Having Babies is no Excuse

babybluefire

Honestly the comment having babies is no excuse is so dam hurtful.

I was in shape before I got pregnant with my first, I worked full time as a landscaper. I had a perfect pregnancy, gained only the exact 25 pounds I was told to gain. I worked out daily, I drank water. I still got stretch marks. Lost the baby weight.

Started trying for the next. Took 2 years and fertility drugs. I reacted badly and puffed up like a balloon on the fertility drugs and gained weight. Once I got pregnant I right away dropped weight then gained the required 25 pounds. I worked out daily for an hour or more, I drank water, I did everything PERFECT. Then I had an emergency c-section. It was horrific.

Now I have stretch marks and a massive uneven unsymmetrical scar. My upper body looks great, my lower body looks great. My abdomen looks like crap and nothing, absolutely nothing except surgery is going to fix the hideous scar.


So yup, I had children. Nothing baring expensive plastic surgery is going to make me pretty and perfect again. Congrats that you did not have to go threw the horror, physical and emotional pain and the life long issues I did . How wonderful for you.

Kerri_is_so_very

And I never used "well I had kids" as my excuse for being over weight, but the fact was I could not fathom being away from children more than the already 9 hours / day required for my job. So dropping them at a gym daycare after being all day at a day care was not an option. It came down to available time and with 2 little ones under 4, managing a home inside and out....you do tend to put yourself last

This is my problem. I have time to join a gym, but I feel awful because my daughter is in school and daycare after school, it seems kind of cruel to pick her up to just throw her in the gyms daycare so I can work out.
Now that she starts kindergarten this year and will be going to my moms after school, I don't feel so bad about stopping after work and working out for an hour.

I couldn't agree more!!! And even if I were still with my husband and I worked away 9 hours a day I still couldn't not spend every free minute with my little ones!!! Now they are almost 4 & 7 and there is way less guilt because they are social little girls and love their "Y time" as much as I do. They actually get bummed now if I say we aren't going due to having too much going on at home.

Most mamas I know are going full steam ahead almost always and I don't think any of us give ourselves enough credit for what we are able to do and spend too much time beating ourselves up for what we can't get done!!! All mothers inspire me in one way shape or form!!!

katemme

Are you sure you know what you're doing? You may well wait 'till after 35 then find that you're not longer able to! I'd suggest you give yourself a head start and start trying earlier.

Really? I'm turning 32 and just now thinking about trying in a year....I hate when people say crap like this. RUDE AND UNNECESSARY

I agree too...I can't stand it when people question others on when they should have children just because they're older. I'm only 29 and I am not even married yet. Everyone is different and they should respect that!

People only question it because there is PROOF that risk for the child being born with handicaps and problems for the mother getting pregnant at that age. She only meant that if you try a little earlier, and you have difficulties, they have time to figure out whats wrong before your fertility goes down. I'm only 23 and my gyn has found my uterus is odd shaped, and it may cause difficulties with pregnancy. It may require surgery, something I am worried about, but am GLAD they found it NOW rather than when it is too late for me. Your body doesn't always follow your schedule and family planning.

coconutbuNZ

Honestly the comment having babies is no excuse is so dam hurtful.

I was in shape before I got pregnant with my first, I worked full time as a landscaper. I had a perfect pregnancy, gained only the exact 25 pounds I was told to gain. I worked out daily, I drank water. I still got stretch marks. Lost the baby weight.

Started trying for the next. Took 2 years and fertility drugs. I reacted badly and puffed up like a balloon on the fertility drugs and gained weight. Once I got pregnant I right away dropped weight then gained the required 25 pounds. I worked out daily for an hour or more, I drank water, I did everything PERFECT. Then I had an emergency c-section. It was horrific.

Now I have stretch marks and a massive uneven unsymmetrical scar. My upper body looks great, my lower body looks great. My abdomen looks like crap and nothing, absolutely nothing except surgery is going to fix the hideous scar.


So yup, I had children. Nothing baring expensive plastic surgery is going to make me pretty and perfect again. Congrats that you did not have to go threw the horror, physical and emotional pain and the life long issues I did . How wonderful for you.

