Need girls and guy answers

yoashisme
yoashisme Posts: 48 Member
edited December 18 in Chit-Chat
alright so my husband and I want to try for a baby soon. Well I told him I was going to stop drinking next month and he said he would to. Now today he says why should I stop your having the baby. I feel like if he didn't want to he should have told me that when we had our four hour talk about it. I didn't push him into saying don't drink but now it hurts that he wouldnt stop.How do u guys and girls feel... What ould u guys do?
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Replies

  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    I'd have a beer.
  • bwmiller1
    bwmiller1 Posts: 98
    He needs to stop. You're the one that will be doing so much during the pregnancy. He needs to show his support for you and the baby. its a small sacrifice in the bigger scheme....says the guy with beer bottles in his profile.
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 583 Member
    As a guy, if i was planning to have a child with someone and their commitment wouldnt even go as far as giving up booze with me, i would be seriously rethinking my choices.

    When baby comes, theres going to a lot more sacrifices required than something as trivial as giving up booze.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    I'd have a beer.

    Several beers.

    Increases the chances of conception.
  • lour441
    lour441 Posts: 543 Member
    I rarely drink but when my wife was pregnant I made it a point to order her favorite drink and enjoy it in front of her.
  • vahlkyree
    vahlkyree Posts: 10
    ....says the guy with beer bottles in his profile.

    This made me lol
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    I think you should postpone the whole baby thing..
  • havok46
    havok46 Posts: 4
    Both should stop drinking if you are "Trying". It affects both parties, for him it could make the swimmers less, or slower...or both and therefore not happen. Just try to remove as much pressure on both of you during this time....and have fun...and good luck!!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    What do you get if you win this one?
  • MyTime1985
    MyTime1985 Posts: 456 Member
    As a guy, if i was planning to have a child with someone and their commitment wouldnt even go as far as giving up booze with me, i would be seriously rethinking my choices.

    When baby comes, theres going to a lot more sacrifices required than something as trivial as giving up booze.

    This!
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    Your guy isn't @adrian_indy is it? Because I if that's the case, you probably have nothing to worry about..
  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
    I'd be re-thinking having a baby with him.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    My husband never gave up beer and I didn't expect him to. The only reason to give it up is for the health of the baby (unless we are talking about a lot of alcohol consumption). His drinking had nothing to do with the health of the baby so I didn't mind. There are other ways to show support and commitment that are much more important in my opinion. We both drank while we were trying to get pregnant and not only did we get pregnant quickly, both babies were just fine.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    I think you should postpone the whole baby thing..

    Hahahahaha yes.


    No but really, I personally don't see why he should have to not drink at all BUT if he made the commitment to stop in support of you having to stop, it's pretty crappy he's backing out now.
  • Nekhet
    Nekhet Posts: 380
    He shouldn't have said he would stop if he didn't really mean it...sounds like a lack of communication there. NOW, why would you want him to stop drinking as well? is drinking a problem here? I guess it depends on the level of drinking we are talking about. If he has a beer with dinner or with a friend that shouldn't be a big deal BUT...if he is going out to drink on a bender with buddies for the weekend and leaving you all alone...that would be an issue. I understand the not drinking together because of the baby and if that was the agreement and he is not keeping it...that goes a long way to speaking about maturity and if he is ready for the committment to being a dad. So many questions and also not knowing all the circumstances make it hard to give you a clear or concise answer...I'm not judging him or you...just bringing up points.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    He needs to stop. You're the one that will be doing so much during the pregnancy. He needs to show his support for you and the baby. its a small sacrifice in the bigger scheme....says the guy with beer bottles in his profile.

    But that's Red Stripe. Not just any beer.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    When I was pregnant, I couldn't stand the smell of alcohol, tobacco, anything sweet or raw/undercooked meat. This might be a consideration as well. The 'biological contributor' didn't quit drinking, smoking or cooking meat in the house, so I barfed a lot and was constantly miserable.
  • SirBen81
    SirBen81 Posts: 396 Member
    If I were going through a hardship, I wouldn't want my wife to share some aspect of the hardship for no reason. There are more productive ways to be supportive.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
    I gave up caffeine and alcohol when my wife got pregnant. Maybe I'm just a sap, but considering everything she had to go through to give birth, it seemed like the least I could do.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    When I was pregnant, I couldn't stand the smell of alcohol, tobacco, anything sweet or raw/undercooked meat. This might be a consideration as well. The 'biological contributor' didn't quit drinking, smoking or cooking meat in the house, so I barfed a lot and was constantly miserable.

    :( That sucks! When I was pregnant the smell of coffee made me want to puke (couldn't drink coffee again for like 2 years), and my work was literally next to a coffee house that would grind their own beans every morning. Effing torture.
  • Zara150
    Zara150 Posts: 53 Member
    Ok, it's scientifically proven. ALCOHOL REMAINS IN YOUR BODY FOR 40 days. Even if he stops he still has alcohol in his blood for more than a month. I know it's sad, but it will affect your baby too. He can have problems with health, and serious ones! talk to him, if you guys are serious, you both must be responsible enough to handle that! Good luck <3
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    Your guy isn't @adrian_indy is it? Because I if that's the case, you probably have nothing to worry about..

    Bwahahahahah
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    I gave up caffeine and alcohol when my wife got pregnant. Maybe I'm just a sap, but considering everything she had to go through to give birth, it seemed like the least I could do.
    :flowerforyou:
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    My husband didn't stop when I got PG with our son and it stunk. However...about 2 months later, he was forced to stop because of some medication he was put on. It made it seem like what I was going through was easier knowing neither of us could drink. Not that we both couldn't have used a belt or four during those months....
  • strandedj
    strandedj Posts: 128
    My daughter's friend is expecting in June and her "boyfriend" gave up drinking to show his support. I think that is admirable, although it was never expected in my generation.
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    A man and woman is only as good as their word. He should not have committed to stop if he really did not mean it.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I didn't and wouldn't stop. That's silly. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to have a designated driver, that my drinking might have increased during that time. LOL.
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,115 Member
    My husband didn't quit drinking when I was pregnant and I never even thought of asking him to. The only thing I asked was that when I was in my last month that he wouldn't drink so I would at least have a ride to the hospital when I went into labor. I really do not think you should expect him to quit your not supposed to because of the health of the baby. Although my sister in law who is 5 months was drinking wine at easter evidently all the craze is now after the 1st trimester you can have a drink every once in awhile. There are so many other things that you can do to him at least let him have that one vice.
  • kristilovescake
    kristilovescake Posts: 669 Member
    I think it depends on what your reasons are for him quitting drinking. If it were me, I wouldn't care if my husband drank while I was pregnant but that's because he rarely does and it doesn't bother me. Unless you are having difficulty conceiving, what is the problem with him having a few drinks even if you can't? I would first sort out the reason you want him to quit and then start there and have an other conversation with him. Are your reasons rational or do you want him to suffer because you'll suffer? If your man has a drinking problem, then you need to get that sorted out before you start a family. You don't want your kid to grow up with an alcoholic father.
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    That's jacked up he could have done what I did and just snuck around and drank when you weren't lookin.
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