How do I avoid crabs?

245

Replies

  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    All you need to do is replace crabs with twinkies and you will lose the weight, as long as you eat below your calorie limit. I don't know why people need to make things so complicated.

    twinkies= good heart health.. heres a pic to prove it!

    twinkie.jpg
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  • Elen_Sia
    Elen_Sia Posts: 638 Member
    This topic is seriously making me LOL like hell at work. :laugh:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Based on the title, I was going to tell you to "use protection." But then I started reading. One of the best ways to keep your crabs low is to avoid poisonous sugar.

    Protection won't really help, since they live in the hair and all. Just make sure your date isn't scratching and stay off the beach. I'm not sure which crabs you're trying to avoid. ;-)
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    Why would you be avoiding crabs? Did your doctor tell you to?

    My doctor said crabs were fine, but MFP forum advice is more reliable.


    this is very true.. we here take pride on our ability to find articles on the interwebs that back our opinions no matter how absurd.. so.. do not eat crabs, eggs, fish, especially cod.. no leafy green stuff.. do not take any vitamins, or medications and remember that if you exercise its ok to eat those calories earned.. and to do it eating chineese food and drinking copius amounts of beer..


    site: www.absurdbeliefsformfp.com/forum/research.html

    i hate when i put something really funny and it goes to the last post and no one sees it..


    what? im not shamelessly reposting this in the middle so that people will read it..
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    This topic is seriously making me LOL like hell at work. :laugh:

    your hat is making me lol at work..
  • TropicalKitty
    TropicalKitty Posts: 2,298 Member
    It's not the crabs that are bad for you, it's the sea water they are in that is bad. So get the land crabs. They're little, but they'll keep you busy.
  • xoTLCxo
    xoTLCxo Posts: 185 Member
    Avoid college bars, and don't pick up chicks after 2am
    ^^^^^ This !! :drinker:
  • mckshowie
    mckshowie Posts: 210 Member
    Avoid brothels and Red Lobster.

    thanks for the giggle.
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    Avoid college bars, and don't pick up chicks after 2am
    ^^^^^ This !! :drinker:

    what if im so hideous i have to wait til after 2 to come out?
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    Avoid crabs at all costs. But the imitation "Krab" is just fine.

    I heard you get them from an imitation lover?
  • TheLukePhone
    TheLukePhone Posts: 30 Member
    OMG.. I laughed quite loudly at that ecard.

    Awesome. :)

    I'm battling the bulge of the middle myself, it's a process for sure. :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Why would you be avoiding crabs? Did your doctor tell you to?

    My doctor said crabs were fine, but MFP forum advice is more reliable.

    I am SO glad you realized this. Everyday I see people listening to quacks when the forums are like a ba-jillion times more accurate and knowledgable than some quack. I mean who know where they go their license? Do you? I didn't think so. I'll stick to the people here who I KNOW know their stuff.

    That's why when I'm doubled over in pain, I come here first!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Crabs are pinchy, but you can probably outrun them.
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  • FinalOutrage
    FinalOutrage Posts: 77
    PRO TIP: Don't look at them.

    Problem solved.
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
    I once asked my friends little brother how to catch crabs.. His response was brilliant..

    "With a bucket"

    Smart little lad :laugh:
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Why would you be avoiding crabs? Did your doctor tell you to?

    My doctor said crabs were fine, but MFP forum advice is more reliable.

    I am SO glad you realized this. Everyday I see people listening to quacks when the forums are like a ba-jillion times more accurate and knowledgable than some quack. I mean who know where they go their license? Do you? I didn't think so. I'll stick to the people here who I KNOW know their stuff.

    Jesus told me crabs were tasty and delicious though. Since he knows it all, I will listen to him....

    Oh. My. God. Like jesus H. Christ is just sitting around all, "Hey, Holy ghost, I'ma go tell Elizabeth about the glory that is eatin' the crabs."

    And even if he decided to it's not like he can talk. He's a little baby in a freakin' MANGER! God! This is what upset me about X-ians: their reliance on obviously disprovable scenarios.
  • spiceshirl
    spiceshirl Posts: 177
    I heard pizza is a vegetable now so you should probably eat lots of those.

    Good luck.

    edit: crabs, heh.

    lol am cracking up!!
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    I can't even bring myself to read the responses. The title alone made me burst into inappropriate laughter for the office place!
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    Thanks for the best laugh Ive had in days. You guys rock.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    Eggs, meat, veggies, (I would skip corn, and carrots) and fruit. I eat wasa crackers for the whole grain. The light Rye are really good! Eat clean no processed junk. The weight will fall off.

    Good luck.
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    Why would you be avoiding crabs? Did your doctor tell you to?

    My doctor said crabs were fine, but MFP forum advice is more reliable.

    I am SO glad you realized this. Everyday I see people listening to quacks when the forums are like a ba-jillion times more accurate and knowledgable than some quack. I mean who know where they go their license? Do you? I didn't think so. I'll stick to the people here who I KNOW know their stuff.

    Jesus told me crabs were tasty and delicious though. Since he knows it all, I will listen to him....

    Oh. My. God. Like jesus H. Christ is just sitting around all, "Hey, Holy ghost, I'ma go tell Elizabeth about the glory that is eatin' the crabs."

    And even if he decided to it's not like he can talk. He's a little baby in a freakin' MANGER! God! This is what upset me about X-ians: their reliance on obviously disprovable scenarios.


    "dear 8 pound.. 6 oz.. newborn infant jesus.. dont even know a word yet.. "
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Why would you be avoiding crabs? Did your doctor tell you to?

    My doctor said crabs were fine, but MFP forum advice is more reliable.

    I am SO glad you realized this. Everyday I see people listening to quacks when the forums are like a ba-jillion times more accurate and knowledgable than some quack. I mean who know where they go their license? Do you? I didn't think so. I'll stick to the people here who I KNOW know their stuff.

    That's why when I'm doubled over in pain, I come here first!

    I will not make a dirty joke, I will not make a dirty joke, I will not make a...
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Belly button

    (Just because I can.)

    And, for the record, you don't want your belly button pierced by a crab.
  • Lib_B
    Lib_B Posts: 446 Member
    shave....*down there* it will detract onlookers from your belly fat...
  • w_i_n_d_y
    w_i_n_d_y Posts: 216 Member
    Watch where the tacos you eat come from.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Eggs, meat, veggies, (I would skip corn, and carrots) and fruit. I eat wasa crackers for the whole grain. The light Rye are really good! Eat clean no processed junk. The weight will fall off.

    Good luck.

    Wait. What? Is this a "real" answer? Ha!
  • CandiceCandyCane81
    CandiceCandyCane81 Posts: 67 Member
    OH WOW!!!!! THANKS FOR THE MONDAY MORNING LAUGH:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Why would you be avoiding crabs? Did your doctor tell you to?

    My doctor said crabs were fine, but MFP forum advice is more reliable.

    I am SO glad you realized this. Everyday I see people listening to quacks when the forums are like a ba-jillion times more accurate and knowledgable than some quack. I mean who know where they go their license? Do you? I didn't think so. I'll stick to the people here who I KNOW know their stuff.

    Jesus told me crabs were tasty and delicious though. Since he knows it all, I will listen to him....

    Oh. My. God. Like jesus H. Christ is just sitting around all, "Hey, Holy ghost, I'ma go tell Elizabeth about the glory that is eatin' the crabs."

    And even if he decided to it's not like he can talk. He's a little baby in a freakin' MANGER! God! This is what upset me about X-ians: their reliance on obviously disprovable scenarios.

    Jeebuz loves you.

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