"I'm never getting married again."
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they can still be together along time not being married..i think marriage is a preference...0
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That was a jerky move on his part and it seems like they want different things from the relationship. If she wants to get married and he will "one day", I would advise her to move on.0
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Johnny told his friends something different than he told Jane. Jane should have a talk to find out how Johnny really feels about it. If Johnny decides he doesn't want to get married, then Jane should decide how important marriage is and whether to stay with Johnny or move on.0
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How sad. Just another example of someone letting former relationships ruin present ones. If he can't see that these are two different women...that HE is the issue, not them or marriage. I wish her the best, but I would be mortified if my boyfriend said that in front of friends and it is hard to believe if he is that callous in that instance that it doesn't happen at other times as well. Has she told him how this makes her feel?0
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I always said I would never get married again, didnt see the point in it. I never figured I would fall in love with anyone again either but I did. I truely love him and would never do or say anything to intentionally hurt him. That is a private conversation that your friend and him should of had. The announcement in public was a ploy for attention with no thought of how it would hurt or effect her. Serious respect issue here if you ask me.0
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if he doesn't intend to marry again then that is his business. But by making a promise of (eventual) marriage to his gf but then making a public declaration that he intends to never marry again shows a total lack of respect on his part for his gf & that is what I, if I were this guys gf, would be concerned about rather than the not marrying again part.0
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I think a serious discussion with boyfriend needs to happen. If he has no intention of marrying her, and this is what she is looking for, then it's time to say so long and move on.
^^
the only thing I think is weird about this is that it was apparently NEWS to her when he announced it in the bar?
Also to all you saying that marriage is the only reason to date, good lord. What the heck is the POINT of getting married? I'll tell you the point - legal rights. Everything else is just window dressing that the wedding industry is selling you on. Marriage does NOT equal commitment. Get that out of your heads right now. Commitment is commitment. Marriage is paperwork (and for some people, religious).0 -
Psh....marriage is just a government-issued piece of paper. If they love each other, why do they need a tax statement to prove it?
[/quote
EXACTLY!!!0 -
She started dating him knowing he didn't want to remarry.
He changed his mind, he can change it again.
If she loves him, and he loves her, does it really matter if they marry?
If they're a "strong" couple, they can come to aan agreement/understanding.
She is free to change her mind on whether she wants to continue in the relationship.
He is talking legalities, she is talking commitment. Those aren't necessarily the same thing.0 -
Just wondering how much debt your friend has? Is it the getting married again or the paying off of the debt or both that he is against?0
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What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?
Couldnt agree more! Why put your heart out there if there isn't going to be that lifelong commitment at the end. Better off to just stay single if you never plan for commitment. She should just let him go, because a REAL man, that wants a real commitment will come along and make her happier than she ever was with the jerk.0 -
What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?
Absolutely not true. Not ever little girl dreams of a big fancy wedding and dress, I actually never dreamed about that stuff. Getting married to my bf would be nice, but I'm happy the way things are so it's not that big of a deal to me if we never get legally married. There is no difference in my lifestyle and what it would be like if we were married except the fact that we'd have the same last name. That's about it. Oh, and we'd inherit each other's debt lol
YOU ARE TOTALLY IN MY BRAIN, and shoes for that matter.
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He disregarded her feelings in a group setting. That's not appropriate. She needs to talk to him about how his rant was hurtful, and if his only caveat is money then suggest a prenup. If a Prenup doesn't settle the disagreement she's better off breaking it off with him now and finding someone who shares her goals. He may be a great guy... but not the right one for her.0
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To me, marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and doesnt define a relationship (mind you I am married) But if she can't live without the marriage, then she should have a discussion with her spouse and discuss her want and needs and his. Then go from there on who's willing to compromise with what. If in the end they stay together because they make it work, so be it. If not, then theres no need to waste anymore time.0
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Dump him, he's a waste of time.
^^^^^^ dump^^^^^^0 -
Had he been drinking?
Maybe he had said the whole "I'll never marry again" to some of his friends and was trying to save face w/ them - not thinking about what he had told her. Sometimes people say dumb stuff w/out thinking.
I would probably talk to him and tell him that until he makes up his mind about marriage and resolve his bitterness from the past/previous relationships, than we should see other people.
