"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

jillybean0123

I've actually thought about this from day 1 of my weight loss journey. I wonder how differently I will be treated when I lose the weight and how I will act towards those who knew me but ignored me. Honestly, I want to have the attitude of "if I wasn't good enough for you when I was fat, then you're not good enough for me now" but I know that is really not the way to go about things. An eye for an eye makes the world go blind but I do wish I could make people aware of how horrible it feels to be ignored. It also doesn't help when you have an incredibly thin, beautiful younger sister. It kills me to walk into a room and the first words out of everyones' mouths are "where's your sister?". It happens almost every day and I am sick of it.

Sorry, somebody please take the soapbox away from me before I hurt myself.

BobbieLee1959

This is outstanding. You are a very talented writer. While your story itself is compelling, the way you shared it kept me captivated. Thanks for sharing.

Agree with the talented writer comment. Some thoughts may change with age, because even though I am 260+ in weight and have been as high as 290, people have always been the same. When I was younger, I experienced things much the same as the writer, but people treat you with the respect you *believe* you deserve, so even at my top weight, I have never felt disrespect nor had a door slam me in the face.

I think this stems from the fact that I expect to be treated with respect despite my obvious physcial flaws. That said, I did enjoy the points you brought out. I just think the real issue is not weight, but self esteem.

Any perceived *mistreatment* of me, actually was a product of my own insecurities. I am not saying that people cannot be cruel, because they can, but you said yourself that you have looked upon others who are overweight with "disdain". We all have done this, regardless of a desire to be unjudgemental. There is clearly a wish not to become the fat person in the crowd or we would not be on this website, trying to change our lives and images.

Thanks for an insightful read and best wishes on maintaining your weight loss and in your personal relationships!

mkmacf

These are all of the things that fill my fat-turned-skinny-one-day daydreams. I am assuming a lot of it is confidence, but some is just people being ridiculous.

Thanks for posting. It was interesting!

brookepenni

I do not understand why society looks down upon being overweight as it does. We all have our flaws, vices, and personal battles. Perhaps being overweight is visible and so it is targeted, albeit unjustly. I don't have any solutions...but thank you posting. It is inspiring, and an excellent reminder to treat all of those around us with love and respect--regardless of appearance.

I think a lot of it is overweight people like myself are just easy targets. We (as a whole) tend to not defend ourselves and will just stand there and take it, perhaps acting like we don't hear the comments directed at us. There is a lot of self-hate as well, because of what we hear constantly from society, and a lot of us feel we deserve it. It's not right, and only serves to bring on emotional eating and more weight gain. Fat-shaming will never work.

There is also a general attitude that we are fat and it is our own fault. While that is true to some degree, things aren't that simple. This idea though is why so many people feel they have free reign to treat others like crap. As if it is somehow deserved.

The hard part is how many of us hate ourselves because we think that way too. We must be worthless or we wouldn't have let this happen.

When you do lose the weight, there is no healthy reason to question others, or hold a grudge.

I am nicer to myself as I get smaller, how can I truly be angry at someone else doing the same thing?

I think another thing to remember about 'society' is the pressure overweight people put on 'society'. The health system in particular, soooo many preventable issues come from being overweight, and the media have a field day on this (as well as smoking, alcohol etc) so its very hard for people to not think negatively about overweight/obese people. Calling names and some of the other horrid things aside, we can't blame people for not being attracted to our type when the negativity remains.

That's not how I wanted to say it, but I hope someone knows what I mean (sorry its late Sunday night and I should be in bed!!!)

BlueInkDot

This article got me thinking about how *I* treat people. Do I treat them differently based on how they look? I hope not. I like to think that I treat people the same despite their weight. Especially since it grinds my gears so much when people treat me differently because I'm female (I'm an engineer - a very predominantly male profession). The only difference I think I make in my head is that when I see someone who is fit, I am immediately gauging how attractive they are, and trying to make sure that my conversations and body language do not show any signs of "dang, you are attractive!" Meanwhile if someone is overweight, I don't even have to think about it. I'm not attracted to them, so I can just be natural. Which, now that I think about it, is a lot easier. I can take in their personality and just talk to them, and not worry about "omg they are so good looking" in the back of my mind. This goes for both boys and girls. For girls it's a matter of intimidation? I'm honestly *really* intimidated by pretty girls. Weird, I know.

Anyways, did anyone else have this reaction? Analyzing your own responses to peoples' images? Just curious.

