ladies is he being a jerk or gentleman???

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Replies

  • badgranola
    badgranola Posts: 67 Member
    I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
    -wtk

    Gotta agree with this
  • LilysMom28
    LilysMom28 Posts: 236 Member
    wow...that is def a jerk thing to say. I hope this is not something you've said to someone....
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
    Y'all are all off the mark.

    His ex is down for the freakiness, and if you show up looking hot enough he's gonna get to do two chicks at one time.


    twochicksatth128654867122996477.jpg
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    To add on...personally if I knew she was going to be there all dressed up I would pull out all the stops! :bigsmile:

    my bf and I ran into his ex at a bar one night...she had just broken up with her bf and was all dressed up in a cute dress and heels while I was wearing jeans....it was awkward. petty or not, if I knew she had been there all done up (and truthfully she did look very nice) I would have damn sure put more effort in!
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    Shooooot! I would be dressed to kill! I would not be offended....but I do not offend easily. If my DH said, I need you to look HOT because my ex is going to be there (now umm...we have been together for 24 years...but let's just say a HS reunion) You better believe that I would look so good that all the heads would turn! And if he had a favorite dress, I would wear it.

    I want my DH to show me off and I want to look good on his arm. When my DH went to my HS reunion....I was showing him off. He is sexy hot and I was proud that he was mine!!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    Think it would depend....Does the guy have a problem with being COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS about how his words sound. Did he really mean just to give a heads up or did he intentionally mean it as in just using her as arm candy...I mean I would like a heads up but if it was just a heads up I still would have dressed up... that's just me.
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
    I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
    -wtk

    Girl...you must not go roaming very far on internet......
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
    It's badly-phrased ("I need you to look your best because" - makes it about him and needing to one-up the ex), but personally, I'd appreciate the heads-up. Much more subtle (and likely to achieve the desired effect!) to say when discussing the event: " Just so you know, my ex is likely to be there. By the way, X is a pretty formal, dressy affair." or something of that sort. Most women loathe being left in the dark about dress-codes, official or otherwise, and knowing that the ex is likely to be there will, in most women, provoke a bit of extra effort on the appearance front.

    I agree with this. Men don't think like women, that's one of the things that make them fun. I would appreciate the heads-up, and if the situation was reversed I would really WANT to be able to say the same thing to him. In the end, he chooses to be with you, and it sounds like he knows that you "at your best" can outshine her at her best. He just wants her to see that he upgraded and he has a smokin' hot babe.
  • GoldenGirl1979
    GoldenGirl1979 Posts: 716 Member
    i think a heads up that the ex is going to be there is appropriate... & then leave it up to the woman to decide how she will proceed... she should want to look her best at all times anyway :wink:
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    I really don't like the idea of being an "upgrade." I'm not a car or an object to be compared to. I am myself and we are together because we have a good relationship. Never in my life would I be happy to be told that I need to look my best to show up an ex. When I do dress up, it's for ME, so I feel good about myself, not because my entire worth depends on looking better than another girl.

    Good grief, so you guys are harping on the stinking "upgrade" get over it. It's a WORD.
    it's not just the word, it's the entire idea behind it.

    What? The idea that he likes you better than anyone he's been with before? OMG what an arsehole!
    I haven't said anything remotely close to that, so I'm not going to waste my time responding.
    The title did say "ladies" didn't it? So he's asking for our opinion, and what a surprise, most of us thought it was rude.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Nope, I would take it as a heads-up and make sure that I dressed so that he could be proud to have me on his arm and show her that he's not a loser. Afterall, if he's a loser why would I want to be with him, right? I would make my man proud! ;-)

    Umm.....wow.
  • jleb5
    jleb5 Posts: 23 Member
    Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.
    Ah yes... a smart man among us! LOVE IT! hahaha
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I think he is way too concerned about appearances and is obviously making some mental comparisons between the ex and the current S/O, but as his S/O I wouldn't take it personally. I would do my best to please him, and then talk to him later about why he was so concerned about what the ex would think.
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    I think you are making a mistake by thinking a man is that deep. If he still had feelings for her, he would want to go alone, trying to talk you out of going. I think he wants to show up with you looking hot, to show the b*$@h he has moved on and she gave up a good thing. Why else would he be taking a hottie with him?
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 751 Member
    if it was my boyfriend, I would be alright with that. Vice versa, if I need him to be looking like the cover of GQ mag he better get it together in time for the event!
  • tamsinwhitfield
    tamsinwhitfield Posts: 135 Member
    Your significant other( someone who you have been dating exclusively for a year) ask you to attend a popular event In your area and he says to you " I really need you looking your best my ex girlfriend always attends this event and I know she is going to be there and I know she is going to be dressed up" would you feel like he is being a jerk or would you feel that is a good heads up cause its not something you would normally get particularly dressed up and made up to attend?????

    Would earn one smack in the face.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    "I need you to look your best" is an insult. It's all about you.

    "I better warn you that my ex" [facial expression of slight disgust] "will probably be there. She always goes. Dressed to the nines." [Roll the eyes.] is a warning, and very welcome.

    ^^^THIS

    If you have an sensitive SO, then this would be the right way to phrase it. If your SO is like me and has thick skin (I have 6 kids, 5 are boys...we just say it like it is) then be blunt. But, if you think it will offend her, just say it that nicer way.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    YOU SHOULD RECOMMEND THE FEEDING TUBE DIET TO THE GIRLFRIEND SO THAT SHE CAN LOOK HER BEST FOR THE EVENT BECAUSE ITS ALL THE RAGE AND LOOKS TO DO A GREAT JOB TO LOSE WEIGHT
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    oh my, terrible, terrible!! Very insulting.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    I think I would suddenly have a hair appointment during that particular event.

    Or counting grains of sand.

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