Significant other not going to work/school when they say the

Options
13567

Replies

  • Hernandeak11
    Hernandeak11 Posts: 351 Member
    Options
    I used to lie about going to class because I wanted to sleep in, and didn't want to seem lazy lol

    "I'd rather be a lazy liar instead" :yawn:

    Yep! I was a "lazy, lying, stoner" when I was 19. It was fun, but not a sustainable lifestyle.

    Now I'm 22 and almost finished with my 2nd degree, and in the healthiest relationship of my life :)
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    Options
    u don't wanna know.
    I would set myself FREE. NO room for dishonesty in MY bed. NONE. I don't tolerate it at any level for ANY reason.
    free is better
  • StephinWA
    StephinWA Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    If you have a gut feeling that he/she is cheating, then find out on your own what's going on so you have the information you need when you talk about it. If you have a strong relationship and have no other reasons for suspicion, just ask.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Options
    I would have to find out what they are doing instead, just to make sure nothing other than lying is going on. Also it gives you more evidence when you have to confront them. But boy o boy would I be super pissed!!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Options
    I'd cut them loose.

    Dishonesty is the worst thing that can happen to a relationship.

    My wife doesn't report to me and doesn't need my permision for anything and that goes both ways, but neither of us lies to the other for any reason.
  • ninaquelinda
    ninaquelinda Posts: 136
    Options
    Doesn't sound good but find out the facts before you react.
  • Tree72
    Tree72 Posts: 942 Member
    Options
    Talk to them and find out what's really happening. Maybe there's some reasonable explanation. Or maybe they're having trouble and afraid/embarrassed to ask for help. Sometimes people do things like this when they are suffering with depression and don't feel up to dealing with it.
  • Hope1971
    Hope1971 Posts: 111 Member
    Options
    Personally I wouldn't waste my time asking them anything because if they are lying about that there are lying about a whole lot more than that...so for me recon would be in order. I believe what I see and seeing the facts for myself. So i would make arrangement to find out exactly where they were going and then after I have busted them, then I would confront the situations with the facts that I already know.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
    Options
    Mine DID do this once. He was supposed to be going to serve his community service, I went up to the animal shelter at lunch and they said he was not there. I was furious. I drove by his mom's house, and his truck was there. I knocked, told him mom what was going on, and went in and woke him up. Just told him I thought that since he was working SO HARD, I should bring him some lunch...... and that he better enjoy it, because it is much better than the food he would soon be eating in jail. He was REALLY embarrassed.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I had a friend of mine pretend to go to work for almost two weeks before his wife caught him. She called the office to ask him some question, and found out he had been let go two weeks ago. He was simply too embarrassed to tell his wife, and was working his butt off trying to find a new job.

    What he did wasn't right, but it wasn't the worst possible scenario either. Talk about it.

    I forgot. I actually read a novel about this. It was called The Pursuit of Other Interests and was quite good. Highly recommend.
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    Options
    I would get really suspicious! Maybe get a bright spotlight and give'em the third degree. I can make you taaaalk.:huh: :huh:
  • NewMeKP
    NewMeKP Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    I would ask them why they weren't there! If you know for a fact they weren't where they said they were and that person blatantly lies to your face then you have a problem. Obviously there is something to hide otherwise there would be no reason to destroy the trust between each other!
  • ahealthy4u
    ahealthy4u Posts: 442 Member
    Options
    Just talk to them that is all you can do.
  • NNAhuja
    NNAhuja Posts: 669 Member
    Options
    I actually had this happen to me. My then s/o dropped out of school and didn't tell me for whatever reason. We didn't go to the same school so I didn't find out until he eventually told me. I was upset that he dropped out because I wanted us both to go to school to be better for the other. He just wasn't mentally ready for the disciplined life of school. We broke up because he wasn't exactly supportive of me continuing with school. 4 years later he's wrapping up his AA and I'm finishing my MS and we have both moved on.
  • hersheythecat
    hersheythecat Posts: 128 Member
    Options
    I'm going to go a different direction than anybody else so far... Sometimes I tell my wife I'm going to work and I will get up, shower, dress, and leave like I'm going to work. I go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee and wait for her to go to work. Then I go back to the house and work on projects that I need to get done around the house. If I tell her I'm taking the day off, some of her projects will get put on my to-do list. Another time I did this, I stayed home and put up all of the Christmas decorations on the outside of the hosue for my wife. I always tell my wife when she gets home what I've done. She just HATES me using my vacation for house projects. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. It sounds like you have the need for a sit down talk...!!!

    This... I find that if people know I'm home from work, my day never ends up being MY day. Sometimes a person just wants a day to themsevles.

    That being said, I would definitely just ask them.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    I used to lie about going to class because I wanted to sleep in, and didn't want to seem lazy lol

    "I'd rather be a lazy liar instead" :yawn:

    Yep! I was a "lazy, lying, stoner" when I was 19. It was fun, but not a sustainable lifestyle.

    Now I'm 22 and almost finished with my 2nd degree, and in the healthiest relationship of my life :)

    Bam! I'm super happy for you. :heart:
  • helpmelose2011
    helpmelose2011 Posts: 125 Member
    Options
    Follow them and find out where they are going and what they are doing. If its bad then I'd confront them.
  • BootcampJunkie
    BootcampJunkie Posts: 69 Member
    Options
    The story of my life. My spouse routinely doesnt go to work, stay at work or is late for work. He hasn't had a full 80 hour paycheck in 2 years. And this is no exageration. He misses work for doctor appointments, dentist appointments, anxiety attacks, poor weather, sick, too sore from hockey the night before, too tired, or just bored of the work he was doing that day. It is frustrating because we work for the same company and the routinely quiz me on why he is absent. He was told if he is late again they are firing him. He has been suspended because of his attendence. He knows that if he is to be fired because of this, I am gone.

    This routine places alot of stress on our relationship so I suggest address it now before it turns into a regular habit like I am dealing with now. Good luck.
  • cgrout78
    cgrout78 Posts: 1,679 Member
    Options
    I kicked him out. My oldest son's dad was doing this for a few months. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I kicked him out and ended our relationship. I couldn't support him and my son.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    If I catch someone in a lie, I will make them lie a little more so that I can really bust them.

    "So how was work honey?" "What did you do in school today? Oh, that's cool. Was Brittany there? How is she doing?"

    See how far they'll go before they trip up. Then drop the hammer.

Categories