"You don't need to lose any more weight!"
sarah2954
Posts: 291 Member
Does any one else get this? It's so irritating. I think people are trying to be nice when they say it, but how do you respond? In my profile pic (taken today) I'm 156. I was 110 (5'3") previously, and that's where I want to be. When I tell people that (when they ask) they say "you shouldn't lose that much more" or "you look fine now" or "you'll be too skinny". Do you get this and how do you handle it?
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I do get that, quite often. I tend to smile and then do what I want. But I also occasionally point out that I'm being healthy. I don't always update those people on my goals and accomplishments.0
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I'm in the same boat. I tell them I think I look good with clothes on, I want to look good with my clothes off. They are two different kinds of "looking good". That shuts them right up.0
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I don't always update those people on my goals and accomplishments.
That's probably my first mistake
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I'm in the same boat. I tell them I think I look good with clothes on, I want to look good with my clothes off. They are two different kinds of "looking good". That shuts them right up.
As they blush haha0 -
It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight 0
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thats the exact reason I don`t tell people that I`m trying to lose weight I just say I enjoy working out and since I don`t limit items from my diet I just eat them in moderation that fit my cal goals most people don`t even know that I`m workint to lose more0
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I know, right? I think when some (not all) people say this, women in particular, they are really saying "If you lose anymore weight I am seriously going to consider you a threat".0
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That is total crap. People say that to me at work. You look fine, you are so skinny (I'm a size 9). Except, I'm not skinny at 142 lbs (5'1") and I sure as h*ll don't "look fine". I try to be polite (I am at work) and tell them that every 10 lbs helps with my diabetes, lowers my cholesterol, keeps me off my blood pressure meds, and generally makes me feel better. And not just because I have more energy. I feel better about myself when I am working on helping myself.
Just FYI, 10 lbs for me drops my blood pressure from 160/105ish down to 140/90ish. Big dang difference. And it lowers your risk of getting diabetes up to 50 or 60% (sorry remembering numbers off my head right now) and your risk of heart attack by up to 50%.
So you go girl!! You are doing the right thing. :bigsmile: :bigsmile:0 -
Growing up, I was always thin. I was 95 pounds and 5'6" when I got married. In the six years since then, I put on 60. That put me at 155ish, so I still wasn't particularly heavy, but I was out of shape and really wanted to do something about it. But my whole life I heard things like:
"Go eat a sandwich!"
"You'll blow away in this strong wind!"
"Do you have an eating disorder?"
As I gained weight, I didn't hear those things as often, but once I started dieting and exercising, I got the "you shouldn't lose weight" comments, too. When I explained that I was grossly out of shape, they said, "Yeah, but you're still skinny! So what! You only live once, eat what you want!"
I may only live once (that's up for debate, isn't it?), but if I'm healthy and fit, I'm likely going to live a lot longer and happier than otherwise!
I totally understand where you're coming from. I tend to think a lot of those comments come from people who are insecure about their own weight and see you, who is thinner than them, trying to get healthier, so they feel bad about themselves. If they decide that YOU don't need to lose weight, they can convince themselves they don't have to lose weight themselves.0 -
When I first lost a bunch of weight about seven years ago, I had a lot of really concerned people tell me to stop losing weight. One was even so concerned, she told my mom that she thought I had an eating disorder. She of course laughed that off since she was working out right a long side me and knew what I was eating and not eating.
I'd just laugh it off, or at the very least tell them, "I appreciate your concern, but my doctor and I have agreed I can still lose a few more pounds." Once you throw a doctor in their people seem to get off your back.0 -
mainly because in the US, take a quick look around at a public place. As a society, we are so overweight that fat is the norm. Once you get healthy, people don't know how to react because you are a minority now.
