Does this constitute cheating to you?

quirkytizzy

Yes.

And this is coming from someone who gives her dude to view all the porn he wants and idly flirt with random women. Flirting is one thing. Watching live sex acts is another.

anifani4

I haven't got angry at him at all, I just feel really weary and disappointed. It probably doesn't help that I didn't sleep at all last night really.
He is giving himself a hard time, but so he should. I've said we will talk about it after work.

I am just gutted because we have been planning our wedding and he has been at least as excited as I have, which hasn't been the case with some of my friends when they have been planning a wedding. Now whatever happens, the sheen has been taken off it for me.

I'm with some of the others who say porn is one thing, but actively interacting with a real life person, basically only seperated by a computer screen, is a lot worse than just watching porn on TV.

It just makes me really sad.

IMO You're already grieving. to me this says your relationship is over. You can try talking about what's going on and how you feel but the fact remains that he prefers a video gal to you, live and in person, when it comes to sex. You can choose to live with that, because it likely won't change, or you can cut your losses now. I'm very sorry.

Sharkington

I wouldn't consider that cheating, but I would be bothered by my fiance paying money into those sites. The fact that he doesn't want to have much sex with you, combined with his searching for local women in the area is a major red flag, in my opinion. If it was just porn, fine - no big deal, but I would not want to deal with most of the things you listed - and I probably wouldn't even bother with trying to work things out after discovering that. Then again, I have never been engaged, so I can understand why it would be more complicated than just "breaking it off" as I am sure you really love him, yes? I guess you just have to ask yourself if you can get past this and if you will be able to feel trust and satisfaction (not only emotionally, but also sexually) in the long run. If you still want to work on things, you need to let him know of your boundaries in the relationship - form there, it's up to him as to whether he agrees with those boundaries and is willing to respect them.

Subowski

Isn't this thread over 6 months old?

33Freya

Ohhh figure this out before you marry him. How much is it costing? Is he addicted? Is he feeling guilty? Get counseling and work through this now before you seal the deal with him. Good luck!!!

julie781

Isn't this thread over 6 months old?

lmfao! Yes