Sorry you had to go through such a hard time with your pregnancies and that you found this comment hurtful. I didn't appreciate it either.

Honestly, I admire and congratulate all the success stories in here but when they start gloating or preaching to others about all their "excuses" or whatever, that I find hard to tolerate. Thank you.

bugbeenz

See I don't for a second where the OP is gloating and/or preaching! I'm a firm believer that nobody can make YOU feel guilty/bad about yourself or something pertaining to your life but yourself. And I clearly can't speak for the OP, but I figured she was wanting to grab the attention of all the Mammas, like myself who have used motherhood as an excuse for being overweight/outa shape/unheathly/untoned etc

OP, you look bloody fantastic and thankyou for the kick up the *kitten*! It was lovely to see that you BF all your children as well - as BFing was kinda an extention of my pregnancy honeymoon - meaning I ate for 2 (or three for basically 4 years) - daughter weaned nearly a year ago at 26mths and I've continued eating ridiculous portion sizes with minimal physical exercise :embarassed:

I've used the 'excuse' and I'll call it an excuse of being a Mamma because for me that is exactly what it was, for far too long. I'm on my way to shedding this weight and am determined to keep it off for good.

I also have that crap looking abdomen, I have train tracks running from my boobs to past my hips and over everything in between. My body has changed dramatically since having my child, it's never going to be what it was before and that's ok - (I'm hoping to look a crapload better than before!)

Thankyou for telling your story!

TinkrBelz

Honestly the comment having babies is no excuse is so dam hurtful.

I was in shape before I got pregnant with my first, I worked full time as a landscaper. I had a perfect pregnancy, gained only the exact 25 pounds I was told to gain. I worked out daily, I drank water. I still got stretch marks. Lost the baby weight.

Started trying for the next. Took 2 years and fertility drugs. I reacted badly and puffed up like a balloon on the fertility drugs and gained weight. Once I got pregnant I right away dropped weight then gained the required 25 pounds. I worked out daily for an hour or more, I drank water, I did everything PERFECT. Then I had an emergency c-section. It was horrific.

Now I have stretch marks and a massive uneven unsymmetrical scar. My upper body looks great, my lower body looks great. My abdomen looks like crap and nothing, absolutely nothing except surgery is going to fix the hideous scar.


So yup, I had children. Nothing baring expensive plastic surgery is going to make me pretty and perfect again. Congrats that you did not have to go threw the horror, physical and emotional pain and the life long issues I did . How wonderful for you.

Sorry you had to go through such a hard time with your pregnancies and that you found this comment hurtful. I didn't appreciate it either.

Honestly, I admire and congratulate all the success stories in here but when they start gloating or preaching to others about all their "excuses" or whatever, that I find hard to tolerate. Thank you.

For those that felt my comments were hurtful, maybe you should re-read my post. I said having babies is not an excuse....that means, if you have been telling yourself that you can not lose the weight that you gained from having babies, then you are using your pregnancies as an excuse. I never mentioned fertility issues, c-sections or anything of the sort. I strictly mentioned having babies.

Also, my comments were that we may never get our perfect pre-baby bodies back, but we can work hard and get back the best body that WE can get. I still have stretch marks and loose skin when I bend over (like the other mom said, she won't due planks in just a tank bra and yoga pants...ditto) , but my tummy looks better than it did last year. I could have said, "What the heck, I am 41 years old, I have carried 6 children in my body, I have stretch marks and loose skin, why even try since I can never get back the cute body that was lost." Trust me, I had these thoughts a lot. I even gave away my smaller clothes and bought bigger clothes!!! I get the frustration.

I know for myself, I needed to see pictures of other moms that have had multiple children. Moms that were not already Hollywood actresses or professional athletes, or swimsuit models....I needed to see real moms that were able to get their body back to shape. Maybe not perfect, but the best that it could be. That inspired me to do the same. And as I became healthier and fitter, I knew that I wanted to give other moms hope to see a normal mom doing the best that she can do.

