Relationship problem?

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  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.

    Why do you feel stuck? This was the first stage of a very abusive relationship for me, and trust me it will only get 10x harder to leave. Sound chillingly like the beginning of the relationship with the ex! X
  • BreatheSelina_
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    Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
    Thanks xoxo

    Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?

    Over this particular friend, I think your bf is being a bit silly.

    I agree totally but also there are two sides of the story too. We dont know the history or their relationship, his past experiences with women, and his views on life. I have some guy friends, they are great guys but have been cheated on alot, i mean alot. I also tell them that they have to get over that before ever getting into a relationship with anyone. You cant bring in baggage in a new relationship. Now, if this girl cheated on him before or cheated on someone with him then he shouldnt have dated or stayed in a relationship with her because he will always have trust issues. If she has always been loyal and its just his insecurity, they need to go consoling. His insecurity will destroy their relationship. No matter what the situation is, he has to accept things, get counseling, or split ways. There is always two sides and then the real reality.

    ALso, girl, you are not stuck. No one is ever truly stuck. Today's divorce rate proves that. People can move on and find happier times. You can take advice from 10000 people but its you that knows what really goes on in that relationship. If you are not happy and truely know you will never will be and this cant be fixed. Spend time and write down the good and bad and reflect on it so you can make an educated dicision and not a emotional based decision.
    Thank you, so much. You really helped. I guess I know my relationship has been falling apart for a few months.. I need to end it. I'm just scared to be without him..
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
  • IB_John
    IB_John Posts: 23
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    Separating you from friends is a sign of extreme jealousy. Guys with that type of behavior are on the road to becoming abusive. Time to dump him now.
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
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    Thank you, so much. You really helped. I guess I know my relationship has been falling apart for a few months.. I need to end it. I'm just scared to be without him..

    I know it's scary, but the more you drag it on the harder it gets.I was too scared to dump my ex because I was so used to him, but I ended up hurting him by dragging it out, and making myself unhappy in the process
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
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    Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
    Thanks xoxo

    Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?

    Over this particular friend, I think your bf is being a bit silly.

    I agree totally but also there are two sides of the story too. We dont know the history or their relationship, his past experiences with women, and his views on life. I have some guy friends, they are great guys but have been cheated on alot, i mean alot. I also tell them that they have to get over that before ever getting into a relationship with anyone. You cant bring in baggage in a new relationship. Now, if this girl cheated on him before or cheated on someone with him then he shouldnt have dated or stayed in a relationship with her because he will always have trust issues. If she has always been loyal and its just his insecurity, they need to go consoling. His insecurity will destroy their relationship. No matter what the situation is, he has to accept things, get counseling, or split ways. There is always two sides and then the real reality.

    ALso, girl, you are not stuck. No one is ever truly stuck. Today's divorce rate proves that. People can move on and find happier times. You can take advice from 10000 people but its you that knows what really goes on in that relationship. If you are not happy and truely know you will never will be and this cant be fixed. Spend time and write down the good and bad and reflect on it so you can make an educated dicision and not a emotional based decision.
    Thank you, so much. You really helped. I guess I know my relationship has been falling apart for a few months.. I need to end it. I'm just scared to be without him..

    Im glad I was able to help alittle. Feeling like you are stuck is not healthy and wont end well. Like I said only you know what really goes on in your relationship. Relationships are work and dedication. If he isnt willing to change then only you know what you can and cant handle. Take some time and reflect and please make a non emotional decision. I wish you well and hope you find peace and happiness in the near future with him, single, or someone else.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..

    they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"

    lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...

    we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...

    if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us :)
    That is so stupid I don't even have words for it.

    Really? Perhaps your little rant about abusers/cheaters...without knowing a damn thing about the OP's boyfriend except her one sided (even if it's accurate, which I'm not denying) story, is so stupid the rational people among us don't have words for it either?

    Seriously people, this guy is right, so is the girl that thinks its stupid. We're ALL right from behind the safety of our keyboards, with nothing invested in the relationship these two may or may not have built.

    Talk about stupid.

