"Old Fashioned" or "Traditional" gender roles
Replies
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I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA
I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But a love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing
It's not that he's treating you like you *can't* speak for yourself it's more...I don't know how to explain it, actually. I just know that I love it. :laugh: There's nothing disrespectful about it, to me.0 -
OLD Fashioned..a woman listens to the man...
Traditional woman doesnt give a crap what the man says and lives by her own rules..womans the boss
yeahhh i will take that Traditional role0 -
I would like to reference the song "Silence on the Line" by Chris Ledoux, specifically the lyric
"Babe I only need a man for the things a man is good for".
In the song I have no pity for the cowboy, because he put himself and his wants first. I love that my husband puts me first, in every thing and always. He does do man stuff, and I do woman stuff. Sometimes, my woman stuff is to swoon over the raw physical strength he has that I don't, or the emotional strength not to cry when things are bad because I need that stoicism.
I can mow the lawn. What I like better is to let him mow the lawn and shower him with affection and love for a job well done. He makes me happy because I am required to be happy for him to be happy, and he makes me need him to be happy. I only need a man for the things a man is good for, and my hubby is really good for a lot of things (also, giggity!).0 -
I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA
I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But a love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing
It's not that he's treating you like you *can't* speak for yourself it's more...I don't know how to explain it, actually. I just know that I love it. :laugh: There's nothing disrespectful about it, to me.
I totally and completely respect your opinion. I just can't wrap my head around it. I can't see how it can perceived as anything BUT him treating you (you in the generalized, plural sense) like a child with no power or voice. Again, I respect your opinion. I just can't see the appeal. Maybe one day it will happen and I'll get it like lightbulb going off. Haha0 -
Your partner should be your best friend and you both should try your best to accommodate the other.0
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Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.
This is dead on.
Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.
My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times
I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".0 -
I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA
I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But a love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing
It's not that he's treating you like you *can't* speak for yourself it's more...I don't know how to explain it, actually. I just know that I love it. :laugh: There's nothing disrespectful about it, to me.
I totally and completely respect your opinion. I just can't wrap my head around it. I can't see how it can perceived as anything BUT him treating you (you in the generalized, plural sense) like a child with no power or voice. Again, I respect your opinion. I just can't see the appeal. Maybe one day it will happen and I'll get it likes lightbulb going off. Haha
Yup, to each their own. Other than a short stint in high school, I've never been anything close to a feminist. I enjoy being the more submissive partner (take that how you will lol :blushing: ) so I love a man who knows how to take charge. If someone had told me I'd like it, I'd have been like "Dafuq??" but the first time it happened it was weird....but sweet and romantic, too.0 -
I would like to reference the song "Silence on the Line" by Chris Ledoux, specifically the lyric
"Babe I only need a man for the things a man is good for".
In the song I have no pity for the cowboy, because he put himself and his wants first. I love that my husband puts me first, in every thing and always. He does do man stuff, and I do woman stuff. Sometimes, my woman stuff is to swoon over the raw physical strength he has that I don't, or the emotional strength not to cry when things are bad because I need that stoicism.
I can mow the lawn. What I like better is to let him mow the lawn and shower him with affection and love for a job well done. He makes me happy because I am required to be happy for him to be happy, and he makes me need him to be happy. I only need a man for the things a man is good for, and my hubby is really good for a lot of things (also, giggity!).
Mm. That actually sounds pretty good!0 -
Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.
This is dead on.
Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.
My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times
I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".0 -
Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.
This is dead on.
Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.
My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times
I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".
I feel exactly the same way.
My husband does a few of the more traditionally "man" things like keep all the computers running and all our tech working. He also is the breadwinner (until I finish my degree), and he manages most of our investments and retirement funds. I do all the cooking and cleaning. On the flip side, I am much better at home-repair than he is and can handle myself better around power tools
I also think it's important to retain some independence. You shouldn't dissolve into a relationship where you no longer think for yourself or have things you enjoy doing on your own with your friends. It was critical that I retain my hobbies independent of my husband when we got married. I'm way too independent to do otherwise. He has his hobbies too. It's great.0 -
Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.
