Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

questhaven

I did and his response was;

'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

I love your husband for saying this! That is the best answer ever!

Donnacoach

I couldn't even imagine if my husband loved me more then he already does. Which is a GREAT thing, but not getting the compliments about my weight loss does bother me when I don't get it from him, but do from lots of other people. When I have questioned him about it his response is, "It doesn't matter what you look like, it's what's inside that I fell in love with." So from 155lbs to 320lbs to 220lbs and now at 268lbs he just wants me to be happy with me, because he is totally happy with me.

auroranflash

SOMEBODY SHOOT THE FLARE GUN!

A lot of men are going to be confronted with a very uncomfortable question tonight!

RED ALERT RED ALERT

:laugh:

but seriously

:indifferent:

You might want to go out with the boys until she forgets to ask you.

dolldreams

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

I don't know about this. I didn't get fat because I don't respect or love my husband enough.

God forbid something happen that you have little control over to damage you physically. What are you going to do then?

chapparra27

I did and his response was;

'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

What a great and very wise answer!

chelchelt

I have asked my hubby this and he told me "I love you no matter what size you are. I know the weight you have gained is because you gave me our beautiful kids, and I love you all the more because of that."

nicholettebell

Oh the stories I could tell... My fiance and I split up a month ago and it was absolutely for the best. For the last few years I had been trying SO HARD to feel good about myself, when he clearly didn't want me. The irony in this is that he prefers bigger girls (his new OMG I LOVE YOU FOREVER is definitely bigger than I am!). A big part of why we split (aside from his pathological cheating) was that he was completely unsupportive of my desire to get healthy.

The girls he preys on are all overweight and depressed and just looking for attention. It's really sad, and I'm horrified that I was ever a part of that, that I ever allowed him to make me feel unloveable, that I went to the lengths I went to to SEEM like I felt good about myself.

Long story short, go home and kiss your hubbies, because a man who can love you from the inside out as opposed to the outside in is worth whatever his weight is in gold.

I had a very similar story. Way to go in getting out of that relationship.

beyourown

I did and his response was;

'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

Thats is the absolute sweetest thing

EpiGaiaRepens

my sweetie hit on me at my highest weight.... and since then I've lost 50 lbs. No need to ask. The dude loves who I am, not my size.

andreacord

Ex's answer : I've always been attracted to you, but you're looking great now that you're losing weight and your confidence is going up which is sexy

Male best friend's answer : You've always been pretty and the thing that makes me happiest is that you're doing this for your health but you're looking good too, girls who work out are sexy

SuperAmie

Mine was honest too.. which I was mad at him for a good week for.. then I said you know what... I asked... He said he still loved me just the same... when we started dating I was a twig then I grew a little bigger and bigger (I hid it well) but theres no hiding when it comes to bed time.. you know? I asked and he answered.. he told me he noticed I was bigger.. that killed me. But as Im loosing the weight he also cant get his hands off me...
He tells me its because he can see Im happier with myself.. I think its both...

annameier8706

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

I don't know about this. I didn't get fat because I don't respect or love my husband enough.

God forbid something happen that you have little control over to damage you physically. What are you going to do then?

That's part of the understanding. Pregnancy (which won't be happening cuz we're done with kids) or a medical condition are extenuating circumstances and at that point a discussion would occur.

Kari089

we have definitely had that conversation and I was a little shocked at first to hear him say he prefers me slimmer (when we met I was a size 18) until he said the reason was because I seem happier and more optimistic. My attitude definitely has changed for the better and our relationship has benefited from that as well.
He has also lost a few pounds because we are eating healthy meals at home and he enjoys that very much. We are making plans to do a lot of outdoor activities together (already started some) so it has definitely made a positive impact in our relationship.

HeatherNoyes

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

I don't know about this. I didn't get fat because I don't respect or love my husband enough.

God forbid something happen that you have little control over to damage you physically. What are you going to do then?

Yikes, no offense but to me marriage is a lifetime commitment not something you give up on because of getting "fat"....Glad my honey loves me for me and not my body.

amymt10

I have never asked that question to my hubby but I dont have to his actions say it all. He has never been able to keep his hands off me!!! Even when I was 9mos preggo and weighed almost what he did, his hands were all over and he has always told me I am beautiful.

LilRedRooster

Well, I wouldn't be attracted to him if he got too overweight, and not because I loved him less, but because in order for him to get that way, he would have to have a total lifestyle change for the worse. THAT would not be attractive, because he would not be taking care of himself that way, and I know he would feel the same way about me.

So we don't have to ask that question, because we both have very specific lifestyle goals that keep us the way we are, and changing those goals would be the big issue, not the resulting body changes.

DaBossLady24

Just asked and got this answer:

"baby, i've always found you to be the sexiest person that i've ever seen. i feel like your confidence has gone up though, and that's f***ing sexy in itself. just know that no matter how much you lose or gain, i'm going to love every inch of you."

I know, I'm pretty damn lucky. :bigsmile: :blushing:

laurelderry

Mine has never treated me any differently, with the exception of telling me daily how proud he is of me: for the dedication to nutrition, weight loss, school, work, and our son. I showed him a picture from March of last year when I was 30 lbs heavier and he couldn't believe I looked like that. Which says to me- love truly is blind. He has gained some weight recently- and I am still just as attracted to him- what I find unattractive is his willingness to talk about how he needs to lose weight- but his lack of motivation. That's why daily I try to motivate him to go to the gym with me and to make healthier choices.

