"I'm never getting married again."

Options
24567…13

Replies

  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Options
    Mind your own business. :mad:
    Wow - thats a bit of an intense reaction for someone just asking for an opinion other than her own.
    Are you the guy shes talking about or something?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    She needs to decide if marriage is important to her or not. Many people can be in long-lasting committed relationships without ever having that piece of paper that says they are married.

    If it is important to her, then she needs to end the relationship and find a person who values the same things. If she feels like she could spend her life with him without actually being married, then there's no reason to end a good thing. However, making a statement like that in front of her and his friends is really just kind of rude.

    She basically needs to decide if not getting married is a deal breaker. If it is, then she needs to end it and move on.

    That's what I think, essentially.
  • llahairdna
    llahairdna Posts: 521 Member
    Options
    Its sad when future plans don't align. But if she is ok waiting around then so be it. I wouldn't wait around if we are not on the same page.

    The dude sounds bitter as hell. Who says that kind of thing in front of their girlfriend?

    This. He sounds incredibly disrespectful--that's a terrible thing to say at all, let alone in front of her.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
    Options
    What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?

    Absolutely not true. Not ever little girl dreams of a big fancy wedding and dress, I actually never dreamed about that stuff. Getting married to my bf would be nice, but I'm happy the way things are so it's not that big of a deal to me if we never get legally married. There is no difference in my lifestyle and what it would be like if we were married except the fact that we'd have the same last name. That's about it. Oh, and we'd inherit each other's debt lol
  • barongaston
    barongaston Posts: 109
    Options
    Walk away. Hes not only misleading her, but hes not afraid to be rude to her in public. I am sure he is fabu but there are other fabu guys who would cherish her.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Options
    If something ever happened with my marriage, I know I would never get married again. If she went into the relationship knowing that about him, then she shouldn't try to change him. He was wrong for giving her any kind of hope that he "might, someday", but seems to me he was pretty clear from the start.

    And guys usually act like horse butt in front of their friends...that's why you mock them back.
  • Starzy696
    Starzy696 Posts: 133 Member
    Options
    Coming from a girl who is unsure about ever being married, it is possible to have a committed relationship without marriage, but if she is dead set on being married, then she needs to leave and get what she wants. If this is something she wants bad enough, then he is just not the right guy for her because it's apparent he doesn't want to be married.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Mind your own business. :mad:
    Wow - thats a bit of an intense reaction for someone just asking for an opinion other than her own.
    Are you the guy shes talking about or something?

    *LOL* He's giving me *kitten* :) We're good :bigsmile: Promise.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
    Options
    If I were Jane, I would look at the state of my relationship and where it is going. If it were my desire to get married, I would sit down and have a serious talk about his opinion on marriage and where he truly stands (he might have been trying to be macho in front of his friends).

    If it were really important to her to get married, and he didn't ever want to get married, that probably a deal breaker. Because, ultimately, she'll end up resenting him and trying to change his opinion, disrespecting his position and causing resentment from him with regards to it.

    Sticking around hoping for change sometimes won't make it come. I also wouldn't pose it as an ultimatum (ie, you marry me or I'm gone) I would rather say, "Well then it's obvious we want different things and perhaps it's best to part as friends..."
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Options
    Coming from someone who is going through a rather long, drawn out, pretty ugly divorce? I've stated to my boyfriend that I have no interest or intention of getting married again. I don't need a piece of paper to know that I love him (because having that piece of paper certainly didn't insure I'd love my ex for the rest of my life, right?). I guess I don't really understand why people are so hell bent on marriage. My boyfriend and I live together and have our lives intertwined with one another, we just don't have a piece of paper that says we have to legally split everything down the middle if it ends.

    If someone doesn't want to get married and are open with you about it... then you have two choices;

    A) Accept that is how they feel and it may or may not change.

    B) Leave.
  • LiviLou2011
    LiviLou2011 Posts: 437 Member
    Options
    they can still be together along time not being married..i think marriage is a preference...
  • htmlgirl
    htmlgirl Posts: 314 Member
    Options
    That was a jerky move on his part and it seems like they want different things from the relationship. If she wants to get married and he will "one day", I would advise her to move on.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
    Options
    Johnny told his friends something different than he told Jane. Jane should have a talk to find out how Johnny really feels about it. If Johnny decides he doesn't want to get married, then Jane should decide how important marriage is and whether to stay with Johnny or move on.
  • shenitamo
    shenitamo Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    How sad. Just another example of someone letting former relationships ruin present ones. If he can't see that these are two different women...that HE is the issue, not them or marriage. I wish her the best, but I would be mortified if my boyfriend said that in front of friends and it is hard to believe if he is that callous in that instance that it doesn't happen at other times as well. Has she told him how this makes her feel?
  • thomassd1969
    thomassd1969 Posts: 564 Member
    Options
    I always said I would never get married again, didnt see the point in it. I never figured I would fall in love with anyone again either but I did. I truely love him and would never do or say anything to intentionally hurt him. That is a private conversation that your friend and him should of had. The announcement in public was a ploy for attention with no thought of how it would hurt or effect her. Serious respect issue here if you ask me.
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
    Options
    if he doesn't intend to marry again then that is his business. But by making a promise of (eventual) marriage to his gf but then making a public declaration that he intends to never marry again shows a total lack of respect on his part for his gf & that is what I, if I were this guys gf, would be concerned about rather than the not marrying again part.
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
    Options
    I think a serious discussion with boyfriend needs to happen. If he has no intention of marrying her, and this is what she is looking for, then it's time to say so long and move on.

    ^^

    the only thing I think is weird about this is that it was apparently NEWS to her when he announced it in the bar?

    Also to all you saying that marriage is the only reason to date, good lord. What the heck is the POINT of getting married? I'll tell you the point - legal rights. Everything else is just window dressing that the wedding industry is selling you on. Marriage does NOT equal commitment. Get that out of your heads right now. Commitment is commitment. Marriage is paperwork (and for some people, religious).
  • bradspace
    bradspace Posts: 54
    Options
    Psh....marriage is just a government-issued piece of paper. If they love each other, why do they need a tax statement to prove it?
    [/quote

    EXACTLY!!!
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    Options
    She started dating him knowing he didn't want to remarry.

    He changed his mind, he can change it again.

    If she loves him, and he loves her, does it really matter if they marry?

    If they're a "strong" couple, they can come to aan agreement/understanding.

    She is free to change her mind on whether she wants to continue in the relationship.

    He is talking legalities, she is talking commitment. Those aren't necessarily the same thing.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    Options
    Just wondering how much debt your friend has? Is it the getting married again or the paying off of the debt or both that he is against?

Categories