Need girls and guy answers

1246

Replies

  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    as long as he isn't an alcoholic, i don't see the problem with him drinking. Yeah, he could be more supportive by not drinking..but it's not a deal breaker. lol
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    alright so my husband and I want to try for a baby soon. Well I told him I was going to stop drinking next month and he said he would to. Now today he says why should I stop your having the baby. I feel like if he didn't want to he should have told me that when we had our four hour talk about it. I didn't push him into saying don't drink but now it hurts that he wouldnt stop.How do u guys and girls feel... What ould u guys do?

    You guys talked for 4 hours about it? Like, straight? In a row? Were there at least bathroom breaks and lunch catered in?
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    I would never expect my husband to quit drinking if I were pregnant. But that's me. If it bothers you, TALK to him about it.

    This! And I can still go out with him to the bar and visit...Then drive him home safely. :wink:
  • abnerner
    abnerner Posts: 452 Member
    As a guy, if i was planning to have a child with someone and their commitment wouldnt even go as far as giving up booze with me, i would be seriously rethinking my choices.

    When baby comes, theres going to a lot more sacrifices required than something as trivial as giving up booze.

    ^This
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I can kind of understand why so many people are saying, "You're the one with the baby, so there's no reason he has to stop drinking," but I think it's missing the point. No, he doesn't HAVE to, but if it's important to his wife, there's no reason he SHOULDN'T. If he can't do something simple as not obtaining and consuming alcohol for a while, he's either an alcoholic or he doesn't care about his wife's feelings. You don't have to understand everything your significant other does, but they should still be your priority.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    Your guy isn't @adrian_indy is it? Because I if that's the case, you probably have nothing to worry about..
    Ahahaha... thank you for this!
  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
    Divorce is always the answer. Always.

    I mean, seriously.. there's no point to discussing this rationally with your husband.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I can't see ever asking my husband to give up alcohol while I'm pregnant just because I can't drink. That doesn't make any sense to me.

    I would, however, be pissed if he committed to something without thinking it through and later backed out on it. That's a sign of weakness, even if it is just beer.
  • jdorsey614
    jdorsey614 Posts: 17 Member
    GOOD ANSWER~
  • RikanSoulja
    RikanSoulja Posts: 463 Member
    I don't get it.. Why stop drinking? Are you guys alcoholics? I mean I understand you if your gonna be pregnant by why him?
  • katkat1717
    katkat1717 Posts: 143 Member
    I gave up caffeine and alcohol when my wife got pregnant. Maybe I'm just a sap, but considering everything she had to go through to give birth, it seemed like the least I could do.

    That is sooo super sweet!!:flowerforyou:
  • redsonja1313
    redsonja1313 Posts: 10
    just because you are gestating doesn't mean the world should have to suffer---- and hey your hubby is part of that universe. The world is NOT FAIR- if you choose to have a baby then you choose to make decisions for your body that affect the baby. Weather he drinks or not is irrelevant to your gestation !! So as long as he isn't a raging alcoholic, leave it alone as an adult he is allowed to change his mind and NOT have it be a reflection on how he feels about you or having a baby. Maybe he just decided some meals taste better with beer !!!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I can't see ever asking my husband to give up alcohol while I'm pregnant just because I can't drink. That doesn't make any sense to me.

    I would, however, be pissed if he committed to something without thinking it through and later backed out on it. That's a sign of weakness, even if it is just beer.

    ^^ good answer!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    When my parents got pregnant with me, they were both smokers and they quit for me, even though my dad wasn't carrying me! To me, that is the ultimate sacrifice, to give up an addiction for your child.

    Not sure how much you all drink and how much you do has a lot to do with my answer.

    If you're heavy drinkers - yes, you both need to quit.
    If he is a heavy drinker - he needs to give up his hard-partying ways then. Being a partier and having a child are two seperate things that cannot co-exist. You shouldn't be sitting at home sober while he is out partying every night.
    If you're "one beer with dinner" drinkers - I don't see why he needs to give up the occasional beer.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    My husband started drinking much more when I was pregnant.

    We're divorced.
  • kfhoffman12
    kfhoffman12 Posts: 67
    As a guy, if i was planning to have a child with someone and their commitment wouldnt even go as far as giving up booze with me, i would be seriously rethinking my choices.

    When baby comes, theres going to a lot more sacrifices required than something as trivial as giving up booze.

    pretty much this, starting a family will change your life drasticly, if he is not will to help now then will he help with the baby, will he give up his nights out with the guys so that you can have an evening to yourself? I think you two need another talk about maturity and if either of you are really ready for the giant commitment.

    Again no offense to either but I think both of these statements are completely asinine. BEcause a guy wouldnt give up having a beer when the wife's pregnant means he wont be committed to family and make the real sacrifices? Ludicrous.

