Dating Websites....Your thoughts please.

crisanderson27

/sigh.

That is all.

rnd789

I have to say, and I dated quite a bit. It was a massive ego boost, if I'm honest, and lots of fun.

I agree with this. Especially when the ratio of guys to girls was in my favor. It's nice to get complimented

Ready2Rock206

BTW, not all those online are freaks, and being a booty call can be a blast... for both parties involved!

Okay maybe out of 1,000 guys online 1 is normal but who wants to go through the effort to find him?! Not me. It's just depressing. It could be an age thing. Seems like online dating probably works better for those who are younger, but a single mom pushing 40 who doesn't look like Barbie - not a chance - there is not one man on there who is looking for that - okay maybe that 1 in a 1,000 but it's just such an awful experience in my opinion. Not that off-line dating is any different. I think I'm just too old for dating in general.

babyworms

I met my now husband on a dating site two and a half years ago.

We got married in January I couldn't be happier!

I met him on oasis active, and dated a couple of other people from there before that.

Some were freaks, but some were lovely!

I had the best fun doing it, and recommend it to everyone!

meerkat70

BTW, not all those online are freaks, and being a booty call can be a blast... for both parties involved!

Okay maybe out of 1,000 guys online 1 is normal but who wants to go through the effort to find him?! Not me. It's just depressing. It could be an age thing. Seems like online dating probably works better for those who are younger, but a single mom pushing 40 who doesn't look like Barbie - not a chance - there is not one man on there who is looking for that - okay maybe that 1 in a 1,000 but it's just such an awful experience in my opinion. Not that off-line dating is any different. I think I'm just too old for dating in general.

Is this based on extensive research and personal experience, or are you just talking from prejudice?

I met a lot of nice people. Many are still friends. I'm 41, I used dating sites 4 or 5 years ago. Your view appears to me to be very narrow, and very ill informed.

You do understand that the kind of prejudice you exhibit here might just as easily be turned onto users of MFP, etc? You're rehashing dated stereotypes, without really engaging any critical thought.

As a non-Barbie type, pushing forty, I don't recognise remotely the scenario you've painted.

strongformygirls

I was on Match.com for about 3 months. I dated one creep and one really nice guy who I was not at all attracted to. My friend went on and has been dating a guy she met on there for the past 6 months and they are great together (thus far). I think it's all about how active you are with the site and how up front you are about what you want. If you do go on a site, my advice is to get your money's worth and actually go on a bunch of dates. If nothing else you will get a bunch of free dinners most likely!

volleypc

I don't do the online sites. I think the way to go is try to get involved in clubs or organizations doing things you like to do. If you like to hike join a hiking club. If you like photography join a photography club, etc. Most of the girls I have dated over the years I met playing volleyball. I used to use meetup.com to find outings, etc but where I live now doesn't really have many users on it. Habitat for humanity is another great place to meet people with similiar interest.

VanessaGS

LOL I met my boyfriend through MySpace. We will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary of boyfriend and girlfriend next Month. Hey IT HAPPENS! But yes you have to weed out the bad ones cuz before I met him I dated some douche bags that were looking for all the benefits but always said they weren't ready for a relationship. That's a big NO NO in my book so I kicked them to the curb and met a very respectful marine. Love my man!

jcstanton

I think they are funny and kinda sad. Especially the one that just came out that is exclusively for farmers.

It does sound silly, but if you think about it, there's a couple of good reasons for that. First let me start by saying that I have never been, nor will I ever be, a member of that dating site or any other dating site because I don't believe it to be a reliable way to meet "the one". However, when you think about it, it would be difficult for a young, single farmer to meet someone the traditional way. Most days, he works from the crack of dawn until after the sun goes down and he lives in the middle of nowhere (usually in a smalltown setting, so options there are limited). Also, there are some women (like myself) who prefer the country life, so to create a dating site specifically for people with this lifestyle sort of makes some sense.

mmsilvia

I personally never have tried dating websites so I can't speak from experience but, one of my best friends met her husband of 5 years on eharmoney. And, my cousin met his g/f of about 5yrs on match.com

Finding true love is all about taking risks. I say give it a shot ~ what have you got to lose.

Good luck finding your price

AKosky585

I met my husband on plentyoffish.com...

We have been together for 5 years and today is our 2 year wedding anniversary. I could not ask for anybody who is better for me...

...it just depends on the person though. Trust me...I met my share of jerks on dating websites before meeting my husband.

MissMaryMac33

I've been on match and lavalife in the past 3 weeks and met 5 - FIVE guys all telling me that they're currently working in Nigeria.

Watch out for these... I found the majority of these scammers are on Match.com -- and when you report them, they do nothing about it. There are some very obvious signs you can spot before you even speak to them though...

