is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

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  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.

    i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.

    maybe i'm just being sensitive.

    And who in the HELL are we being disrespectful toward???
    I think the argument is that people are being disrespectful toward God since that's part of our purpose. Or something. For the record, I most certainly do not think this way. But I've been told this as well. (I am an atheist).
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
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    on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.

    i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.

    maybe i'm just being sensitive.

    You are very smart! You are not being disrespectful at all. You know what you want and that is a good thing. Would it be good to bring a child in this world that will end up feeling unwanted? That's just stupid. I have a child, and couldn't imagine life without her, but everyone's situation is different! Don't let stupid people bother you!! :)
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Absolutely not.

    My husband and I made the decision not to have any children. It was OUR decision to make. My mom was a bit put out when she found out we weren't going to have children but who cares? I'm not going to have them just because someone thinks I should. There are plenty of people out there who shouldn't have children and yet they do. I think if you know you don't want them then you shouldn't have them and screw anyone who says you're being "disrespectful". They're morons.
  • EndofEternity
    EndofEternity Posts: 108
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    It's because people are so overprotective of their little perfect angel buttercup princesses. If you say that you don't want kids to someone, they're probably thinking that their kids aren't good enough to you. That may be how it's "disrespectful".

    It's bull**** is what it is. I don't want to have kids.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I think it would be disrespectful to have kids if you don't want them! Not everybody wants kids. Just like not everybody wants to get married, not everybody wants pets, not everybody wants the same things in life period.

    Kids are a lifelong responsibility, not really one of those things you can just say "eh, I think I'll have kids today." I respect a person for acknowledging they don't want children and not having them, because unwanted children suffer the most in these situations.

    I have a 5 year old, and love my child and have plenty of friends with kids, but I also have friends who want nothing to do with parenthood. One of my best girlfriends doesn't even like being around kids. She just does not care for children and having kids would interfere with her lifestyle (she's a bit of a jet-setter). She actually told me one time "You know, I'm not a fan of kids. I'm that mean old lady who keeps her light off and doesn't hand out candy on Halloween. But your kid's pretty cool, I can hang out with him in small doses." I wasn't offended at all, kids just aren't everyone's cup of tea!
  • NSQuintana
    NSQuintana Posts: 207
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    Disrespectful to who? Yourself? Absolutely NOT! It's YOUR life and it would be YOUR responsibility. Who cares about what anybody else thinks because kids aren't for everybody. No offense, but don't be so sensitive. Can't please everybody.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    I would be offended.....by your looking well rested and having disposable income. =P


    No one should be forced to have kids. Its an ordeal and if you are not into it, the kids are the ones who tend to be hurt.
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
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    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.

    i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.

    there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.

    thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise. :)

    What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.

    So your thesis rests upon shaky assumptions. You think that there will be no consequences for your personal decision replicated by millions of personal decisions just like yours. When does the personal become the social? And when does a society jump off a cliff? Does it matter? Will you still be around mid-century when the mess happens?

    Demographers say the trend is set in stone because there are not enough young people of child bearing age around to increase the birthrate so as to prevent the inevitable.
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.

    i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.

    there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.

    thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise. :)

    What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.

    So your thesis rests upon shaky assumptions. You think that there will be no consequences for your personal decision replicated by millions of personal decisions just like yours. When does the personal become the social? And when does a society jump off a cliff? Does it matter? Will you still be around mid-century when the mess happens?

    Demographers say the trend is set in stone because there are not enough young people of child bearing age around to increase the birthrate so as to prevent the inevitable.

    I fail to see how a population decline caused by the elderly dying of natural causes and the younger generations not producing as many offspring is going to cause such awful consequences... please feel free to enlighten me! I'm not trying to pick a fight but I honestly don't see a problem with the earth's population, which has grown at incredible rates for many generations, shrinking. It will certainly cause changes but who's to say it will be so awful? and if demographers says the trend is set in stone already, well whats the point in me popping out half a dozen kids that I don't want? and where is the line? how many children are each couple required to have? and please site your sources!
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.


    the shakers believed that NO ONE should have children. I dont believe that, I'm fairly certain no one who has responded on here believes that, I'm thrilled that my sister had 3 kids and love them dearly, my best friend just had the most beautiful little girl (my godchild) being a parent isn't for everyone and comparing people who are making a rational, well informed choice not to have a child of their own to what amounts to a cult of people brainwashed into thinking they were doing God's will is pretty insulting.
  • ahubbard134
    ahubbard134 Posts: 61 Member
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    Thanks for sharing that info. Perhaps those people were pregnant and off their meds? Maybe that's why they were so upset. Either because they thought you were judging or because...they were off their meds?

