is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

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  • kriskaryl
    kriskaryl Posts: 120 Member
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    Wow, It is a personal decision to have or not have kids. Sometimes they are a big surprise. When I was a young teenager, I never wanted kids. As I got older, I changed my mind and have 4 wonderful grown children, 4 wonderful kid-in-laws, and 7 beautiful grandchildren. But that was my choice. No one should degrade or judge someone who chooses not to have children. My hunny was married 2x before we met. He made a decision many years ago not to become a father. He was in the Navy and at sea most of his career. There may very well be some adults out there in the world that look like him, but no one has come forward in over 30 yrs. On the other hand, he has been a wonderful father figure for my kids and the best Poppa in the world.

    You have made a very responsible decision and I applaud you.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,230 Member
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    I can't imagine any way that it would be disrespectful... someone had their tampon fuse lit and chose a wrong word in the midst of it, I'm guessing.

    For what it's worth, I don't want kids either. Never really did, and contrary to popular saying, never "changed my mind when I got older".
  • salgalruns
    salgalruns Posts: 83 Member
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    I work at a school as a principal and have seen first hand (for about 25 years now) the number of people that should have NEVER had kids. They got into it either by accident or because they wanted "mini me's" to be friends with. It's actually pretty sad. I find myself doing more parenting every year to explain how to hold kids accountable and not give in to their every demand just because they tantrum.

    The parents who are amazing (and I know MANY) are ones that made a conscious decision to be parents, who understand the true commitment it takes to become a parent for life, and are willing to make that their priority. They also know and BOTH agree that this is what they desire. If only one of you wants kids, don't do it. Kids know. I've had too many tell me that they know they were an "accident" or that Mom (or Dad) really didn't want them or wishes they weren't there. They also hear EVERYTHING. Only if both can you really be headed toward success...and I don't guarantee it. Kids are TOUGH. They argue, they fight, they have their own opinions, and it takes someone that loves them and still holds them accountable no matter what.

    If it's not for you, I applaud you wholeheartedly for not having them and bringing kids into the world in a situation where it's just not the right thing.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,366 Member
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    It's disrespectful to tell someone else what they should do with their lives and bodies.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    it's a personal choice.
    my mom says that we are supposed to have children and that it's god's will.
    it's disrespectful to have a child and not care for it. goodness knows there are already too many unfit parents and not enough loving foster homes.

    my child has 4 legs, a tail, and loves me unconditionally forever.
  • carrotstick2012
    carrotstick2012 Posts: 161
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    There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. And you don't have to justify to other people what your reasons are.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    WHY have we evolved as a people who seem to think that it's ANY OF OUR **%$ing business what goes on in someone else's uterus? That makes me MENTAL.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,230 Member
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    it's a personal choice.
    my mom says that we are supposed to have children and that it's god's will.
    it's disrespectful to have a child and not care for it. goodness knows there are already too many unfit parents and not enough loving foster homes.

    my child has 4 legs, a tail, and loves me unconditionally forever.

    :D Yay for furbabies!
  • PixelTreason
    PixelTreason Posts: 226 Member
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    What the...?! Disrespectful? To whom?!


    Anyway, I'm 35 (and everyone is on my back about OMG IT'S ALMOST TOO LATE!!) and don't want kids.

    I wanted them when I was younger but the older I get the less I want them - and my boyfriend of 11 years agrees.

    I have too many friends who come to our nice, quiet, clean, stress-free house and tell me how much they miss that in their lives. I'm sure they wouldn't give up their kids for it (most of them wouldn't, anyway!) but if they could have made a different choice at the beginning? I've had a few tell me they would have chosen differently.

    Have kids, don't have kids - that's up to each couple/person. Nobody else's business but yours!


    Edit: Also, my dog is so much better than any pukey, drooling child. :P
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
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    It's disrespectful for people to tell you that you have to do something with your body that you don't choose to do. I don't want kids. I don't want to be pregnant. I plan to get sterilization surgery as soon as I can afford it. It's no one's business what we choose to do with our own bodies.
  • caviarblack
    caviarblack Posts: 41 Member
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    It's a personal choice, and frankly none of their business! It would be much more selfish to have a kid out of obligation. Brush them off, doll.
  • aproc
    aproc Posts: 1,033 Member
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    That does not even make sense to me... Some people just are not kid people or good with kids.. And not wanting any shouldn't make you horrible. It's ridiculous how people try to get in other's business and tell them how they should live their lives. =/
  • Purplegal32
    Purplegal32 Posts: 85 Member
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    Granted I would love to have kids but i can't. But with that being said that is plain crazy. If you don't want kids there is nothing wrong with that at all.. Don't get how that is disrespectful at all. Better to not have kids if you don't wan't them. What does make me nuts is when u see all these people who have kids that can't take care of them or just have them to get more money and food stamps from the government. That is what I call not only disrespectful but wrong on so many levels!
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    Ah, kids. The biggest contribution to landfill waste, co2 emissions, increased food prices and over population. But yes, obviously you're disrespectful for not wanting to contribute to that. This is what happens when people have it beaten into their brains from the age of 3 that they MUST have kids. Social engineering at its finest.

    People who don't want kids probably shouldn't have them. I don't really want kids either and to say it is "disrespectful" doesn't even make sense... but the above response is disturbing. I don't look at children like that, either. Yeesh.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    Ah, kids. The biggest contribution to landfill waste, co2 emissions, increased food prices and over population. But yes, obviously you're disrespectful for not wanting to contribute to that. This is what happens when people have it beaten into their brains from the age of 3 that they MUST have kids. Social engineering at its finest.

    People who don't want kids probably shouldn't have them. I don't really want kids either and to say it is "disrespectful" doesn't even make sense... but the above response is disturbing. I don't look at children like that, either. Yeesh.

    Agree with this.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    I cant imagne anyone being mad at you for not wanting kids. They're probably the same people who would be mad at you if you had kids and then said you didnt like them.

    doesnt matter what your reasons are, if you dont want kids, dont have them. Kids arent for everyone, and its really OK not to have them if you dont want to. There are lots of people who are happy, well adjusted, kind, considerate, giving, and dont have kids.


    Sheesh....

    ^^^This!! I have 6 kids but we wanted a lot. I have no problem with people not wanting kids!!
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
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    I look at it like this...

    If someone doesn't want to have kids, WHY would you want that person to have kids?

    It doesn't seem as though it would benefit the person or the kid...or anyone else.

    So, to reiterate an earlier comment...WTF?
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    it's a personal choice.
    my mom says that we are supposed to have children and that it's god's will.
    it's disrespectful to have a child and not care for it. goodness knows there are already too many unfit parents and not enough loving foster homes.

    my child has 4 legs, a tail, and loves me unconditionally forever.

    LOLOL I've been seeking God's will for some time now .... since your mom apparently has a direct line, do you think she could give me a call?
  • k011185
    k011185 Posts: 320 Member
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    Not having children when you either don't want or don't feel like you should, makes you a responsible adult, not disrespectful. sheesh.
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
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    Disrespectful to who exactly?

    I don't like kids, and I don't want kids. I don't give a damn what other people have to say about that.

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