ladies is he being a jerk or gentleman???
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Anytime I am out with my man I want to look my best, but if I knew his ex was going to be somewhere I would want to look better than her anyway so he can say honestly that he traded up!0
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I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!0 -
I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!
More women than men on the planet. More women lamenting that they can't find a good guy.....0 -
They probably can't find a "good guy" because so many of them have viewpoints like this ^^^^I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!
More women than men on the planet. More women lamenting that they can't find a good guy.....0 -
They probably can't find a "good guy" because so many of them have viewpoints like this ^^^^I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!
More women than men on the planet. More women lamenting that they can't find a good guy.....
you seem like a gem
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I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
My $0.02? He warned you not to bring a knife to a gunfight. Given that most dudes aren't considerate or astute enough to give you the heads-up at all, I'd say he didn't you want to be upstaged or embarrased. In the world of the limited understanding that dudes have of female feelings, this is kind of a big deal.
Now, if he goes to the party and is all up on the ex, then all the malicous chickenheadedness in this thread is warranted and you can bag his *kitten*. But reading too much into minor **** is why dudes would rather flat-out not talk to women most of the time.
Best Response!!!0 -
I would say that (assuming youv'e quoted him correctly) his choice of words was FAR from ideal. But, if you're with a guy that's not particularly good with words, but actually has a heart of gold (believe you me, I know about this scenario. LOL!), then he's probably doing something nice. If I could put words in his mouth:
Honey, I just want to give you a heads-up. You know that thing we're going to on Friday night. Well, my ex is going to be there. You don't have to change a damn thing for me; you're awesome all the time. But, just in case it matters to you, she's going to be all dressed up.
<reads your reaction, carries on or not accordingly, tells you again how hot you are....>
Oh - if we could only put words in their mouths!
BTW: If he really DOES want you to look hotter than his ex to prove to him/you/her that he's better off now, then that's a red flag. Proceed with caution. :O)0 -
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Typical..this guy gets to control the girl he is with and his EX. No wonder women hate us.0
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Okay I don't have time to read 14 pages LOL so someone is going to have to give me a synopsis. To the OP welp I'll be going to the event but not with you!!! BAHAHAHAHA. Go w/ your ex-g-friend if she's that HOT.
Really Tamara your my fellow MIO junkie, you are supposed to cosign all my opinions and post to be a supportive pal!!0 -
The guy is just not good with words but I get it.0
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I haven't read all the replies, but I personally would have appreciated the heads up. If I was looking all grungy the first time I ran into my hubby's ex, I would feel awful about myslef!!!0
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Agree. Obviously he cares more about impressing his ex (which shouldn't even matter anymore!) than your own feelings.
"An 'ex' is called an 'ex' because it's an 'EXample' of who you shouldn't be with again"0 -
hes a prick, why is he bothered about his ex. id say "please can you "say something insulting i.e get penis extension" cos my exs was better xx 0
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I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
My $0.02? He warned you not to bring a knife to a gunfight. Given that most dudes aren't considerate or astute enough to give you the heads-up at all, I'd say he didn't you want to be upstaged or embarrased. In the world of the limited understanding that dudes have of female feelings, this is kind of a big deal.
Now, if he goes to the party and is all up on the ex, then all the malicous chickenheadedness in this thread is warranted and you can bag his *kitten*. But reading too much into minor **** is why dudes would rather flat-out not talk to women most of the time.
Best Response!!!
agree! i like the guzzling booze part.
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^^^^^ this.I'll take the guys side on this one, this is a heads up, look if you run into the ex and you are introduced for some reason, YOU want to look your best. Hasn't anyone been there before? I sure have, was out running errands in a t-shirt and some jeans and ran into my guys ex at the store and she was just getting off work and was in a suit and heels. I felt like crap afterwards because she didn't get an opportunity to see his upgrade. Because I was caught off guard I didn't have my best foot forward and you only get one chance to make the first impression. Call me whatever you want but I'd like the opportunity to knock it home and show her that he's got quite a catch. If you go and aren't looking your best and he didn't tell you that you might run into her, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth? "Why didn't you tell me she was going to be there!" Your going to follow that up with knocking him upside the head and then mumbling to yourself for days about how you wished you;d have been wearing this or that, or that you'd fixed your hair or touched up your makeup.0 -
Actually, I am going to stick up for the man. If I was meeting his ex for the first time and she was super dressed up and I wasn't I would feel self conscious. I think he is probably proud of you and wants you to look your best so he can rub it in the nose of his ex. I would feel good if my husband wanted to show me off. (he does but I'm just saying) Also, you don't know what kind of programming he received from the ex. Maybe, she would flip out because she didn't want to look like the 'shabby' one and so he is giving you a heads up. Personally, I would rather someone told me that I needed to dress up rather than showing up and being uncomfortable. And obviously he cares enough about you to want to bring you. Just sayin.0
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Definitely a jerk, that's horrible!0
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He's an *kitten*... I wouldn't go...0
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WOW This makes me so happy to have the man I do.
