"You don't need to lose any more weight!"

Polly758

It's because people think that slender people are just that way naturally-- that belief excuses them from doing the work to get slender themselves. So when they see someone else doing the work, they get guilty, and then annoyed. Example:

I just had a body fat analysis done at work at the employee benefits fair today, just out of curiosity. So I'm looking at the little form they give me with the ranges for males and females and I was really surprised that males can have such lower percentages! I walk over to a coworker's desk to chat about it and she gets ALL DEFENSIVE. First of all that my body fat is in the healthy range, she got annoyed about that, but I didn't go there to brag, she asked. Second that males have more muscles and they burn more fat and they are just skinny skin bones, and she was severely annoyed about how unfair it all is. I was trying to say that well yeah, I forgot about that, how males have more testosterone so they tend to have more muscles naturally, which changes the percentage of fat, and metabolism is based on a lot of different factors, but she really was not listening. It is just all so unfair to her.

My point is, some people really have talked themselves out of a healthy lifestyle because of things that are supposedly out of their control. My coworker seems to tell herself, "I'm female, I'm 50, it's literally impossible, NOT FAIR, oh well at least everyone else is a little chubby like me." And then someone like me comes along, yeah I'm younger, but I also put effort into my fitness, and her view of reality is challenged! She starts to hear things that sound a lot like "it's your own fault you're fat" and she has to insist that it's all out of her control, it's so easy for everyone else to be slender and healthy but she's special and different and it's not her fault. Then she sees other people putting in the effort that she KNOWS FULL WELL she should, but she has other priorities. And fine, that's her choice, but my efforts are my choices too.

If she really wanted it, she would put in the effort, and then it's only a matter of time. That's why I'm slender and fit, because I put in effort-- as much effort as necessary! And if the amount of work you're willing to do isn't enough to give you the results you want, then either 1. change your efforts or 2. change your goals. Otherwise you'll be stuck in this perpetual cycle of not doing enough work and complaining that it's not working.

I'm not trying to be a blaming blamer of fat people, I am only talking about people who are not trying hard enough because of their own excuses.

enaves1986

I get it all the time, I just ignore it. Most of " You don't need to loose any more weight" comments or you'll be to skinny comes from the guys I play ice hockey with. Just do what feels right for you.

Jeneanhh

I get that a lot. About 3 years ago I went from 210 to 103 then I gain 75 of it back now when I tell people I want to get back down to about 105-110 they say are you sure thats not to skinny, or you look fine now. I think your right when you said they just say that to be nice. I guess i have never had anyone tell me "hay your to fat" but that doesn't make it okay when they are just trying to make me feel better by saying you don't need to loose any weight.

mrsnathanandrew

I'm 5'9 and my goal weight has always been 145. Everytime I tell people that they tell me I'll be way too thin, and look sickly, and that I look fine now. I'm 204 lbs as of this morning, and if they think that looks fine then ick lol. I've learned to just sit back and think to myself, it's not like I want to be 145 skinny fat, I want to be 145 with muscle (dream of mine is to compete in a fitness competition) So when they ask, I just say I'm going until I feel good, which that is true too.

xMonroeMisfit

It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight

I concur.:grumble:

rockette7

I haven't really told anyone what I'm doing, as I'm not looking to lose much weight and I figure they won't really notice. But people often feel the need to comment on my eating habits. If I don't finish a meal my co-workers all leap on it. Our cafe serves up MASSIVE portions, but obviously, leaving a couple of mouthfuls is very strange. I mean, the food is there, why would let a little thing like being full stop me eating it? Very strange.

indiepops

the thing with this is some people are too skinny and its genuine concern, then theres peeps like us who are just on the plump side and what to shift that 10 lbs. people are too polite and think we're looking for compliments when we arent, the problem is when we get down to our goals, they will say the same thing lol x

j77r68

i don't think it's worth a headache for you. i think it's one of those times where you just smile say thank you and move on. other than close friends and fam noone else needs to know or understand your goals . i'm sure they mean well but it's not worth a half hour discussion when they usually can not be swayed to see your point of view.

mbeis

this drives me insane. i could go on forever about this but for the sake of not aggravating myself, i will just say that-- however annoying-- take it as a compliment and move on. my quote for this week in all aspects of my life applies here, too: "i don't get bitter, i just get better"

jessww

all the time. My one friend even told me he was slightly frightened at the fact that i wanted to lose weight. But I think its because he can't handle change well.

