Dating Websites....Your thoughts please.

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  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I met my husband on OKCupid. I also met 3 guys that I dated who are now very good friends on there as well. Sure, there's some nutjobs out there, but if you exercise reasonable caution, it's great. It's like window shopping for men.

    My advice is just to be fun, yourself, and don't bother presenting pics and other things that aren't you. You're there to find someone who will appreciate you for you not someone you pretend to be.
  • aquasw16
    aquasw16 Posts: 342 Member
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    If you arent looking for anything serious go with a free site, like Plenty of Fish
  • gardengals
    gardengals Posts: 46 Member
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    I am a single mom as well......
    I have been in a relationship for 4 years with a man I met through match.com so it worked for me. I also tried POF for found that the guys there were mostly looking to hook up. Whatever site you may go with you need to remember to be SAFE. For instance, I never let anyone pick me up at my house or drop me off....I always met them somewhere. I fiqured that I didn't want them knowing where my kids were until I had gone out with them for awhile. Also, no one was allowed to meet my kids until we were sort of "steady".....I did n't want a parade of guys for my kids to deal with.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    There are good eggs and bad eggs in life, and on dating websites...

    *Have the sites been used to troll for nothing other than a one night stand? Of course.
    *Have people found themselves victims of identity theft, fraud, or worse - physical danger because of someone they met online? Sure have.
    *Have people met their soul mate and fallen in love? Absolutely.
    *Have people made some good friends? Sure, I know I have
    *Do people misrepresent themselves and lie? All the time /shrug happens.

    Be aware, Don't be naive, Be safe, Don't get your expectations up too much before you meet someone in person, blah blah blah.... And go get your groove thang shakin.
  • gardengals
    gardengals Posts: 46 Member
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    LOL....guys do it too though. The balding hair, the beer belly, the haircut and /or facial hair.....I remember this one guy who in all his pics was "normal" clean cut, shaven...a regular guy, right? Then he shows up and it's a cross between mountain man and homeless guy! LOL

    It's all about truth in advertising....for both sexes!
  • kneeki
    kneeki Posts: 347 Member
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    LOL....guys do it too though. The balding hair, the beer belly, the haircut and /or facial hair.....I remember this one guy who in all his pics was "normal" clean cut, shaven...a regular guy, right? Then he shows up and it's a cross between mountain man and homeless guy! LOL

    It's all about truth in advertising....for both sexes!
    Haha! I believe it!
  • fieldsy4life
    fieldsy4life Posts: 155
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    I don't mean to come off shallow or anything of that nature by my "angle" post earlier. But angle pics are essentially using camera angles to get the "perfect" shot, and only using them on your profile. I get that everyone is trying to 'sell themselves' but it's just a shocker when the person you meet is NOT what they have been advertising to you over the last few weeks.

    Right with you brother. I'm not shallow at all, and was 40 pounds heavier when I was online-dating so I had no right to be, but I definitely would show up to a restuaurant or lounge and be like WTF that isn't youuuuu.

    Kneeki's point is that you shouldn't try to bait and switch a guy - post pictures of what you REALLY look like and what you wear normally. Most girls post pictures of themselves in bridesmaid gear - full makeup, up-do, tons of jewelry, fake tan, etc. If you don't dress like that all the time - you're misleading people for the sake of getting free drinks or a meal.

    Sure personality is great, but it's deceiving to mislead people into thinking you look a certain way when you don't.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    I met my husband on a friend/dating site in 2006 and after we got married it disappeared. My friend uses OKCupid but why don't you try match.com or plentyoffish?
  • zooblflot
    zooblflot Posts: 131
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    I met my wife on Lavalife. I hear plenty of fish is pretty good too.
  • DominiqueSmall
    DominiqueSmall Posts: 495 Member
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    I have met some nice guys and I have met some jerks on POF. I am actually currently seeing a guy I met on POF since Jan. So I can say I have had some good luck. I was on match.com - eh wasnt feeling that, and just too broke to pay for eharmony.

    You just have to take the good with the bad. If there are things you are interested in and not just dating, try meetup.com. I have heard some good things about that.

    Good luck to you! :flowerforyou:

    POF was a collosal fail for me. Actually, all dating sites are. I like the one on one IRL much better.
  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    If it's free (like plenty of fish)... well, you get what you pay for, in my experience.

    I have had good luck with Chemistry.com. They do personality matching similar to e-Harmony, but it seems to attract people who are a little less hyper about getting married right away (comparing to some of my friends' experiences).

    I met my boyfriend there, have been dating him for 2+ years, and he's the first person I've ever had a long relationship with that I didn't fight or argue with. So for me, it seems like the personality matching thing worked. Or maybe it was just luck. Whatever.