I guess it helps that my bf's ex (Only has one) was a psychotic hoze bag and a complete up tight hight maintenace girl that wouldnt get dirty. Which he really hated about her. And I LOVE getting dirty.
You should definitely be proud to be with a man that talks that way about his ex. I'm sure he'll be talking about how amazing you are when you break up. ;-)0 -
Dumb way to say it, but most men are not huge in the communication arena. I personally would appreciate the heads up. You can look amazing without having to overdo it, I'd be showing the ex that skill...0
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I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.
Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.
Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.
She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!
Thank you!!!0 -
I'll take the guys side on this one, this is a heads up, look if you run into the ex and you are introduced for some reason, YOU want to look your best. Hasn't anyone been there before? I sure have, was out running errands in a t-shirt and some jeans and ran into my guys ex at the store and she was just getting off work and was in a suit and heels. I felt like crap afterwards because she didn't get an opportunity to see his upgrade. Because I was caught off guard I didn't have my best foot forward and you only get one chance to make the first impression. Call me whatever you want but I'd like the opportunity to knock it home and show her that he's got quite a catch. If you go and aren't looking your best and he didn't tell you that you might run into her, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth? "Why didn't you tell me she was going to be there!" Your going to follow that up with knocking him upside the head and then mumbling to yourself for days about how you wished you;d have been wearing this or that, or that you'd fixed your hair or touched up your makeup.
I agree. If I saw an ex I would want to be looking my best! Call me old fashioned (cause yes I am) but I want my husband to want to show me off. I want to be the trophy wife, for him! I've never had to deal with the Ex thing, we got married young and he never really had an serious girlfriends. But I had a serious boyfriend and I know the one time we ran into him, I was pregnant, so naturally I felt fat and horrible lol but I did look cute, but my man was looking good and I was soo glad that the ex got to see what I now had. I guess like how much better my husband is then he was lol. Hope this makes sense lol.
I agree too with others that have said guys aren't the best at knowing exactly what to say to us that wont make us upset. As long as he wasn't saying it to be mean or for you to be something your not then I would appreciate the heads up. I would want that girl to say WOW I can't compete with that!
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Lulz, the moderators disagree... I guess my post was insulting.Best Response!!!
agree! i like the guzzling booze part.0 -
Lulz, the moderators disagree... I guess my post was insulting.Best Response!!!
agree! i like the guzzling booze part.
Boo....not insulting0 -
Hmm I would think he was being a little bit of a jerk because he is pretty much saying you don't usually dress up or clean up well. But knowing how guys think he isn't thinking that way just making sure you know his ex would be there and you need to look extra hot that night.0
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K, "hoes" was inflammatory and unnecessary. Outdated and chauvinist? Guilty. That said - open thread, open forum, fourteen pages of man-bashing responses ("Jerk! Dump him!" OMG I never...)... I'm allowed my $0.02, just like you're allowed your opinion. And my opinion was that the ladies were giving bad advice.Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.
///Looks around... takes inventory of MFP members...She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!
Website full of divorced/single moms/self-confidence-issues/health-issues-from-overeating women begs to differ.
Truth siren, baby. It ain't pretty but it's real - there's a flood of people on this site, both male and female, that got "better deal'd" by their partners. Maybe they had your same attitude, maybe they didn't... but if you become apathetic and take your partner for granted, you're tempting fate.0 -
I have to disagree with this. BOYS are a dime a dozen. A good man is rare and in high demand. They are well worth the time and effort. After all, he's also put in the time and effort to be a cut above the rest.She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!
If you want the best, then you have to be the best too. Some women are happy with the boys. Not me.0 -
I can't believe this discussion is still going on. :laugh:0
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I've been with my husband since I was 16, he was 17. We've been together for 19 years now, married 14.. He never had any girlfriends before me so thankfully I don't have to contend with any exes however if he ever said this to me saying that "other women" will be dressed up blah blah...I would have his bags packed. No ifs, ands or buts. No counselling needed. No apology would EVER take those harsh words back. Ever.
you would leave your husband of 14 years because he told you that he wanted you to look nice?
Probably not. I replied on impulse. But if he ever told me how to dress becaus so-and-so always dresses up then I'd have a tough time believing his true feelings when he compliments me. But I know my spouse and he would never EVER suggest I dress in a specific way because of so-and-so who will be all gussied up. He has his flaws but he also has tactful ways of talking to me.0
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