    And for the record, I would never tell my girlfriend that she couldn't have a female (Lesbian? Seriously? That equates to a male in almost all men's eyes), or even MALE friend stay over. I'd tell her I was unhappy about it, and let her own sense of where our relationship standsin her eyes make the decision for her. IF her need to have her friend stay the night of all things (and WHY does a friend need to stay the night? I've got lots of guy friends, and girl friends too...I'm an adult, unless they were at a party at my house and were too drunk to go home, which my girlfriend would be at too btw...they can take their happy rears home when the party is over), then she can decide for herself what's more important, my feelings on the subject, or her 'need' to have her friend stay the night.

    If it came down to the fact that my very serious, and clearly expressed feelings weren't important enough for her to take into consideration...we'd need to do some evaluation on our relationship. I don't own her, or control her even...but I also expect my reasonable feelings and expectations to be met, as I would meet hers. Having a lesbian girlfriend stay the night isn't exactly something that falls under 'reasonable expectation' when you're in a committed relationship. Did he say you couldn't be friends? Or only that he didn't want her to spend the night? If your lesbian friend is willing to give up your friendship because she can't stay the night, I see issues on her part too...if not, then who gives a damn about her spending the night? But no one is mentioning that. It's all 'dump him he's an *kitten*!' lol.

    My advice to you, based on ONLY YOUR SIDE, is talk to your boyfriend, find out why specifically it upsets him, and evaluate your own feelings on the subject.
  • BreatheSelina_
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    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
    i'd rather shove it up your *kitten*, thanks though.
  • BreatheSelina_
    Options
    Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
    Thanks xoxo

    Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?

    Over this particular friend, I think your bf is being a bit silly.

    I agree totally but also there are two sides of the story too. We dont know the history or their relationship, his past experiences with women, and his views on life. I have some guy friends, they are great guys but have been cheated on alot, i mean alot. I also tell them that they have to get over that before ever getting into a relationship with anyone. You cant bring in baggage in a new relationship. Now, if this girl cheated on him before or cheated on someone with him then he shouldnt have dated or stayed in a relationship with her because he will always have trust issues. If she has always been loyal and its just his insecurity, they need to go consoling. His insecurity will destroy their relationship. No matter what the situation is, he has to accept things, get counseling, or split ways. There is always two sides and then the real reality.

    ALso, girl, you are not stuck. No one is ever truly stuck. Today's divorce rate proves that. People can move on and find happier times. You can take advice from 10000 people but its you that knows what really goes on in that relationship. If you are not happy and truely know you will never will be and this cant be fixed. Spend time and write down the good and bad and reflect on it so you can make an educated dicision and not a emotional based decision.
    Thank you, so much. You really helped. I guess I know my relationship has been falling apart for a few months.. I need to end it. I'm just scared to be without him..

    Im glad I was able to help alittle. Feeling like you are stuck is not healthy and wont end well. Like I said only you know what really goes on in your relationship. Relationships are work and dedication. If he isnt willing to change then only you know what you can and cant handle. Take some time and reflect and please make a non emotional decision. I wish you well and hope you find peace and happiness in the near future with him, single, or someone else.
    Thank you, again. :heart:
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
    i'd rather shove it up your *kitten*, thanks though.
    I'm not into that kind of stuff. Maybe your boyfriend is.

    Also, does your mom know that you type such naughty stuff?
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
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    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.

    From my experience....Today it will be arguing of the girl friend. You will drop her, he finds another reason to isolate you. You fix that by giving in, he finds another thing. By the time you figure out you should have left a long time ago (my case 3 years) you won't even know who you are or what you think with out him telling you how to think/act/say/do.

    Just my experience, I'm not telling you what to do in anyway.

    Can I ask why you feel stuck?
  • BreatheSelina_
    Options
    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
    i'd rather shove it up your *kitten*, thanks though.
    I'm not into that kind of stuff. Maybe your boyfriend is.

    Also, does your mom know that you type such naughty stuff?
    :drinker: cheers to you, daddiii
  • BreatheSelina_
    Options
    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.

    From my experience....Today it will be arguing of the girl friend. You will drop her, he finds another reason to isolate you. You fix that by giving in, he finds another thing. By the time you figure out you should have left a long time ago (my case 3 years) you won't even know who you are or what you think with out him telling you how to think/act/say/do.

