"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

hounds726

This is a great read! Thank you for posting! The saddest part of this is that it is, in fact, true.

Lipodestroyer

Look I'm really fat. I've been fat for a long time. The thing fat people try to do is blame society or others for our own problems. Did an evil skinny person cast a fat hex on me? No. I made a series of bad choices that lead to me being this way. The sooner fat people decide enough is enough and decide to make changes the better. Complaining about airplane seats, turnstyles, etc are counterproductive. Why should companies and gov't entities have to make adjustments for us? We aren't handicapped. Being fat is a self-imposed "disease" much like other addictions. Our local news channel has been doing a news story on this fat guy named Rosie. He got to 800 lbs before he realized he had a problem. LOL are you kidding me? You mean to tell me when he got too big to fit through his front door he didn't think it was a problem then? I realized I had to make a change WAY before that because I'm not stupid.

Quit whining, join the gym, and watch what you eat (diet). Change your life. Sorry if this seems a bit cold but yes, being obese is wrong and unacceptable. Shut the hell up and do something about it folks.

chrishgt4

Prefacing my comments with the point that I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but just that it happens and there is no getting way from it.

People will judge you as soon as they see you. Sometimes the judgements are right, sometimes they are wrong. Sometimes when they are wrong, people will change those judgements as they get to know you. Other times they will still believe the original judgements.

This is life.

If you are overweight, then people won't immediately assume you are one of the minority who have illnesses etc, they will assume you don't have self control. They will assume you don't care about yourself and they will assume you don't respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself, why should I?

Again, not saying it's right or wrong, but it's life, and life isn't fair.

When I see a child, I assume they will be immature and when I see a girl I assume she will prefer sunbathing to football. These assumptions may well get proven wrong, but as humans we continue to make them.

Stereotypes exist for a reason. That being there are enough people who fulfil them to popularise them.

The next bit comes under my opinion so feel free to flame me for this, but...

Regarding someone who commented something along the lines that everything is made to remind you that you are fat - turnstiles, aeroplane seats etc. I rebut with the fact that these things are made to fit most people through/in. If you have eaten too much and are now too large to fit, that is not the air lines' faults or the train stations' faults, it is yours alone. They aren't 'built to remind you' - they are built for the majority and you happen to fall outside of it. These places are businesses, they aren't against customers paying so have no interest in restricting them.

(At this point it would be easy to digress into an existential debate about the true nature of responsibility, but let's assume that we, as adults, are responsible for our own actions, irrelevant of what our parents were like or what society says. We all have our own minds and we should exercise our right to use them.)

In my experience, and that of people I know who used to be obese, it is much harder to stay clean and fresh (for obvious reasons such as being warmer due to having a larger coat of 'insulation') and therefore, as I say, this is in my experience, larger people tend to smell slightly, particularly towards the end of the day or when it's warm or in enclosed areas. That coupled with what is most likely a poor diet, producing quite often bad guts and, in turn, bad smelling farts and you can understand why people might prefer not to be in a lift or other enclosed space, like on a plane, where you also have the problem of encroachment of space.

This to me falls under the category of 'placing the blame everywhere but on your own shoulders'. Which seems to me what a growing number of people are doing, as evidenced by the surge of no win no fee, where there's blame there's a claim companies. If there is a situation that causes you an issue, where you are in the minority (i.e. most people don't suffer the same issue), and you are in control of that situation, then perhaps you ought to look at yourself as the starting point for any apportionment of blame.

Regarding the issue of people wanting to date someone after they have lost weight, I don't see the problem. Anyone who says that physical attraction is totally not important to them when looking for a partner is lying, and if they believe it, then they are lying to themselves. It stands to reason that as you lose weight, you become more attractive, and therefore become more appealing to the opposite sex (or the same sex, let's not discriminate).

kealey1318

Regarding someone who commented something along the lines that everything is made to remind you that you are fat - turnstiles, aeroplane seats etc. I rebut with the fact that these things are made to fit most people through/in. If you have eaten too much and are now too large to fit, that is not the air lines' faults or the train stations' faults, it is yours alone. They aren't 'built to remind you' - they are built for the majority and you happen to fall outside of it. These places are businesses, they aren't against customers paying so have no interest in restricting them.