And for those that can not exercise because of busy schedule, you can control your weight from diet. Sure, you may not get those ripped abs or muscular arms, but you will lose that baby weight. When my kids were little, I watched my weight by what I ate. If I got a chance to do a little something in the house, I did...but most of the time, I could not. So, I did not overeat.

I now teach Zumba classes. I got this job after I joined the gym and decided to make myself healthier. I have all ages and all sizes of women in my class. I make sure that my classes are a hard workout, but nothing that would ever hurt any other their knees. I stay after and tell them things that they can eat, I do not want them to starve themselves. I do a lot for my working, stay home, soccer moms in my gym. I truly care about my moms in my class!!!

So, if my post offended you, then you need to look inside yourself and figure out why. My post was meant to inspire other moms that yes, our bodies have changed and they may never be pre-baby perfect....BUT we are moms and we are women and we can accomplish what we choose to accomplish!!! And if you choose that you want to lose your baby weight and you want to get the best body that you can get back....then DO IT!!! And don't get angry at me and say that I am gloating when I have been pregnant 6 times! When I have sacrificed 17 years of my body to pregnancies and breastfeeding for my children. Do you know what sort of schedule I have with 6 kids from the age of 2-17???? Imagine it for a minute, and re-think that I am gloating or preaching!! (Side note) I also nearly lost 3 children because of 1st trimester bleeding....going through ultrasounds weekly to make sure the baby that I was carrying was still alive...afraid that if I moved wrong I would hurt my baby. I bled through 3 pregnancies...so it was no cake walk for me either!

And to the other moms that have posted their success stories and success pictures...High 5 to you girls!! You get it. You decided that you were going to be the best that you can be, and you are inspiring to me and to other moms!!!

babybluefire

Your post was offensive because it is hurtful and cruel. I guarantee I have put in a hell of a lot more work then you have getting in shape and I still look the way I do. No one is going to have the same body or same results with the same amount of work. I don't need to look inside myself, I have a mirror that I can look at the outside of myself with. No hours at the gym or diet is going to fix what I look like. Getting preached at by someone who had it way easier then me is annoying, not uplifting or supportive.

TinkrBelz

Not offensive or cruel. Again, you may not look perfect, but you are working hard and getting the best that you can get without surgery! Why be angry at me for stating that I too have worked hard, I wanted to give up...but I didn't. I too have worked hard and I do not look like I did before babies. I do not look like other moms that have popped kids out and have 6 packs. But, I do not get mad at them for trying to inspire me to be my best.

It is not preaching...what about the obese women in my Zumba class that have been coming for months...do they hate me when I push them to work hard. When I come up with new routines? When I give them ways to eat? Am I preaching or am I helping them to be their best for themselves and their kids?? I make sure my routines help them and not hurt them...so you have no idea what type of person that I am or what kind of heart that I have for other moms. I love my women that take my class and I love my MFP moms because we we have the same goals and we inspire each other...and none of us feel like we are being preached at or made to feel badly about themselves!

I am sorry that you have a scarred tummy from having babies...but would you change that if you knew you would be scarred?? I bet not...it sucks that your tummy is scarred, but you have two children that you were able to carry in your body!! I have friends that can not have kids, that is heart breaking as well...yes, their tummies look great, but what they would do to have a baby in their body one time!!! So, do the best that you can do to look your best....that is all that I am saying. We may never look like super models, but we can be our best...and for each person that "best" is different!

And instead of being annoyed at me, get annoyed at any fat that you have and work it off...direct that anger to something else and not at another mom!

natashadarville

I totally agree, I have had 4 pregnancies and hopefully in 2 years a fifth. But I have not accepted being fat because of this, and I went from a size 4 to a size 8-10. 168 has been my heaviest since after giving birth and now that I have started my HCG diet I am now down to 147, my weight goal is 138!

babybluefire

Again you are still preaching and judging. Telling me to get angry at my fat instead of you when you say something hurtful and out of line is beyond ridiculous. Its not just scars. I look like something out of a horror flick. I have scar tissue that causes me considerable pain with every sit up I do, every step I take running. I have to be careful playing with my kids because if they land on my belly the excruciating pain might make me puke on the carpet. It sucks. Having children is not an excuse, having a thyroid problem is not an excuse, having stress fractures and other broken bones are not excuses. They are the reason I look the way I do.


