Having Babies is no Excuse

coconutbuNZ

Ok ladies/moms - when I first read the OPs story I was thinking "yeah, yeah, blah blah" just another bragger!!! BUT then I went back and read it again and thought - lady, you should be bragging (even though reading it back not once were you bragging) - that was my jealousy assuming you were bragging.

Also I think that us mums have to stop being so comptetive, or think that we are better than that other mom/s because of such and such for eg " you had a C section - I didn't" - "you breastfed - I didn't" - "you had 1 child - I had 4" - when I say "I" it doesn't mean me in general - some of these things I had/did - what I am trying to say is 'who cares, it doesn't matter" - we all have that ONE thing in common - our children!!!

come on, mums, lets start congratulating each other on what we have achieved - let the jealousy go....

p.s. to the OP thank you - you have inspired me when I didn't even think I needed inspiration xx

What makes you assume we are jealous? First we are "making excuses" about the weight we gained during pregnancy and now we are jealous? So many assumptions. Did it ever occur to you that it is not OPs success that is offensive, I admire and congratulate anyone who have achieved their goals. What is offensive is this mightier than thou attitude along with the accusation that we're making excuses. Sorry but I don't see that as encouragement. It is arrogance.

As I said before - what about the overweight men - what are their excuses? and if we were making excuses and just settling for the body we ended up with after having babies, stretch marks and all, would we be in here on MFP trying to lose weight, striving to get fit again and healthier? I don't think so.

Anyway, I'm going out now to enjoy this sunshine. Have a happy Easter everyone

TinkrBelz

What is offensive is this mightier than thou attitude along with the accusation that we're making excuses. Sorry but I don't see that as encouragement. It is arrogance.

As I said before - what about the overweight men - what are their excuses? and if we were making excuses and just settling for the body we ended up with after having babies, stretch marks and all, would we be in here on MFP? I don't think so.

BabyBlue and Coconut, if I had said, "BabyBlue and Coconut, stop using the fact that you have had a baby and can not lose the weight as an excuse to be overweight" But, I never mentioned either one of your names or directed anything to you. And, I have had several women post on here that they did use that excuse for a while until they decided to change!!

In fact, you two have said more rude things to me than I ever directed towards you! And a "Mightier than thou attitude" Really!!! So, any woman that posts a before picture and after picture, then encourages other women to do what they can do...to not settle for anything less is arrogant??? To not worry about being perfect or having a pre baby body, but to be your best...that is rude and offensive????

And for BabyBlue to call me a bully...really!!! Wow!! Pretty sad in my opinion.

So, to you two ladies, I say enjoy your misery. Make sure to not read other posts about successful weightloss because you might be offended and think the OP is arrogant, a bully, mightier than thou, rude, offensive....hmmmm...did I cover everything that you two called me????

I could care less what an overweight man's excuse is....I am here to help moms. I do not accept male FR and only communicate with other women. And FYI, men can get stretch marks too!!

I would also like to add, that every post that I make on other people's thread is always positive and up lifting. I come on here to have fun, to learn from others, and to spread what I have learned. I feel very sorry for people that enjoy spreading their misery to others!

I despise haters!! :drinker:

babybluefire

The only thing that is sad is your fat shaming women and mothers and refusing to even consider that you are coming across really really badly. It would come across differently if your post was directed at women who are not actively trying to lose weight and get healthier. But the women here are already trying, they are not making excuses.


Womens and moms are coming here for help and advice, not to be shamed and told they are making excuses and are failures. Because thats how your post is coming across. It comes across as I did this and you should be able to do the same exact things and get the results. Which is totaly untrue. Every single women is different, no diet or exercise plan is going to do the same thing.


I personaly have no excuses for how I look. I am likely faster then many women, I am far stronger then any women I have known in my lifetime. I can out do my spouse in pushups and he is certianly no fat slob. Its not going to change how my midsection looks. I get judged so harshly for my apearence, but perhaps you should take a step back and think that others are going threw some altogether different and perhaps way harder then what you have gone threw. Before you start slapping blanket acusations on whole groups. Like having babies is no excuse, bah having babues is the REASON I look the way I do.

palmerig88

Are you sure you know what you're doing? You may well wait 'till after 35 then find that you're not longer able to! I'd suggest you give yourself a head start and start trying earlier.

Really? I'm turning 32 and just now thinking about trying in a year....I hate when people say crap like this. RUDE AND UNNECESSARY

I agree too...I can't stand it when people question others on when they should have children just because they're older. I'm only 29 and I am not even married yet. Everyone is different and they should respect that!

People only question it because there is PROOF that risk for the child being born with handicaps and problems for the mother getting pregnant at that age. She only meant that if you try a little earlier, and you have difficulties, they have time to figure out whats wrong before your fertility goes down. I'm only 23 and my gyn has found my uterus is odd shaped, and it may cause difficulties with pregnancy. It may require surgery, something I am worried about, but am GLAD they found it NOW rather than when it is too late for me. Your body doesn't always follow your schedule and family planning.

