Ok. So I've never done a dating site. POF experience after 1

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  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    A friend HERE is having fun there and reccomended/suggested/encouraged me to go look

    I've always shied away from dating sites, just not my thing.

    And now I've got 15 or so "wants to meets" people yet NONE are ones I want to meet.

    Anyone had success there? I'm doubting this is an effective way.

    First off, I met my wife on Match.com. It's true that there are a lot of *kitten* on there that you have to weed through to find anyone of any quality.

    Second, I'm SHOCKED that you can't find someone that you want to meet on your first day.

    Third, yes, you have to put some work in. God forbid you actually put forth some effort to get a reward worth having. Of course, if you are just going to mess it up anyway, then by all means, save yourself the work.

    And fourth, it's probably good that you are moving on to another dating site since MFP doesn't appear to be working for you.


    I read this laughing

    I think because you know the last person I dated


    It's really an observation / question thread and I don't feel very confident id find what you did online.


    And OMG, 57 pages that meet "my criteria"? Time to whittle it down I guess
  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    I used Match.com and it worked for me.
    My wife and I have been happily married for almost 10 years now.

    There's a secret to being successful with online dating sites.
    HONESTY

    You have to be honest in how you present yourself and be very specific about what you like and dislike in a mate.
    If you do that, you will weed out a lot of the folks that don't meet your criteria.
    Insist upon recent photos, and delete anyone that is stalling on sending a picture.

    Good luck :)

    Haha. Wow.

    So many things I haven't thought about.
  • rthompson81
    rthompson81 Posts: 305 Member
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    I've done them all: POF, Match, eHarmony, etc. and honestly, each time I've signed up (multiple times for each one, hoping this time will be different) I go on a few awkward or strange first dates, rarely a second, and then get frustrated with the low-quality dating pool. I've had much better luck meeting people through friends, volunteer activities, parties. There's something about meeting someone on the internet that has such an artificiality about it that it's hard to make a real personal connection when you meet, at least in my experience.
  • ubermagee
    ubermagee Posts: 57
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    I met my boyfriend of 5 months on POF. He wasn't one of my 'wants to meet' either - he requested to see me, but I wanted to chat a little longer - then we finally went out on our first date and I fell for him, hook line and sinker :)
  • BriskaPacojame
    BriskaPacojame Posts: 197
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    I just got this in a message on POF, like seriously just this morning, and um, what do I say back haha

    Oh glorious beauty who's beauty is glorious and everlasting, I would ride a rabid
    elephant through diamond-tipped thorn bushes while fighting off Plutonian Killbeasts
    with only the vision of your loveliness for protection, all for the chance to fight the
    dinosaur robots who held you captive in their inpenetrable fortress of penetration and
    conquest.
    4463764.png
  • Slice1
    Slice1 Posts: 193 Member
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    After I left my husband, I went on POF. I met a lot of people, some of whom I'm still friends with.

    I met one guy that I was in a relationship with for 8 months. Didn't work out but that's ok.

    Then I met my current boyfriend. First we were friends for almost a year, without meeting in person. We just emailed and were friends on FB. Then we finally met December of 2009 and consider that first date to be our anniversary. There was no looking back.
    We've been living together for about two years. And we just bought a house together.

    You often have to weed out the few good ones from the bad though.
  • MrsORourke
    MrsORourke Posts: 315 Member
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    I've made some good male friends via POF...but that's all they became were friends. I actually met my fiancee via Craigslist. :heart: Oh, I know...the shame!! :tongue:
  • jaclyndanette
    jaclyndanette Posts: 46
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    I wasn't on POF, but I was on match. I met a lot of great guys and had a lot of fun. After I few months, I started dating one guy exclusively and now, nearly 5 years later, we're engaged and getting married in Sept 2013. I've had other relationships from online dating sites as well. I think as long as you're open minded and know that not every date is going to be with "the one," then you'll be able to find what you're looking for.
  • merrylea
    merrylea Posts: 34 Member
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    Met some crazies on POF a few years ago! But good luck.

    I did POF for a while, and I have to concur with the crazy bit. I did, however, have fabulous sucess on Match.com. I went on plenty of dates with nice guys (not good for watching your waistline with all the food and drinks though!) and ended up meeting my fiancee as well! We probably would have never met organically, although I did see him before we went on a date while I was on a date with someone else. :)

    What I did before I went on a date with someone is get their full name. Wisconsin (where I live) has a court record website where you can see if they have a criminal history. I know that the UK is a bit more strict on the privacy law, but there is nothing wrong with googling the person!

