Worst pick up lines you've ever heard?

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  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Man: Hello...I'm X... I'd do you.
    Me: Hello...I'm Leslie..and the feeling is not mutual.
  • LilRedPitViper
    LilRedPitViper Posts: 104
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    "Smell my finger"

    ....I did. And ended up marrying him.

    Well.... what did it smell like? Not chloroform I hope.

    It smelled like a finger. I should have added that he had licked it prior to shoving it in my face. And the proceeded to dry it off on my shoulder. ... such a romantic. :/
  • logicandlove
    logicandlove Posts: 191 Member
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    "Hey girl, I like the way you coordinate your colors"

    This was delivered to me at the age of 15, by a guy at least in his 20s, in the dairy department of a grocery store.

    The whole experience was just, creepy.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Worst:

    "Hey, good song right?" *bops head to music* "Can I come home with you?"

    Best:

    *Guy in front of me at bar ordering drinks for friends turns around* "Hey, what are you having?" *Turns back to bar and orders my drink, pays for it, and walks away*

    FTW:

    "You're beautiful."

    It's all in the delivery.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    *innuendo voice* "what do you like for breakfast?"
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Ew, I forgot about the time I was 8, and some old dude told me "In ten mo' years, you're gonna be allllll right". At fifteen, some old dude came up to me and asked "Do you need help takin' care uh that baby?". Uhm, no. She is my sister, and you aren't getting anywhere near her, Peen Face.

    My friend and I were shopping with my family when I was a teenager. These guys didn't dare come over with my family around, but they followed us with a radio, playing "Please, Don't Go" by NKOTB. Cute.
  • springermad
    springermad Posts: 242
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    'here's 20p call your parents and tell them you are not coming home tonight'
  • silvabelle89
    silvabelle89 Posts: 76
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    "go easy on the beer, or your not gonna be able to fit in that little dress of yours. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips"

    #fail
  • Skywalker_Dub
    Skywalker_Dub Posts: 29
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    Funniest thing I have ever heard anyone say to another woman was my bestfriend to a girl we were shooting pool with at a pub. And I quote... (So... I was wondering if I could wear your *kitten* as a hat?)

    I died laughing!!! Needless to say she was not flattered. weird huh?
  • Firefighter_Jay
    Firefighter_Jay Posts: 426 Member
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    Let's see:

    That shirt is very becoming, if I were on you I'd be coming too.
    !

    Damnit, that's the one I was gonna say!
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Let's see:

    That shirt is very becoming, if I were on you I'd be coming too.
    That worked for Monica Lewenski
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    Sitting next to a guy in a college class, he says he's hungry.
    I get up to take a test paper to the front, run my fingers through his hair and say: "I've got something you can eat."

    *We've been married 18-years. :wink:
  • Deanthedog
    Deanthedog Posts: 122 Member
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    grab a napkin and write this on it

    i wanna &*rz

    then hand it to them ...you know you have a winner when they look at you with a dirty grin
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,292 Member
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    grab a napkin and write this on it

    i wanna &*rz

    then hand it to them ...you know you have a winner when they look at you with a dirty grin

    ROFPMSL - you rock!
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Security guy in my building - "if your husband doesn't appreciate you i will" Yuck. I hide from him now.
    I'd turn him in for that.
  • clairesharp
    clairesharp Posts: 4
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    eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Hang in there. There are a few good men out there. I have one and sorry, but I'm not giving him up!
  • rebecca_d35
    rebecca_d35 Posts: 131
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    "Hey. Are you her nanny?"
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    "Can I buy you a drink or would you rather have the money?"
  • Deanthedog
    Deanthedog Posts: 122 Member
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    grab a napkin and write this on it

    i wanna &*rz

    then hand it to them ...you know you have a winner when they look at you with a dirty grin

    ROFPMSL - you rock!

    haha thanx
  • jennapony
    jennapony Posts: 73 Member
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    I was outside the gay bar with my lesbian best friend and some random guy walks up to us

    "I've been checking out all the ladies in there and I think the two of you are my best chance for a 2 on 1 tonight . . . whatya say?"

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