ladies is he being a jerk or gentleman???

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  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Your significant other( someone who you have been dating exclusively for a year) ask you to attend a popular event In your area and he says to you " I really need you looking your best my ex girlfriend always attends this event and I know she is going to be there and I know she is going to be dressed up" would you feel like he is being a jerk or would you feel that is a good heads up cause its not something you would normally get particularly dressed up and made up to attend?????

    Don't know his motivation, but I would never say something like that to my wife. She looks fabulous everywhere we go, but if she decided to accompany me in a gnatty purple terry cloth robe and her hair in curlers, I'd be proud to have her on my arm. And, trust me, everyone within my circle would treat her as if she were royalty.

    This right here is why I think you're awesome. It's not about what the lady looks like, it's about how her gentleman perceives and treats her. If he treats her like gold, she's gold.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Some people in this thread have their ovaries in a knot.

    Why is it that one sentence or suggestion immediately leads to "dump him/slap him" comments?

    Are you guys really that frelling sensitive in person..? One mis-worded/jerk line-- and you end a relationship or revert to physical attacks? Amazing.

    Ha ha ha!! Indeed! I'd really hate to be in some of the houses around here. The men have zero chance at saying anything right! I'm fine with my husband telling me the truth. If I ask him if something looks bad on me I'd prefer he say "Yes" instead of "No sweet heart! You look awesome!" and then have me go out looking like an idiot. But that's just me and, well, we have an honest marriage. :shrug:
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    To those suggesting how it should have been said - seems like you are taking it offensively on purpose.

    If you are saying that you understand his intentions but he phrased it poorly, and therefore would have been offended. Doesn't that make you deliberately obstructive.

    Nope, just offering constructive suggestions as to how he might phrase his request better, in case he hasn't yet said it, and/or to smooth future communications.

    No....it's just basic communications 101. There is a proper way to say something and a way not to say it. That's pretty much universal across the board.
  • tquig
    tquig Posts: 176 Member
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    After reading this thread i simply want to thank you MFP for making me love my wife and for helping me realize that I got one of the more sane ones! LMAO

    BTW- 'Ovaries in a knot' - f'n classic!!!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    I honestly think a lot of it has to do with the man, some men just do not know how to word things, hell some women don't know how to word things. I'm guilty of that, I can say one thing and it comes off rude but I never meant it as rude as it came off. Face to face I don't have a filter, and usually whatever comes to my mind pops out of my mouth, he might not have meant it like he said it.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    bah ha ha. Eight pages of women pissed off at some guy pot-stirring. Classic.

    Not all of us would be upset. I would say, "Thanks babe, so what should I wear?" I would look super hot for my man because I love him. No offense!!
  • FitBlitz
    FitBlitz Posts: 146
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    Some people in this thread have their ovaries in a knot.
    If I said this to my wife, my testicles would be in a knot.

    Bahahaha. Well, I guess some people take it better than others. I'm a female and I don't have any issue with the OP's statements-- my only qualm is with how some women are so ready to jump ship or beat the crap out of the guy for the line. lol
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
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    I would say jerk. Now, if you just told her your ex was going to be at that event, most likely she will do the rest herself anyway.
  • HJCsDaddy
    HJCsDaddy Posts: 419 Member
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    He shouldn't HAVE to ask you to look good, you should want to do it if you're going to a formal function.

    ($h!t storm commences in 3....2....1....)
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    I would probably not go. It makes it sound like he doesn't think I normally look nice. But I always make myself look good when me and my boyfriend go out. And he has said to me things like "oh so-and-so will be there (an ex). She's probably going to be jealous. You are way hotter than she is."
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
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    Jerk. i'd be pissed. as if he wouldn't think i'd be ready and look great *enough* for the event.

    P.S. she is justified in being pissed at you about this...
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
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    The current girlfiend could get rid of a lot of pounds by droppiing this guy.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    He shouldn't HAVE to ask you to look good, you should want to do it if you're going to a formal function.

    ($h!t storm commences in 3....2....1....)

    I have to agree. In all honesty I was sort of wondering how the OP looks every other time they go out if she has to be told to "look her best". No matter where I go I always dress up, even if I'm wearing jeans I dress it up with a nice top and sassy heels.
  • Jade17694
    Jade17694 Posts: 584 Member
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    To me, the worst thing a partner can say to me is about their ex being somewhere we're going to be so i have to look good...makes me think i look terrible normally! Lol.
  • IndyInk
    IndyInk Posts: 212
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    He's still in love with the ex. Get rid of him.
  • Patty_Petz
    Patty_Petz Posts: 91
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    bah ha ha. Eight pages of women pissed off at some guy pot-stirring. Classic.

    ^^^This *shakes head*
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
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    He shouldn't HAVE to ask you to look good, you should want to do it if you're going to a formal function.

    ($h!t storm commences in 3....2....1....)

    I have to agree. In all honesty I was sort of wondering how the OP looks every other time they go out if she has to be told to "look her best". No matter where I go I always dress up, even if I'm wearing jeans I dress it up with a nice top and sassy heels.

    I don't think it has to do with how she looks at other times. I think it's more to do with he is wanting to show up his ex and possibly make her jealous. Like I said before, though. All it would take for most women is to be told the ex will be there and they will probably dress up their best without you having to make it a point for them to do so.
  • tquig
    tquig Posts: 176 Member
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    You all did READ the original post where it says "...or would you feel that is a good heads up cause its not something you would normally get particularly dressed up and made up to attend".

    I bet if the guy didn't say anything and you didn't dress up, saw his ex looking less-than-your-best, you would all be pissed at the guy for not telling you to dress up. Wow, whole lot of crazy in this thread.
  • kacbldmm07
    kacbldmm07 Posts: 96
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    I don't think its rude per say... I would have phrased it different.. Aahmm left the ex out of it.... How about this event is important to me and I think we should go shopping for a new outfit for you. Because everyone looks their best, and I would want you to also. Then when you see the ex at the event say, wth there's my ex. if my husband said that to me I would flip.
  • homeport51
    homeport51 Posts: 198 Member
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    Ok... me personally.. I wouldn't mention the ex... I would just say, "Honey, what do you say we get really decked out for this event? Would be fun to dress up!"

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