this facts abouyouand still loves you. Please open your eyes to the wonderful light of God

LOL

Please, don't bother.

I mean really. Don't bother.




Seriously, WTF is this????

I...I would almost think that it's parody, right? I mean...it HAS to be...right?

CarolynB38

No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.

If you are serious about the IQ business, you should do some actual research to see if that holds out. Otherwise you might be seriously limiting your pool of potential suitors. Just saying...

^^Yep! My uncle is a papal monsignor and has several degrees to his name; two of which are in mathematics. I am catholic and have a physics degree. IQ and religion aren't mutually exclusive. However, it would be interesting to see if IQ is inversely proportional to the degree of prejudice a person holds towards particular groups of people... :bigsmile:

Oh, and my husband is atheist and we have a fantastic marriage. We have decided that the children will know both sides because ultimately faith is their choice. Forcing one thing on them doesn't mean they share that faith and may even push them away from it. To have true faith they have to decide on their own and that is something we both agree on!

sarahgilmore

I...I would almost think that it's parody, right? I mean...it HAS to be...right?

I feel much more confident about our future as a species if it is