You are 23. Therefore you couldn't understand what it feels like to have someone look at you all sad when you are 31 and assume things about you. I've been married for 8 years to the love of my life. We are having a lot of fun. He is 40. If we want to have a baby, it is our choice. If we don't, it is our choice. If I have one at 32 or 38 or whatever age I feel, I will STILL BE OFFENDED by comments such as yours about 'risk for the child being born with handicaps...'. People should not say things like this. It is not your business to say that my age is the defining factor for what happens in my life or my child's, if I end up having one. Or more.

carrotstick2012

Having babies can be a REASON people have trouble. I have found it has been different after each baby. I have had babies and had people close to me comment on how thin I was and was I sure I was eating properly (I was). My last baby was different. I had a very traumatic birth and I can honestly say it took me five years to recover from to the point I felt I could work out again. Lesson to learn: you don't know the medical history of anyone so can't say if they are making excuses or have a reason.

rinnismom

While I agree with this to some extent....I feel the need to argue a couple of points. I had my babies @ 35+ (so an older mom by some accounts and as you mentioned, even though your eating habits may not be horrific, the weight just doesn't disappear like it did in the 20's or early 30's). I was a single / working full time out of the home mother by the time my youngest was 1 (and even with the ex there he worked opposit shifts, so not available if I wanted to hit the gym or whatever). To this day I cannot count on the ex for child care etc, physically he is just not there for them on a regularly scheduled basis.

And I never used "well I had kids" as my excuse for being over weight, but the fact was I could not fathom being away from children more than the already 9 hours / day required for my job. So dropping them at a gym daycare after being all day at a day care was not an option. It came down to available time and with 2 little ones under 4, managing a home inside and out....you do tend to put yourself last. However, now that my little ones are almost 4 & 7 I feel less guilty about picking up from school/daycare to drop them off at another daycare like situation for another hour of their day. I'm not one to do at home things (although I do some now with the girls, Just Dance for Wii etc or biking etc). I was never skinny (before or after kids)...so I certainly can't use the physical "I had kids excuse", but they certainly aren't always easy to integrate in to a fitness plan/routine.

And your job is a fitness instructor....so I'm assuming you actually get paid to work out (which is a huge bonus). We all aren't so fortunate...wish I was though!

You should be very proud of where you are, as you work hard to have the results you have....but please remember every situation/life circumstance etc is unique. Everyone has to make the best decisions based on what they have available.

well said! it's a lot kinder than what i was thinking, though.

TeachTheGirl

Ladies, if this thread doesn't appeal to your motivation, find another thread. Really, people are blowing this way out of proportion. We know we're not all like the OP, we're all built differently and learning what works for us individually. Instead of fighting against her successes, appeal to your own. Instead of claiming she's shaming people into losing weight, accept that we have nothing to be ashamed OF. It's just that IF you choose to lose the baby-fat for these reasons, it can be done, and that's what the OP is trying to put forward.

I didn't gain anything with my daughter, but I gained a whopping 40lbs with my son! And he's four and she's only four months! I guess my body had enough steak and cheesecake with the first one. I never had that perfect body before babies, so what I have now after working out and eating better is starting to become a lot better than what I had before children.

As long as I'm still me, I'm perfectly fine with that.

danasings

Ladies, if this thread doesn't appeal to your motivation, find another thread. Really, people are blowing this way out of proportion. We know we're not all like the OP, we're all built differently and learning what works for us individually. Instead of fighting against her successes, appeal to your own. Instead of claiming she's shaming people into losing weight, accept that we have nothing to be ashamed OF. It's just that IF you choose to lose the baby-fat for these reasons, it can be done, and that's what the OP is trying to put forward.

I didn't gain anything with my daughter, but I gained a whopping 40lbs with my son! And he's four and she's only four months! I guess my body had enough steak and cheesecake with the first one. I never had that perfect body before babies, so what I have now after working out and eating better is starting to become a lot better than what I had before children.

As long as I'm still me, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Well said!

Aleara2012

I don't want to add much more to this thread but I wanted to share a couple of things... Having babies is not an excuse but indeed could be a reason. I gaind over 60lb with my daughter. And no I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to overeat but unfortunately did use food as a crutch to cope with being all alone during my pregnancy (hubby was doing post-grad abroad and we already live "abroad" so I had no friends and family close by). When I started trying to lose weight a couple of months after birth my milk supply almost dried out and I felt my baby's adequate nutrition was more important than me losing weight. There are a lot of additional factors as to why we could not go out for long walks to walk the weight off. However, now that we BF much less and that milk supply is not a concern, I feel I have no reason anymore not to take care of myself and my weight (my daughter is 2-years old). And so finally I am in a place where I can do what I could not before.