I agree with this! I don't think a business deliberately tries to make things difficult for people who are overweight.

I also agree with your point that it's not fair to blame someone if they are not attracted to you when you one size and then a significantly different other size. My husband has always been a very medium build person, naturally muscular, never overweight. After 3 kids, and definitely overeating and underexercising, I found myself to be about 60 pounds heavier than when he married me. Now, I was never skinny, he married me when I was at 190-200 pounds, but I understand that 60 pounds looks quite a bit different on a person. I always told him that I would understand if he felt he was no longer attracted to me. Luckily, that has not been the case, but it's not something I could fault him for. We've been married for a little over 10 years and have stuck it out through thick, now it's time for us to start living through thin!

m60kaf

I get treated the same.

I was a fat black man, I am now a built black man.

I still get pulled over.
I still get looked at with the "eye'.

Wait wat?

Am I the only one looking at this post as some sort of gloat?

It's like she is saying, if you get skinny, you instantly succeed. It doesn't work like that. It takes more than looks.

I think yer pretty spot on there - it's not cos Im thin its the change in my self worth that has come along the way.

One of the things I say I started to loose weight is I didnt want to look like a fat b***ard driving a convertible.

Now that Im not fat and drive a convertible I realised it's not I'm happy not be be fat doing it it's actually I couldn't care less what other people think

I have had the I wouldn't go out with you if you looked like you did then - but back then I wouldn't have had the confidence to go out with them and give the banter that keeps them.

And I might be thin - but some people still hate my arrogance - I have character trates some people probably don't like fat or thin - the funny thing is though people seem more willing to put up with them in a thin person??????

If Im a bit negative towards fat people its not really cos there fat - it's the attitudes they have that make them fat

Sonyakrueger8

Fantastic! Your dedication and reflection is inspiring!

grumpya

Its interseting to see how harsh some of the men are in this debate. Maybe some people who were thin & especially with the men who when they were young adolescents they could eat & eat & not gain weight they carried on eating too much got fat, ate less & got thin. Good for them I'm pleased they found it so easy.
There are people of both sexes who were reared by parents who either trained them from birth that if you fell sad, if you are upset - EAT, my father hated the sound of a crying child so shoved a sweet in my mouth every time. He didn't like over excited kids much either, easier to give her an ice cream so she shut up. Other people grew up in homes where the only pleasure they ever felt was to eat.
Contrary to what some people who think it is all so simple think, if you have been trained FROM BIRTH into a certain form of behaviour it is very hard to recognise & even harder to break. Maybe some of those people were brought up in homes where they got no sympathy & no empathy from anyone that is why they are so uncaring & harsh.
Sure we are all able to stop putting stuff in our mouths in theory but the psychology of it is much more complex than that. Surely if it was so simple these guys who now have all the answers would have stopped eating too much the first time they had to rush out to buy new clothes because their waistband or collar wouldn't do up? They wouldn't have left it till they needed a website like this!

kealambert

Its interseting to see how harsh some of the men are in this debate. Maybe some people who were thin & especially with the men who when they were young adolescents they could eat & eat & not gain weight they carried on eating too much got fat, ate less & got thin. Good for them I'm pleased they found it so easy.
There are people of both sexes who were reared by parents who either trained them from birth that if you fell sad, if you are upset - EAT, my father hated the sound of a crying child so shoved a sweet in my mouth every time. He didn't like over excited kids much either, easier to give her an ice cream so she shut up. Other people grew up in homes where the only pleasure they ever felt was to eat.
Contrary to what some people who think it is all so simple think, if you have been trained FROM BIRTH into a certain form of behaviour it is very hard to recognise & even harder to break. Maybe some of those people were brought up in homes where they got no sympathy & no empathy from anyone that is why they are so uncaring & harsh.
Sure we are all able to stop putting stuff in our mouths in theory but the psychology of it is much more complex than that. Surely if it was so simple these guys who now have all the answers would have stopped eating too much the first time they had to rush out to buy new clothes because their waistband or collar wouldn't do up? They wouldn't have left it till they needed a website like this!

