is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

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Replies

  • thepanttherlady
    thepanttherlady Posts: 258 Member
    Can I send mine to your house for a little while? Man, I need a break! :D
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
    Everyone has their own opinions, I suppose. But, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
    We have an over population problem, anyway.
  • Kym1610
    Kym1610 Posts: 328 Member
    Better to be delibratley barren then stupidly fertile

    My husband and I do not have children and do not want children. At the end of the day it's a personal choice. One of the reasons we are not having children is because I don't see the point in having a child that is not 100% wanted!! Good on you for your choice!
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    It's not disrespectful to not have kids. It is however, VERY disrespectful, not to mention unkind, and irresponsible to have kids you don't actually want. Children are a huge commitment, the biggest one you'll ever make--it's not something you should do to please others, or feel like you should do to please others.
  • zeikiya989
    zeikiya989 Posts: 80
    Wow that's the craziest thing I ever heard. How in the heck is one being disrespectful for not wanting kids? And what about people like me who can't have kids? That is someones personal choice it has nothing to do with anyone else. What is disrespectful to this world and people who cant have kids, are parents who are blessed to have them and we hear about all these kids being killed by their own mothers and father.
  • pbajwally
    pbajwally Posts: 210 Member
    what's disrespectful is those who have litters that others have to put up with

    YES. THIS.

    It burns me to no end that there are so many poor, mistreated, unloved children out there who have "parents" that could care less about them. At the same time there are soooo many people who would give anything to have children & can't. You are not disrespectful. You are INTELLIGENT. Bravo for not being afraid to speak your mind. Don't let the haters get you down.
  • OKfreebird
    OKfreebird Posts: 33 Member
    I am sorry to hear that happened! No, I don't think that it is disrespectful that you don't want kids. Parenting isn't for everyone. It is a tough job and it takes a lot of responsibility to take care of kids. As well as expensive. Having children is a personal choice. You are not a terrible person for deciding that you don't want children. I think that the people who griped at you for not wanting children are just being ignorant and not only that they are being disrespectful themselves for getting on to you about it. If I were you, I woudn't pay attention to them and not worry about it. Again, I am sorry that happened.
    Rachel
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    That's one of the most idiotic things I've heard about on this site. No it is not "disrespectful" ... it's laughable that anyone would say that.

    I say you're smart! lol. (I love my kid I really do)
  • mec66901
    mec66901 Posts: 1
    I have 3 great kids, wanted kids as long as I can remember but it is certainly your right not to want them and doesn't make you a "bad"person. What would be "bad" would be to have kids because it was an expected social norm!
  • ForeverIrish
    ForeverIrish Posts: 227 Member
    Man, did this hit close to home. I made the decision not to have kids. It was a good one. People often make snarky comments about my choice, or they say, dripping with a 'cutesy' tone, "Oh, you'd be the best Mom ever."

    No, I wouldn't. I like sleeping at night. I like knowing that I'm never going to get a call from an angry teacher, a truant officer, the police, or a member of the clergy about some horrific thing my kid did at school our out in the community. Remember, even Adolf Hitler had a mother. Someone has to give birth to evil geniuses!

    I've been called selfish for not having children. The people that have criticized me for not having kids are the same rude people that touch the pregnant stomachs of women they don't know, I've noticed. I've noticed that the pregnant women don't enjoy that type of thing, either.

    Don't make apologies to anyone for a choice you have the right to make. If they don't like it, tell them to have a Coke and a smile.

    --Just my two cents.
  • Twilightsunflower
    Twilightsunflower Posts: 324 Member
    no your being honest. the people who said you are disrespectful should not be allowed to have kids themselves. no one should feel they have to have kids, unless they want to. i have a child and i love her more then my own life, which is good because she consumes it. and that is not a joke. kids take time and energy, more than anything else in life will.

    if you dont want kids dont have them, its still a choice.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    i'm overwhelmed by all this response! thank you so much. i dont know why this upset me so much, but after all your wonderful responses, i feel so much better. its nice to know there are others like me. :).

    and thank you to all the parents who responded, i really appreciate you being supportive.
  • Brea_81
    Brea_81 Posts: 36 Member
    I have 3 kids and love them to death. I've always known I wanted to be a mom and can't life without my kiddos. However, everyone has to make that decision for themselves. And no matter how strongly I feel about having kids, I would never consider someone else disrespectful or wrong for choosing not to have them. :)
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    How anyone can think that your choice is "disrespectful" is beyond me.

