girls ... do you mind if your men go to strip clubs?
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Never had to worry about mine going to a strip club, he's always said he doesn't have an interest in it at all. If he wanted to, it would be a problem for me, yes. It's not just about being made to feel insecure with my body, but also jealousy. Yes, I get jealous when he looks at other women. Why shouldn't I? He's MY husband, who I married. If he wanted to look at other women, experience them, and think about them sexually, he shouldn't have gotten into a committed relationship.
I also don't want him looking at porn. I've talked to him about it and explained why it hurts me, and he eventually stopped when he finally understood. Just because you're not touching the person, doesn't mean it's not cheating. Sure, maybe it's not as bad, but it's still a degree of cheating. Phone sex or cyber sex would seriously bother some people I'm sure if they found out their spouse was doing those things - and for me, if he's looking at other women naked, it's just another way for him to cheat without really touching those women. I've looked at porn many times, yes, and you know what I found out? It bothers him JUST as much as it bothers me when he does it. I have never once felt good about myself after looking at other men naked. It always ends up with me feeling terribly guilty and disgusted with myself - so I don't do it anymore.
Your poor husband! Porn is cheating? Really? Is him talking to and looking at another woman at work he considers attractive cheating as well?
Not necessarily. I suppose that depends on whether or not he's thinking about sleeping with her while he's talking to her. If my husband had such an issue with me not wanting him to look at porn, I really don't think he would have gotten married to me years later. I never said you or anyone had to agree with my point of view. I don't see how it's your place to judge me for mine either. I actually just had a small debate with my husband about this, just now, and some interesting points were made on both sides.
I have no issue with strip clubs. If a single man wants to go, great. If a married man or a man in a relationship wants to go, I think he should be sure that it's not going to hurt the person he is with first. That is what a relationship is about, equal respect and consideration for the other. Sometimes we can compromise what we want for the other, and sometimes we cannot. Sometimes a relationship ends over things that can't be compromised on - it's really about discussion, communication, honesty, and emotion for me.
If my husband was honestly going to see nude or partially nude women dancing for purely entertainment purposes only, I would be okay with it, but only if he wanted me to come along. Then it would be a shared experience and I would imagine it could bring us closer. That said, I don't really know 100% for sure how I'd feel in that situation, since we've never done something like that together. We watched porn together a few times, and me being immature as I am, laughed almost the entire time. It wasn't a bad experience though, albeit slightly awkward for me and him as well I think. But, I wasn't bothered by him looking, because I was with him the entire time experiencing it as well. It wasn't like some dirty little secret, or something he felt he needed to do without me because I would ruin it. I think when most men look at porn, they are doing it for one reason alone - to get off.
It is another thing entirely if a man in a committed relationship is going to a cheap strip club knowingly for the sole purpose of being aroused by other women. And honestly, you can ask a man what his reasons are, but how many of them do you think would give you the truth? At least I feel my husband is honest with me about it, in saying he would only be interested in going to an upscale place for the beauty and art of it - and even that doesn't interest him enough to go. He would have no problems with taking me along, either. That is enough for me and makes me feel secure in our relationship.0 -
the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.
He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.
There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.
Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?0 -
the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.
He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.
There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.
There is a difference between a girl at the beach and a girl getting dollar bills thrown at her snatch/shoving it in his face0 -
My husband is a retired Navy sailor. He's been to strip clubs all over the world. Any club in the U.S. is a Disney movie, according to him, compared to what he's seen, so he really has no interest in going. That being said, we do cross the border from time to time, where the strip clubs are a bit more "adventurous." I'm another one who doesn't care where he gets his appetite, I know exactly what to serve up!
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the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.
He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.
There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.
Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?
So an attached man looking at a pretty girl or vice versa means you're lusting/tempted/not content with the person you're with? If you think your man isn't looking at other women you live in a bubble.0 -
the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.
He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.
There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.
Seeing attractive women on a day-to-day basis is a given. I do not think any of us are suggesting that we lock our men at home, or prevent them from working and walking down the street. It's a very different thing to be happy about the fact that they want to see random naked women straddling poles and what not. Or worse, feel they need to occasionally to "add some spice" to their relationship. It's crazy to me. I do not judge any of the women here who do not have a problem with it, hey - it's your relationship.
But I do resent the suggestion that I'm a prude or "blissfully unaware" that ALL men, including mine go to strip clubs, and that it's normal, healthy and sexy. TO ME, it's not. I'd feel so weird feeding my BF dinner and then sending him out to the nearest strip joint with a smile. He would probably think I'd gone crazy.0 -
My husband is a retired Navy sailor. He's been to strip clubs all over the world. Any club in the U.S. is a Disney movie, according to him, compared to what he's seen, so he really has no interest in going. That being said, we do cross the border from time to time, where the strip clubs are a bit more "adventurous." I'm another one who doesn't care where he gets his appetite, I know exactly what to serve up!
