Harsh words & bashing instead of support & motivation?

UsedToBeHusky

Well I just don't see anyone intentionally belittling others. I see people who are hyper-sensitive react hyper-sensitively to just about any and every issue. But this is the internet. It is like the theory of random. Any type of jerk you can think of exists somewhere on the internet.

MFP has features that allow you to customize your site browsing enjoyment to suit your own tastes. Use them and stop complaining.

Reedern

For those of you who actually understood what my whole point was, I thank you and commend you. For those who took it all wrong or out of context, maybe you should read the original post again and try to actually think about it from the perspective it was meant. I am not talking about being rough with telling people when they could use advice on what they are eating or how they are exercising. I am simply talking about the ones that have to belittle others for no reason at all and make them feel as though they are less than a human. Nobody on here is better than anyone else and nobody's opinions are better or worse, We all have our own, which is great. I just don't think there is a need to be ignorant and put people down who are trying to better themselves. As far as me saying that we are all here for the same reason.... well we ARE.... and if you read what I wrote to begin this thread I said specifically to be healthy. I never said specifically to lose or gain weight or bodybuild. Thanks

Yet, those that don't agree with you are less than you. As a matter of fact, they're being ignorant.

Well played.

Haha, yes that is exactly what I said.... I don't think so. You don't have to share my views and if people comment on something they know nothing about.... well that fits into the very definition of ignorance.

Ignorance: lack of knowledge or education, unawareness of something, often of something important

JetMechRN

You are absolutely correct! There should not be bullying or bashing on this site. I think we all have the same desire to get healthier and feel better about ourselves. The website is My Fitness Pal and my pals do not bully!

runs4zen

I tend to ignore those folks who find it necessary to be rude/put others down.

YEP! Best button EVER on here. I started reading the forums and occassionally chipping in when I could hit the ignore button on some of the more prolific posters who think sarcasm and rudeness are legitimate responses to absolutely everything. And...I encourage those folks to ignore me too so I don't ruin their otherwise perfect nastiness!

hillm12345

Just like others have said in this topic, if I see for the 100th time someone posting about how "this is my first week of fitness and I have gained and I feel like giving up and oh gosh I just can't seem to eat all 1200 calories I don't know what to do" I'm not going to be very sympathetic because frankly, the statements are ignorant.

I would love to support those who truly use this site as a fitness site and actually post things for A) the good of all, or to share success... and NO I will not support self loathing, or self pity, or anything else that one puts up here for the sheer fact of seeking attention.

But frankly darling, after the 100th thread of "oh gosh why can't we all just get along" my sympathy for even these threads is at it's breaking point.
Carry on... Happy Tuesday

Elzecat

I recently read several posts where fellow MFPers are saying harsh things to one another or pushing their views on others. Aren't we all here for the same reason? To get healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle for the duration? The last thing I want to see is someone being put down for trying. There is NO excuse for bullies no matter what age, race, weight, etc. Everyone is entitled to their own views, opinions and beliefs and although you do NOT have to agree with them, please keep your negative and self-esteem crunching comments off and just agree to disagree and move on with your own successes. Now, let's get back to helping each other and MOTIVATING and SUPPORTING each other in our journeys! Thanks, and good luck to all!

As one who got bashed in the past. Totally agree. We are here to help, encourage, and support each other. So lets all stop acting like we're kids on a play ground and be the support we would want to get or better.

Nicely said

Elzecat

There's a big difference between providing constructive criticism and bashing or purposely being mean/snarky/nasty/insulting whateveryouwannacallit.

People like to say they're "telling it like it is" when in reality they're just using that as an excuse to be hurtful or cruel. It is possible to use (gasp) tact when giving advice/criticism.

My mother used to be a theater critic. She repeatedly got compliments from the local theater community for how she wrote about various shows and the actors in those shows. Why? Because she found a way to focus on the positives that she saw, and provided constructive criticism of the negatives WITHOUT being unnecessarily insulting or nasty, unlike several of her colleagues.

People are entitled to their own opinions. There is a lot of great information and a lot of well-informed folks here at MFP, and I like to hear what different people have to say, even if I may not agree with it. But having your own opinion doesn't give a person the right to be downright mean or start calling others names. Think about it--the stuff that we write to others on forums--would you be willing to write that kind of thing to your closest real-life friends? Would you really tell your best bud they're stupid for doing something, or would you find a more positive way to help them out? Would you be willing to hurt your friends on purpose? Personally, I'm not. I may not know too many MFp'ers "in real life" but I like to treat them as I treat my real life friends and acquaintances--with courtesy and respect, even when we disagree. It IS possible to disagree without bashing. :glasses:

crisanderson27

For those of you who actually understood what my whole point was, I thank you and commend you. For those who took it all wrong or out of context, maybe you should read the original post again and try to actually think about it from the perspective it was meant. I am not talking about being rough with telling people when they could use advice on what they are eating or how they are exercising. I am simply talking about the ones that have to belittle others for no reason at all and make them feel as though they are less than a human. Nobody on here is better than anyone else and nobody's opinions are better or worse, We all have our own, which is great. I just don't think there is a need to be ignorant and put people down who are trying to better themselves. As far as me saying that we are all here for the same reason.... well we ARE.... and if you read what I wrote to begin this thread I said specifically to be healthy. I never said specifically to lose or gain weight or bodybuild. Thanks

Yet, those that don't agree with you are less than you. As a matter of fact, they're being ignorant.

