Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

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  • prose58
    prose58 Posts: 52
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    I could not date someone who had a different religion as me as the Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked.

    I was just that for 15 years and it ended up going the wrong way rather than the right way and I knew that I could not stay in the marriage for his "new" lifestyle was very wrong in God's eyes.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I think the sad trend in this thread is that the devout religious seem to have a problem respecting another person's religion or lack of religion and have no faith in another person to be truly respectful of theirs.
    Respect makes the world go 'round, folks!

    I think you are misunderstanding. Just because we would not marry someone with different religious/spiritual beliefs, that does not mean that we don't have respect for their beliefs. If that is what Jim choses to believe, that is fine by me, BUT I'm not going to marry Jim. My relationship with Christ is just so important to me that I need to be able to share it with my spouse.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 795 Member
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    How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!


    Utterly essential.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    its just too much of a fundamental issue with me. trying to make a point here without offending ... but it'd be a dealbreaker for me. I dont think i could get past the fact someone believes in what ~i~ think is an imaginary friend.

    What's wrong with Imaginary friends? I love the voices in my head. They tell me Im sexy and to work out.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I wouldn't do it.
    I was a fervent Catholic all my life, I married an Agnostic...and it was way too many conflicts. The arguments we had to have my son baptized, the whole Lent thing, etc etc.
    I had a sort of waking up in my early 30's and I consider myself Humanist now. I'm raising my son to be good, for goodness sake. To do the right thing, because its the right thing to do.
    Of course, my ex husband likes to tell me " I told you so"....
    My partner now is also Agnostic, and while we aren't having children together, I think it would be very difficult to stay together if we were of differing religious views.
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
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    According to the Bible, you should "kill" non-believers, so why don't you do that?
    I believe you're misreading the Ten Commandments.

    Also ignoring the New Testament.

    The first sign of someone who is ignorant of the Bible and Christianity is when they start quoting Mosaic Law written more than a thousand years before Christ existed and asking why Christians don't follow those laws.

    No fair, when so often Christians will start spouting "Old Testament" judgment as political dogma, i.e., "an eye for an eye" or whatever anti-gay or even anti-Onanism bit they've committed to memory. Often, Christians themselves spout "Mosaic Law" and defend it as an integral part of their faith. It's not surprising folks can't keep it straight when the believers themselves are often of two minds on the matter.

    Religion is a very sensitive subject for many. Myself included. I always try to be respect of others beliefs (or lack of beliefs) as long as they treat me with respect as well.

    That being said, I think the Christians who spout the "an eye for an eye" are full of it. Jesus said for FORGIVE! He preached on tolerance and love. Not bigotry, hatred and jealousy. We may not agree with our brothers and sisters but we are told we HAVE to love them anyway. Even though we are right (HAHAH>..THAT WAS A JOKE!!! Seriously, a JOKE!!! lol)
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
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    No fair, when so often Christians will start spouting "Old Testament" judgment as political dogma, i.e., "an eye for an eye" or whatever anti-gay or even anti-Onanism bit they've committed to memory. Often, Christians themselves spout "Mosaic Law" and defend it as an integral part of their faith. It's not surprising folks can't keep it straight when the believers themselves are often of two minds on the matter.

    Well, I can't believe no one has commented on the use of the phrase no fair!
    No really, that's all I had to add.

    Except that not all Christians are the same... because they're people. Just like not all athiests are the same.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Well I don't believe in religion, but a relationship with Christ I do. I couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone who didn't believe..

    Amen
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
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    That's something only you and your partner can answer. I have dated women (and married one) whose beliefs aren't identical to mine, and it's never an issue unless the woman tries to pressure me into changing. As for children, I'm okay with whatever beliefs they adopt (or are taught), so long as they don't become the type of person who tries to force those beliefs on other people, which I find despicable.

    Other people may have stronger views (like the OP's boyfriend who originally stated he'd never allow his children to attend church). If that's your position, then you should certainly be looking for someone who shares your views, or you're setting yourself up for a giant pile of misery.
  • mdundon09
    mdundon09 Posts: 66 Member
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    My husband and I are the same religion and, even then, we still have religious and philosophical debates. I think that if religion is an important part of your life, it stands to reason that being a different religion will at some point cause conflict between you and your bf/spouse. Religion is one of those topics that, like politics, can lead to VERY strong feelings.
  • stablesong
    stablesong Posts: 224
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    When my boyfriend and I got together, I was under the impression that he wasn't really religious. He's always interested in eastern philosophies and Buddhism, etc, but one day he decided that he wanted to go to church. He asked me to go and I told him no. It's just not something I'm comfortable with. He mentions religion sometimes, usually in analogies when we're arguing/debating something. As much as I tell him I don't relate to it at all, he doesn't really get that. I guess he doesn't care, and I don't care if he's religious as long as he isn't forcing me to go to church or preaching at me.

    I don't know how I feel about my kids going to church. I would never bring them myself or raise them Christian because I'm not Christian, but if they wanted to go with their friends or once they got older, I would let them. I won't stop them from following a belief system and making decisions, but I don't agree with Christianity so I wouldn't introduce them to it immediately.
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
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    My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

    Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

    How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

    Regardless of my personal beliefs, religion - or the lack thereof - is one of those big irreconcilable differences; you MUST be on the same page! Marriage and raising kids are difficult in and of themselves, no reason to make that even more difficult. I know situations can change but I'd much rather start on the same page than somewhere completely different.
  • OLFATUG
    OLFATUG Posts: 393 Member
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    What's wrong with Imaginary friends? I love the voices in my head. They tell me Im sexy and to work out.

    I think your imaginary friends might be drinking buddies with my imaginary friends! ;)
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    I was raised christian.... more so forced to go to church 3x a week growing up.
    There are also a lot of pagen/wiccans in my family.