You have a nice body, the time and energy to work out pain free. Congrats. The rest of us are just going to keep trudging along feeling a little more embarrassed and a little more humiliated because darn it having babies is no excuse.

Katie3784

I am so with you on this. I am 28 and I have a six year old and a two year old. I gained 40lbs with my first, and only lost about 20 of it in the first three years after her birth. Once I finally got down to my goal weight, I got pregnant again. I gained about 45lbs with him and lost about 25lbs in the first year. Then something clicked. While I was working out and trying hard, it was not enough. I took up pilates and started eating better, and by the time my son was 15 months old, I was down to my goal weight, which I rewarded with a boob job(desperately needed). I still have problems with the extra skin on my tummy, but other than that, I love my body now. I see all these moms who have just given up and I feel sorry for them, and also their poor husbands, especially when he is normal weight. I think women need to stop themselves before they get huge. I have never been very heavy, but I can just imagine how hard and daunting it must be for women who need to lose 100+ pounds to start on a weight loss journey. Major kudos to those who do it!

Katie3784

Great thread.

Any ladies who have had success with taking off weight and getting back into shape after multiple pregnancies, please share what exercises you did to help tone your abs.

I am trying to be patient with my body as I am only 11 weeks PP after having my fourth, but I want my flat[ter] tummy back again.

I did cardio and strength training for a year after my second child was born, but once I started pilates(at home with dvds), I noticed great results within two weeks. I have been hooked ever since.

bluberrygoo

I do not think the OP was offensive at all! I know a lot of moms who just decide to not bother getting back into shape or give up after a week or two of trying. I also know moms who had their baby and literally a week later looked as though they were never pregnant.

I am 23 and have two boys, ages 1 and 3. With both I gained about 53-55 lbs, which is a huge amount on my tiny frame. After my first son was born it took me a year to get down to 108 lbs which was 3 lbs away from my post pregnancy weight and my excess skin was almost all gone, then I found out I was pregnant again. After my second son was born, it took me about 9 months to reach 105 lbs and now he is 25 months and I'm 97 lbs with a good amount of skin hanging around my stomach. My main focus now is to toned and shrink as much skin as possible. I am so happy this thread was posted, because I was starting feel hopeless.

Also, I'm a sahm who works weekends, I have never went to a gym, I do my exercising with my children and around the ir sleeping schedules. Great post OP and you look absolutely amazing!

Edit: I am trying to get in the best shape possible for my next two pregnancies.

moepwr

Wow six kids! Kudos to you. My two keep me hopping! Thanks for the inspiration! I remember when I told my mom how much I weighed she said "oh, you can let yourself go now that you have kids and a husband." I almost strangled her! My parents are both very tiny as are my brothers. I got the other genes. But I am still small frame, I just put on more weight then they do. I just gained a lot of weight on my pregnancies. I figured if I could keep it down then I should eat it. Of course the only thing I could keep down most days were what I coined as "death muffins". They were about 600 cals each and I would eat about 6 a day plus smoothies and anything starchy. I also had a thing for cake. Either way after gaining 40 pounds and none of it going anywhere (I may be the only person to go into a hospital at one weight, have a baby, and four months later still weigh what I went into the hospital as!) I decided to start working out. At least I come to working out easily as I did a lot of exercise before getting pregnant. I had a hard time being pregnant but I know what I need to do to get in shape. For me it is more about being healthy and being able to keep up with my kids then it is about being super skinny. I live in the north so bikini season is never, parka season is year round so there is really no reason to ever show off my tummy unless we go south and even then it would be weird for me (my skin is so white I would blind people!). I think it is important to include kids in your workout. We have a jogging stroller and a bike trailer. We also bring the kids on lots of hikes and my three year old goes to a fitness class while I am at the gym. I think it is important to bring the kids with you whenever you can so they can see you being active.