    Good luck to you!
    Jen
  • ResilientWoman
    ResilientWoman Posts: 440 Member
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    OkCupid, Are you interested? on Facebook. Best of all, figure out what your passions are and go where the men who share them are. Love Smart by Dr. Phil is good in spite of the author.

    As a single mom and a lesbian, I use these sites to keep in practice dating and talking to adults. As a Life Coach, I teach people how to remove obstacles from their success, how to slip into the rhythm of their highest potential. If you message me, I can give you some pointers and share some mistakes I've made from which I am learning. I practice what I preach. LOL
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 615 Member
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    I don't mean to come off shallow or anything of that nature by my "angle" post earlier. But angle pics are essentially using camera angles to get the "perfect" shot, and only using them on your profile. I get that everyone is trying to 'sell themselves' but it's just a shocker when the person you meet is NOT what they have been advertising to you over the last few weeks.

    Right with you brother. I'm not shallow at all, and was 40 pounds heavier when I was online-dating so I had no right to be, but I definitely would show up to a restuaurant or lounge and be like WTF that isn't youuuuu.

    Kneeki's point is that you shouldn't try to bait and switch a guy - post pictures of what you REALLY look like and what you wear normally. Most girls post pictures of themselves in bridesmaid gear - full makeup, up-do, tons of jewelry, fake tan, etc. If you don't dress like that all the time - you're misleading people for the sake of getting free drinks or a meal.

    Sure personality is great, but it's deceiving to mislead people into thinking you look a certain way when you don't.

    This might be some of the best advice I got, so thanks guys. I was prepped for the safety warnings and the fact that I will have to "sort" thru a lot of people, but that's kinda my point. I'm not looking for Mr. Right and Forever however I'm also not looking for a string of one nighters. Just a new way to meet new and interesting people and see where it goes from there. Please no gender bashing, I'm not interested in that. *BTW the guys I quoted...I don't think they were being shallow or bashing anybody, they were just being honest about their experiences.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    When I was a Single Dad I decided to try the online thing.

    I met my wife on "I need a new girlfriend dot com" we've been together over ten years now and I have never been happier in a relationship. I say go for it but be carefull who you meet in real life.

    Gonna second the warning. The only person I knew personally that did dating sites was a family friend. She would meet these men and marry them, moving her and her child to another state, and months later would be back because they got divorced and he took all of her money. Some people are genuine but others are not and even in person it's hard to tell. And when you have a kid you have to be that much more careful who you interact with.
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,081 Member
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    Why use a dating site when MFP has some great talent here-Ty:flowerforyou:
  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    And... is anyone on this thread old enough to remember "Love Connection"?

    I LOVED that show when I was in middle school. I was married when online dating started to become a "norm" but when I got divorced I knew I'd have to try it b/c it seemed like a real life version of the show to me ;-p
  • Lmaass1
    Lmaass1 Posts: 33 Member
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    One of my professors wrote an article about how dating sites rip you off! At first they make you take personality tests or whatever, then they claim they found "a few matches for you" when really there are like 40 people that you could be matched with. Each month they slowly add a few more people to your list. I heard Okcupid is good though, so I would try that!!
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    I met my husband on match.com. Before him, I met another great guy on there that I dated for a while too, but we ended up being too different.

    It is what you make of it - be honest and up front in your profile (with both the text and pictures) and chat for a while before meeting. Always drive your own car to the first few meetings and meet in a public place, and let a friend know that you are going (I also asked a friend to call mid way through the date in case I didn't feel safe or needed to get out). I would also probably follow those same exact rules for some guy I only met briefly in person who then asked for my number.

    I really enjoyed online dating - it was nice because you knew all the people you were talking to (in theory) were single - as opposed to chatting up someone for a while at a bar only to find out they have a gf when you ask for their number. I also think it's a good way to mention that you have kids right up front vs. trying to find a way to work it in.
  • hcoburn37
    hcoburn37 Posts: 442 Member
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    I signed up with match and haven't had any luck yet ... in fact the first guy I gave my number to sent me a picture text of him ... holding himself ..... Time will tell if anything positive comes out of this website.
  • SirBen81
    SirBen81 Posts: 396 Member
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    So I'm a single mom (2 kids) and I think I'm ready to finally hit the dating scene outside my favorite bar :laugh: . Not looking for anything serious at this time but I want to get out and meet new people. Any thoughts and recommendations are appreciated on what websites you've used, heard about, will never use again, etc....


    Thanks :drinker:

    Join some sort of activity group. Volunteer work, sports team, park restoration, book club...whatever perks your interest. You'll meet people there, and you'll already have something in common. With dating sites people can tend to describe themselves based on what they think will attract the most replies.

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