Well played.

Haha, yes that is exactly what I said.... I don't think so. You don't have to share my views and if people comment on something they know nothing about.... well that fits into the very definition of ignorance.

Ignorance: lack of knowledge or education, unawareness of something, often of something important

The fact that you feel you have the high moral ground, so much that you felt the need to post about it correcting those of the MFP membership that don't subscribe to your viewpoint, implies very strongly that you feel your viewpoint is actually better than theirs. Thus, their viewpoint is, yes...'less' than yours.

Oddly enough, your definition of ignorance, even your explanation of how it fit your comment, is very telling. Ignorance encompasses the act of commenting on something you know nothing about...yes!

And by your clearly stated opinion, correcting that lack of knowledge is bashing.

Additionally, the majority of bashing I've seen lately, has been in response, not initiation.

Something to think about.

Note: Nowhere in this post have I stated that I disagree with some of the premise of your feelings. People should make an effort to get along, yes. However, even more importantly, people should grow a thicker freaking skin and realize the whole world isn't going to bow down to their beliefs on how people should act.

Trust me, we'd all be happier if this were to happen.

Just like others have said in this topic, if I see for the 100th time someone posting about how "this is my first week of fitness and I have gained and I feel like giving up and oh gosh I just can't seem to eat all 1200 calories I don't know what to do" I'm not going to be very sympathetic because frankly, the statements are ignorant.

I would love to support those who truly use this site as a fitness site and actually post things for A) the good of all, or to share success... and NO I will not support self loathing, or self pity, or anything else that one puts up here for the sheer fact of seeking attention.

But frankly darling, after the 100th thread of "oh gosh why can't we all just get along" my sympathy for even these threads is at it's breaking point.
Carry on... Happy Tuesday

I like you =D.

:flowerforyou:

Athijade

For those of you who actually understood what my whole point was, I thank you and commend you. For those who took it all wrong or out of context, maybe you should read the original post again and try to actually think about it from the perspective it was meant. I am not talking about being rough with telling people when they could use advice on what they are eating or how they are exercising. I am simply talking about the ones that have to belittle others for no reason at all and make them feel as though they are less than a human. Nobody on here is better than anyone else and nobody's opinions are better or worse, We all have our own, which is great. I just don't think there is a need to be ignorant and put people down who are trying to better themselves. As far as me saying that we are all here for the same reason.... well we ARE.... and if you read what I wrote to begin this thread I said specifically to be healthy. I never said specifically to lose or gain weight or bodybuild. Thanks

Yet, those that don't agree with you are less than you. As a matter of fact, they're being ignorant.

Well played.

Haha, yes that is exactly what I said.... I don't think so. You don't have to share my views and if people comment on something they know nothing about.... well that fits into the very definition of ignorance.

Ignorance: lack of knowledge or education, unawareness of something, often of something important

Asks you to be supportive.... the calls people who don't agree with her argument ignorant.

That is where the argument is lost...

sunnyday789

Nobody on here is better than anyone else and nobody's opinions are better or worse, We all have our own, which is great. .

You're right nobody here is better than anyone else, but I have to disagree on the next point. Some people's opinions are better than others. Better opinions tend to be based in science with supportive data.

Although I appreciate that really what you're trying to say is treat people respectfully even though you think that their opinion has little merit.

Sarauk2sf

For those of you who actually understood what my whole point was, I thank you and commend you. For those who took it all wrong or out of context, maybe you should read the original post again and try to actually think about it from the perspective it was meant. I am not talking about being rough with telling people when they could use advice on what they are eating or how they are exercising. I am simply talking about the ones that have to belittle others for no reason at all and make them feel as though they are less than a human. Nobody on here is better than anyone else and nobody's opinions are better or worse, We all have our own, which is great. I just don't think there is a need to be ignorant and put people down who are trying to better themselves. As far as me saying that we are all here for the same reason.... well we ARE.... and if you read what I wrote to begin this thread I said specifically to be healthy. I never said specifically to lose or gain weight or bodybuild. Thanks

Yet, those that don't agree with you are less than you. As a matter of fact, they're being ignorant.

Well played.

Haha, yes that is exactly what I said.... I don't think so. You don't have to share my views and if people comment on something they know nothing about.... well that fits into the very definition of ignorance.

