"I'm never getting married again."

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odusgolp
odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
in Chit-Chat
I write this on behalf of my girlfriend... I have a biased opinion, so why not throw it out to random strangers:)

27 year old man (Johnny) married for 5 or 6 years. Divorced Oct 2010.

Johnny has now been dating Jane nearly 1.5 years. He told Jane he doesn't want to get married ever again, initially. Then after getting more serious with her, said he would marry her, just not anytime soon.

Last night, Johnny makes the public declaration amongst friends he will never ever get married again, and he will never pay off another woman's debt.... This, in front of Jane (who is going with the understanding he intends to marry her at some point).

What would you do if you were Jane? She is truly in love with him and would be heartbroken to end it. They are a very strong couple with this being the only glaring issue. She believes she is worthy of a man making a commitment to her - in the terms of marriage.

Let the opinions fly :)
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Replies

  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Dump him, he's a waste of time.
  • Aureilie
    Aureilie Posts: 213 Member
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    Dump him, he's a waste of time.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 795 Member
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    I agree with her.... and I would have been completely mortified to be in her shoes during that conversation. Very immature on his part.
  • danivdp
    danivdp Posts: 1
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    ITA. DUMP NOW. Find a man that is looking for more than fun.
  • FitSid
    FitSid Posts: 117 Member
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    prenup.
  • MissAlexxMarie
    MissAlexxMarie Posts: 171
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    What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?
  • angeldaae
    angeldaae Posts: 348 Member
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    Dump him, he's a waste of time.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    that isnt fair to you, oops jane, at all.
    they need to sit down and have a talk. if they dont come to any agreement, its over. you gotta want the same things in life, and that just made her look like a fool and hurt her.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Mind your own business. :mad:
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    Its sad when future plans don't align. But if she is ok waiting around then so be it. I wouldn't wait around if we are not on the same page.

    The dude sounds bitter as hell. Who says that kind of thing in front of their girlfriend?
  • Donnacoach
    Donnacoach Posts: 540 Member
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    I think a serious discussion with boyfriend needs to happen. If he has no intention of marrying her, and this is what she is looking for, then it's time to say so long and move on.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    She needs to decide if marriage is important to her or not. Many people can be in long-lasting committed relationships without ever having that piece of paper that says they are married.

    If it is important to her, then she needs to end the relationship and find a person who values the same things. If she feels like she could spend her life with him without actually being married, then there's no reason to end a good thing. However, making a statement like that in front of her and his friends is really just kind of rude.

    She basically needs to decide if not getting married is a deal breaker. If it is, then she needs to end it and move on.
  • angelaclassact
    angelaclassact Posts: 66 Member
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    He's not ready, and it is time to move on.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    I don't care how much you love and care for someone, you can never change them. If Jane wants to get married, why waste time with Johnny? I'm sure she can find someone who would love her enough to marry her.
  • iFeelBrandNew
    iFeelBrandNew Posts: 263 Member
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    he sounds childish... i dont mean that in a derogatory sense... i mean, you've heard once bitten, twice shy? did she give him an ultimatum when he said he would never marry again the first time? was he forced to say that he would?

    i mean, i would determine whether or not him not marrying me is a deal breaker for the relationship. if it is, let him go. if its not, deal with it.

    i think she'll deal with it. you know how we are when we're in loooooooove. :love:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Mind your own business. :mad:

    *lick lick* now hush your mouth *LOL*


    And this really isn't me. I'm a 35 year old divorcee that doesn't care to ever marry again necessarily :)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,080 Member
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    Well. I'll never get married again. . . I think I know myself.


    If he says that, believe him. She has the choice to accept that or move on. Marriage is not the be-all-end-all .....but some people just want that for whatever reason. If they live together, in many states they can become common-law spouses, with a lot of the same legal benefits and responsibilities anyway.


    .
  • Prettylittlelotus
    Prettylittlelotus Posts: 239 Member
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    Dump him, he's a waste of time.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    Saying it like he did, was poor thinking on his part. But I can say that if my marriage does not work out, I will never get married again. For most though, I guess it would depend on what the reasons were for the divorce were and if there are any unresolved issues.
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
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    Psh....marriage is just a government-issued piece of paper. If they love each other, why do they need a tax statement to prove it?

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