Harsh words & bashing instead of support & motivation?

GasMasterFlash

Telling someone they are ugly or not attractive is being a bully and these are the kinds of things I have read in some of the forums.

I'm in the forum a lot -- like, way too much most days -- and I rarely see things like that. When you do, report it.

Disagreeing, though, is not insulting or bullying.

mrmanmeat

I recently read several posts where fellow MFPers are saying harsh things to one another or pushing their views on others. Aren't we all here for the same reason? To get healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle for the duration? The last thing I want to see is someone being put down for trying. There is NO excuse for bullies no matter what age, race, weight, etc. Everyone is entitled to their own views, opinions and beliefs and although you do NOT have to agree with them, please keep your negative and self-esteem crunching comments off and just agree to disagree and move on with your own successes. Now, let's get back to helping each other and MOTIVATING and SUPPORTING each other in our journeys! Thanks, and good luck to all!

Please don't misunderstand the truth and something you need to hear vs wanting to hear, with bullying. Don't cry bully just b/c it's not something you don't like or agree with.

Telling someone they are ugly or not attractive is being a bully and these are the kinds of things I have read in some of the forums. This is the type of comments that I am referring to. Not just a difference in opinion about someone's meal plan or workout.

Well, to me, not everyone is attractive. Just like to you, I might not be.

So, the truth. Like I said.

Sarauk2sf

If I may.

First and foremost the internet is just like life. You have tons of new users signing up everyday. Every one of them is not going to be a positive, upbeat, polite, supportive person. It's just a fact. Try to ignore those you don't like. You can even set them to ignore so you don't have to see their posts.

Secondly the threads I see with "bashing" are generally threads promoting bad plans. HGC, steroids, starvation diets, diet pills, etc. Those should not be supported or encouraged. MFP is a healthy and sustainable way to lose weight. Let people think they're free to recommend 17 day cabbage soup diets all over the place and this forum may as well shut itself down.

If you're running into a lot of people saying negative things about your weight loss plan it might not be that they're all rude, awful people. It might in fact be that they have a point.

Support and motivation are meaningless if it's a bad idea they're supporting. It's not helping anyone to tell them they're doing a great job if they're on the wrong track.

^^this

I personally appreciate it when people get called out when they try to advocate some BS theory that, for example, they heard on Dr Oz. As with real life, some people are blunt, some are rude, some are arrogant etc etc - it does not mean that what they have to say is not valid. I actually get more irritated when a person does get called out on their BS, or has a differing opinion, with absolutely nothing to support that theory, and then get defensive and arguementative when called out on it.

That being said, I have seen comments that go way beyond the line - but, if you do not like it either do not read on, or report the poster.

WarriorMom2012

Aren't we all here for the same reason?

No.

I'm here trolling for sexual partners.

SerenityGelsinger

That's the reason why I only use the food and exercise tracker on this site for the most part. There is a lot of negative and hurtful comments that are not needed. Opinions are fine as long as they aren't being stuffed down your throat. Bashing someone because they might not be the best speller is just rude.

UsedToBeHusky

I have Radiohead tickets.:flowerforyou:

:smooched:

I want to hug and squeeze your little giraffe!!

_Timmeh_

If you find some thing offensive, REPORT IT to the moderators.

That said, I agree with you: we should be all be supportive of each other.:flowerforyou:

Reported!

k2quiere

You are absolutely right. I don't understand why some people get off on trying to hurt others. Let's help one another.

I agree with this - I was shocked when I first joined MFP and saw how nasty some people were. It made me think twice about the whole program. We all have the same goal so why wouldn't we be supportive of each other?

I think the miscommunication may be that we do NOT all have the same goals. There are people here to lose weight, people to gain weight, people to build muscles, people to trim down, and people just using the diary to track their macros due to some actual illness that requires dietary control. So, when people come on here and say MY way is the ONLY way, it causes a *kitten* storm.

Yanicka1

What gets me is this is a weight loss site not a bodybuilding site. While I have heard some good information, there is a lot of "broscience" here as well. While weight loss and exercise does go hand in hand I feel there are so many bodybuilding sites, blogs,etc. I think MFP should focus on the weight loss. Of course, I will most likely catch hell for this...so bring on the hate !!! LOL

This site is many things for many people. It is called MyFITNESSpal, not myWEIGHTLOSSpal :flowerforyou:

delilah47

I think some of the people who have been here a long time get impatient with seeing the very same posts day after day. Some of the questions are from newer members who are just learning for the first time about nutrition and exercise. So, some of the questions asked day in and day out start tweaking on people's nerves and they just can't maintain their manners. If a beginner would first do a search for the topic they have questions about, they will probably get a hundred threads with multiple pages of comments on the "beginner questions". Then again, some questions are just... well... (fill in description here). And, some questions are written purposely to bait people into bashing.

