How to ask out my lady crush?

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  • slpaul100
    slpaul100 Posts: 46 Member
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    Gee i wonder why she stopped smiling and looking at u..shes caught on..!! yur a creeper dude!!! Really if i caught a dude doing what yur doing i wud get a restraining order and stop riding the bus..Yur a freak ,,im sorry to say!! To me i think its to late..if u ask her out shes goin to slap u and tell u to **** off. i wud back up dude yur way to obessed. people like u scare the **** out of me.

    She's stopped smiling 'cause he needs to work HARDER to get her attention. People have given wonderful suggestion I just know she will respond to (crotch stroking is a personal fav of mine).
    Also does she have pets?

    I hear a little bunny stew works wonders.....
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
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    Gee i wonder why she stopped smiling and looking at u..shes caught on..!! yur a creeper dude!!! Really if i caught a dude doing what yur doing i wud get a restraining order and stop riding the bus..Yur a freak ,,im sorry to say!! To me i think its to late..if u ask her out shes goin to slap u and tell u to **** off. i wud back up dude yur way to obessed. people like u scare the **** out of me.

    She's stopped smiling 'cause he needs to work HARDER to get her attention. People have given wonderful suggestion I just know she will respond to (crotch stroking is a personal fav of mine).
    Also does she have pets?

    Good suggestion! If she does, then get into her apartment & take a picture of yourself playing with her dog/cat/hamster/pet rock/etc. Show it to her the next day on the bus. Women always love it when you take an interest in their pets.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    You wont have to worry about it much longer....as soon as she see,s your *kitten* on the bench across from where she lives staring at her place you are going to be toast..At least I can say I have a conversation with you when I see this on the news ...I can see it now:
  • pinn44
    pinn44 Posts: 68
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    If she's looking away and you aren't sure if she is giving you 'the look' then you obviously aren't staring hard enough. Make it your mission not to look anywhere else, even when you/her get off the bus. Otherwise how else is she supposed to know you care.

    Quiet grunts and visible erection through your pants also help her to know you find her sexually attractive.

    Good luck OP

    Don't forget, make long, uncomfortable eye contact. As soon as she knows you're serious, move your eyes down to her tits and keep them there. Focusing on her heart makes her feel special.

    When she really responds to that, look down at her crotch and start breathing heavily. Women like it when a guy is in touch with his primal urges.

    If looking at her crotch doesn't help.. try rubbing yours instead.. Maybe lick your lips at the same time just to seal the deal.

    If this doesn't work.. She's obviously a lesbian.

    Whatever you do...DON'T GIVE UP. Next time you follow her to the bus stop in the morning, make sure to get right into her personal space. Be close enough that you can breathe gently down the back of her neck. Try to be as romantic as possible by whispering in her ear, "If I can't have you, no one will." Open your wallet and show her pictures of dead hookers and tell her they remind you of her.
    Really take the initiative here - offer to walk her back to your house. Zip straps are excellent tools for keeping her hands behind her back in order for you to walk her there. Women love a man who's chivalrous and masculine, so this should tell her that you're definitely a dominant alpha male. Make sure you allow her to get a whiff of your personal aroma by putting your balled up socks in her mouth. B*tches love that.
    Always keep in mind: PUT THE "SENSUAL" IN "NON-CONSENSUAL". Go get 'er tiger! :)
    LMFAO!!!!
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Ooh, now we're talking. We can go for a run together and then unwind over candlelight and calculus. Maybe we double-date with the OP and his vict... um, I mean girlfriend.

    I was thinking to swoon her I would show her my antique protractor and abacus collection.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
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    have you considered sending her parts of your cadavers? I once had my heart won with an ear and a left nut

    Now I want everyone to look at Byn's pic and tell me it isn't perfect! Do it NOW!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    have you considered sending her parts of your cadavers? I once had my heart won with an ear and a left nut

    Gives a whole new meaning to "I'd give my left nut..."
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Gee i wonder why she stopped smiling and looking at u..shes caught on..!! yur a creeper dude!!! Really if i caught a dude doing what yur doing i wud get a restraining order and stop riding the bus..Yur a freak ,,im sorry to say!! To me i think its to late..if u ask her out shes goin to slap u and tell u to **** off. i wud back up dude yur way to obessed. people like u scare the **** out of me.

