why do women tend to reject guys going in the militar
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my husband is an Airborne Ranger in the Army. Some women are to selfish, needy, clingy, jealous, and well, just aren't woman enough to handle being in a relationship or being married to a soldier....
wow! REALLY? My man is gone 9 days in 5 days out, and while he's "in" i take care of HIS 9 year old child that has a brain injury because his mother was a closet junky...now you tell me that I'm not WOMAN enough to handle being married to a soldier! Seriously lady i'm sure your husband is happy when he's deployed so he doesn't have to sit and listen to you!
Ummm....I'm pretty sure she didn't say just because you aren't married to a Soldier doesn't mean that you couldn't handle it. Chill. All I read in that statement was SOME women aren't cut out to be a military spouse, which is obviously true based on some of the posts in this thread.0 -
"Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people."
My son is in the army. He would not think of "killing kids". He would rather give his own life than kill an innocent. You FOOL. I can't STAND people like you who hear something bad about a group and then throw all into it. It's really a prejudice act on your part. fool.
^ This.0 -
Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.
I cannot say what I am thinking because I would be banned from this website!
You have clearly not met any military person before, I think you should keep your ignorant coments for yourself!
I am ashamed to be a human being like you.
Military people have a great deal of responsabilities and I am proud to be with a military men that went to Afghanistan to help liberate this country!
You should either, stay in your hole and not say anything else or get out and talk to people you ignorant person!0 -
Indeed! "needy, clingy, weak, insecure" - hmmm, I wonder what people who are in the military/married to someone in the military think of civilians.
From personal experience, it's the opposite. Military men are USUALLY with needy, clingy, weak, insecure women.
I was just enjoying the responses until this. This is the stupidest statement I have heard here.0 -
Exactly. My husband was in the NAVY when we married got out but we are going back. My husband is amazing. I think only needy girls would reject you because of that.Rather than question why "women reject military guys" perhaps you should ask what kind of women you're attracted to. Needy, clingy, insecure women are not going to be able to handle it. Women who refuse to move away from their moms/family/friends aren't going to be able to handle it. Women who are strong, independent, and know that their mom/family/friends are only a phone call or Skype away are better suited to deal with the military lifestyle. Ditto women who instead of fretting over every little things, tend to just roll with the punches.
My husband was a military reservist when we met. It did worry me a bit that he might get deployed. After we got married he got a job working middle management at one of the big 3 auto companies. He worked 7 days/week 10-12 hours/day. I was married but still single as someone else put it. (No, not single as in dating. Just single as in alone a lot.) When we had kids it was the same way. It was hard. But we managed. Just because someone isn't military doesn't mean you'll be with them from 5pm - 7am every day.
In 2003 my husband was activated with the reserves and sent to Iraq. Aside from the worry over his safety that was actually easier than when he was working 76 hours/week. It might sound weird but it's true. The kids and I got onto a schedule and we just did what we had to do. I was able to IM with hubby and talk on the phone once a week or so. He was gone a total of 14 months.
These days he works for the government and spends 6 months a year in Afghanistan. Again, it sucks but we're a strong enough couple and family that we manage. Times have changed since 2003 though and now when he's gone he can call much more often and even has a phone number that is a stateside number so it's not like calling to/from another country but to/from another state. It makes for much clearer and cheaper calls. We can also Skype which is really nice.
We will have been married for 19 years next month. He'll likely be gone before then. If so then we'll still have only celebrated 14 actual anniversaries on the same continent. (Iraq 2003-2004, Kuwait 2006-2007, Afghanistan last year) But you just do what you have to do and keep moving forward.
I think a lot of people also only really look at the negatives. Yes, you move around a lot. If she has a career it can be really difficult to even maintain her professional status. I'm fortunate enough to work from home for my own business. My husband had an opportunity to work in Germany in 2009 for what was supposed to be 2-5 years. The kids and I moved there too. My business in done almost exclusively via email so location wasn't an issue. We were only able to stay in Germany for 1 1/2 years but we loved it. That's a huge perk of being in the military/the spouse of someone in the military. You get to live in places many people only dream of ever even visiting and if they do manage to get there it costs a lot of money. With the military you get to live there, really get to see what the people/culture/etc are like and the government pays you to do so. If you have kids it's even better. You get to literally give them the world.