I grew up fat, I was over 200lbs in middle school, over 300 in highschool, almost hit 400 in college. Blame my parents? blame society? those are the people who encouraged me to lose weight and feel/look better. I'm not saying it's ok to be mean to people for something as simple as being fat, but there are subconscious factors to how we/they are treated that are beyond our immediate knowledge. they're deep-seeded, just like the psychological trauma of growing up fat is. do most people wake up thinking 'ok, i'll treat a fat person worse than an average one'? doubtful. personally, whether it's their fault or intention or not, I will do whatever I can to be in control of the situation. if I don't want to be treated poorly, or deprived of certain privileges, AND I have a choice in how to make that happen??? SOLD!

it's just like those who choose to hate their jobs, their wives, the town they live in, WHATEVER (outside of race or gender stereotypes, which are SADLY not in your immediate control to change). it's YOUR life, choose the better path, but don't blame others for it.

thecarbmonster

As the years pass, it is easy to forget. I have even, on a few occasions, found myself looking at an overweight person with faint disdain, forgetting those years I struggled with the very same issue.

This reminds me of a wedding where I was stuck at a table with a lady who had just recently lost 50+ pounds. She just kept mentioning over and over how she looks down on overweight people after she lost the weight, why can't other people do it, etc...and there was this awkward tension like "Is she trying to fat shame me to my face?"; I was/still am 250+ pounds. I just tried to be very polite and act interested and compliment her (since that's what she was fishing for), but I kept wincing to myself. Even after losing all that weight, she still wasn't someone I would want to resemble from her lack of tact, to lack of empathy (especially when she had come from the same place herself!), so I wasn't offended.

mandyjoy12

I love this! I have the opposite story so far but am working towards getting back there. I have been thinking about that recently how different I am treated nowadays being the "fat friend". I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a country line dancing bar and that was when I actually realized that men now treat me different. The guys I usually hang out with are the same ones I have known from my skinnier days and they still flirt all the time so it was a culture shock to go to this new place with my friends and be the one standing in the background while guys were coming up to them.

tomusiakl

Incredible story. I love what I just read.

watts7787

Bump for later!

TiasF

a lot of ppl are arguing, "it's our fault we're fat, take responsibility," etc etc, & i agree. i think it is just respectful to be cognizant of the personal stories of ppl's lives and understand that my fatness has nothing to do with being any less of a human being, & i should still be treated like one. ppl always say, "just shut up quit blaming ppl & lose the weight" but uhh.. duh thats what we're on here trying to do! we've noticed our downfalls & our wrongs & we're trying to fix them. the only problem is that it takes a while. & we're still treated like a piece of meat until things change.

nursegnet

Thank you for sharing.

Stixx28

Bump, Thanks for that!

degantt

Well said! I understand as I am visually impaired and the general public thinks just becuase your eyes don't work, your brain doesn't and therefore you can't do anything independantly.

greigallan

Brilliant story and so true to so many even those with less weith issues. For me I was about 5 stone over weight and now in only 4 months I have shed nearly 4 stone of that. Feeling so much better in myself than before and loving the thinner more confident me. Good on you for keeping the weght off too one thing I am going to have to watch closely as I have nighmares about putting weght back on.