NOT judging. But I swear, in that situation, I would feel like a receptacle, and nothing more. Grosses me out.0 -
Guys think about other women sexually ALL THE TIME. I'm sure some even think about that hot girl from the office while banging their wife. Is that cheating? Those of you who say watching a stripper and porn is cheating must think that your man merely THINKING of another woman sexually means he is cheating?0
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do i getta go??? lol0
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I wouldn't care since I'd probably go with him.0
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the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.
He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.
There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.
Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?
So an attached man looking at a pretty girl or vice versa means you're lusting/tempted/not content with the person you're with? If you think your man isn't looking at other women you live in a bubble.
No. Not what I wrote. I said: Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?
Which does not mean that someone isnt happy looking at a pretty girl. It means if that pretty girl has her clothes off and your lusting over her body.... you get it.
Strip clubs provoke sexual thoughts. Im not saying that my boyfriend doesnt find another woman attractive. I am saying that My boyfriend doesnt need to feel like he wants to be all up on the attractive girl, see her goods, have her body sexualy with his.. Be single! Thats what those days are for.
And like another said, I dont JUDGE anyones relationship. Im just stating wheat I feel. I have plenty of couple friends who are fine with it and go together.0 -
the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.
He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.
There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.
Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?
So an attached man looking at a pretty girl or vice versa means you're lusting/tempted/not content with the person you're with? If you think your man isn't looking at other women you live in a bubble.
Strip clubs provoke sexual thoughts. Im not saying that my boyfriend doesnt find another woman attractive. I am saying that My boyfriend doesnt need to feel like he wants to be all up on the attractive girl, see her goods, have her body sexualy with his.. Be single! Thats what those days are for.
Anything can provoke a sexual thought! He doesn't need to see her naked even! Were you naked when your boyfriend first saw you? There was something about you that attracted him enough to want to get to know you and for sure he was sexually attracted to you and probably thought about banging you. How can you think he isn't doing that with other women? (not trying to pick them up, but thinking about them in a sexual way)0 -
Let's face it, if you tell a man no, does it stop him? And if he's allowed to do this it stops being a forbidden fruit....
I kinda agree with the old "why eat burger when you have steak at home" but the occasional greasy burger surely helps highlight the quality of the meat in your fridge??0 -
Guys think about other women sexually ALL THE TIME. I'm sure some even think about that hot girl from the office while banging their wife. Is that cheating? Those of you who say watching a stripper and porn is cheating must think that your man merely THINKING of another woman sexually means he is cheating?
I know men are visual and think about sex numerous times a day. I do not live under a rock. I do not think that looking at or thinking about another woman is cheating...
My BF may sometimes think of other women when we are together... But I'll be darned if he's going to TELL me he's thinking about the stripper that he just paid to watch. And I'll be triple darned if I would say "ooohhh, yay, that's so sexy and normal", can I come with you next time?
Never. Gonna. Happen.0 -
do i getta go??? lol
YES!!! You can come with me although there aren't many around anymore....except the one my buddy owns LOL. 0 -
Depends on the club. A classy place with no touching, sure why not - just don't spend too much $$.
An icky place with touching and lap dances, um no.0 -
One word: Trust. That's what a relationship is built on. I'm lucky I have a husband who is HONESTLY not interested in any of it, but if he so chose to go to anything of that sort, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.
He let me go to the club with strange men dancing all over me. I wasn't even close to tempted to do anything with them. It was just friendly dancing...and I even did several switcheroos to get my single friend to dance with them.
Relax, people. It's not the end of the world. If you think your S.O. would be tempted, then I would probably rethink your relationship.0 -
One word: Trust. That's what a relationship is built on. I'm lucky I have a husband who is HONESTLY not interested in any of it, but if he so chose to go to anything of that sort, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.
He let me go to the club with strange men dancing all over me. I wasn't even close to tempted to do anything with them. It was just friendly dancing...and I even did several switcheroos to get my single friend to dance with them.
Relax, people. It's not the end of the world. If you think your S.O. would be tempted, then I would probably rethink your relationship.
I don't think it's always necessarily about trusting the spouse for everyone. I think in some cases, they just might be very uncomfortable with anyone else touching them or with them looking at anyone else in that way. I mean isn't that part of why people get married? To be with ONE person, not to share them with other people? (And obviously I do mean sexually) o.O0 -
Why anybody would want to put dollars into the hands of organized crime is beyond me. Who do you think runs those places? And yes, my husband, my brothers in law and my sons deserve a lot better than what is served up in those tawdry, unhealthy places.0
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My husband is a retired Navy sailor. He's been to strip clubs all over the world. Any club in the U.S. is a Disney movie, according to him, compared to what he's seen, so he really has no interest in going. That being said, we do cross the border from time to time, where the strip clubs are a bit more "adventurous." I'm another one who doesn't care where he gets his appetite, I know exactly what to serve up!
NOT judging. But I swear, in that situation, I would feel like a receptacle, and nothing more. Grosses me out.
Hmmm...perhaps he should just "dump" somewhere else then. Whatever.0
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