is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

dhencel

Having children is your choice.. I didn't want any children either but then I decided I did after I was married a few years... I have one daughter.. My mother in law was very upset when we said that one was enough.... So don't let it upset you. It is your choice......

grassette

Disrespectful nope, selfish yep, but I don't say that to be mean. I'd say the reson most people don't want kids can be considered selfish (at least the one's I know), but I don't have an issue with that. It is your own choice, and in fact IF you don't want them then more power to ya.

I would argue that having children is an inherently selfish act. Why do people have children? Certainly not because they feel the need to selflessly take care of another person. If that were the case, they'd work in a hospital, daycare, or ay other profession where people spend time caregiving. No, people have children because they WANT a little being from their own DNA, that looks like them, and whom they can mold and shape to their own desires. That is an inherently selfish desire.

Many people who choose not to have kids are less selfish than most parents I know. And I'm a parent myself.

Boy, is the person who thinks like that ever going to have a surprise! The one thing about becoming a parent is that you don't know who you are going to get!

mmsilvia

This is a personal choice & it should only concern the two that would be the parents. No one should have a say in your decession to have children, other than you & your hubby. To each their own.

I tend to get negative attention because my husband & I have only one child. I hear about how my sons needs to have more siblings from everyone and I do mean everyone...inlaws, friends, coworkers, parents at the playground.

People don't understand that what they say can hurt. The topic to have none, one or five kids is personal and nobody should be made to bad for their decesion.

WickedGarden

i don't want kids, never have and never will (I was the victim of a parent that made it clear i was not wanted).

What I am sick of hearing is "why don't you want kids?"
"Because I don't"
and yet they keep asking "why"

so I have decided to have fun...
"Because there are already enough unwanted kids in the world...why add another one?"

emmaleigh47

I am a 32 year old woman who has known since childhood that I did not want kids. I barely played with dolls and when I did I played "doctor" or "teacher" not mommy. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE kids and I love more than I can hand them back when I am done with them. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece and I am a great aunt and very involved in their lives. But I am a nurse practitioner, and I take my job very seriously. I love my job and in answer to the obnoxious post about GOD blessing me ... yes he did. GOD blessed with a great brain and a great medical mind and the ability to take care of patients and make decisions that save lives. To have a child and take myself away from my true calling of my job would be selfish ... and why have a child if you are going to put them in day care. If you are going to have a child, they should be someone's first priority ...

Feel free to friend me if you want more "child-less" friends. Yes, people look at me funny when I explain why I do not have kids. A friend's husband who I just met this weekend had the best response though ...

"good you should not have children ... I dont think you would make a good mother." He did elaborate on that statement ... but I agree that I would not make a good mother!

grassette

I am a 32 year old woman who has known since childhood that I did not want kids. I barely played with dolls and when I did I played "doctor" or "teacher" not mommy. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE kids and I love more than I can hand them back when I am done with them. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece and I am a great aunt and very involved in their lives. But I am a nurse practitioner, and I take my job very seriously. I love my job and in answer to the obnoxious post about GOD blessing me ... yes he did. GOD blessed with a great brain and a great medical mind and the ability to take care of patients and make decisions that save lives. To have a child and take myself away from my true calling of my job would be selfish ... and why have a child if you are going to put them in day care. If you are going to have a child, they should be someone's first priority ...

Feel free to friend me if you want more "child-less" friends. Yes, people look at me funny when I explain why I do not have kids. A friend's husband who I just met this weekend had the best response though ...

"good you should not have children ... I dont think you would make a good mother." He did elaborate on that statement ... but I agree that I would not make a good mother!

You should have been a nun! They did a great job running hospitals and taking care of people, and keeping floors so clean they were like a diner plate! Nuns were never expected to have kids, and did not get any pressure from family to have any. It was a good, solid vocation that everybody respected. Now a days, there is no reason why you have to take the veil to give your life in unselfish service they way they did!

devonette

It's not disrespectful at all not to want kids! If those people gave no reason why they thought it was disrespectful, ignore what they said. If you think you would be a terrible mother, you have no maternal instincts, and no desire at all to have children, then not having them is exactly the right decision!

Out of curiousity what was the site?

I was going to ask the same thing! The only times I could conceivably see someone thinking it disrespectful is 1) if you married someone who you knew wanted children and did not make it clear up front that you didn't want them, thus disrespecting their wishes, 2) if you were raised in an Asian, Middle Eastern or other non-Western culture where it would be a sign of disrespect to your parents or husband, or c) if you were posting in a forum where there were people specifically mourning the fact that due to medical reasons they were unable to have children.

Ocarina

I also think that it is stupidly retarded when people say that marriage is all about having kids. Stupid stupid stupid!