ignorance about obesity on MFP

ComicBookGeekGirl

Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!

Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all

You are my hero!:flowerforyou: I have been considering leaving MFP, because it seems to be a place of judgement rather than support or encouragment. All these fat bashing posts piss me off! These people posting them are the kinds of people who would look at someone like me in disgust while I am working out and wonder why I am not trying to do something about my weight.

It just gets annoying and discouraging to try and make a positive change and sit and read posts passing judgement on fat people. :sad:

mamamc03

mods delete nasty posts, as they should...links cannot be obtained. She's not lying. These types of posts are normally not intended to go that direction, but get there quickly. They get nasty, get reported and get locked or deleted....like many other topics. Let's just all share a prozac and chill.

BeeElMarvin

This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.

The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."

They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.

Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.

Thanks Brett!

TheFitHooker

I agree! My obesity started out as depression, that's how it started, food was my comfort. I'm sure that not having friends and not having an out had a lot to do with it, but it made me lazy, and after it all I did become lazy, tired, and felt less then human. I was obese once, and I think a lot of people who use to be there forget how hard it was. I haven't forgotten, it feels like I was just there. A saying that keeps me going every day is "It's hard being over weight, and it's hard being healthy, chose your hard"... I do have a family member who is morbidly obese and who has made it very clear she's jealous of my weight loss success and I've tried to be her support but I ended up having to cut her off completely because she was trying to bring me down. She flat out told me she likes being a bigger girl, but yet she was bringing me down and always cutting me down. I refuse to let anyone bring back to that point and I have the power to control what I do and let be done to me, so I cut her off. I still love her but I don't have to associate with her. I'm a blunt person so if I have said it on here or anywhere else about someone, the person already knows how I feel cus I already said it to them. I have no filter, and if I think a certain way I say it out loud while my mind is processing it. I try to think before I say things but usually I don't.

Though I have never degraded her for being over weight, I have tried to just be there for her when she was down, she degraded me a few times, so that's why I cut her out.

Babygirl928

mods delete nasty posts, as they should...links cannot be obtained. She's not lying. These types of posts are normally not intended to go that direction, but get there quickly. They get nasty, get reported and get locked or deleted....like many other topics. Let's just all share a prozac and chill.

:drinker: :drinker:

hadesflame

Ignorance?

People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.

Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.

barbaradilisio

The internet can bring out the worst in people. You can post nasty comments and say rude things towards people when your behind a silly username and avatar. It makes me sick reading some of the things people say, not just here but everywhere.

I haven't really gone on the MFP community much, so I haven't seen a lot of negativity, but I think it's really sad. We should be encouraging others, not insulting them!

Donnacoach

AMEN!!! People can be very hurtful. That's not why we are here.

hdroddy

I have a slightly different view: This is the internet. It is open to the masses and within the masses there are a few winners and a whole lot of losers. You cannot take offence at anything stated by strangers in an anonymous forum. If they are fat bashing, they may actually just be stirring the pot and not really have an issue with fatties. Or, maybe they are a fit musclehead who really is an arrogant jerk. You don't know, and shouldn't care. If you're looking for kindness and support, then just read the threads that offer it and ignore the rest. My old man used to have a saying "Nix Illigitimus Carborundum" he told me it was latin for "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down!". Sage advice indeed.

That is good advice, but it doesn't change the fact that there's a whole lot of nastiness and judgment and ugliness out there that is wholly unnecessary. Have we as a society degraded so badly that we must insult or poke fun at others to amuse ourselves or make ourselves feel better about our own lot in life? How pitiful is that? The internet has become ugly by the choice of those that use it, not because it is inherent. It does not have to be, and should not be. It is true that the opinion of strangers should not bother you; it is also true that there is absolutely no reason to be rude or nasty or judgmental to a stranger. More good advice: treat others as you would like to be treated. I can guarantee you that those making the rude statements would not like to be treated in kind.

rockinsue285

Some people are just MEAN! Plain and simple. It's a form of bullying. They lack so much self esteem that they strike out and easy victims....they are nothing but "Internet Thugs!"

totally agree, I dared ask once a genuine question at the time and being new , why eat back exxercise cals?