rosalang

thanks so much for posting that, it really made me think that i should make more effort myself and not judge. I try not to already but will make a better effort after reading your post.
my daughter had the same problem you talk about with peoples attitude and she was underweight. she had no end of people mention this to her even when in the supermarket queue. everytime i went out with her people would comment thinking they were being kind and telling her she should be a model. she was a shy teenager and didnt want all the comments. her name is anna and all her so called friends were calling her annarexic. she ate properly and a lot more than the rest of us.
the same thing happened to me when i was 14 and because of all the "arnt you thin comments" i over ate for 2 years and eventually put on weight which then turned to a weight problem.
wouldnt it be nice if we could all forget about the weight and and look at the people instead. you are obviously a nice kind person so just wanted to make you aware of the other end of the scale so when you talk to other people we can change everyones thinking
bless you for being so kind

bexkee

Thank you for taking the time to write that.

MrDude_1

Hello you all. This is an article copied from the link below in which a woman talks about the social stigma of losing 100 lbs. I have read this multiple times. I'm interested in hearing what some of you think about it.


"I come from a small-ish town in Oklahoma where we’ve never met a vegetable we couldn’t fry and the only thing more super-sized than our portions are the huge church complexes that alternate with fast-food restaurants along our roads.
So it maybe isn’t such a big surprise that by the time I graduated from high school, I weighed 260 pounds. My prom dress was a size 24, and my mother had to help me zip it up, a five-minute ordeal during which we grunted and cursed at one another. My aunt had to custom-make my graduation gown, a huge white tent in which I resembled the Stay-Puft marshmallow man. Still, I left for college in New York City feeling relatively confident. After all, I wasn’t just fat. I was also stylish, managing to alter and combine pieces in a way where they overcame their origins as shapeless sacks designed by people with the gall to decorate plus-size garments with ice-cream cones and slices of pizza. And I was hilarious, *****y and sexually brash, defense mechanisms mastered by fat women and gay men everywhere.
I wasn’t immune — hurtful things would happen on occasion. Groups of rowdy teenagers sometimes yelled insults at me from car windows. I gave my phone number to a nice guy, only to find out when he called that he had a fetish for overweight women, shamelessly telling me that he likes “something to grab onto” during sex. Or someone would approach me out of nowhere on the street and tell me not to worry about how I look; someday — when I’m ready — I’ll lose the weight. And of course, I compared myself endlessly to the impossibly thin women in magazines, just like the average-weight women I knew, to whom I also, by the way, compared myself.
Despite these blows to your self-esteem, for the most part nobody close to you really tells you to your face what they think about your weight. As a result, a fat girl’s worldview is missing vital pieces of information. When you don’t get invited on your friends’ man-catching all-girl outings, or when men who enjoy sleeping with you over and over again fail to want to date you, you can’t quite comprehend that all this is really caused by the way you look.
But then, the summer before my junior year of college, something changed. I made a promise to myself to diet just for one summer, and for the first time I saw results. On a low-carb plan, I started melting away, shrinking inwards. I began to grow collarbones and hipbones, sprouting bony, sharp spots all over my body. By the end of the summer, I was 50 pounds lighter, and within a year I was down to 160 pounds on my 5’11″ frame, a solid size 10.
It’s been six years now that I’ve maintained that weight loss, and it is far and away the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Not because I’m healthier and will probably live longer, but because I now reap the benefits of a society set up to punish fat people for the unforgivable crime of eating too much.
I hear the fat jokes right out loud now, instead of just a whispering breeze brushing past my ear. Men who used to let the door swing shut in my face now hold it open for me politely and look me up and down as I step past. My own boyfriend, a man I began dating a few months after reaching my goal weight, sees the picture on my driver’s license and admits he probably wouldn’t have gone out with me when I looked like that. I appreciate his honesty. It’s better than the good-intentioned people who gush upon seeing the new me, “You’re so pretty now!” before stammeringly adding, “Not that you weren’t, uh, pretty before.”
Finding yourself suddenly thin after a lifetime of being fat is a bit like stepping into that “Saturday Night Live” sketch where Eddie Murphy goes undercover as a white guy and discovers that white people act completely differently when there are no black people around. With no outward sign of my former body type, I became a renegade spy for Team F.A.T.
Of course, I didn’t discover that thin people drink cocktails and dance when fat people get off the bus. But when I lost weight, I was rewarded with membership in a club I never knew existed, where the benefits included better treatment, greater professional success and, above all, a new status as qualified participant in the social world including romantic relationships.
Of course, I lost weight to reap these benefits. But it doesn’t stop me from being angry that I had to lose weight to reap these benefits. Of those who are nice to me now, who would have been rude to me before? Which ones made the cruel jokes? Who can be trusted?
As the years pass, it is easy to forget. I have even, on a few occasions, found myself looking at an overweight person with faint disdain, forgetting those years I struggled with the very same issue. I hope never to gain back the weight I lost. But I have seen another side of people that I cannot forget. And with any luck, I never will.
I hope I always stay fat on the inside."