Our boys went to 4th and 7th grades in Germany. During the 1 1/2 years we were there they visited 10 countries. When they are in school now studying world history they can say "Yes, I know about Anne Frank. I was in her house." or "I know about D-Day. We camped on the beach at Normandy with our boy scout troop." When learning European geography it's not just memorizing it's remembering. They know where Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Holland, Poland, Austria, etc are not because they memorized a map but because the have been there. Even without being military our lives have been a lot like that of a military family since 2003. The times apart suck. But being able to literally give your kids the world is absolutely priceless.
If I could do it all over again not only would I but I'd have encouraged hubby to become career military or even have gone that route myself. But it's all in the attitude. I got off that plane in Germany anxious to learn the culture and language and experience everything I could. I knew of some people though who were bound and determined to hate it before they ever set foot there. They were the ones who tended to live on base and never leave while complaining about how much they missed being home.0 -
my husband is an Airborne Ranger in the Army. Some women are to selfish, needy, clingy, jealous, and well, just aren't woman enough to handle being in a relationship or being married to a soldier....
wow! REALLY? My man is gone 9 days in 5 days out, and while he's "in" i take care of HIS 9 year old child that has a brain injury because his mother was a closet junky...now you tell me that I'm not WOMAN enough to handle being married to a soldier! Seriously lady i'm sure your husband is happy when he's deployed so he doesn't have to sit and listen to you!
Ummm....I'm pretty sure she didn't say just because you aren't married to a Soldier doesn't mean that you couldn't handle it. Chill. All I read in that statement was SOME women aren't cut out to be a military spouse, which is obviously true based on some of the posts in this thread.
the smugness of the post got me....0 -
Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.
reported:drinker:
thankyou for reporting her
First of all, you reported a guy, so that's cool. And when you say "her" I'm guessing you were hoping I'd be the reported one...guess you didn't read the article I posted...0 -
I am a woman in the military...I have been TDY and deployed and there is usually that 1....and I mean 1 guy that doesnt cheat, mess around or disrespect his woman while gone. Being away is tough on everyone and if the woman is smart she knows she has a choice to not be with a man that will leave her and the kids. NOW....having said that, IF she really loves you, she woudnt care and would do anything to be with you. The relationship might not be worth the risk. Military relationships dont work out often. Not the say they dont EVER but I see alot of 20 some year olds working on their 3RD marraige!!! Goodluck and hopefully you are that 1 guy!0
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Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.
I cannot say what I am thinking because I would be banned from this website!
You have clearly not met any military person before, I think you should keep your ignorant coments for yourself!
I am ashamed to be a human being like you.
Military people have a great deal of responsabilities and I am proud to be with a military men that went to Afghanistan to help liberate this country!
You should either, stay in your hole and not say anything or get out and talk to people you ignorant person!
Meh...don't sweat him. The Military is the MOST trusted form of the government. I forget what the percentage was but I know we blew Congress out of the water. lol0 -
I agree!0
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There are women who will get with men in the military. It takes a certain kind of woman to get with a man that she knows she will likely have to go without seeing for months and sometimes years at a time. Not to mention she has to feel secure and confident in the relationship ... and realize that when he returns from his deployment he is going to struggle. It is hard to try to connect with a military man who comes back. You want to know he is okay, you want to know what he went through ... or even something as simple as where he was and these things are often hard for them to express to you and sometimes they can't even tell you. So as the woman you have to accept that this is the life to lead. You want to help them but you don't know how. You want to trust that his secrets end with his job and but sometimes that can be difficult. Then there is also the issue of them feeling "normal" after what they have seen or gone through. And some of them even when they are home with you, their mind is still with back with their men ... or they feel like their life here is trivial to the efforts and work they can be doing over there.
I certainly know it's not easy for them either. They are lonely and isolated. They have to also wonder if their girl is being faithful to them. And once they have been scorned then they have trust issues with all women. They look around and see their buddies getting cheated on and divorced .. and somehow it becomes acceptable to just have to move on to the next. Maybe it's because they have to do this with their jobs. They compartmentalize everything and everyone.
And when they do find a lady who is willing to put in the effort, to understand and accept all the circumstances ... well they flip the switch and push her away.