Than probably something to the effect of "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!" :laugh:0 -
Coming from someone who is going through a rather long, drawn out, pretty ugly divorce? I've stated to my boyfriend that I have no interest or intention of getting married again. I don't need a piece of paper to know that I love him (because having that piece of paper certainly didn't insure I'd love my ex for the rest of my life, right?). I guess I don't really understand why people are so hell bent on marriage. My boyfriend and I live together and have our lives intertwined with one another, we just don't have a piece of paper that says we have to legally split everything down the middle if it ends.
If someone doesn't want to get married and are open with you about it... then you have two choices;
A) Accept that is how they feel and it may or may not change.
Leave.
I understand this point of view, I can even respect it. It would be my own fault if a man told me this upfront, then I went out with him, and was upset that he wouldn't marry me. I've even been in that situation before. Now, if a man told me that, I don't care how much I liked him, how good a position I was in to date him, or how lonely I was, I'd tell him thanks, but no thanks, and move on.
Obviously the girlfriend in the description didn't do that, but as another poster said, she needs to make up her mind. Is it a deal breaker, or not? If it is, forget trying to change the guy (or girl in some situations) move on!0 -
that form of statement in front of a group of people is one of the most douchey things I can think of. It make him look like an *kitten* and her like a fool for being with the *kitten*. if I would be put in that situation I would do one of two things....get up and walk out that minute or call him out on it in front of everyone.
That being said, I do believe marriage does not need to be invovled in a successful long term relationship. PROVIDING both parties are in agreement on the issue.0 -
NUFF SAID!!!Dump him, he's a waste of time.0 -
Jane should have a heart to heart talk with her man about marriage. Divorce is not easy, and it sounds like he still resentments is ex. If the man's only issue is money, then they can get a prenuptial agreement. Problem solved. They could just live happily ever after unmarried. Sounds like they need to have a real talk about their relationship before moving forward. good luck to your friend.0
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Last night, Johnny makes the public declaration amongst friends he will never ever get married again,
That's the problem. I can understand the not getting married again.
It's wrong, though, to tell her he's not, then they will get married, then to publicly declare he is not getting married again. Not cool.
If she needs marriage, he's not the guy for her.0 -
Does she want him more than she wants to be married?0
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Marriage. Lawl.
I can certainly understand his point of view. I have been divorced ten years and am still paying for it while my ex wife got happily remarried and I'm still paying some of her bills.
Marriage is a giant gamble for men. You hate it? So do I. Next time one of your girlfriends is laughing about how she took her ex to the bank, taint-slap her because she's contributing to why many men don't want round 2 after going through it once.0 -
I don't care how much you love and care for someone, you can never change them. If Jane wants to get married, why waste time with Johnny? I'm sure she can find someone who would love her enough to marry her.
^^^agree with this^^^ - I am working on my divorce as we speak, so I know what it feels like to be "scared" to marry again. I am getting out of an abusive/cheating relationship, but I have intentions of re-marrying one day. Just take things slower and not rush a marriage. You can't change someone no matter how much you try - been there, done that. If he really has no intentions of marriage and she wants to get married - then a serious talk needs to happen and possibly a break-up.0 -
Why is he paying off her debt?0
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I think a serious discussion with boyfriend needs to happen. If he has no intention of marrying her, and this is what she is looking for, then it's time to say so long and move on.
Most definitely! Agreed.0 -
Richard Cranium move, that outburst, but there's nothing wrong or defective with someone that doesn't want to get married.0
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Well, if it is a deal breaker for Jane that marriage is off the table, then she needs to clarify that this declaration was not a spur of the moment thing and show boating.
Honestly, I'd dump him either way, but I'm just a ***** like that.
Never is an ugly word that tends to bite us in the *kitten* when we use it. His use of it in the beginning and then again recently tells me he intends to stick with it.0 -
eh
marriage is a piece of paper.
if you really loved him you would accept that he doesn't want to get married, and pressuring him wont do any good.
the commitment is the love, the loyalty, the wanting to be together for the rest of your life, showing your person that you love them for who they are.
Marriage was originally a religious thing, and i'm sure this couple has been having "Snoo Snoo" so they wouldn't be strictly religious. (in terms of catholism anyway)
You shouldnt need a piece of paper or a big ring or a fancy dress and a big party to show that your "commited".
(however, he is a douch to say he will marry her just to make her mhappy, maybe he said that originally because if she didint want to be with him unless they got married.. well i think she is the bad one then)
just my 0.020 -
Mind your own business. :mad:
Looks like we found Johnny. :laugh:0
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