http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-08-09/girl-talk-i-lost-100-pounds-and-found-out-what-the-world-thinks-of-fat/
(there are pictures on the website)

thats 100% true for alot of things.

I discovered something similar when I was 19.
Previously I had long hair, scruffy goatee, muscles from raging teenage hormones, and looked like the kind of person you REALLY didnt want to piss off. But I was a nice geek that wrote computer software. lol.
After moving to dallas and having the company I moved there for collapse when the tech bubble burst, I was job hunting. After a bunch of searching I took a deep breath, had my hair cut really short, and trimmed the goatee very close and neat.

Instantly everyone treated me different. Very different.


Regardless of what we WANT to think, people will ALWAYS judge you by your outward appearance.. at least initially.

morgansmama

It was very well put but I just don't know if I agree with it. I was extremely athletic and in shape when I was in high school and college, but when I got pregnant and gained tons of weight, it was because I didn't value myself enough to make the good decisions that would help me be healthy. My friends still loved me but they recently told me that they hated that I was unhealthy and not taking the time for myself. I DID THIS TO MYSELF. No one else. So why should other people be to blame for the way I feel when others look at me? It makes me livid when "fat" people do the exact same thing that they accuse the "skinny" people of. For example, one of my friends is obese, almost morbidly so, and she always says to my naturally very skinny friend, "EAT A CHEESEBURGER, FOR GOODNESS SAKES." Was that not just the same thing? Let's value ALL people the same instead of just overweight and heavy people. Society will only change when WE ALL CHANGE.

chrystee

What's even worse is there are people who WANT your weight loss to fail.

MrDude_1

What's even worse is there are people who WANT your weight loss to fail.

'It's not enough that I should succeed - others should fail.' - Kevin Chang

liroez29

bump

kamichel1271

Thanks for sharing!

saturnine15

There are so many things I want to say here. But I know what will happen. People will read them the wrong way and it will probably turn into an arguement.

I have have my own weight issues which I am currently working on. I am married for more than 20 years with 3 teenaged sons. I am losing weight for me and my family.

Let's put personalities, money, fame and fortune aside here for a minute and ask ourselves a few questions.

Purely from a looks prespective.
Men: Who are you more atracted to? RoseAnn Barr type or Cindy Crawford type?
Women: Who would you rather look like? RaseAnn Barr or Cindy Crawford?
Women: Who are you more atracted to? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?
Men; Who would you rather look like? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?

We all know the answers that 99 percent of society would give.

Let's face it, blame society or whatever you want, but WE all want to be that good looking, well dressed, confident, head turner.

And for the record, I was in LOVE with Anna Nicole Smith when she was the PLUS sized model for Guess jeans.

AGREED!

Well said.

Pixiecatlulu

You have a brilliant gift with words! Congrats!

linguist98

wow...i think i love you!

you hit the nail on the head...youve inspired me to reach out more

LexieSweetheart

what a great read

shoosh413

Love it! Thanks for sharing this.