ladies is he being a jerk or gentleman???

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Replies

  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    It's all in the wording. "I NEED YOU TO" do whatever. Could you goes so much further!
    Someone with sense would say my ex girlfriend will be there. It is a dressy event. Would you like to go? Not I need you to do this, because my ex will be there. Who does that!?! Big turn off. Maybe he talked to his ex that way too.

    I wouldn't think it's because he hurt her feelings, I think it's because he is ordering her to do something. Like he is treating her as if she wouldn't have enough common sense to figure it out on her own.
  • Yellowlass
    Yellowlass Posts: 57
    Total jerk, its a sure fine way to make a woman feel insecure:huh:
  • ashnm88
    ashnm88 Posts: 748
    I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
    -wtk

    deff this

    why the bleep would a "man" care about his freakin ex
    that would make me not go ..period

    Agree
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 235 Member
    lol thats the most beta thing ive ever heard strong insecurity

    ^^^^this
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.

    Smart man!
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 235 Member
    I always bring my "A" game so no worries here! :)
  • branflake6
    branflake6 Posts: 115
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...
  • branflake6
    branflake6 Posts: 115
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...
  • anima_gemella
    anima_gemella Posts: 243 Member
    Not cool. Why? Because I don't have the need to be compared to ANY other woman. Especially not an ex.

    THIS
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
    It COULD be that he is concerned that his ex is a b*** and will try to make you feel insecure. Best bet? ASK HIM WHY. Not the internet. The only way you'll know is by talking to your partner.
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
    Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.


    hahaha THIS :)

    but also - I vote JERK. although I realize that if you'd found out his ex was going from another/more passive source, you might have this thought yourself (because we womenfolk are just silly and vindictive) - but it is NOT appropriate for him to say that!
  • CharleneExtreme
    CharleneExtreme Posts: 372
    Hmmm.... I'd go with him - get really drunk, cause a scene and loudly announce that he's crap in bed....
  • Nightingale77
    Nightingale77 Posts: 23 Member
    total jerk.....lose him
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    I read all twelve pages of this thread and now my head is filled with the sound of clucking chickens. All this empathy and support from you sympathetic hoes is just bad advice.


    Please explain to me how these "hoes" are giving bad advice when he asked for a "ladies" point of view? No one asked for your outdated, male chauvinist viewpoint.
    Look, until the ring goes on, you're in a competition for his attention. Even after the ring goes on... you're probably still in a competition (plenty of proof of that in these threads, amirite?). Assuming that he's only got eyes for you is going to lead to disappointment unless he's Prince F'in Charming... and he clearly isn't PFC 'cause he's lacking in tact.

    Always act as if that his ex-girlfriend is a predatory down-*kitten* chick with a rockin' bod that plays Xbox like a boss and cooks perfect bacon and has no gag reflex so that you ALWAYS BRING YOUR "A" GAME instead of rolling to the black-tie function looking like a frumpy hag. Or don't - because if you don't care, don't put in the effort. If he matters to you, you'll work to keep him. If he doesn't, you go to the party, guzzle booze, and then smash faces with his bros. Either way you win.

    She is in competition for his attention? PLEASE! While men have to roll out all kinds of game, buy fancy dinners, etc just to get a woman, most women barely have to lift a finger to get a man. If you really think a woman is so lucky to have you because she is so effin desperate and has to continuously impress you, you need to open your eyes. Men are a dime a dozen and it's really not that difficult to get one, so maybe he should be impressing HER!

    Dude, relationships should be 50/50 - and as a matter of fact I am awesome so yes, a girl would be lucky to have me, and just like I want her to try and impress me all the time, I want to impress her all the time.

    See how that works?

    I am very secure in my marriage. Been with him for 24 years and 6 kids. He is a hot university professor. He is around 18-22 year old girls every single day. I hear how his female enrollment is always high. I hear how all the girls love taking his class and he is such a hottie. So, do not think that we are not in competition with other women! Other women WANT your man or they want your man to WANT them!

    So besides just wanting to be healthy, you better believe that I am motivated to keep myself looking my best for my man. I want these college girls to see me and think they do not stand a chance with my man because his wife looks so good. Again, my husband would never leave me....we love each other too much and we are best friends. BUT, I know how other women think and I know that other women are in "competition" with me, even if I do not know it!!