    Either way, I think they shouldn't be taking it out on such a well mannered cat as you, Clyde.
  • ahubbard134
    ahubbard134 Posts: 61 Member
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    What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
    Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
    *Shorter lines at the grocery store
    *Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
    *No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!
  • AmateurSurgeon
    AmateurSurgeon Posts: 18
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    **** em, they probly shouldn't be having kids.
  • suzi67
    suzi67 Posts: 162 Member
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    As the offspring of someone who never wanted kids, I strongly recommend that you keep to your decision. All four of us knew that was the case and it didn't make for a wanted feeling. The pressure of that time was to have kids, but I don't think that is the norm anymore. I will always advise people this way, even my own children who, out of four of them, only one says they want children. I would never want grandchildren at the expense of my kids happiness.
    Much respect and support. :happy:
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
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    What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
    Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
    *Shorter lines at the grocery store
    *Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
    *No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!

    Well, no grocery store, for starters.
    No shipping.
    No produce.
    Nobody to make Ipads.
    Rainforest? Well trees will be growing through pavement, and several stories up in the abandoned high rises.

    In former East Germany, they are knocking down buildings because there is no one to live in them, and in some towns, there is not enough effluent to keep the sewer system running. In Japan, towns destroyed by the tsunami are not being rebuilt because everybody is too old to do it.

    There has been a paradigm shift but people are so stuck in the old way of thinking that they don't yet see. But there are starting to be some newspaper articles on it:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/21/china-grows-older-rich-video

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielknowles/100150427/has-george-osborne-set-off-a-demographic-time-bomb/

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/opinion/brooks-the-fertility-implosion.html?_r=2&ref=global-home

    Here is an article that cites the president of the Bank of Canada: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/business/Aging+population+boost+wages+interest+rates+Bank+Canada/6411301/story.html

    Keep your eyes open. And you'll hear more.
  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
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    What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
    Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
    *Shorter lines at the grocery store
    *Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
    *No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!

    Well, no grocery store, for starters.
    No shipping.
    No produce.
    Nobody to make Ipads.
    Rainforest? Well trees will be growing through pavement, and several stories up in the abandoned high rises.

    In former East Germany, they are knocking down buildings because there is no one to live in them, and in some towns, there is not enough effluent to keep the sewer system running. In Japan, towns destroyed by the tsunami are not being rebuilt because everybody is too old to do it.

    There has been a paradigm shift but people are so stuck in the old way of thinking that they don't yet see. But there are starting to be some newspaper articles on it:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/21/china-grows-older-rich-video

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielknowles/100150427/has-george-osborne-set-off-a-demographic-time-bomb/

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/opinion/brooks-the-fertility-implosion.html?_r=2&ref=global-home

    Here is an article that cites the president of the Bank of Canada: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/business/Aging+population+boost+wages+interest+rates+Bank+Canada/6411301/story.html

    Keep your eyes open. And you'll hear more.

    I'm quite sure the people having 12+ kids are more than covering my childfree slack
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
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    What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
    Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
    *Shorter lines at the grocery store
    *Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
    *No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!

    Well, no grocery store, for starters.
    No shipping.
    No produce.
    Nobody to make Ipads.
    Rainforest? Well trees will be growing through pavement, and several stories up in the abandoned high rises.

    In former East Germany, they are knocking down buildings because there is no one to live in them, and in some towns, there is not enough effluent to keep the sewer system running. In Japan, towns destroyed by the tsunami are not being rebuilt because everybody is too old to do it.

    There has been a paradigm shift but people are so stuck in the old way of thinking that they don't yet see. But there are starting to be some newspaper articles on it:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/21/china-grows-older-rich-video

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielknowles/100150427/has-george-osborne-set-off-a-demographic-time-bomb/

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/opinion/brooks-the-fertility-implosion.html?_r=2&ref=global-home

    Here is an article that cites the president of the Bank of Canada: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/business/Aging+population+boost+wages+interest+rates+Bank+Canada/6411301/story.html

    Keep your eyes open. And you'll hear more.

    I'm quite sure the people having 12+ kids are more than covering my childfree slack

    Wrong again. There are not enough young people of childbearing age around, and even if they all decided to have 12 kids (i.e. most of the people on this forum), there are not enough of them around to change the trend.

    It is the exceptional country where the population is able to maintain its numbers.
  • formersec
    formersec Posts: 233 Member
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    Sounds like those people have far more problems than being bipolar. You would do well to distance yourself from them. They are toxic.
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
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    I think it's disrespectful to have kids - Some a**hole brought their baby to see the Hunger Games! I was so pissed!!

    BTW - That was kind of a joke. But someone really did that.

    I don't want kids. And I hate when some parents are all judgmental about other peoples life choices. They wanted to be a baby factory, so be it. Don't rain down on everyone else's awesome disposable income filled lives.

    Can you tell I've experienced something like that before? Some people just suck. Unfortunately sometimes they also procreate.

    I have no problem with the non-preachy, I take care of my kids and are nice and lovely type of parents. I just don't like the *****y ones. That goes for every other *****y person that doesn't have kids too.
  • nancylj927
    nancylj927 Posts: 1
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    It's not disrepectful to not want kids. Don't ever feel guilty for your choice. I have 3 kids and love them all but it's not for everyone. Kids are a lot of work and they are expensive. :) With that said, I wouldn't trade my kids or decision for anything just as you shouldn't trade your decision or have kids just because people think you should.

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