    I have a lot of different beliefs but most of them stem out to be pagan/wiccan.

    My boyfriend of 7 years on the other hand grew up very religious, definetly believes in god, goes to chuch on sundays, dont believe in gay marriage or relationships (Btw I am pansexual and have been in a relationship with a female) and the whole 9 years.

    We have a 3 year old son.
    We have decided to let our son pick his own religion.

    We do talk about god, we do talk about spirits, we dont keep anything "closed" discussion, even thought he dont understand at the moment completely but he will know that there are more then one "belief" out there.

    Religion is a PERSONAL belief.
    You cant force it on somebody and have you have be open minded about others beliefs as well.

    "Judge not, and you will not be judged....."
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    Religion is a very sensitive subject for many. Myself included. I always try to be respect of others beliefs (or lack of beliefs) as long as they treat me with respect as well.

    That being said, I think the Christians who spout the "an eye for an eye" are full of it. Jesus said for FORGIVE! He preached on tolerance and love. Not bigotry, hatred and jealousy. We may not agree with our brothers and sisters but we are told we HAVE to love them anyway. Even though we are right (HAHAH>..THAT WAS A JOKE!!! Seriously, a JOKE!!! lol)

    Thank you and well put. That one of the reasons why I have such a big problem with religion. Many of the biggest *kitten* and biggots that I know are self-proclaimed "good" Christians. I always love when somebody introduces theirself as a "good" Christian person. One's religion doesn't make them good, one's ACTIONS make them good. Religion is just a philosophical approach to life.
  • StarGeezer
    StarGeezer Posts: 351
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    I'm very religious. In the past, I've tried to be "accommodating" to differing beliefs for the sake of the relationship.This usually ends badly, as the person making the concessions winds up being the doormat for the more dominant personality. Keep in mind this goes beyond holding to a particular credo. Your beliefs also color your core values, and if there's a conflict that arises because of this (and mark me, it will, eventually) then one party or the other feels they are compromising their values.

    I'm also somewhat perplexed...if I read your OP correctly, you indicated you had moved on and already gotten into another relationship. So why are you contemplating looking elsewhere? Your ex had his "at bat"...he swung, he missed. Consider the impact such a move would have on your current partner. And I agree with the woman on the first page... he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear in order to have you back. Chances are likely he would renege on this arrangement once he got his way.

    how did you get that I was in another relationship? Cuz I'm not...

    In your original post, you said:
    Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

    Now, in re-reading it, you don't say that you are in a relationship. But a cursory read-through made it sound like you might have found someone else who shared your faith.

    Doesn't change the basic gist of what I said. It's not unheard of for someone to do a 180 on their position. But I'd approach it with caution and apply all due diligence before you consider jumping back into the relationship. You may want to start with just what caused such a sudden change-of-heart and whether it's genuine or was simply said to pacify the original conflict.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Wow. I was going to say it didn't matter to me, but I guess it would.

    I'm athiest so I don't think I could date a believer. But then again, I wouldn't think a believer could date me either. If we were just different religions, I could say the potato potato thing, but i don't think someone could date me when i say there is no such thing as either. (and vice versa)

    I think that it comes down to the individual and their beliefs. more than just believing or not. More an more people have a "spiritual" acknowledgement, but dont go to "church" because of the fire and brimstone attitudes.

    Love is of the heart and soul. When you truly love someone, you love EVERYTHING that makes them who they are. Not just pieces to their puzzle. You dont have to like pieces, but you do love the person. Why allow something such as a belief be a deterrence for what could be the greatest experience in your life....sharing your journey with another in love?


    its just too much of a fundamental issue with me. trying to make a point here without offending ... but it'd be a dealbreaker for me. I dont think i could get past the fact someone believes in what ~i~ think is an imaginary friend.

    I'm a born-again believer and I understand exactly what you mean. I couldn't date/marry an Atheist either. It doesn't make either of us "bad" or "intolerant."
  • thewade
    thewade Posts: 1
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    I would not, but I would also not date/marry an Auburn fan, a Vol fan, or a Steelers fan so I'm probably not the best person to listen to. lol
  • KLo924
    KLo924 Posts: 379 Member
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    I don't know that I could do it - but it's all in how you work it out between the two of you. My husband is atheist and I'm agnostic (we were both raised Catholic. Now, if anything, I lean Hindu). I'm fascinated by religion and, understanding it's everywhere, would want my children to be exposed to the teachings of lots of different religions for education's sake. But, I would never let my child be forced into believing one or the other is "true" or "real" or "fact." That's for them to decide, if they want to.

    So, you and I probably wouldn't work out lol, but maybe you and your ex can come to some agreement. I've known Christian/Jewish couples to work this out fine (both getting the opportunity to teach their beliefs).
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
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    Yes, it is a generalization... and one that I'm comfortable asserting. I've never seen anything like religion to obstruct logical thought. I don't think IQ has anything to do with it... so let me clarify: Religion causes people to disrupt reason & logic.

    So do politics and everything else. You can pick any social/political/religious issue and have tons of people with dozens of different ideas and explanations built upon their own opinions and not reason or logic. To make a sweeping generalization about how a "stupid streak" runs among the religious isn't a correct one. We shouldn't make generalizations at all. If we did, we can make a lot of sweeping generalizations about the type of people that need to be on this website, but I doubt you would like to be included in that.
    Then why do so many Christians get up in arms when people want to remove the Ten Commandments from courthouses?

    I don't know, I'm not one of them. Yes, this country was founded by religious men and founded on Christian principles, but if the government wants to remove those parts of history from their buildings, let them. It won't affect me or my beliefs.

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