    Just my experience, I'm not telling you what to do in anyway.

    Can I ask why you feel stuck?
    Because everytime we do fight he comes over, bangs on my doors and windows. Demands to come in. I let him in. We fight, I cry, he yells, I yell, he crys, i feel bad, we fix things. thats why. every time i get the guts to end it, it back fires.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.

    From my experience....Today it will be arguing of the girl friend. You will drop her, he finds another reason to isolate you. You fix that by giving in, he finds another thing. By the time you figure out you should have left a long time ago (my case 3 years) you won't even know who you are or what you think with out him telling you how to think/act/say/do.

    Just my experience, I'm not telling you what to do in anyway.

    Can I ask why you feel stuck?
    Because everytime we do fight he comes over, bangs on my doors and windows. Demands to come in. I let him in. We fight, I cry, he yells, I yell, he crys, i feel bad, we fix things. thats why. every time i get the guts to end it, it back fires.

    You have far, far more issues in your relationship than a lesbian girlfriend. If everything you've said is accurate, then just go. All you're doing is making each other miserable, with the thought of not having someone to be with keeping you together.

    Again, this is assuming both your sides of the story match.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
    i'd rather shove it up your *kitten*, thanks though.
    I'm not into that kind of stuff. Maybe your boyfriend is.

    Also, does your mom know that you type such naughty stuff?

    You think this is naughty? You should see what she types in PM :blushing:
  • BreatheSelina_
    Options
    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
    i'd rather shove it up your *kitten*, thanks though.
    I'm not into that kind of stuff. Maybe your boyfriend is.

    Also, does your mom know that you type such naughty stuff?

    You think this is naughty? You should see what she types in PM :blushing:

    old men must love hitting on me tonight.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Options
    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
    Want some pizza?
    i'd rather shove it up your *kitten*, thanks though.
    I'm not into that kind of stuff. Maybe your boyfriend is.

    Also, does your mom know that you type such naughty stuff?

    You think this is naughty? You should see what she types in PM :blushing:

    old men must love hitting on me tonight.

    How is that hitting on you? LOL Sweetie, don't let it go to your head.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    Options
    In my "own" opinion, trust is not "earned", it is just given with your heart! :smile: ~ If he hasn't got it in him now...he never will. :sad:
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.

    From my experience....Today it will be arguing of the girl friend. You will drop her, he finds another reason to isolate you. You fix that by giving in, he finds another thing. By the time you figure out you should have left a long time ago (my case 3 years) you won't even know who you are or what you think with out him telling you how to think/act/say/do.

    Just my experience, I'm not telling you what to do in anyway.

    Can I ask why you feel stuck?
    Because everytime we do fight he comes over, bangs on my doors and windows. Demands to come in. I let him in. We fight, I cry, he yells, I yell, he crys, i feel bad, we fix things. thats why. every time i get the guts to end it, it back fires.

    Wow, that is awful. I'm so sorry to hear that things are like that. Trust me, that is NOT healthy or normal. You need to get out. If he makes you feel unsafe in any way when you try to leave, call the police. I'm serious.

    I know it can be terrifying to break up with someone when you've been with them for so long that you feel like they're a part of you. TRUST ME I know. You just think "This is my life now - being with this person - the good and the bad." And once you start thinking like that it seems impossible to leave the relationship. But, it is very possible. And one day you will be so glad for it. I'm not saying immediately. I'm not saying you won't cry and hate the world for days, weeks, months. But one day, you will realize you're over him. And you'll realize how much life has to offer and how much you would've missed out on if you had stayed. And you will feel amazing about yourself and your decisions, and the strength it took to make them. I promise.

    Good luck hun.
  • Temple_Fit
    Temple_Fit Posts: 299 Member
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    lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...

    we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...

    if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us :)

    He is right, a woman knows what a woman wants and can probably deliver better than a man. I know a few girls that were turned out by their lesbian friend. They ponced on them like a cat ponces on a mouse. Your man should be worried and don't confide your relationship problems to your lesbian friend.
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