Edit: Oh, the one thing that's most likely to get a snarky response from me is; people who think they are experts and suggest some snake oil methods or crazy theories about how to overcome some of the problems people encounter when attempting to lose weight.

onedayillbeamilf

Come on people now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together, try to love one another right now.

LondonEliza

What gets me is this is a weight loss site not a bodybuilding site. While I have heard some good information, there is a lot of "broscience" here as well. While weight loss and exercise does go hand in hand I feel there are so many bodybuilding sites, blogs,etc. I think MFP should focus on the weight loss. Of course, I will most likely catch hell for this...so bring on the hate !!! LOL

I am enraged at this post, I despise this post, I hate everything in the post. 'Why', I hear you ask? Where are your commas man? Use some go*dam commas in your paragraphs!

THERE - you see why people turn into bashers on this site. Grammar murderers like this one.

/going off to lie down in a dark room.

:laugh: :glasses:

yeah and f*cking blind people also !!!

OP - do you see what you have done?! You have started a thread asking for the bashing to stop only for it to start on the actual thread. You are a BASH enabler.

On other parts of the thread there is a bash up going on between the people who haven't got a problem with bashing and those who do. Double BASH enabler.

For shame, woman, for shame. :laugh: :brokenheart:

Babygirl928

The knowledge I have gained in the forums has come as a result of reading differing opinions and then weighing the evidence presented. It's rad.

^^This and I TOTALLY agree with OP. This should be a place of happiness, support and motivation!! Very nicely put OP

Contrarian

I have Radiohead tickets.:flowerforyou:

I've seen this multiple times. You asking for a date or looking to sell? I'm not interested, but I was just wondering if you were just being random.

Just being random. It tickles me. Also, I am really happy about my tickets.

twisted88

You are absolutely right. I don't understand why some people get off on trying to hurt others. Let's help one another.

I agree with this - I was shocked when I first joined MFP and saw how nasty some people were. It made me think twice about the whole program. We all have the same goal so why wouldn't we be supportive of each other?

But not all of us have the same goal. And honestly, I'm not one of those pat you on the head types every time you do something well/make a good decision. Do I give the occasional "way to go" or "congrats" on some of my friends' walls/posts? Sometimes, but not very often, because the ones that "need it", generally have a lot of head patters already and don't need my comment to join the other 50 comments saying "good job".

jplord

I'm here trolling for sexual partners.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

FloraSin

...nerdy trolls are the worst.

I resemble that remark.

I was on Reddit before coming here and defending Robert Jordan before that on GoodReads. We nerds are scary when offered anonymity and an outlet.

yoovie

Not every person is born with a supportive and motivational personality.

Some people coddle.
Some people enourage.
Some people educate.
Some people belittle.
Some people make funny jokes.
Some people make mean jokes.
Some people motivate.
Some people teach you how to motivate yourself.
Some people kick your *kitten* cause they know you are being lazy.
Some people give you a trophy just for showing up.
Some people are kind.
Some people are harsh and blunt.
Some people think everyone else is stupid.
Some people think everyone has the potential for greatness.
Some people will hold your hand.
Some people will hold you down.
Some people will raise you up.

It takes a whole village to raise the bar.

Just like in real life.

You cannot force everyone to be the same kind of person that you happen to prefer. You take your motivation and support from those that work best with your own personality. Leave the rest.

UsedToBeHusky

And remember... for the love of Buddha do not, I repeat DO NOT mention POOPERS!

:laugh: I've missed you. Where you been lately?

Shayztar

You're so sweet. I hope people don't bash on you. But yes, it is agreed. We are here for fitness. Just some people like to say "my bro science is better than your bro science." Also, one particular guy uses roids and LOVES trolling. I enjoy it when he's an OP.

Broscience totally came into play during a discussion my friend IRL posted about cutting out refined sugar and replacing with honey, Brown bread for white, etc. She's psyched to be learning about better food choices and how food can efffect your health. A couple of bros joined a very positive conversation about learning better food choices and bashed on my poor friend about how she's stupid, and a calorie is a calorie, and cutting out all sugars will kill her. Like that's what she said!!! She called me practically in tears, saying she's too sensitive for the forums and shouldn't post anything again. I replied to him telling him to troll other more asinine topics if he wants to be contrary. His reply to me? But there's only 1 tablespoon of sugar in white bread... Get a life buddy!