    Most of the time I am in workout clothes with my hair in a braid. But, I had to go to my husband's campus last week...he did not even have to tell me to look hot...I just did it (not slutty, but a classy sexy)! I wanted to make sure that these young chickies knew that he has good stuff at home and their services are not needed nor wanted. :wink:

    I think the OP's girlfriend should appreciate the heads up on the ex being there.
  • feistyhorsegal
    feistyhorsegal Posts: 109 Member
    haven't read the rest of the posts, but I say JERK!! Time to slap him!!
  • silkandsugar
    silkandsugar Posts: 125
    What a douche!
  • NewChristina
    NewChristina Posts: 250 Member
    agreed :mad:
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...

    Agreed!
  • chrisb75
    chrisb75 Posts: 395 Member
    I would never say this to my girlfriend. I am proud to have her on my arm whether she is in sweatpants and and t-shirt or a slinky black dress. When you love someone you don't care what other people think and you should ALWAYS be proud that she is yours.
  • jakidb
    jakidb Posts: 1,010 Member
    Maybe the intention wasnt mean..but the way it was said was Horrible!

    I totally agree
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...

    No u wouldn't. That's "internet courage" talking just like 75% of the women on here your not being honest ,not even with yourself. Cute post though..........
  • branflake6
    branflake6 Posts: 115
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...

    No u wouldn't. That's "internet courage" talking just like 75% of the women on here your not being honest ,not even with yourself. Cute post though..........

    Lmao shows that u don't know me, everyone who does know me totally knows I would do it with a big dumb smile on my face :tongue:
  • kleonarski
    kleonarski Posts: 29
    So. I think the summary of all of these posts is that women want to be decked out when the ex is around and look their best, but they don't want to be told by their boyfriend to do it. Just give them a heads up about the ex being there and they can figure the rest out all by themselves.
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...

    No u wouldn't. That's "internet courage" talking just like 75% of the women on here your not being honest ,not even with yourself. Cute post though..........
    Well, now, hold on... in fairness, this girl may just be a Juggalo. Showing up looking like that WOULD be dressing up for her.
  • tretheb
    tretheb Posts: 42 Member
    oh please ... most of us would have said ... why didn't you tell me or did you know she was going to be here ... I personally like to be the one looked at and not the one tugging on the elbow of my man ... how many of us are on a fitness site because there is something we don't like about ourselves .... i will grant you it dang sure could have been worded different but i hope my man would know me well enough to know i would want the heads up ... or he was concerned over me feeling inferior. it was presented very insensitively ..
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...

    No u wouldn't. That's "internet courage" talking just like 75% of the women on here your not being honest ,not even with yourself. Cute post though..........

    Lmao shows that u don't know me, everyone who does know me totally knows I would do it with a big dumb smile on my face :tongue:
    Thats right I dont know you from anyone else posting so I can only speak in generalities . But you read all these "I'll dump my guy cause he said something I didn't like" post and you just have to logically conclude that its internet courage. I mean let's really be honest who dates anyone for year(s) and the guy doesn't say something you don't like? It's kinda like everyone tries to purport their perfect the person they date or married is perfect and its just awesome everyday. GTFOH !
  • ashreynolds09
    ashreynolds09 Posts: 257 Member
    A.) I wouldn't attend the event....okay so maybe I'd dress like a total slob and attend. It would depend on my mood. and B) he'd be loooong gone so he could be with his ex that he is apparently still hanging on to.
  • heberlonghurst
    heberlonghurst Posts: 156
    If we were to flip the roles and it were the woman attending some type of event where her ex would be and she wanted her current boyfriend to look his best. How would she go about it?
  • ashreynolds09
    ashreynolds09 Posts: 257 Member
    I would show up with my hair a ratted mess, bright green eye shadow, hot pink lipstick with some on my teeth, a moo moo and slippers.
    Then I'd have to call it a wrap on that relationship sounds like if he is so concerned with making her jelous he must still have feelings for her...

    No u wouldn't. That's "internet courage" talking just like 75% of the women on here your not being honest ,not even with yourself. Cute post though..........

    Lmao shows that u don't know me, everyone who does know me totally knows I would do it with a big dumb smile on my face :tongue:

    I love that we had very similar posts...
  • Juliebean_1027
    Juliebean_1027 Posts: 713 Member
    Apparently I'm in the minority when I would actually appreciate this heads up. Maybe not the way it was said--I don't need a guy saying to me 'my ex is going to be there so you need to look better than her'--but I would absolutely want to know ahead of time. Not that I need to prove myself to her or anyone else, but women have a way of judging and comparing themselves to the other women in a room. It sounds shallow, but that's just the way it is.

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