    Definitely agree with the last post... if you gave up chocolate while you were on your period would you ask him to do the same thing? I dont see what the problem is with him having or not having some alcohol. Unless it is going to effect YOU and be hard on you to sit there and watch him drink without having one yourself. imho
  • LolasEpicJourney
    LolasEpicJourney Posts: 1,010 Member
    I think the point is he said he would give it up and now he said he won't. I'm fortunate my husband gave up his desire to even have one drink a few years ago.
    If its something that important to you that he doesn't drink that should be important to him to
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    When my parents got pregnant with me, they were both smokers and they quit for me, even though my dad wasn't carrying me! To me, that is the ultimate sacrifice, to give up an addiction for your child.

    Not sure how much you all drink. But you shouldn't be sitting at home sober while he is out partying every night. But at the same time, I don't see why he needs to give up the occasional beer (but if he is a partier, then yes he needs to give it up).

    This is a little different as daddy's smoking can affect the little lima bean where his drinking (unless excessive and violent) doesn't.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    So what you are really saying is that You dont have enough self control with your drinking?? So him drinking around you may make you want to...HONEY You sure you are ready to have a baby? Sorry but if you cant handle not drinking becasue you are caring a precious life inside you then you should wait until you are ready !
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    just because you are gestating doesn't mean the world should have to suffer---- and hey your hubby is part of that universe. The world is NOT FAIR- if you choose to have a baby then you choose to make decisions for your body that affect the baby. Weather he drinks or not is irrelevant to your gestation !! So as long as he isn't a raging alcoholic, leave it alone as an adult he is allowed to change his mind and NOT have it be a reflection on how he feels about you or having a baby. Maybe he just decided some meals taste better with beer !!!

    LMAO I love this.....I swear no offense, but unless this dude is a full on alchy I think the ppl on this thread who are saying the husband is a bad guy and the wife should rethink her choices are completely OUT OF THEIR FREAKING MINDS.

    If my wife talked to me for FOUR HOURS about my drinking and I wasnt an alky and it was all because I said I would quit but then decided not too....well Id RUN FOR THE BORDER.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I gave up caffeine and alcohol when my wife got pregnant. Maybe I'm just a sap, but considering everything she had to go through to give birth, it seemed like the least I could do.
    That really is extremely sweet.
    Unusual and not to be expected, but very very sweet.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    They have a 12 step program for that...sounds like the drinking is more of a problem than you may think !

    Just because a person wants a beer or two doesn't mean they're an alcoholic...
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    I think the point is he said he would give it up and now he said he won't. I'm fortunate my husband gave up his desire to even have one drink a few years ago.
    If its something that important to you that he doesn't drink that should be important to him to

    So people are supposed to automatically align priorities when they get married? What if it's important to him that you not become fat and you do? Oh wait, this might not be the best forum to ask that question....
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I rarely drink but when my wife was pregnant I made it a point to order her favorite drink and enjoy it in front of her.

    This
  • kaetmarie
    kaetmarie Posts: 668 Member
    Lots of people said this already, but I think the bigger issue is the saying he will and then going back on it. TALK TO HIM about it if it's really upsetting you.

    Personally, when my husband and I start trying -- I have no expectation of him giving up drinking. When I found out I was allergic to gluten, I didn't expect him to stop eating it too ... and that doesn't mean he's not supportive of me and my needs.

    If this is a real issue though, I'm guessing it's bigger than beer and I would seriously talk it over before having kids together.
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    I gave up caffeine and alcohol when my wife got pregnant. Maybe I'm just a sap, but considering everything she had to go through to give birth, it seemed like the least I could do.
    That really is extremely sweet.
    Unusual and not to be expected, but very very sweet.

    Yep..u r right...you are a sap.
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    My husband started drinking much more when I was pregnant.

    We're divorced.

    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
    I lol'd at this one. Supposedly my hubby was gonna quit but it never happened. All my friends' husbands took the same vow and it failed as well.

    Do you really expect him to quit? Honestly? I never did. It would have been nice but seriously, you can't expect him to understand what carrying a child is like. And after your first trimester you can have an occasional glass of wine although I never did. But I am not a drinker either. Why quit drinking now anyways? Do some family planning and drink when you know you can't be pregnant. The only thing you really need to change when planning to get knocked up is to start taking folic acid for 6 months if possible.

    Relax. There is plenty of time to argue AFTER the baby is born when neither of you are sleeping.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    They have a 12 step program for that...sounds like the drinking is more of a problem than you may think !

    Just because a person wants a beer or two doesn't mean they're an alcoholic...

    I agree. but when you have committed that you will stop and then CANNOT maybe there is a problem
  • Speedtrap
    Speedtrap Posts: 216
    When my wife was pregnant, she did not ask me to quit drinking, in fact she looked at all the times I acted as the DD for her and her friends on girls night and told me to enjoy having a DD for the next 9 months.

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