    Good luck!
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    I would never have the nerve to meet someone through an online site. I'm way too shy and can't even do blind dates. Destined to be single forever, I am!
  • feb06momma
    feb06momma Posts: 169
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    Okcupid is a much better site. Pof is a site where people are just looking for *kitten* basically lol

    This! I met my bf of 11 months on OkCupid. There seems to be a better quality of people on there than POF.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    OK.....wth is POF?
  • brendansmom1
    brendansmom1 Posts: 530 Member
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    You never know what you are going to find, that is true. Many people try free sites like POF before they invest in a paid one.....Personally, I was on POF for a few months, met one guy who I am great friends with still, and met the love of my life too...we have been together 2 years :)

    Just be careful and be smart.....and have fun meeting new friends :)
  • jchrisman717
    jchrisman717 Posts: 780 Member
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    Plenty of Fish - online dating site. Did alot of online dating before I met my husband. Lots of weeding through on POF - no great matches but met some nice guys. I actually did a fitness site that worked better for me - as far as guys were better quality and seemed to be sincere about meeting for long term potential. No match there either - but it was a fun dating time. Met my husband in a little hole in wall bar - lol. You just never know!
  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    Ok well. it has been INTERESTING to say the least since its only been since last night. I really don't think I could put up with this much interaction very long and I feel a little bad hitting "no" on the meet up requests.

    I've actually seen a couple of profiles of people I think I've seen before. This is a small area where I am

    Pro tip: Intimate encounter DOES not mean standing in your personal space. Use that with caution because BAM, flood of messages. Haha.

    I really don't know if I'd follow through with meeting someone from there but it has opened my mind a little to the concept. I mean the last woman I dated I met here, and the one before that was a friend of a friend on FB so what's really the difference.


    POF = plenty of fish .com
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Plenty of Fish - online dating site.

    thank you, LOL
  • jchrisman717
    jchrisman717 Posts: 780 Member
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    Also - I was not into it to "chat" with people online. So I had a rule - a few e-mails and either we set up a meet for a drink night or I deleted them. It is no different than meeting someone in a bar, at a grocery store, etc. You can just cover more ground. Be picky and know what you want and don't be afraid to either not meet someone because of a feeling and ask to meet soon - if they are truly on there to find people to date - meeting and seeing whether that connection is there in person is a must.
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I did the online thing before I got married. One site matched me with two guys I worked with. I took down my ad in a matter of minutes because they were ok co-workers, but weren't good matches. Used another site and the only positive thing to come of it was a really cool friend I still keep in touch with. Ended up marrying a guy I've been friends with for a gazillion years and had always just hung out with. Go figure.

    I did get a heck of a lot of good "first...and not gonna get a second date" stories using online dating sites though, including one about this guy who started making a bunch of racial slurs about the other people in the restaurant, not knowing that several of my family members were married to people who fell into the category of THOSE people. (Yeah, No second date for him.)

    Then there was the other guy who ordered everything I ordered so that he "could experience what was eating." He then asked me what I enjoyed doing and said those were the only things he enjoyed doing too. He ended the date with a hug that lingered too long and could best be compared to that scene in "Of Mice and Men" where Lennie hugs the puppy.

    And my husband did the online thing before we started dating. His date ended up sharing her complete medical history in the first half hour of the date.

    If you go into it with an open mind and don't expect anything, it's a fun and nice way to meet people to talk to. I've got several friends who are with people they've met online. We're going to a wedding this fall for such a couple. Another set of friends met playing "Mafia Wars" on FB.

    My advice? Get a disposable email address that you can pitch if/when you need to. Nothing that tracks back to your full name or what you do, in case you find a creeper/stalker chick that you need to ditch. (They're out there.) Assuming you're looking for something to eventually turn long term, make sure that your screen name on the site doesn't completely scare away the type of person you'd like to meet, either because it screams "I'm a male wh*re" or "I'm irresponsible" or it quietly wimpers "I have no backbone and would like a lot of grief."

    Good luck with it!
  • lmd172
    lmd172 Posts: 172
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    I just got this in a message on POF, like seriously just this morning, and um, what do I say back haha

    Oh glorious beauty who's beauty is glorious and everlasting, I would ride a rabid
    elephant through diamond-tipped thorn bushes while fighting off Plutonian Killbeasts
    with only the vision of your loveliness for protection, all for the chance to fight the
    dinosaur robots who held you captive in their inpenetrable fortress of penetration and
    conquest.
    4463764.png

    really? just wow! i can't even imagine or try to put into words how you'd respond to that garbage? i'd probably delete it! (-:

    i was on PoF for a while and like the OP my phone blew up with all the messages and 'meet up' etc. i met and dated (for about 6 mos) a pretty nice guy last May but it didn't work out for us...

    good luck banks -
  • cobes24
    cobes24 Posts: 132 Member
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    My boyfriend and I met over 2 yrs ago on POF--he's by far the best guy I've ever dated. I never would have met him otherwise--we live about 45 mi apart, and he's much too cheap to ever be on a dating site that's not free.

    I had used online dating a few times in the past, and I have to say i thoroughly enjoyed it. I am very laid back and love talking to new people, so it suited me well. I work in healthcare so mainly with other women, but I"m not a fan of mixing dating with work anyway--too much drama if it doesn't work out. I met some fun people, and even enjoyed the bad dates (and boy did I have some bad ones!) I feel a bad date makes a good story, thus "Two Date" Shane and "I Wrote a Math Textbook" Mike will never be forgotten.

    That being said, there are plenty of creepers on POF (esp since it's free) but there are plenty of weirdos at the bar too. If you like talking to new folks and you're wanting to meet people that you wouldn't otherwise, online is a great place. If you have a hard time talking to new people or have a lot of preconceived expectations for every date, or tend to fall in love and plan your imaginary wedding with every person you meet, then it's not the best idea.

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