This is dead on.
Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.
My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times
I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".0 -
Yup, to each their own. Other than a short stint in high school, I've never been anything close to a feminist. I enjoy being the more submissive partner (take that how you will lol :blushing: ) so I love a man who knows how to take charge. If someone had told me I'd like it, I'd have been like "Dafuq??" but the first time it happened it was weird....but sweet and romantic, too.
Sounds like the saucy 'romance' novels I download free for my kindle. I can dig it!0 -
I feel exactly the same way.
My husband does a few of the more traditionally "man" things like keep all the computers running and all our tech working. He also is the breadwinner (until I finish my degree), and he manages most of our investments and retirement funds. I do all the cooking and cleaning. On the flip side, I am much better at home-repair than he is and can handle myself better around power tools
I also think it's important to retain some independence. You shouldn't dissolve into a relationship where you no longer think for yourself or have things you enjoy doing on your own with your friends. It was critical that I retain my hobbies independent of my husband when we got married. I'm way too independent to do otherwise. He has his hobbies too. It's great.
I'm totally on board with the having separate hobbies and friendships!0 -
Yup, to each their own. Other than a short stint in high school, I've never been anything close to a feminist. I enjoy being the more submissive partner (take that how you will lol :blushing: ) so I love a man who knows how to take charge. If someone had told me I'd like it, I'd have been like "Dafuq??" but the first time it happened it was weird....but sweet and romantic, too.
Sounds like the saucy 'romance' novels I download free for my kindle. I can dig it!
Oh yes...I'm a sucker for those :laugh:0 -
I feel exactly the same way.
My husband does a few of the more traditionally "man" things like keep all the computers running and all our tech working. He also is the breadwinner (until I finish my degree), and he manages most of our investments and retirement funds. I do all the cooking and cleaning. On the flip side, I am much better at home-repair than he is and can handle myself better around power tools
I also think it's important to retain some independence. You shouldn't dissolve into a relationship where you no longer think for yourself or have things you enjoy doing on your own with your friends. It was critical that I retain my hobbies independent of my husband when we got married. I'm way too independent to do otherwise. He has his hobbies too. It's great.
I'm totally on board with the having separate hobbies and friendships!
Yup. Tuesday is my husband's "man" day where he has all his buddies over to hangout at the house, and I go into my office and chill out. Sometimes I make them all pizza or cupcakes, but generally, I leave them alone. I usually go out with my girlfriends on the weekends, and my husband doesn't call and harass me either. I love him for it.
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I feel exactly the same way.
My husband does a few of the more traditionally "man" things like keep all the computers running and all our tech working. He also is the breadwinner (until I finish my degree), and he manages most of our investments and retirement funds. I do all the cooking and cleaning. On the flip side, I am much better at home-repair than he is and can handle myself better around power tools
I also think it's important to retain some independence. You shouldn't dissolve into a relationship where you no longer think for yourself or have things you enjoy doing on your own with your friends. It was critical that I retain my hobbies independent of my husband when we got married. I'm way too independent to do otherwise. He has his hobbies too. It's great.
I'm totally on board with the having separate hobbies and friendships!
Yup. Tuesday is my husband's "man" day where he has all his buddies over to hangout at the house, and I go into my office and chill out. Sometimes I make them all pizza or cupcakes, but generally, I leave them alone. I usually go out with my girlfriends on the weekends, and my husband doesn't call and harass me either. I love him for it.
I've never understood people who get all bent out of shape when their SO wants to do something, alone, with their friends.0 -
Doesn't this mean I please you sexually and then make you a sammich and bring you a beer?
That's exactly what it means. Women should know their place.0 -
Doesn't this mean I please you sexually and then make you a sammich and bring you a beer?
That's exactly what it means. Women should know their place.
I'm glad I know you well enough to know when you're joking around :laugh:0 -
I've never understood people who get all bent out of shape when their SO wants to do something, alone, with their friends.