Dauntlessness

Great article.

krisrpaz

Just had a flashback...I was 14 at the pool with my super skinny best friend. Some guy was flirting with her and I overheard him call me "Jabba the Hut". So I tried to drown him then made him apologize...

It hurt immensely emotionally but I never showed it outwardly (except aggressively) so I guess this is where I get my personality of not taking any crap from anyone...then going home and eating an entire cake.

pwittek10

I get this!
I just came back from vacation with my sister and we have been going shopping at the Mall for many years.
I made the comment that I really like a top in the fat lady section and she had a fit. I had always called my size a "fat lady "size but now that I am a size 4 it is no longer acceptable to call my old size 28 a fat lady size! WHAT????
Just because I am now size 4 outside, I am still size 28 inside.

timadotcom

I love this read, and it's true! I have not lost a huge amount of weight compared to a lot of peeps on here, but the 18 lbs that I have lost have just opened the doors to more respect from others.

We are our biggest critics and it's only natural people are going to criticize us the same way. No matter how much someone complimented me in my 'fat' body, I never really believed them, but now, whether people compliment me or not, I feel absolutely great. When I do get a 'WOW you look so great compliment" I say thank you and I believe them 100% bcz I do look GREAT!!!

This article is not a shock to me, it's just the way 'we' humans are, as ugly as it is!! I doubt we will ever live in a world with no judgements, it's what makes us humans. I am by no means an expert on weight loss or fitness, but I do know what it takes and when someone says to me 'my body is different I just can't lose weight', I'm not nice about it and I do not pretend to understand.. this *kitten* is FN hard and not one person on this site can say it's a walk in the park. So I have and I do reply with, 'you will lose weight when you are ready' cause it's the truth!!

Amybcb

Agreed. I have also found the reverse to be true. I was always in shape and treated a certain way by others, especially men. After having children, I had gained weight and found that I am largely ignored now. It has really opened my eyes and helped me to be more empathetic to those who have struggled with weight loss all their lives (like my sister). I am more understanding now that I have ever been.

raychilg

Thanks for sharing! I completely agree for this woman, especially about the relationships part. I struggled in the same way when I was younger and looking for a relationship, all of my male friends were interested in sleeping with me but didn't seem to want to tell anybody. At the time I was only a size 16 but because I was so 17 years old the social effects were even crueler and stuck in that high school mentality that look matter. Unfortunately for some people that mentality never changes. I am happy to share that my close friends and family are all different shapes and sizes and I have never felt judged by them. At high school I was never bullied once, despite being overweight. I think it may have been down to confidence, and being part of a small high school of less than 200 people, we were a close community. I have been in a very happy relationship for over 2 years now. My partner and I got together when I was a size 18 and since I have put on more weight (hence I am on this website hehe) and we are still madly in love, perhaps it because he comes from a large size family, although is very slim himself, it's not abnormal for him for people to be overweight.
I love the last comment. I too hope I will always be fat inside. Larger people live larger lives. I would never want to be accepted by the prentencious skinny people that judge on looks. I am losing weight for health reasons only. I think big is beautiful,
As Tyra Banks would say, love to all the fiercely real women out there!!

SarahE1092

That was a great story. I am looking forward to reaping those benefits as well, but I am not looking forward to finding out what people really think about me when I get "skinny"
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

tabithajoyy

Great read!

mg720

this is really an amazing read. i could relate on some many levels.

LifeLongJourney

I hope I also have the benefits when I reach my goal weight, but I am not sure how it will affect me relationship wise. When I was fatter I used to walk looking at the ground, so I didn't really know if anyone was looking at me but in the corner of my eye I would see the stares and looks of some people, but i guess it was because of my weight an my appearance. I hated walking down the 'prep' part of the hallway in highschool. I used to take the long way to avoid it. I remember in highscool how I wish I could turn heads of my male classmates, I wished I got a candy gram from someone on valentines day, I wish someone would ask me to a dance and I never experienced any of that. Of course over a course of years in school, my confidence dropped so bad I could not lift my eyes from my desk during classes, to a point when a teacher thought I was asleep. But I never had the problem of people just wanting to sleep with me and not wanting to admit, or anything like that. I guess I was kind of a ghost at one point, or I made myself a ghost. And I graduated highschool like that and after that I isolated myself from the few firneds I had known and lost all my highschool friends.