I got abuse from loads calling me fat, lazy , coach potato, even told to exercise more to play with my grand kids, cartoons of stick men banging head against wall etc etc. If these peeps had bothered to read I had lost weight, 18mth ago was only nine stone but ballooned with meds, which is why I joined mfp, but I line dance twice a week and every day do toning and aerobics (apart from weekends lol) and always play with my grand kids.

To be honest was so upset by the bullying I almost gave mfp up but then I thought stuff im doing this for me not them .

Babygirl928

This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.

The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."

They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.

Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.

Its not rude at all...and i know the facts on the net and I know its not gonna vanish but I also dont feel a need to act like it doesnt exist. I have an awesome group of friends on here, one of which was extremely hurt by one of these posts, and I just think I should be able to call them out on it and maybe make ONE person change just a little. If not, i tried. I dont take them personally becasue its not personal but it doesnt change the fact that its just plain old fashioned MEAN

A_New_Horizon

Preach it, sista....I have been in your shoes, and it took a long time for me to get to where I am. You will too!! Just stay determined and dedicated. People can be ignorant sometimes...self-esteem has alot to do with weight (I know this personally). Just know that I am here for you

runfatmanrun

Watch how this goes: For all people who disagreed with my previous post Thank You. That means that people are entitled to agree or disagree with me and that, like those who bash on fat or skinny people, it would be rude of me to say that you are wrong to disagree with what I have to say.

See how that works. If you can't handle people disagreeing with what you have to say then don't respond or post.

Trail_Addict

Honestly, this made me laugh. I have yet to see ANY posts bashing any fat people, and I'm on here at least 8 hours a day.

Same here. I patrol these forums chronically, and don't see anything remotely close to what the OP is talking about.

BeeElMarvin

Ignorance about obesity?
Let's have a roll call.
How many of you "Skinny", "Fit" people on MFP are formerly obese?

Raises hand... :drinker:

Kenzietea2

I have witnessed more support and encouragement towards obese people on here than I have the opposite. I also have noticed that people have attacked THIN women (men too, but more women) far more than I have seen an obese woman get attacked on here. There will always be those people. You can either choose to have a backbone and ignore them, or you can choose to let the minority's words bother you. If it bothers you that much, don't go on the forums. Not everyone is going to be nice or say exactly what you want to hear.

hollyberry2012

Some things to remember:

Your personal friend group is your own choice. These forums are open to all.

Every minute spent reading posts of any kind is a minute not exercising, unfortunately, because I love chatting with my buddies!

Satan worms his way into every positive loving thing in the world. The good that is done on MFP is no different from the rest of the world to him.

God loves the bashers, mashers, and bullies and sees right into their hearts and knows exactly why they act / talk the way they do.

IF you can show mercy, do so, that would be the best. If not, stay out of the forums. There's no reason to stress yourself out over anything on the internet or in real life for that matter. Just be around what you personally know you can handle. There's more to learning how to eat, exercise in life..there's learning how to live too...and sometimes a person was working on that harder than the physical and turned out to be a pretty great person with a tummy on him/her.

May we all have the success we've always dreamed of, prayed for, tried again and again to achieve and loved others along the way in spite of our personal pain and misery.

Someone wonderful once said, My Strength Is Perfected In Weakness. To His Glory!

EmCarroll1990

I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.

I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.

Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.

MelanieHodgkiss1962

HEAR HEAR!!

The person who posted that should take a long hard look at themselves and their own failings!

Schraudt814

This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.

The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."

They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.

Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.

I have to agree with this. It stinks that this is an issue...but fact of the matter is it is. For whatever reason there are people who just enjoy the drama, or who have staunch opinions and get nasty when they are challeneged or threatened, or take super offense because they twist words to be offensive. It happens with any thread that is of one opinion on a tense matter. The OP has every right to post this, but those who disagree have every right to respond. Best just to move on with your journey and know you're doing something for YOU.