1. They love to start sentences with the word "am" --- am nice man, am handsome man, am loving my family --- even when "am" makes no sense they use it. Watch for it -- you'll see it

2. They all seem to be from the same suburb near your town -- if you ask them where the city is in relation to downtown or something, they will have no clue --- they just say "am in minnesota" --- but that's because they aren't! They are in some foreign country pretending...

3. They almost ALWAYS want your msn/yahoo whatever chat name to talk there... I used to give them fake ones just to see their address and guess what? The first 3 all had the same last name "murphy" -- guess that is easy for them to spell or something.

4. They almost always have a full body picture, wearing nice clothes, clean cut, good looking -- you can bet its from a magazine

--- that said, I've met some nice guys online, but most of them are just looking for one thing. I'm a pro at spotting the cheating married losers and the f**k buddy hunters now. Oddly, men don't get "nicer" as they age, they are still horny, cheating, lying jerks in their 50's looking for many more notches in their belt...yay!

hcoburn37

I think a lot of us are destined to be single "sigh" :ohwell:

raiderrodney

Been single for the better part of the last five years and haven't had much luck on or offline I've meet a couple of girls off of POF though...one seemed ok, the other...not so much.

Jillian1104

I met my fiance on plentyoffish a few years back. There are definitely some decent guys that are out there on those sites, but there are also some real creeps. I met one guy who threatened to kill me and himself if I didnt go on a real life date with him. Yeah, THAT would get me to go.

Just be careful and cognizant of the fact that you will have to sift through some frogs to meet a decent guy. I'm sure glad I kept plugging away.

Mom2rh

I was just creeping on my STBXs profile on Match. Bwahahaha. Endless mocking potential in there. But decided for sure that online dating is not for me. First of all, he lies about his age. He's 16 years older than me...he says on his profile he's 7 years younger than his age. He is also looking for women younger than me...and he doesn't even go up to his own age (so 23 years younger). ??? Really?

He also says he's a "social drinker" because I assume "mean drunk" was not a choice.

Be careful of liars. That's all.

Roadie2000

I've been very happy with all of them. It's not what site you use, it's who you meet. I've met nothing but good people.

LisaF1163

I met my boyfriend on Match.com, and we'll be celebrating four years together next month. I always tease him by telling him he was the best $80 bucks I ever spent! :laugh:

I was on Match and OK Cupid at the same time - I figured one paid site and one free one were a good way to go by giving me a broader selection of guys without breaking the bank. As for the guys themselves, I talked to some complete *kitten*, and to some very nice guys, same as you would in real life. I wouldn't say online dating is for everyone, but it worked for me because, at the time, I was 44, and most of the guys around me were already married.

Also, the nice thing about a customized profile is that it mainly matches you up with guys who have the specifics you're looking for - not just what they look like physically, but age, region, beliefs, etc. It eliminates a lot of time-wasters and helps you narrow down a selection of guys - THEN you can talk to them or meet them and see if you're compatible enough for it to go further.

crisanderson27

BTW, not all those online are freaks, and being a booty call can be a blast... for both parties involved!

Okay maybe out of 1,000 guys online 1 is normal but who wants to go through the effort to find him?! Not me. It's just depressing. It could be an age thing. Seems like online dating probably works better for those who are younger, but a single mom pushing 40 who doesn't look like Barbie - not a chance - there is not one man on there who is looking for that - okay maybe that 1 in a 1,000 but it's just such an awful experience in my opinion. Not that off-line dating is any different. I think I'm just too old for dating in general.

Is this based on extensive research and personal experience, or are you just talking from prejudice?

I met a lot of nice people. Many are still friends. I'm 41, I used dating sites 4 or 5 years ago. Your view appears to me to be very narrow, and very ill informed.

You do understand that the kind of prejudice you exhibit here might just as easily be turned onto users of MFP, etc? You're rehashing dated stereotypes, without really engaging any critical thought.

As a non-Barbie type, pushing forty, I don't recognise remotely the scenario you've painted.

I think it's a matter of expectations and perception.

Some people go into things with an open mind, no expectations...and thus aren't disappointed when they meet various people of differing backgrounds that may or may not be interested (or worth being interested in), much beyond friendship. They can appreciate the experience for what it is...an experience.

Other people go into it not only fully expecting to find prince charming, but also actively comparing people to that checklist of traits they've got in their head (or on their desk lol) that defines what they're looking for. If the person they meet falls short, it'a a disappointment, and the farther short they fall...the larger the disappointment, and the more horrible the experience.