A military relationship is probably one of the most difficult. It will take the right person and equal effort and dedication. The better each of you can open up and communicate .. the more you can connect even by distance ... and a solid foundation of trust will allow for a healthy relationship.
But, I suppose they key is finding that person and learning to appreciate them when you do.0 -
Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.
I cannot say what I am thinking because I would be banned from this website!
You have clearly not met any military person before, I think you should keep your ignorant coments for yourself!
I am ashamed to be a human being like you.
Military people have a great deal of responsabilities and I am proud to be with a military men that went to Afghanistan to help liberate this country!
You should either, stay in your hole and not say anything or get out and talk to people you ignorant person!
Meh...don't sweat him. The Military is the MOST trusted form of the government. I forget what the percentage was but I know we blew Congress out of the water. lol
If you trust any branch of the government, you haven't been paying very close attention. But hey, that's just how I feel.
Coolest thing about this country, ya know, freedom of expression...0 -
I am concerned about the characterization of girls who choose not to date military men as "needy" or "clingy." I realize that it takes a lot of strength to deal with separation for any reason, but it's a conscious choice. At this point in my life, I'm ready for a family and I don't think the best interests of children are served by absent fathers or frequent relocation (to which I was subject) -- I'd rather be with someone who makes less money but is around and stable. I also understand that military ventures are sort of a cause for some guys, but it's a cause I really don't buy into personally.
^^ This
I'm not clingy or needy but don't think I would date a military man.0 -
my husband is an Airborne Ranger in the Army. Some women are to selfish, needy, clingy, jealous, and well, just aren't woman enough to handle being in a relationship or being married to a soldier....
wow! REALLY? My man is gone 9 days in 5 days out, and while he's "in" i take care of HIS 9 year old child that has a brain injury because his mother was a closet junky...now you tell me that I'm not WOMAN enough to handle being married to a soldier! Seriously lady i'm sure your husband is happy when he's deployed so he doesn't have to sit and listen to you!
Ummm....I'm pretty sure she didn't say just because you aren't married to a Soldier doesn't mean that you couldn't handle it. Chill. All I read in that statement was SOME women aren't cut out to be a military spouse, which is obviously true based on some of the posts in this thread.
the smugness of the post got me....
I didn't think she was smug IMO. Oh well. Some spouses are uber proud to be military spouse and I say kuddos. There are plenty of jobs in the civilian sector that aren't easy for spouses and they should be proud also.0 -
I know a lot of women think men in uniform are sexy. I certainly do. (But, that's not why I married my Marine husband.)
I can only speak for myself, but if I were looking to get into a new relationship, it wouldn't be with someone joining the military. Here's why: I don't want to worry about whether or not my new boyfriend is going to die. There's a war on. I don't want to invest a bunch of time, emotions, etc. if there's a good chance he's not coming back alive. Or whole. Or without a TBI. Or with PTSD that completely changes who he is. If that's selfish, fine.
Of course, I did marry a Marine with PTSD, so...I don't know. I didn't know him before he went to Iraq though. He says he's a different person now. If I'd known him before, as the funny, happy, outgoing guy he describes I might not have been able to deal with the "new" him.0 -
Something about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.
I cannot say what I am thinking because I would be banned from this website!
You have clearly not met any military person before, I think you should keep your ignorant coments for yourself!
I am ashamed to be a human being like you.
Military people have a great deal of responsabilities and I am proud to be with a military men that went to Afghanistan to help liberate this country!
You should either, stay in your hole and not say anything or get out and talk to people you ignorant person!
Meh...don't sweat him. The Military is the MOST trusted form of the government. I forget what the percentage was but I know we blew Congress out of the water. lol
If you trust any branch of the government, you haven't been paying very close attention. But hey, that's just how I feel.
Coolest thing about this country, ya know, freedom of expression...
And I fully support your right to think that! I love this country!0 -
"Rather than question why "women reject military guys" perhaps you should ask what kind of women you're attracted to. Needy, clingy, insecure women are not going to be able to handle it. Women who refuse to move away from their moms/family/friends aren't going to be able to handle it. Women who are strong, independent, and know that their mom/family/friends are only a phone call or Skype away are better suited to deal with the military lifestyle. Ditto women who instead of fretting over every little things, tend to just roll with the punches.