But to be honest, I'm not doing it for anyone in particular except for myself. I want to be happy with myself and healthy. I want to live a long and strong life. I'm not trying to look like those models in the magazine at all! haha yes they are gorgeous but its not realistic for me.

pfradd

Everday from my wife, getting to skinny working out to much, ect.I won't stop till I am happy!

KittieLea

So annoying! Has anyone noticed that the people who make these comments are big people?
I think they feel threatened if we become skinnier, prettier, healthier, happier, you name it, so they try to put a stop to it.
If you haven't reached your goal, keep going! As long as you're being healthy about it I see no reason to stop. Drown out the negativity with the positive changes you're making in your life.


"Good things come to those who wait."
EFF that! Good things come to those who work their @$$es off and NEVER give up!

SabrinaJL

Yeah, but I just think they're trying to be complimentary (at 5'6", 172 lbs I obviously still need to lose quite a bit), so I just let it go. The only person it bothers me from is my mom. She genuinely thinks I look good and don't need to lose any more weight. She thinks SHE absolutely needs to lose 10 more lbs, despite the fact that doing so would put her almost into the underweight category and her doctor has told her she does NOT need to lose any more weight. I'm a little concerned about the way she sees herself.

GauchoMark

SabrinaJL - Love the shirt!

jenbusick

I will try that again. I am 5'11 and i was almost 250lbs with a 40 inch waist. I am now just under 200 with a 32 inch waist and i would like to end up somewhere between 180-190 which will still have me above my BMI and i am feeling good now but like it has been said before i don't look fit naked. I have had to buy new clothes although i tried to put it off until i got to my goal weight but a belt can only do so much.

I have heard people say that i don't need to lose anymore, however when i graduated high school 25 years ago i was less than 130 lbs and no one commented about being too thin then. i believe like everyone else has said that everyone has a point that they feel comfortable with their weight and that is where you stop trying to lose but i think you need to keep working on the toning or what is to stop you from going back up.

thats my two cents anyway

I figured you meant you were a serious weightlifter; supposedly they show as "obese" on the charts when in fact they are very fit.

And the high-school skinny of guys whose bones have outgrown all the rest of them... well, frankly, they look better once they fill in a bit. My guy was still high-school growth spurt skinny, six feet and 129 pounds, when we married, but he looks a LOT better at about thirty pounds over that. And in fact he would be underweight at 129, and is on the low end of "normal" at 160.

iwantahealthierme13

I told my aunt I wanted to get down to 130. I am 5'5" and haven't been 130 in my adult life. I am 187 now. She was like... "that's too much! you have a large frame!"

I told her about the wrist measuring trick to find out what build you are and that I'm medium frame but muscular from athletics in my teens.Then she measured her own wrist and that got her to stop because she has a medium frame too but weighs much more than me.

You need something to say back when someone says something.

The people who say something like that are jealous and trying to stop you because they don't think it's possible

xMonroeMisfit

You have to remember also, we are living in a time where there is an OBESITY epidemic.

That meaning, of course we look "fine" or dont need to lose more because look at what we are being compared to? Obese, unfit, unhealthy, dying at young ages, people.

There are now children, sadly, who weigh as much as i do if not more.


Listen to your body, if your body tells you it is unhealthy, if youre tired and aching and sickly its time for a change. ive seen plenty, PLENTY of thin people who are not fit in the least bit and could most definitely never out run me.
I may be heavier but my endurance and strength is blossoming and im becoming lean and fit.

People who make these comments are not always the "fat" ones.
I have had a lot of skinny friends make comments as well. I've always been the "fat friend" what will happen when i can stroll on the beach in my bikini?

Jealousy is running rampid these days.

SabrinaJL

SabrinaJL - Love the shirt!

Thanks. About year ago I saw it and it cracked me up. That biggest size they had was (L) and it didn't fit, but I got it anyway, hoping it would eventually . My husband is not as excited about it finally fitting as I am. lol

ishallnotwant

I'm 5 foot 6 and 160 pounds and I know I need to lose at least another 15 to 20 pounds, and I have had several people tell me i don't need to lose any more and that I look great. While I may look better than I did when I started, I DO still have more to lose. I don't know if they are just trying to be nice or what...