For myself...I've met some cool people on dating websites. No one I've kept in touch with long term...but cool people nonetheless. I still haven't met, and may never actually meet...a person, or the person that works for me. But that's not the fault of online dating...it's just a part of life.

va_va_voom

So I'm a single mom (2 kids) and I think I'm ready to finally hit the dating scene outside my favorite bar :laugh: . Not looking for anything serious at this time but I want to get out and meet new people. Any thoughts and recommendations are appreciated on what websites you've used, heard about, will never use again, etc....


Thanks :drinker:

Meh. I was a single mom with two young boys for 3 1/2 years before I met my now hubs. I had ZERO luck with dating websites. They were mostly trolled by the same dudes, so no fresh options from site to site and none of the guys I met were worth more than a date or two. I was in my early 30s at the time, so maybe I was just too jaded for the dating scene, but I pretty much just stopped dating all together. I met my husband b/c I wanted to go dancing, so I hit a local martini bar with a girlfriend one night and hubby was persistent about trying to talk to me. He will tell anyone who asks that he had to work to get my attention and my number - but, he says I was worth the effort.

va_va_voom

I was just creeping on my STBXs profile on Match. Bwahahaha. Endless mocking potential in there. But decided for sure that online dating is not for me. First of all, he lies about his age. He's 16 years older than me...he says on his profile he's 7 years younger than his age. He is also looking for women younger than me...and he doesn't even go up to his own age (so 23 years younger). ??? Really?

He also says he's a "social drinker" because I assume "mean drunk" was not a choice.

Be careful of liars. That's all.

QFT about the liars. When my ex and I were separated, a friend alerted me to his dating profile and boy did I have a good laugh over the gems I found there. I'd wish that I had seen it before I married him (so I could have run the other way), but I don't regret my kids.

hcoburn37

I've been very happy with all of them. It's not what site you use, it's who you meet. I've met nothing but good people.

thats great ..... I hope to meet someone nice ... time will tell

Toxictwist

I have been on/off the dating websites for awhile now. I personally would go with a paid website, Only saying that because with you & the other person paying for it, there is a better chance they are looking for something more serious (you hope anyways lol)

LisaF1163

I think it's a matter of expectations and perception.

Some people go into things with an open mind, no expectations...and thus aren't disappointed when they meet various people of differing backgrounds that may or may not be interested (or worth being interested in), much beyond friendship. They can appreciate the experience for what it is...an experience.

Other people go into it not only fully expecting to find prince charming, but also actively comparing people to that checklist of traits they've got in their head (or on their desk lol) that defines what they're looking for. If the person they meet falls short, it'a a disappointment, and the farther short they fall...the larger the disappointment, and the more horrible the experience.

I agree with this for the most part. You have to have an open mind, and the most important thing to realize is that - this is really no different than meeting people in person - you meet nice people, and you meet jerks. As I said in my earlier post, it's a little better because you get a more streamlined selection of people who meet your checklist, but that being said, you still need to have an open mind. You may meet people who misrepresented themselves in their profile. Or even if they didn't, you may meet someone who you just don't click with.

The one thing I like to remind people about is - "this isn't instant" - meaning, you likely won't fall madly in love and be happily ever after with the first person you're in touch with. Even online dating takes time and patience. Do you know why eHarmony and Match advertise that if you don't meet someone special in six months, they'll give you another six months free? Because six months is about the amount of time you have to spend on a site before you possibly meet someone you click with. And really, for friends of mine who've dated online, there's an amount of trepadition (which I felt too when I did it). One of the reasons people complain that online sites "don't work" is because after the first phone conversation or date with someone they didn't click with, they often decide, "This sucks, it's a scam, these sites don't work". When really, if you're just patient, and hang in there, this is a lot easier than being "out there" doing something like the bar scene past a certain age.

Plus, despite what I'm telling you, you can't put complete, unshakeable faith in how things worked out (or didn't work out) for another person. Most sites and dating pros will tell you "give it six months". I met George on Match within two months. So what happened next? I wound up with three or four friends of mine who were angry and pissed off because when THEY tried online dating, they didn't meet a wonderful guy as fast as I did. I'll just be blunt here - George and I are extremely uncommon for how fast we met online. It almost never happens that way, and we were very fortunate that we didn't have to jerk around online for six months or more till we found each other.

All of which is my way of agreeing with the poster I quoted - don't expect it to happen fast. Don't think it won't happen if it doesn't happen right away on your first couple of tries. Don't think it's just a sham. Don't think that being back out there, pounding the pavement to meet single people your age with the same interests and such is going to be somehow easier. But also have an open mind!