Anyway, keep up the good work! All the moms look great!

april1lowe

Great story!!!! I've been doing the same, though I only have one child he did plenty of damage! I got to 187 as well and was popping out of my 16s so I had two options, buy bigger pants or loose the weight! I chose the later option I'm now 139 and a size 10 (some brands 8) which is not only the thinnest I've been but like you, bye bye flabby arms! I still love to flex just to see my bicep I'm very proud of myself and will be rocking a bikini for the first time in over 10 years! I'm not perfect and still have a "pooch" but I'm greatly improved and will only get better! Great job rocking it out after 6 kids girl!

Katie3784

Are you sure you know what you're doing? You may well wait 'till after 35 then find that you're not longer able to! I'd suggest you give yourself a head start and start trying earlier.
[/quote

Really? I'm turning 32 and just now thinking about trying in a year....I hate when people say crap like this. RUDE AND UNNECESSARY

I agree too...I can't stand it when people question others on when they should have children just because they're older. I'm only 29 and I am not even married yet. Everyone is different and they should respect that!
[/quote]
I agree that people don't need to butt into to people's lives when it comes to when they want to have kids, but it is a hard fact that after age 34 it is much harder to conceive. It is so common nowadays for women to wait until they are established in their career to start a family, but please do not disillusion yourself about how easy you think it will be to get pregnant when you decide to.

ironanimal

Wow, the claws are coming out here. Props to the OP for her continued success :drinker:

kymdarnell

Ok ladies/moms - when I first read the OPs story I was thinking "yeah, yeah, blah blah" just another bragger!!! BUT then I went back and read it again and thought - lady, you should be bragging (even though reading it back not once were you bragging) - that was my jealousy assuming you were bragging.

Also I think that us mums have to stop being so comptetive, or think that we are better than that other mom/s because of such and such for eg " you had a C section - I didn't" - "you breastfed - I didn't" - "you had 1 child - I had 4" - when I say "I" it doesn't mean me in general - some of these things I had/did - what I am trying to say is 'who cares, it doesn't matter" - we all have that ONE thing in common - our children!!!

come on, mums, lets start congratulating each other on what we have achieved - let the jealousy go....

p.s. to the OP thank you - you have inspired me when I didn't even think I needed inspiration xx

TinkrBelz

Again you are still preaching and judging. Telling me to get angry at my fat instead of you when you say something hurtful and out of line is beyond ridiculous. Its not just scars. I look like something out of a horror flick. I have scar tissue that causes me considerable pain with every sit up I do, every step I take running. I have to be careful playing with my kids because if they land on my belly the excruciating pain might make me puke on the carpet. It sucks. Having children is not an excuse, having a thyroid problem is not an excuse, having stress fractures and other broken bones are not excuses. They are the reason I look the way I do.


You have a nice body, the time and energy to work out pain free. Congrats. The rest of us are just going to keep trudging along feeling a little more embarrassed and a little more humiliated because darn it having babies is no excuse.

Then I would say that you do not know what preaching and judging is. I will ignore your negativity towards me because I feel your frustration. You are in pain and you feel ugly. That is hard on anyone. So, I will let your anger just go past me and not worry about it.

By the way, I am also Hypothryoid and take 125 mcg of synthroid. Look up coconut oil. It is suppose to help with thyroid function. I can not say that as a fact yet since I have only been eating it for one month, but I am curious to see how my next blood work comes back. Also, if you are in pain from the scars, you should see if your insurance would pay to have surgery to remove it. It would be worth a shot to see if you could be fixed especially since you can not do things with your kids...it would be worth seeing if this is possible.



To you other moms...great stories!! I love reading these and I know that other moms do too. And whenever we get frustrated, we can come back here and look at each other's pictures and read each others successes and gain stregnth!! Afraley...LOVE your profile picture!!! AWESOME!!! :drinker:

babybluefire

I will ever so kindly tell you that being in pain and having disfiguring scars has nothing to do with my reaction to your words. All it is is fat shaming directed at moms. Nothing more nothing less. Its no diffent then bullying someone who does something differently then you. I dispise bullys. Save the advice, you had me in your first post.