SabrinaJL

ive seen plenty, PLENTY of thin people who are not fit in the least bit and could most definitely never out run me.

That is my 18 year old daughter. She's 5'0", 108 lbs but lives off pop-tarts, ramen, coke and candy. Gets absolutely NO exercise and freely admits I'm way fitter than she is. I asked her, "Aren't you embarrassed that your fat, old mom can outrun you?" She said, "Oh, totally, but not enough to do anything about it." :huh:

limesublime

I get this all the time. I just tell them I have AIDS then they leave me alone.

<snicker> Well done. I can think of all kinds of diagnosis that could shut people up. "I've lost too much weight? Oh yeah, that contagious tapeworm has been really difficult to clear"

Polly758

I get this all the time. I just tell them I have AIDS then they leave me alone.

<snicker> Well done. I can think of all kinds of diagnosis that could shut people up. "I've lost too much weight? Oh yeah, that contagious tapeworm has been really difficult to clear"

"Yeah I guess i shouldn't have gone on that cancer diet"

moejo3

Does any one else get this? It's so irritating. I think people are trying to be nice when they say it, but how do you respond? In my profile pic (taken today) I'm 156. I was 110 (5'3") previously, and that's where I want to be. When I tell people that (when they ask) they say "you shouldn't lose that much more" or "you look fine now" or "you'll be too skinny". Do you get this and how do you handle it?

My 22 year old daughter has recently been losing weight. She is 5'4" and was at around 160 she is now close to 130 and looks fantastic. I know she wants to lose more but, she isn't stressing about it. Anyway we were at a party with family friends so the parents and the kids her age. I commented on how great she looked and a few of the ladies were saying yes she looks like she needs to eat some pizza...REALLY!!! She has worked had to get 30 pounds off the right way healthy eating and portion control. I could not believe it. I think you have to get to a healthy weight where you feel comfortable and let they non supportive people say what they will but, in reality they are envious of your will power

striveforhealthy

I remember on another weight loss forum I'm on...someone said to me... "Your so TINY!! How can you possible lose another 14 pounds....

My aunt also has said something to me about not taking it too far...

I'm a very healthy 129lbs at 5'4" and feel like even when I get to 120lbs I will still have a lot of work in regards to toning up.
I've just started ignoring it all. I don't mind what I see on the outside, but when I see myself nakey there is definite improvements that need to be made mostly due to my significant weight loss.

snailers

I hate it when people are trying to be polite or are trying to fit you into their own conception of what's a healthy look. If you compare America to Asian countries, people have a significant different view on what's considered a "healthy" weight. (Asian BMIs have a lower cutoff point for overweight and obese). You have to put things in perspective. Weight loss does significantly reduce cholesterol, blood pressure, and a whole bunch of healthy benefits. I just smile and say I want to look fit so I work out! And they shut up.

pfradd

Yes again the other day I was getting dressed my wife said you don't need to lose any more weight you *kitten* is starting look saggy
First STOP Looking at my *kitten* and I can crack walnuts between them cheeks. I doing this for me know one else!!!

Jenny111372

I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.

Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...

My husband is 6ft and at a time he was in this range..165-170 and he looked great! That's actually his goal..well, not that he's working on it..lol..but he'd like to be back to 170..he's currently 196 and I think still looks great! Good luck in getting to your goal weight!

Meegz84

Do you looooove the people that so your a fitness/health "freak" ... Copped that as an off hand comment from a fellow worker and I turned around and was like"thanks a lot for that, you really know how to make someone feel great".. Seriously.. Just be a
Cause I give a crap about how I look and pay attention tl what food I eat.. Grrrrr...



It was only months ago that I used to be referred to as a " seagull" as you could guarantee I'd by close on hand if there was cake/savoury treats on offer in the office...

docktorfokse

"You already look fine" is what someone says when they feel threatened by the prospect of someone else's success.

debbie1346

I like to tell them , "if I don't watch my weight, no one else will. Easier to keep up w/ it now." Of course, some will watch my weight and talk about it but they can not do anything about it.