is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

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  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    Out of curiousity what was the site?

    daily strength.com .. i go to their bipolar support group. after this i'm going to stop going there. they werent that helpful.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    No it is not! And I would much rather you didn't have kids rather than to have them and then regret the decision for the rest of your life.
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 485 Member
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    You have every right to NOT want to have children. That is just as personal a decision as the people who CHOSE to have kids. What would be wrong is to go ahead and have kids when you are well aware that you are not "mom" material. They were the ones beind disrespectful! Dont listen to them!
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
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    41,no kids, got myself fixed years ago.

    I love kids too much to be a dad!

    Oh yeah, I have an Elementary Ed degree too, so I really do love kids.
  • michellelhartwig
    michellelhartwig Posts: 498 Member
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    You have made a decision that is yours alone to make! Kudos for sticking up for yourself and your beliefs!

    I have two kids...I love them dearly-most of the time...But if you ever change your mind-you can babysit my kids!!! lol :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    I think it's disrespectful to B**** someone out for whatever their choices are about having or not having children. It's none of their business and you owe them no explanations. I have four kids who I love dearly but I don't think procreating is a requirement to being a fulfilled human being! I know several people who've chosen not to have kids and they seem to be quite happy with their decision!
  • Plan2Be
    Plan2Be Posts: 12 Member
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    Depends on the website I guess ;)

    Your choice to want kids or not, is your own, hopefully.

    Being criticised one way or the other .... oh help me now, are we back in kindergarten ?

    Hopefully, you can move on from their opinion / criticism / whatevers.

    As to whether it's disrespectful or not, I have no idea ... disrespectful ... to what ?
  • nikki_marie05
    nikki_marie05 Posts: 92 Member
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    Not at all!

    The only thing that gets me is when someone who doesn't have kids try and tell me how to parent my child, that's when it gets disrespectful.

    As for not wanting children of your own, it's your life, you have the right to do with it what you please.
  • hailzp
    hailzp Posts: 903 Member
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    People get freaked out when others don't follow social norms. They are often closed minded and conservative. (Which seem to go hand in hand :P lol). Don't worry about it, it scares them because they can't see themselves diverting from the norm. Good for you to stick to your guns, kids are not everyone's cup of tea and nor should they be.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
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    Apparently people have gone kid crazy and expect that everyone in the world wants one or must have one, which is simply not true! I think it's totally respectable that you have decided that kids are not for you :)
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
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    If you don't want to have kids then don't have them. There are already too many people that didn't want to have kids that had them.
  • jillyt85
    jillyt85 Posts: 161 Member
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    That's ridiculous! You made a very responsible decision for yourself. If a person truly doesn't want a kid and don't think they'd be a good parent, it would be cruel to the child if they were guilted into having a baby. A lot of people should really consider what it means to have a baby and what it means to be a parent and then decide if they really want to make that commitment. There are too many idiots out there having babies. Not saying you're an idiot. This didn't come out at all how I meant it. I applaud you for knowing yourself and making the right decision for you.
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
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    Don't listen to them. People have a pretty screwed up idea of what you're supposed to do with your life.


    I have two kids. I find it very respectful when people choose not to have kids for very valid reasons. If you don't want them, why have them?
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    Don't listen to her, there is NOTHING disrespectful about choosing not to have kids!!! I too don't want to have children I have nieces and nephews and a god daughter, I feel no driving need I have any of my own ad not having them puts me in a better position to help my friends and family with kids.
    Good for you for making a decision now and sticking to that decision that will prevent you from a future that wouldnt have made you happy. You are in charge of your body and your future you don't need to let anyone make you feel bad or defensive about a choice that effects YOU and not her.

    Honestly it's pretty rediculous that she would even use those words, who the heck are you disrespecting??? Certainly not yourself and thats the only person effected by this choice!
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    I can't even think of in what situation, real or not, it would be considered disrespectful to not want to have kids. It's your body, your life, your choice and if you don't want them there's no law saying you have to have them. Personally I don't want kids either but that's more because I have a horrible disorder that I would pass on and I don't want them going through what I am.

    I did have a 23 year old woman tell a then 19 year old me that having kids was the only way to become an adult. Or rather, as she put it, "get f*cked, then have you a mess of kids." That's a mindset I find just as baffling.
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
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    You (meaning anyone) SHOULDN'T have kids if you don't WANT them. I had 2 and then we elected to have permanent birth control because we only wanted 2. So who would we be disrespecting for deciding to not have any more? Not meaning the OP, per se, just throwing a question out there. I would have never thought or used the word disrespectful. Weird.
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I don't want children... I never have, and I'm 99.9999% certain I never will.

    A number of people have told me I'll regret it. Other people simply don't understand my choice. Some people have called it selfish. But, I've never heard disrespectful before. How is it disrespectful?
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
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    Its your business, just don't change your mind after its too late.

    That's one of the things that people say to me regularly when I say I don't want kids.
    I knew when I was like 5 years old that I didn't want to be a parent. I will be 28 in a few weeks... so for 23 years I have felt this way! I don't think I will ever change my mind.

    and even if you did, you can adopt kids well into your 60's if you changed your mind then. So what's it their business anyway?

    I dont get people sometimes.
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    That's ridiculous! You made a very responsible decision for yourself. If a person truly doesn't want a kid and don't think they'd be a good parent, it would be cruel to the child if they were guilted into having a baby. A lot of people should really consider what it means to have a baby and what it means to be a parent and then decide if they really want to make that commitment. There are too many idiots out there having babies. Not saying you're an idiot. This didn't come out at all how I meant it. I applaud you for knowing yourself and making the right decision for you.

    ^^^^^ this!
  • juliexiuu
    juliexiuu Posts: 118
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    I think I would adopt before having kids of my own.
    The world's too overpopulated as it is and there are a ton of children out there with no parents.

    I'm still young though... lol

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