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes!

tiffanic83

I keep coming back and reading these postings, its comical. I am still on a dating website even though I have had the worst luck, I guess part of me is keeping hope. But just to give ya'll an example. I got a message 2 days ago and decided to just talk to this guy to give him a chance. Mind you my profile is very clear that I am not looking for hookups, etc so don't waste my time. Within 24 hrs hes saying he wants to kiss me and asking if I like to cuddle. A*hole alert!!! So even if you're honest about who you are and what you're looking for, it doesn't weed out the losers. My advice, go out and meet someone in a social setting, join groups, volunteer, etc. Am I jaded? Probably. But I have learned lol. What the one girl said about the same guys trolling all the sites, and the other dude about sheep's clothing, could not be more correct! Sure every once and awhile it works for someone. I have a friend who met someone a few months ago and its working great and I am thrilled for her. But 95% of the time its awful.

crisanderson27

I keep coming back and reading these postings, its comical. I am still on a dating website even though I have had the worst luck, I guess part of me is keeping hope. But just to give ya'll an example. I got a message 2 days ago and decided to just talk to this guy to give him a chance. Mind you my profile is very clear that I am not looking for hookups, etc so don't waste my time. Within 24 hrs hes saying he wants to kiss me and asking if I like to cuddle. A*hole alert!!! So even if you're honest about who you are and what you're looking for, it doesn't weed out the losers. My advice, go out and meet someone in a social setting, join groups, volunteer, etc. Am I jaded? Probably. But I have learned lol. What the one girl said about the same guys trolling all the sites, and the other dude about sheep's clothing, could not be more correct! Sure every once and awhile it works for someone. I have a friend who met someone a few months ago and its working great and I am thrilled for her. But 95% of the time its awful.

Nope, you're not judgemental at all lol!

95% of the time? Really?? That's actually somewhat comical as you put it.

Case in point. You don't know me...you know nothing about me. The majority of the people I know appreciate my humor, kindness, and helpfulness, yes...and even my sarcasm. I try to go out of my way on a regular basis, just to help people who've asked. Whether it be to make them smile, help them forget a bad day, something with their life, job, or fitness program...whatever.

Yet...I posted ONE picture that you didn't like...and you immediately made a judgement on my ENTIRE dating history lol. And you wonder why your experiences are 'awful'?

And for the record, my experiences on dating sites haven't been '95% awful'...as you've said. I'm looking for something very particular...and it's not something that's very common in todays society. I've met some real idiots in that search, but I've met some pretty incredible people too.

tiffanic83

My last post had nothing to do with you so its funny that you just made it about you LOL

SexyFatMomma

I havent tried any dating sites per say, but I am very active on many social sites, which have lead to potentials.

LisaF1163

I keep coming back and reading these postings, its comical. I am still on a dating website even though I have had the worst luck, I guess part of me is keeping hope. But just to give ya'll an example. I got a message 2 days ago and decided to just talk to this guy to give him a chance. Mind you my profile is very clear that I am not looking for hookups, etc so don't waste my time. Within 24 hrs hes saying he wants to kiss me and asking if I like to cuddle. A*hole alert!!! So even if you're honest about who you are and what you're looking for, it doesn't weed out the losers. My advice, go out and meet someone in a social setting, join groups, volunteer, etc. Am I jaded? Probably. But I have learned lol. What the one girl said about the same guys trolling all the sites, and the other dude about sheep's clothing, could not be more correct! Sure every once and awhile it works for someone. I have a friend who met someone a few months ago and its working great and I am thrilled for her. But 95% of the time its awful.

I know, I know, it's tough, I do understand that. I wouldn't think that 95% of the time it doesn't work - think it may be more evenly split than that. Maybe not dead on 50/50, but I don' think the odds are as bad. I know maybe you think it's easy for your friend and people like me to say "Hang in there", but it is true. Now, that's not to say don't go out to try and meet people - of course, do that too! But also, keep trying here, because I really do know a lot of couples who are happy and long-term who have met online.

As for the guy who was clearly interested in a hookup, delete his *kitten* and move on! The night before George emailed me? I had a phone conversation with a *kitten* who was so awful, it shouldn't have surpised me that at age 52, he was still single. Just as an example - he started asking me my dress size, and when I told him, he replied that I was too fat to date! So yeah, you meet *kitten*, but.... I'm just saying, I had to deal with that jerk the night before I was emailed by the guy who changed my life for the better. Just don't let a couple of boorish jackholes chase you off of something that could work in time.

tiffanic83

Thanks for the encouragement Lisa! I know it can happen, and I know 95% may not be for all people, just its been mine. I think like in regular dating, if your overweight it makes it harder. Which I am sure contributed to my unhappy experiences even though I am very upfront and honest about being a chunky monkey! And yes, I don't plan on talking to the guy who wants to jump into bed right away lol.