ladies is he being a jerk or gentleman???

Options
12467…26

Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
    -wtk

    Ditto.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Options
    I really don't like the idea of being an "upgrade." I'm not a car or an object to be compared to. I am myself and we are together because we have a good relationship. Never in my life would I be happy to be told that I need to look my best to show up an ex. When I do dress up, it's for ME, so I feel good about myself, not because my entire worth depends on looking better than another girl.

    Good grief, so you guys are harping on the stinking "upgrade" get over it. It's a WORD.
    it's not just the word, it's the entire idea behind it.

    What? The idea that he likes you better than anyone he's been with before? OMG what an arsehole!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
    Options
    Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.

    LMAO!! For some people this is true.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Options
    I vote jerk! Obviously there are still some sort of unresolved feelings for this ex, or you...I mean, he....wouldn't care about what his ex thinks about his new girlfriend. Maybe you...I mean, uh, he....should quit focusing on getting vengance on his ex by showing off the new girl and start focusing on the relationship he's currently in. JERK!
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
    Options
    I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
    -wtk

    :flowerforyou:
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    Options
    I'll take the guys side on this one, this is a heads up, look if you run into the ex and you are introduced for some reason, YOU want to look your best. Hasn't anyone been there before? I sure have, was out running errands in a t-shirt and some jeans and ran into my guys ex at the store and she was just getting off work and was in a suit and heels. I felt like crap afterwards because she didn't get an opportunity to see his upgrade. Because I was caught off guard I didn't have my best foot forward and you only get one chance to make the first impression. Call me whatever you want but I'd like the opportunity to knock it home and show her that he's got quite a catch. If you go and aren't looking your best and he didn't tell you that you might run into her, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth? "Why didn't you tell me she was going to be there!" Your going to follow that up with knocking him upside the head and then mumbling to yourself for days about how you wished you;d have been wearing this or that, or that you'd fixed your hair or touched up your makeup.
    I really don't like the idea of being an "upgrade." I'm not a car or an object to be compared to. I am myself and we are together because we have a good relationship. Never in my life would I be happy to be told that I need to look my best to show up an ex. When I do dress up, it's for ME, so I feel good about myself, not because my entire worth depends on looking better than another girl.

    When you dress up it is for you.....no it's not.

    When people dress it is to make a statement to other people.
    No, it's not. It's because I feel nicer when I put some effort into my appearance. It's not to impress anyone else. I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who would care so much about looks to the point where I had to dress up to impress them.
  • helencounts
    helencounts Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    Nope, I would take it as a heads-up and make sure that I dressed so that he could be proud to have me on his arm and show her that he's not a loser. Afterall, if he's a loser why would I want to be with him, right? I would make my man proud! ;-)
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    Options
    I would probably be pretty pissed that he cares enough that he wants to impress her.. but at the same time, damn straight I going to look my best now knowing.

    I think if he changed the way he said it and maybe said " hey, just want to warn you that my ex gf will be there"... I don't think there was a need to ask your current gf to "look her best"
  • Mollydolly10
    Mollydolly10 Posts: 431 Member
    Options
    It would be rude for him to tell her to look nice, because not only does that imply that she doesn't normally look presentable enough, but might might also indicate that he is trying to impress the ex by using the current girlfriend.

    Much better solution would be to say "just a heads up, ______ might be there," just so she isn't caught off guard seeing her.

    I agree completely with this. A heads up is all that's needed, anything else is just rude
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
    Options
    That's ballzy. And insulting. If you've been dating this lady for a year and you have to ask her to look her best to one up your ex-girlfriend, you have serious mental issues and you shouldn't be putting all this stress on the person you should love. Sounds like your still in love with your ex and you should re-evaluate your situation with your present girlfriend. Or she should kick you in the balls, one of the two!
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    I would say it could be reworded...the way it's written here is a lil rude like "i don't think you hold a candle to her under normal circumstances so get dolled up." I'm sure there's a way to put it that wouldn't be so "my ex is hotter than you so get dressed up." Even better- buy her a new dress to get all dressed up in!
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
    Options
    I don't think he is being a jerk. It is just natural to want to shove your good looking significant other in your ex's face. I would appreciate the heads up if my bf said this to me and dress to the nines.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
    Options
    I'll take the guys side on this one, this is a heads up, look if you run into the ex and you are introduced for some reason, YOU want to look your best. Hasn't anyone been there before? I sure have, was out running errands in a t-shirt and some jeans and ran into my guys ex at the store and she was just getting off work and was in a suit and heels. I felt like crap afterwards because she didn't get an opportunity to see his upgrade. Because I was caught off guard I didn't have my best foot forward and you only get one chance to make the first impression. Call me whatever you want but I'd like the opportunity to knock it home and show her that he's got quite a catch. If you go and aren't looking your best and he didn't tell you that you might run into her, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth? "Why didn't you tell me she was going to be there!" Your going to follow that up with knocking him upside the head and then mumbling to yourself for days about how you wished you;d have been wearing this or that, or that you'd fixed your hair or touched up your makeup.
    I really don't like the idea of being an "upgrade." I'm not a car or an object to be compared to. I am myself and we are together because we have a good relationship. Never in my life would I be happy to be told that I need to look my best to show up an ex. When I do dress up, it's for ME, so I feel good about myself, not because my entire worth depends on looking better than another girl.

    When you dress up it is for you.....no it's not.

    When people dress it is to make a statement to other people.
    No, it's not. It's because I feel nicer when I put some effort into my appearance. It's not to impress anyone else. I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who would care so much about looks to the point where I had to dress up to impress them.

    Wait...think about this. Why do you feel nicer when you get dressed up? Why do you feel nicer wearing things that only other people see?
  • rainunrefined
    rainunrefined Posts: 850 Member
    Options
    Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.

    heh.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Options
    I think he deserves a thank you for the warning. Sure, he could have worded it better, but his intention was good.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    Options
    I would feel he was being a jerk and said male would get told to *kitten* off....if that were me.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    He would not be my boyfriend anymore if he was so concerned about what his ex thought about ANYTHING.
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
    Options
    Jerk.
  • bangersnmash90
    bangersnmash90 Posts: 88
    Options
    "I need you to look your best" is an insult. It's all about you.

    "I better warn you that my ex" [facial expression of slight disgust] "will probably be there. She always goes. Dressed to the nines." [Roll the eyes.] is a warning, and very welcome.

    ^^^THIS
  • geminigrl622
    geminigrl622 Posts: 144
    Options
    Jerk! Definitely jerk!

Categories