MsMargie1116

I did and his response was;

'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

^^^^Love this answer!!!! :happy:

annameier8706

Well, I wouldn't be attracted to him if he got too overweight, and not because I loved him less, but because in order for him to get that way, he would have to have a total lifestyle change for the worse. THAT would not be attractive, because he would not be taking care of himself that way, and I know he would feel the same way about me.

So we don't have to ask that question, because we both have very specific lifestyle goals that keep us the way we are, and changing those goals would be the big issue, not the resulting body changes.

^^^This!! the basis of the understanding we have

SexyCook

I asked my SO....what do he think...he likes me better smaller now then thick and solid is what he calls it..... Also he would like for my arms to be back defined like they were over 7yrs ago when I knew nothing about the eating just killed protein shakes...lol... Of course he loves the New Booty he calls it...and all of a sudden he claim he been a booty man instead of a Tits guy...UHH HUH...

Presently he just like it all....

TinaLTaylor79

I did not have to ask...actions show! But, it was not all his fault. WHen i was at my biggest 215lbs...my husband showed very little interest in me when it came to the bedroom...but, i also did not make it easy. I was very depressed and angry and not a very fun person to be around...When we were together it was me always saying..oh dont touch me there, or dont look there, or the room needed to be dark! I was so embarrassed about my body.
I have lost over 80lbs...Im back to what i was when i first met my husband, even better shape now...and i have self confidence, i feel proud of myself...im not afraid to show my husband my body and it has brought us closer together.

LuckyAng

I've never had to wonder. At my smallest (120) and my heaviest (209), he has never been able to keep his hands off of me. I do know he does look forward to the day when I feel confident again though. It's hard for him to see me so bummed out every time I have to get dressed. He's amazing, and I am very lucky to have him

PlunderBunneh

He has always been very hands on, from when we met (I was 200) to after kids (260) to now (180). We have a more sexually active life now, but that's because of me. I've got the confidence, and actually feel worthy of the lusty glances and the bum pinches. And he loves that I am more comfortable wearing less clothing, although he has mentioned many times that he would have loved it at any size, he just likes me showing some skin.
He likes that I'm more active, but mostly just because now I enjoy playing Dance Dance Revolution with him.

gudiiya

Super like this one!

dolldreams

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

I don't know about this. I didn't get fat because I don't respect or love my husband enough.

God forbid something happen that you have little control over to damage you physically. What are you going to do then?

Yikes, no offense but to me marriage is a lifetime commitment not something you give up on because of getting "fat"....Glad my honey loves me for me and not my body.

I'm totally with you. For better or worse seems like a lost art.

Rosa1213

My boyfriend always makes it known how attracted he is to me, even though not too long ago I was as heavy as 192 lbs.
He said to me on the phone the other day: "if you're happy, then I'm happy". He's the sweetest

m60kaf

I did and his response was;

'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

I absolutely identify with this as well. Confidence is sexy no matter what your size.

This is very true - It's easy to say its frivolous to be so concerned by weight/looks, but, there is also the attitude differences.

I wouldn't want to be with someone fat, but, this is just as much an inability for me to relate anymore to the attitude that got them that way.

People say to me how 'amazing' it is I have kept it off. I just think the attitude I have now it would be impossible for me to put on 150lb.... 15 would have me stressing out

Laurieann137

I believe actions speak louder than words. My husband can say he loves me but he didn't desire me for many years! When we met I was a size 3 and he couldn't keep his hands off of me! Then I went all the way up to a 16 after our third child. Now I'm down to a size 10 but still have a ways to go. He actually thought he had an erectile disfunction when in reality it was me being over weight (which he admitted later)! He actually said once that if I lost weight AND cleaned the house more he would find me more attractive!! Yes he is still alive and yes we are still married but he almost didn't make it through that one! As i have lost weight he has been more attracted to me and wants to be intimate more. He says that doesn't have anything to do with my weight! Whatever!! He wouldn't touch me for a LONG time and was ALWAYS tired!! I like that he wants to be more touchy and intimate now, but it's also insulting because i feel like he didn't love me when I was heavier. It was more like we were roommates than husband and wife. I'm glad things are better for us, but it still hurt. For him his ACTIONS spoke (still speak) a lot louder than his words!!. I'm jealous of those of you who have great men that love you no matter what your size! Be grateful!!

AlyiEli2017

I have asked my ex boyfriends about my weight and they would be honest and tell me. They would never encourage me to lose or encourage me to push myself to get fit. They would however make sly *kitten* comments that would get them the EXIT! That is why dismissing them wasnt hard either.:laugh: My boyfriend NOW has always extended support and encouragement to me when I needed it the most. I am not a small girl, not by a long shot but I also BEFORE lack the confidence that I need to push myself to lose the unwanted pouds. I started MFP about a few weeks ago and my boyfriend has been soooooo supportive . He always ask; what did you eat, did you work out? He reminds me dont eat this, and dont eat that, even when we go out to eat he tries to pick places that we can have veggies and something semi healthy. I never had this kind of relationship and to me its the best kind. he supports me ALOT. On this journey I have lost a few pounds and I asked him at the start what did you think of me? He said he dont care if I was Bigger or Smaller he loves me and what ever my goal is he will help me reach it. Do I believe he is telling the truth? Yes, he never gave me reason to think other wise. I am happy an proud to have him because with him I am gaining the confidence needed to lose the weight and feel good about myself. No matter if I lose 1lbs a week or 4lbs a week he is still my Biggest fan and my coach.