"I'm never getting married again."

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  • Skinny4BG
    Skinny4BG Posts: 145
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    What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?

    Couldnt agree more! Why put your heart out there if there isn't going to be that lifelong commitment at the end. Better off to just stay single if you never plan for commitment. She should just let him go, because a REAL man, that wants a real commitment will come along and make her happier than she ever was with the jerk.
  • iFeelBrandNew
    iFeelBrandNew Posts: 263 Member
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    What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?

    Absolutely not true. Not ever little girl dreams of a big fancy wedding and dress, I actually never dreamed about that stuff. Getting married to my bf would be nice, but I'm happy the way things are so it's not that big of a deal to me if we never get legally married. There is no difference in my lifestyle and what it would be like if we were married except the fact that we'd have the same last name. That's about it. Oh, and we'd inherit each other's debt lol

    YOU ARE TOTALLY IN MY BRAIN, and shoes for that matter. :)
  • purpleroses1021
    purpleroses1021 Posts: 46 Member
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    He disregarded her feelings in a group setting. That's not appropriate. She needs to talk to him about how his rant was hurtful, and if his only caveat is money then suggest a prenup. If a Prenup doesn't settle the disagreement she's better off breaking it off with him now and finding someone who shares her goals. He may be a great guy... but not the right one for her.
  • bigredhearts
    bigredhearts Posts: 428
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    To me, marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and doesnt define a relationship (mind you I am married) But if she can't live without the marriage, then she should have a discussion with her spouse and discuss her want and needs and his. Then go from there on who's willing to compromise with what. If in the end they stay together because they make it work, so be it. If not, then theres no need to waste anymore time.
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Dump him, he's a waste of time.

    ^^^^^^ dump^^^^^^
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    Had he been drinking?

    Maybe he had said the whole "I'll never marry again" to some of his friends and was trying to save face w/ them - not thinking about what he had told her. Sometimes people say dumb stuff w/out thinking.

    I would probably talk to him and tell him that until he makes up his mind about marriage and resolve his bitterness from the past/previous relationships, than we should see other people.

    Than probably something to the effect of "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!" :laugh:
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Coming from someone who is going through a rather long, drawn out, pretty ugly divorce? I've stated to my boyfriend that I have no interest or intention of getting married again. I don't need a piece of paper to know that I love him (because having that piece of paper certainly didn't insure I'd love my ex for the rest of my life, right?). I guess I don't really understand why people are so hell bent on marriage. My boyfriend and I live together and have our lives intertwined with one another, we just don't have a piece of paper that says we have to legally split everything down the middle if it ends.

    If someone doesn't want to get married and are open with you about it... then you have two choices;

    A) Accept that is how they feel and it may or may not change.

    B) Leave.

    I understand this point of view, I can even respect it. It would be my own fault if a man told me this upfront, then I went out with him, and was upset that he wouldn't marry me. I've even been in that situation before. Now, if a man told me that, I don't care how much I liked him, how good a position I was in to date him, or how lonely I was, I'd tell him thanks, but no thanks, and move on.

    Obviously the girlfriend in the description didn't do that, but as another poster said, she needs to make up her mind. Is it a deal breaker, or not? If it is, forget trying to change the guy (or girl in some situations) move on!
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    that form of statement in front of a group of people is one of the most douchey things I can think of. It make him look like an *kitten* and her like a fool for being with the *kitten*. if I would be put in that situation I would do one of two things....get up and walk out that minute or call him out on it in front of everyone.

    That being said, I do believe marriage does not need to be invovled in a successful long term relationship. PROVIDING both parties are in agreement on the issue.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Dump him, he's a waste of time.
    NUFF SAID!!!
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
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    Jane should have a heart to heart talk with her man about marriage. Divorce is not easy, and it sounds like he still resentments is ex. If the man's only issue is money, then they can get a prenuptial agreement. Problem solved. They could just live happily ever after unmarried. Sounds like they need to have a real talk about their relationship before moving forward. good luck to your friend.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    Last night, Johnny makes the public declaration amongst friends he will never ever get married again,

    That's the problem. I can understand the not getting married again.

    It's wrong, though, to tell her he's not, then they will get married, then to publicly declare he is not getting married again. Not cool.

    If she needs marriage, he's not the guy for her.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Does she want him more than she wants to be married?
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Marriage. Lawl.

    I can certainly understand his point of view. I have been divorced ten years and am still paying for it while my ex wife got happily remarried and I'm still paying some of her bills.

    Marriage is a giant gamble for men. You hate it? So do I. Next time one of your girlfriends is laughing about how she took her ex to the bank, taint-slap her because she's contributing to why many men don't want round 2 after going through it once.
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
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    I don't care how much you love and care for someone, you can never change them. If Jane wants to get married, why waste time with Johnny? I'm sure she can find someone who would love her enough to marry her.


    ^^^agree with this^^^ - I am working on my divorce as we speak, so I know what it feels like to be "scared" to marry again. I am getting out of an abusive/cheating relationship, but I have intentions of re-marrying one day. Just take things slower and not rush a marriage. You can't change someone no matter how much you try - been there, done that. If he really has no intentions of marriage and she wants to get married - then a serious talk needs to happen and possibly a break-up.
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 938 Member
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    Why is he paying off her debt?
  • heresmyinsidevoice
    heresmyinsidevoice Posts: 311 Member
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    I think a serious discussion with boyfriend needs to happen. If he has no intention of marrying her, and this is what she is looking for, then it's time to say so long and move on.

    Most definitely! Agreed.
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
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    Richard Cranium move, that outburst, but there's nothing wrong or defective with someone that doesn't want to get married.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Well, if it is a deal breaker for Jane that marriage is off the table, then she needs to clarify that this declaration was not a spur of the moment thing and show boating.

    Honestly, I'd dump him either way, but I'm just a ***** like that.

    Never is an ugly word that tends to bite us in the *kitten* when we use it. His use of it in the beginning and then again recently tells me he intends to stick with it.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
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    eh

    marriage is a piece of paper.

    if you really loved him you would accept that he doesn't want to get married, and pressuring him wont do any good.

    the commitment is the love, the loyalty, the wanting to be together for the rest of your life, showing your person that you love them for who they are.

    Marriage was originally a religious thing, and i'm sure this couple has been having "Snoo Snoo" so they wouldn't be strictly religious. (in terms of catholism anyway)

    You shouldnt need a piece of paper or a big ring or a fancy dress and a big party to show that your "commited".
    (however, he is a douch to say he will marry her just to make her mhappy, maybe he said that originally because if she didint want to be with him unless they got married.. well i think she is the bad one then)

    just my 0.02
  • MoreThanMommie
    MoreThanMommie Posts: 597 Member
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    Mind your own business. :mad:

    Looks like we found Johnny. :laugh:

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