My husband was a military reservist when we met. It did worry me a bit that he might get deployed. After we got married he got a job working middle management at one of the big 3 auto companies. He worked 7 days/week 10-12 hours/day. I was married but still single as someone else put it. (No, not single as in dating. Just single as in alone a lot.) When we had kids it was the same way. It was hard. But we managed. Just because someone isn't military doesn't mean you'll be with them from 5pm - 7am every day.
In 2003 my husband was activated with the reserves and sent to Iraq. Aside from the worry over his safety that was actually easier than when he was working 76 hours/week. It might sound weird but it's true. The kids and I got onto a schedule and we just did what we had to do. I was able to IM with hubby and talk on the phone once a week or so. He was gone a total of 14 months.
These days he works for the government and spends 6 months a year in Afghanistan. Again, it sucks but we're a strong enough couple and family that we manage. Times have changed since 2003 though and now when he's gone he can call much more often and even has a phone number that is a stateside number so it's not like calling to/from another country but to/from another state. It makes for much clearer and cheaper calls. We can also Skype which is really nice.
We will have been married for 19 years next month. He'll likely be gone before then. If so then we'll still have only celebrated 14 actual anniversaries on the same continent. (Iraq 2003-2004, Kuwait 2006-2007, Afghanistan last year) But you just do what you have to do and keep moving forward.
I think a lot of people also only really look at the negatives. Yes, you move around a lot. If she has a career it can be really difficult to even maintain her professional status. I'm fortunate enough to work from home for my own business. My husband had an opportunity to work in Germany in 2009 for what was supposed to be 2-5 years. The kids and I moved there too. My business in done almost exclusively via email so location wasn't an issue. We were only able to stay in Germany for 1 1/2 years but we loved it. That's a huge perk of being in the military/the spouse of someone in the military. You get to live in places many people only dream of ever even visiting and if they do manage to get there it costs a lot of money. With the military you get to live there, really get to see what the people/culture/etc are like and the government pays you to do so. If you have kids it's even better. You get to literally give them the world.
Our boys went to 4th and 7th grades in Germany. During the 1 1/2 years we were there they visited 10 countries. When they are in school now studying world history they can say "Yes, I know about Anne Frank. I was in her house." or "I know about D-Day. We camped on the beach at Normandy with our boy scout troop." When learning European geography it's not just memorizing it's remembering. They know where Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Holland, Poland, Austria, etc are not because they memorized a map but because the have been there. Even without being military our lives have been a lot like that of a military family since 2003. The times apart suck. But being able to literally give your kids the world is absolutely priceless.
If I could do it all over again not only would I but I'd have encouraged hubby to become career military or even have gone that route myself. But it's all in the attitude. I got off that plane in Germany anxious to learn the culture and language and experience everything I could. I knew of some people though who were bound and determined to hate it before they ever set foot there. They were the ones who tended to live on base and never leave while complaining about how much they missed being home."
I JUST WANT TO SAY WHOEVE WROTE THIS: THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR HUSBAND AND THANKYOU FOR BEING SUCH A STRONG WOMAN YOURSELF!
IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO MAKE ME PROUD TO LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY!
THANK YOU,
S. KNIGHT0 -
you should be to just for ignorance you seem to agreee with the postSomething about killing kids probably isn't very attractive to most people.
reported:drinker:
thankyou for reporting
First of all, you reported a guy, so that's cool. And when you say "her" I'm guessing you were hoping I'd be the reported one...guess you didn't read the article I posted...0 -
My experiance... (I married a Marine) a good lot of you are man *kitten* on deployment.
So true!! I am so glad I met my husband after he was out! Too many stories of girls in Thailand and Japan...0 -
All I am seeing is women complaining about how military men cheat. WHAT A CROCK OF BS!!! What about those soldiers that are over seas defending YOUR country sacrificing THIER lives to give you the freedoms you have whos wife is at home cheating on them because they are the needy, high maintenece type. Using the excuse" afraid to be alone", really that is the best you can come up with? I have been in the Air Force for 17 years and have been married to a faithfull wife for 13 years of it. Sometimes beeing sent over seas is the best thing for a marriage. People need to stop complaing about how "tough " they have it and relize that the world does not revolve aroung them.0
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