    Until I was 32 years old and married the right man, I didn't want kids either. Now I have two, and I have no regrets. Anyway, it's certainly better for you to decide that you DON'T want them rather than have them and say, "Oh, *kitten*, I hate these little brats." :tongue:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Maybe they are unable to have children themselves, so they are upset that you are able to and aren't?
  • ahubbard134
    ahubbard134 Posts: 61 Member
    What, exactly, did you post, Clyde? Just curious at how nonsensical that is. Maybe they took offense to a certain part of the post?
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.
  • justbecause2014
    justbecause2014 Posts: 371 Member
    It's your choice, if you choose not to pop out babies, fine by me! :) It's no one elses buisness if you have kids or not. I personally have no interest in having biological children, not with the amount of foster kids looking for forever homes! Everyone is allowed their own choice!
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
    I "chose" to not have kids also. It just goes to show that some people live in their own little world and don't have the diversity to see things from a different perspective. It amazes me how many people just expect to have kids without really giving it much thought. It's a CHOICE people!
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.

    You have GOT to be kidding me! Every thought about the world being a little overpopulated already? Geez.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
    My husband and I have 8 children and people don't understand our choice either.. they call us crazy, irresponsible, stupid... go figure I guess if you don't have the socially acceptable number of 1-2 children then your just wrong.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    What, exactly, did you post, Clyde? Just curious at how nonsensical that is. Maybe they took offense to a certain part of the post?

    it was a conversation on private message about taking meds. i said i'm not having kids because i dont want to go off my meds. he said, wow, thats pretty disrespectful. i asked why, didnt get an answer back from him, but got two pm's from two women i didnt know well, saying i was a horrible *****, and how dare i look down on them.

    so they may have taken my reason for not having kids to mean that i was looking down on any one who did get pregnant and continued their meds or had to go off them.. i dont know. normally i would have told him to keep his opinion to himself. i think i was jsut feeling sensitive today. and the disrespectful thing threw me.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    i know plenty of people who dont want kids..my little cousin was one of them, and she ended up getting pregnant, and now she cant believe she ever not wanted them..getting married is what she now claims she will never do, even tho she has been with the same man for plenty of years:wink: anywho, if you dont want kids, dont have them, and dont let other people make you feel bad for YOUR choice..good luck, cheer up:flowerforyou:
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.

    i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.

    there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.

    thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise. :)
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
    What a stupid thing for them to get mad at you about. It's your uterus, isn't it? Not everyone adores those screaming, constantly sticky little humans...
  • DisneyAddictRW
    DisneyAddictRW Posts: 800 Member
    My sister loves kids. She helps me with daycare as a part time job. However she doesn't want to have kid's. I think it's a person's choice and who am I to judge what they want. Some people don't agre with people having big families. Honestly you know what is best for you and no one else should judge you for that choice.
  • angemarie23
    angemarie23 Posts: 55
    Of course it's not disrespectful to not want kids. That's ridiculous. However some people who feel this way give reasons that insult those who do want kids. One example is a woman who told me she doesn't want kids because it's selfish to have kids. Now that I had a problem with - not a problem with her not wanting kids, but a problem with the fact that she judges others who do want kids by saying they're selfish. I'm sure you didn't insult anyone but just giving an example.

    Exactly. Unless you said something to someone who has or wants children that would make them feel less than worthy because they wanted children...then simply not wanting children in itself isn't disrespectful or selfish.
  • Changing__Christina
    Changing__Christina Posts: 245 Member
    Keep in mind I didn't read this entire thread, but I wanted to say...I find it disrespectful when people DO have children and then don't take care of them and expect me and my tax dollars to pay for them. I would rather most of these horrible parents go childless. That isn't disrespectful at all. It is responsible!
  • amalthea23
    amalthea23 Posts: 44 Member
    It's disrespectful TO THE KIDS and to yourself to have them for any reason other than your desire to make parenting the central focus of your life. Whomever that was, too bad THEIR parents weren't more "disrespectful."
  • wdwghettogirl
    wdwghettogirl Posts: 559 Member
    on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.

    i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.

    maybe i'm just being sensitive.

    OMG! I posted something about not wanting kids on facebook and it turned into a HUGE ordeal! People calling names, taking sides... nothing at ALL about what was even in my original post. It was ridiculous! Even my own brother was calling me ignorant and taking everything I said personally like I was attacking him... you'd think I had just said "Hey bro, I hate your kids!" *Ugh!*

    I 100% agree with you that you shouldn't have kids unless you want them, are ready for them, and can support a family. No one should have children out of obligation, or guilt, or "All my friends are having babies, I guess I should too." I, personally, think it's disrespectful and irresponsible for people TO have babies when they aren't prepared, or for a lame reason (like "obligation").

    You have your reasons. They are legitimate. People need to respect that, and respect your decision, because it is, after all, YOUR decision (and your SO... should be a team thing. lol) You're not a horrible person, you're not disrespecting anyone... people just need to mind their own damn business!

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