Forgiveness - how do you do it???

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  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    -Love yourself. You and only you can love yourself more than anyone else in the world.
    -Learn to accept that others can be flawed, emotionally distorted, and/or cruel, yet you are beyond their lows. Be above the worst capability of hate a human being can have, for you have learned to surpass it all.
    -Move forward. The more we hold onto our pasts, the grudges and any pain residing will effect our future. Live today as though tomorrow may never come, look at tomorrow as a new beginning to your life.
    -Forgive yourself. The act of forgiveness can never be sincere if you have never forgiven yourself for your own faults.

    Reading is easier than the act itself, though it's worth to take the chance to start somewhere.

    I like this...for me forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. They will go on no matter. It's all about healing yourself and not carrying around unresolved baggage.
  • editnonnalynn
    editnonnalynn Posts: 495 Member
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    I was HORRIBLE to my parents as a teen. They forgave me even though I made them cry, i made them change their plans, I scared them, hurt them, and shamed them. And they looked past that WAY before I changed. Now when I get hurt, I remember that I was forgiven. We don't care about things because they are lovely. Things are lovely because we care about them.

    We tend to say, "How can I forgive them...They HURT me!!" Well, if they hadn't hurt me, I would have nothing to forgive.

    Grace and Peace be multiplied to you.
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
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    Forgiveness is a choice and a process. It's more likely to be sucessful if it is attempted at the right time (ie not too soon, when your rights may be further violated) and in the right manner (ie by being clear about what it is and aiming for something achievable.)

    Forgiveness is not about excusing, pardoning, condoning. Forgiveness is about accepting the facts of what was done.

    The cost of not forgiving is that the person who hurt you and their acts against you stay with you always, perpetuating the damage done. Forgiveness is an act of kindness to oneself. It is not done for the person who hurt you. It is a gift you choose to give to them that they do not deserve and need never know about.

    The act of forgiveness takes time and committment, Much like weight loss, there may be many false starts, good days and bad days. It is possible to forgive anything and the psychological and quality of life benefits to the giver are huge.

    Sometimes it helps to forgive in stages. Buddhist philosophy has a substantial cross over with aspects of psychotherapy. One of their approaches is to begin the process of forgiveness in a meditation in an alternative universe. If you are interested in this there is more information in this presentation. It's way too long, but ends with a description of this approach.

    http://www.ombudsmanwatch.org/forgiveness.ppt

    Good luck :flowerforyou:

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