Ignorance: lack of knowledge or education, unawareness of something, often of something important

Actually the word ignorant, in the common language is often used as an insult. You should really be more sensitive about how you word things.

Aineko

RANDOM STORY!

I used to have a running partner. I would get discouraged sometimes and would slow down my pace. Mostly I was discouraged because my stupid body is so weak and stupid... but, anyway...

One day while we were running I had pushed myself too hard and so my ankles were all worn out and... I tripped and banged my leg up pretty bad. While I was on the ground whimpering in pain he started shouting at me: GET UP GET UP THE RUN ISN'T OVER! He pushed and pushed until I got my *kitten* up and finished the run... Finishing the run exacerbated my injury but gosh darn it, I finished that run to shut him the hell up and then I couldn't run again for a couple of months as my injury healed.

Sometimes motivation is good but sometimes the wrong motivation can cause injury. People need to learn the difference between the two...

Just sayin'.

don't take this the bad way, but, based on your random story, I'd say it's way more important that people learn to say 'NO!' . I don't know what did you tell him nor how bad you'r leg felt, but I'm sure he couldn't feel for himself how serious it was - meaning: it was your responsibility to protect your body, no matter how loud he was shouting.

crisanderson27

RANDOM STORY!

I used to have a running partner. I would get discouraged sometimes and would slow down my pace. Mostly I was discouraged because my stupid body is so weak and stupid... but, anyway...

One day while we were running I had pushed myself too hard and so my ankles were all worn out and... I tripped and banged my leg up pretty bad. While I was on the ground whimpering in pain he started shouting at me: GET UP GET UP THE RUN ISN'T OVER! He pushed and pushed until I got my *kitten* up and finished the run... Finishing the run exacerbated my injury but gosh darn it, I finished that run to shut him the hell up and then I couldn't run again for a couple of months as my injury healed.

Sometimes motivation is good but sometimes the wrong motivation can cause injury. People need to learn the difference between the two...

Just sayin'.

don't take this the bad way, but, based on your random story, I'd say it's way more important that people learn to say 'NO!' . I don't know what did you tell him nor how bad you'r leg felt, but I'm sure he couldn't feel for himself how serious it was - meaning: it was your responsibility to protect your body, no matter how loud he was shouting.

But that would be taking personal responsibility.

That's not allowed around here.

gizz1970

It costs nothing to be nice. Some people may be very sensitive when it comes to weight issues. People who judge don't matter and people who matter don't judge!!!!!!

crisanderson27

It costs nothing to be nice. Some people may be very sensitive when it comes to weight issues. People who judge don't matter and people who matter don't judge!!!!!!

Agreed!

The OP, and the majority of her supporters have spent the majority of this thread judging.

I also agree about the sensitivity, but conversely, I've taught my kids that insults are worth no more than the words they're made from.

Even perceived insults that no one actually meant...as is most often the case in these forums.

bunnzye2

I've been on here a good while and that's always been an issue. I even got bashed and made fun of because of the type of physical activities I did. I'm so glad to hear from people who know just why we are here, for support, movitation and to lose weight, maintain weight or gain weight. Thank you.

2012Sonya

I agree! I am happily losing weight but have no desire to live in the gym or body build.

Di3012

What gets me is this is a weight loss site not a bodybuilding site. While I have heard some good information, there is a lot of "broscience" here as well. While weight loss and exercise does go hand in hand I feel there are so many bodybuilding sites, blogs,etc. I think MFP should focus on the weight loss. Of course, I will most likely catch hell for this...so bring on the hate !!! LOL

I was thinking exactly the same thing myself yesterday actually - so no hate on you from me lol.

In fact, some of the stuff cropping up on MFP lately was disturbing me a little and I open two windows, one with MFP on it and the other with a bodybuilding site on it, the messages on the forums were very similar in that, "eat more" "lift weights - really heavy" "cut right down on cardio" etc etc etc.

I am not against weights in any way, but I am against certain agendas being pushed and insinuated that that way is the only way to go.

bunnzye2

As long as there is MFP, repeat posts will continue. Different people are joining this site, and they haven't seen the posts on the same subject, so they post about it. That's also giving the people who didn't get to read about a certain subject, a chance to read and respond. Even if it gets repeated 100's of times, I still enjoy reading them.

mcdonl

I am not against weights in any way, but I am against certain agendas being pushed and insinuated that that way is the only way to go.

I agree with this.

The problem is, if you are a complete novice to fitness, diet and exercise you may be easily misled. And, if you see one of these posers with their cell phone infront of the mirror types flexing their muscles someone who is trying to lose weight, increase cardiovascular health and meet certain dietary goals may go down the wrong road.

Bodybuilding is unique, fitness and weightloss are similar. BB should at least have its own area of MFP....