My aunt sat me down a couple of weeks ago and had an intervention-style conversation with me... and I still have about 15-20 lbs to go.0 -
I wish people, especially co-workers, would just mind their own bidness!!!! Keep doing what your doing! Like me for example, I'm short (5'0). I could get under 100 lbs if I wanted to and still be in normal weight range. Sometimes taller women can't comprehend that. They would rather criticize you and try to make you feel bad. I've been having real issues with this topic in my life!!!!0
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I get it a lot from my husband and a few relatives. I just thank them, smile sweetly and say "I'm just eating healthy and exercising regularly, if that means I lose weight then obviously I needed to lose it.".0
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If somebody comments on my choice to have just a soup for lunch when my friends have 3 courses (hello, its lunch, I'll have dinner at dinnertime) then I'll bring up a photo of a fitness model on my phone, point to the muscle tone and tell them that's what I'm going for. Not skinny but fit. Skinny looks good in clothes but fit looks good naked
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I think most of those comments are motivated by jealousy, like others have said, but is it possible, that people are trying to compliment you? I'm not saying it is the right thing for them to say, but maybe some of them at least are just trying to tell you that you look great now. Sometimes those things come out awkward.0
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I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.0
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You look fantastic! And as foe your weightloss...its none of their business. you do what you need to so that you are satisfied with yourswlf. don't let them tear you down...sounds like they need to step on the scales themselves and rethink just how healthy they are!0
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Before I had children I use to be really lean, it was just how I was built. I was extremely fit and people would always comment about me being too skinny. I was 5'5" 125lbs with 12% body fat, thats not skinny that is called being fit. I hated when people offered me food. Well now after kids its a whole different story....0
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I get this all the time and it IS irritating!!!!!0
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Yeh, my husband gets it a lot. And some family like to tease us at parties when we eat before going and opt out of the fast food party platters (Taco Bell - ahhhhhh!). Or they do the whole "Oh, but you're so skinny, you can have ONE."
And you have to explain, the reason I'm "so skinny" (I'm not) is that I DON'T eat that junk. And the only person who has asked me with any concern if I was planning on losing more was my rheumatologist. Her I listened to. That doesn't mean I don't continue to watch my calories and work out and try and tone up (or lower my calories again when I gain a few like recently). Being "skinny" doesn't mean you suddenly don't have to do any of the things you did to get there.
I honestly think sometimes its because if you lose a lot of weight (especially in American and even more especially in certain fatter parts of it) you succeed in making people feel bad that THEY are not losing weight. So surely you must stop. Because then they don't have people around them doing well showing them that its possible.
Don't let it bother you. That's my only advice because you'll never get them to stop.0 -
just say, "well, thanks for the compliment' and end the discussion. They don't need to know anymore. Besides, now that you've gained weight and are losing again, you might get to 130 and look just as amazing as you did at 110, because weight does not come off the same as it goes on. I would just simply say that you haven't quite reached your goal yet, but you will know it when you get there. That is a pretty safe answer and keep in mind that these people are only saying that out of concern. If they aren't saying it for that reason, you should not be having a weight discussion with them in the first place.. Good luck on the rest of your journey and just focus on being the HEALTHIEST you can be. 0
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I just tell people I'm done losing and am working on fitness improvement. Its easier to blow them off that way then to get into a big argument. I suspect most people mean well and are trying to be complimentary when they say it...0
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5'3'' 110 sounds fine to me. Ask your Dr. or look up a chart on line and see what it says. A lot depends on bone structure. I am 5'5 1/2 if I stand up straight 5'6 I stay between 119 and 124 most of the time. My Dr. says that is fine. People get jealous too. So do what makes you fell good. And when they say you look good just say Thank You and do not respond to the other.
Annie0 -
Yes, I do too. I just do not tell people that I want to lose a couple of pounds. But, my DH tells me quite a bit to not get too skinny....he loves my butt and is afraid that I will lose it!!0
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I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.
Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...0 -
I get the same thing also. When my work started the biggest loser challenge, I had comment that I do not need to join. I also have people say that I should not exercise anymore or loose more weight. They say I look good now. Yah with clothes, they hide my flabby, giggleing self. I want to look good without or with little clothes on.0
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It happened to me at christmas dinner - the relative who always felt the need to comment on my having been too large told me that I was starting to look too thin. I was flabbergasted at her nerve. Fortunately another relative stepped in to my rescue and said "she looks fine, leave her alone!".0
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I hear it alot, but this is the smallest I have ever been since I was like 12 yrs old. No one around me is used to me being this small because I was bigger in both high school and college. I have heard more times than I can count that I am "getting to small" or "becoming skin and bone/anorexic". I just simply say that I am comfortable with myself or I am losing until I am. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and that is the most important part. It is difficult when people see a change.0
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It happens to me often, and in honesty it makes me feel kind of good. I do however kindly ignore what they have to say. I know where I want to be, and if I get closer to my goal and decide I am happy then I will stop....and only then. People have an idea of what you should look like, and so do you, as long as you are healthy what they think just doesn't matter 0
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I get this all the time. I just tell them I have AIDS then they leave me alone.0
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