I would like to thank the OP for this motivational post, because she confirms once again this could be done. I think some women feel that the word 'excuse' was misused and if the heading read something more within the lines of 'don't let having babies stop you' or the sort, there wouldn't have been so many negative repplies and anger.

Microfiber_wechange

Some women DO use having children as an excuse for putting weight on. My friend does and her son is 16 years old. LOL

Kerri_is_so_very

I would like to thank the OP for this motivational post, because she confirms once again this could be done. I think some women feel that the word 'excuse' was misused and if the heading read something more within the lines of 'don't let having babies stop you' or the sort, there wouldn't have been so many negative repplies and anger.

:drinker: agreed...I think the message was not worded in the most inspirational way and also most probably directed towards people who aren't on this site and not interested in becoming the best they can be inside and out at this point in their life. Because if we are here it is because we have the desire to make a change. I think this thread is another great example of this same "message"... http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337568-ladies-who-have-had-children-tummy-pouch-before-and-afters?

I am fully inspired by the OP and regularly follow lots of what she posts. She has done an amazing job as a woman, as have so many others I have encountered here. I find personal success stories very inspirational, I'm thankful for the pictures and the information on what worked for them....I take what I want from them and use what works for me.

I did not take the post personally (nor was I offended by the message), though I replied speaking from my personal experience...stating why it took me so long to get to this place and to point out the simple fact that no matter what your "excuse" might be, it has to be your time to get to this place. I just wanted to remind everyone that accepting the fact that others may not be ready to make the necessary changes is ok, but continue to support, inspire and educate. And there are some people that will never get to this place and that is ok too.

kopmom

To the OP, you look great, keep it up !!

I know for myself after having kids and a husband who worked 12 hours a day working out and eating right where just not as easy as I hoped. I think for alot of mom's like me once your kids hit a certain age it become easier to make some more time for yourself. When you have babies or toddlers it is hard !! Now that my kids are 10 and 8 I can workout more

42kgirl

To the OP, you look great, keep it up !!

I know for myself after having kids and a husband who worked 12 hours a day working out and eating right where just not as easy as I hoped. I think for alot of mom's like me once your kids hit a certain age it become easier to make some more time for yourself. When you have babies or toddlers it is hard !! Now that my kids are 10 and 8 I can workout more

My kids are the same age. It's getting easier, but I have to do it at the exact moment I have a break because it's still so crazy busy. When they were young it was near to impossible other than running after them. The hubs is a chef so time to myself did not exist. I had no help at all. I would much rather be The Boy's scout leader and miss a workout or two than look like a super model.

jamaicanlady

I love your bootcamp style...NO EXCUSE. Yes maam!

I'm with you there, no more excuses. Find the time, wake up earlier if you have to, stop eating all that crap, do some crunches during a commercial, or some pushups, buy some weights, use your kid as a weight, JUST GET IT DONE!

(That was as much for me as it was for the other posters who insist on making excuses).

A_Fit_Mom

I agree! Also just because you had children, doesn't mean you will always have a pooch!



You look great! Hard work shows!!

korsicash

You were very motivating this morning. I am currently the smallest I have been in ten years and this is including pre baby. He was an emergency c section and the DR did an awful job on my incision. I have been using it as the reason I can not have a flat tummy. Until this weekend when I saw a picture of a woman with abs and the V and I was like I want that. i want tone I want definition and I want to be lean. So I have my new goal but was feeling pretty defeated as my family filled me full of doubt that I could never build my core back and to be lean and built I was going to look anorexic again. So thank you I can be lean, toned even after baby!

amkelley

You are an inspiration, Mama!!! You look amazing and have truly given me even more hope. I had 3 kids in 3 years and I made excuses after my first, but not my second. I lost 70 lbs after my second son and wound up pregnant again! I have already lost all of my baby weight from my baby, plus some and I have more to go. My baby is 8 and a half months old and I am now smaller than I was when I got married 5 years ago. I am working on major toning and I know I can do it!! Thank you for sharing your story!

kris4chloe

I have had 5, and my goal is to not have people say ...you look so good considering you've had 5 babies. I want them to not believe I did!!

THIS ^^

I have had 5 kids ages 16-3 and spent the last 16 years being fat and just considered it my destiny. I don't want people to think it is ok for me to be FAT because of my kids, I want them to react to the fact that I do not look like I have five kids.

coconutbuNZ

Blah tinkerbell I don't find your comments "uplifting" at all and my opinion remains the same and guess what else? I am allowed to have that opinion. Jeez, you sure do say a lot don't ya lol. How many paragraphs in that last post? People have different opinions and it doesn't make us all haters k so yeah, thanks for your feedback and good luck to you with your continued success.

Jennloella

These are pictures that I just took this week. Almost 2 years later. Not a perfect body...but Ok for having 6 kids

wait, did you just use kids as an excuse to settle for "ok"?