    She's stopped smiling 'cause he needs to work HARDER to get her attention. People have given wonderful suggestion I just know she will respond to (crotch stroking is a personal fav of mine).
    Also does she have pets?

    A bunny.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    Dont know what is funnier, this post or the fact that a few people are taking this seriously.

    Thanks for this, it made me laugh.
  • mirthegeologist
    mirthegeologist Posts: 143 Member
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    Why don't you wear your "Three Wolf Moon" shirt ? The lady will then start following YOU around.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
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    have you considered sending her parts of your cadavers? I once had my heart won with an ear and a left nut

    Now I want everyone to look at Byn's pic and tell me it isn't perfect! Do it NOW!

    to make it simpler...
    1275380_5746.jpg

    *sniff* That's just beautiful *sniff*
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    Well these are all pretty good suggestions, but I'm going to throw in my own:

    You need to start taking polaroid pictures of her, anytime, anywhere..but (listen carefully), she cannot know you're doing this b/c it will ruin the surprise. Once you have about 100 or so photos of her, get some candles, thumb tacks and a pig's heart (please don't use your own...not at this stage of wooing).

    When she's not home, access her house with the above items and build her a shrine in her bedroom. Use the thumb tacks to fasten the photos of her on the wall where the head of the bed is. Genlty place the fresh pig's heart in the middle of the bed surrounded by romantic items such as candles, rose pettals or semen. Leave quickly.

    When she arrives home from a hard day at work, she will find her shrine and immediatley smile - she now knows someone out there cares and finds her beautiful. Wait 5 minutes, then call her - disguise your voice to add to the mystique (women love a mysterious man!). Tell her that you've been watching her and that she's meant to be with you forever. Tell her that you will see her soon, then hang up the phone. Playing a little hard to get will really get her juices flowing and want more from you.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    Well these are all pretty good suggestions, but I'm going to throw in my own:

    You need to start taking polaroid pictures of her, anytime, anywhere..but (listen carefully), she cannot know you're doing this b/c it will ruin the surprise. Once you have about 100 or so photos of her, get some candles, thumb tacks and a pig's heart (please don't use your own...not at this stage of wooing).

    When she's not home, access her house with the above items and build her a shrine in her bedroom. Use the thumb tacks to fasten the photos of her on the wall where the head of the bed is. Genlty place the fresh pig's heart in the middle of the bed surrounded by romantic items such as candles, rose pettals or semen. Leave quickly.

    When she arrives home from a hard day at work, she will find her shrine and immediatley smile - she now knows someone out there cares and finds her beautiful. Wait 5 minutes, then call her - disguise your voice to add to the mystique (women love a mysterious man!). Tell her that you've been watching her and that she's meant to be with you forever. Tell her that you will see her soon, then hang up the phone. Playing a little hard to get will really get her juices flowing and want more from you.

    Wow, you are good at this! I know where I'm going next time I need love advice. :love:
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    Very simple: break into her house night after night and stand over her whilst she sleeps.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    Very simple: break into her house night after night and stand over her whilst she sleeps.

    Don't forget to take photos, otherwise how would she know you're doing it.

    Or even better, leave a polaroid of you stood over her, on her bedside table. Imagine her surprise in the morning, she'll barely be able to contain herself! A few drops of blood say 'I love you'
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    Very simple: break into her house night after night and stand over her whilst she sleeps.

    Don't forget to take photos, otherwise how would she know you're doing it.

    Or even better, leave a polaroid of you stood over her, on her bedside table. Imagine her surprise in the morning, she'll barely be able to contain herself! A few drops of blood say 'I love you'

    Make some recordings of you voicing your love and intentions then place under her pillow.
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 236 Member
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    I think you should just sweetly ask her to sit on your lap next time you see her. Tell her you just want to talk about "whatever comes up."

    I cant do that. She will crush my TI-84. I know it's the best calculator money can buy and I am sure it is tested but do you really think it can support 500+lbs of weight?

    Honestly,

    I think she will say something like is that a TI-84 I'm sitting on or are you happy to see me?

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