Half of my primary school and all of my journal high school years I was made a outcast and made fun of my weight. Safe to say I never had a BF when in highschool and I do believe it was in result of my weight. Sense my weight loss I'm not too far from my goal weight (In my mind). I now make myself hold my head up, and not to gaze them at the floor, and back into my old habits but what I hate the most is that now that I do hold my head up, I can see everything from the corner of my eyes, even if I am not staring at them I can catch people taking a look at me or a quick stare. From both genders, and I can't help but feel that the stares are just like the ones from highschool because I was fat and unattractive, and that's why the stares are there and I can't help it, I can't help but think that is why they are staring, even now in my current weight loss.

Sense the start of my weight loss journey I have had experienced relationships, but I am unsure if it's from the weight loss or from the fact I am showing more confidence in myself. But other then that, I haven't received much attention from men, or any change at all. I'm hoping when I reach my goal weight the stares will be what I hope they mean, that it's because I am attractive.

I'm also sure my weight made me loose job opportunities too.

I think that being a fat person though my childhood and though my teens did help me be a more compassionate person. Because I know how it felt and how it feels to hurt, thus giving me a more open mind and understanding to other people in the same situation and not being judgmental their weight either. If only everyone could have the same understanding, but I guess society and their views on more heavy people will stay the same.

I'm glad this story reminded me what I learned and what contributed my personality, when I was a fatter person, for who I am today.

Irene8509

It's natural for people to seek out those who have similar views, professions, interests, and yes, looks. We want to be surrounded by others who make our world comfortable and acceptable in the context of our daily life; but also, whether directly or indirectly, as we view ourselves from the inside. If you have low self esteem you look for people who will somehow perpetuate the cycle of which you view yourself. In stating the obvious what I find most upsetting is the meaness at which people respond to differences. That we sometimes make fun of differrences is not the disturbing factor (comedians make us laugh at ourselves everyday), its how far we will react to a difference in order to help ourselves feel or look better to the group. A character flaw of humanity for sure, and at what level does it become hurtful and sadistic to society.

A very interesting article that shows all of us have flaws. It's how we view others, individually and as a group, that says something about our character. Weight can be changed, character must be built. Everything is a balance... or is it?

pg3ibew

There are so many things I want to say here. But I know what will happen. People will read them the wrong way and it will probably turn into an arguement.

I have have my own weight issues which I am currently working on. I am married for more than 20 years with 3 teenaged sons. I am losing weight for me and my family.

Let's put personalities, money, fame and fortune aside here for a minute and ask ourselves a few questions.

Purely from a looks prespective.
Men: Who are you more atracted to? RoseAnn Barr type or Cindy Crawford type?
Women: Who would you rather look like? RaseAnn Barr or Cindy Crawford?
Women: Who are you more atracted to? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?
Men; Who would you rather look like? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?

We all know the answers that 99 percent of society would give.

Let's face it, blame society or whatever you want, but WE all want to be that good looking, well dressed, confident, head turner.

And for the record, I was in LOVE with Anna Nicole Smith when she was the PLUS sized model for Guess jeans.

vabchloser

Wow that was moving...and eye opening.

kealambert

There are so many things I want to say here. But I know what will happen. People will read them the wrong way and it will probably turn into an arguement.

I have have my own weight issues which I am currently working on. I am married for more than 20 years with 3 teenaged sons. I am losing weight for me and my family.

Let's put personalities, money, fame and fortune aside here for a minute and ask ourselves a few questions.

Purely from a looks prespective.
Men: Who are you more atracted to? RoseAnn Barr type or Cindy Crawford type?
Women: Who would you rather look like? RaseAnn Barr or Cindy Crawford?
Women: Who are you more atracted to? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?
Men; Who would you rather look like? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?

We all know the answers that 99 percent of society would give.

Let's face it, blame society or whatever you want, but WE all want to be that good looking, well dressed, confident, head turner.

And for the record, I was in LOVE with Anna Nicole Smith when she was the PLUS sized model for Guess jeans.

thank you. so far, I seem to be the only person in here that thought this. I am working hard to lose weight, I did not work hard to gain it...so, to me, hard work deserves a payoff, laziness does not. YES, I like being liked, and in my extremely obese days, I struggled constantly for attention and being liked, but I know I didn't truly respect myself, so why would others. if i treat myself better now, it's only natural others will follow suit.

Jo_jo_85

Brilliant read.
I know someone who has gone from being incredibly thin to being over weight, and she has on a couple of occasions come crying to me. She can not believe how crule people can be towards her now that she is over weight.
What makes people think that they can say these things and yes it is so much harder to get good jobs, even if you are more than qualified and experienced. Maybe us 'fatties' are to lazy to work? I dont know...