Me neither. Sadly, I've seen it happen with a lot of my women friends with their possessive or jealous boyfriends/husbands etc. I've seen it with men too with women who harass them all the time. That was a dealbreaker for me. I can't deal with that level of drama.0 -
So I typed out a long explanation...but I don't feel like fighting with people so I'm going to hop on the "I please you sexually and then bring you beers and sammiches" explanation :laugh: (Which I actually have no problem doing)
I knew I liked you.0 -
I've never understood people who get all bent out of shape when their SO wants to do something, alone, with their friends.
Me neither. Sadly, I've seen it happen with a lot of my women friends with their possessive or jealous boyfriends/husbands etc. I've seen it with men too with women who harass them all the time. That was a dealbreaker for me. I can't deal with that level of drama.
Yup, same here :laugh:0 -
The man has to kill the bugs...
I'm good with that as long as the woman handles the mice.0 -
agree with this. some men are naturally suited to things just like some women are naturally suited to other things.Feminism took a wrong turn when women tried to be the SAME as men. Equal doesn't mean identical. Women and men have naturally different roles obviously, and while there are some exceptions, men like women who are feminine and women like men who are manly. How they define those characteristics differs, but there are some constants. I don't know many women who like a guy that cries every time he sees a baby. And I don't know many men who like women that have farting contests.
in general i think roles in relationships need to be based on mutual respect of what each person brings to the relationship. if that means people will fall into traditional gender roles then sobeit.
i've always found modern feminism interesting because these are things that are naturally built into the culture i was raised in. there's an understanding that both partners are necessary to the health and well being of the relationship, home and the family and it's never broken off into what's more or less important.0 -
Long reply...Feminism took a wrong turn when women tried to be the SAME as men. Equal doesn't mean identical. Women and men have naturally different roles obviously, and while there are some exceptions, men like women who are feminine and women like men who are manly. How they define those characteristics differs, but there are some constants. I don't know many women who like a guy that cries every time he sees a baby. And I don't know many men who like women that have farting contests.
I think I love you...seriously. I'm all for feminism, and I'm completely against women who want to be men.Well I class myself as old fashioned and for my marriage it means that Im a stay at home mum and I cook all the meals, clean the house, I get up to make my hubbies breakfast and lunch for work....Even on the days he has to get up at 4 am and I always make an effort to look good everyday and we have sex all the time.....like at least once a day. But I also do things that dont conform to the 'old fashioned' veiw like I love to play footy and I do most of the mechanical work cause I loooove cars.
So - perhaps if you get tired of this one... you can marry me? I would LOVE someone to do all that for me - wow.
Umm...I'm first in that line...thanks! You'd better not forget it either lol.I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA
I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But a love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing
It's not that he's treating you like you *can't* speak for yourself it's more...I don't know how to explain it, actually. I just know that I love it. :laugh: There's nothing disrespectful about it, to me.
I totally and completely respect your opinion. I just can't wrap my head around it. I can't see how it can perceived as anything BUT him treating you (you in the generalized, plural sense) like a child with no power or voice. Again, I respect your opinion. I just can't see the appeal. Maybe one day it will happen and I'll get it like lightbulb going off. Haha
And this is why gentlemen in general are disappearing. If I order for you (and I usually will), it's not because I think you're a moron or incapable (if you were either, we wouldn't be together regardless). It's out of caring, respect, and my need to show that to you. If you can't comprehend why a man would do that...and how it doesn't make you less of a woman...then perhaps you should realize that chances are you'll be dating the typical kind of man all women ***** about constantly. Think about that, and maybe you might try to realize that just because someone does something for you...it doesn't mean he thinks you're incapable or stupid. As a matter of fact...it might be 100% the opposite.My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times
I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".
You and I are way too much alike man. Seriously.I would like to reference the song "Silence on the Line" by Chris Ledoux, specifically the lyric
"Babe I only need a man for the things a man is good for".
In the song I have no pity for the cowboy, because he put himself and his wants first. I love that my husband puts me first, in every thing and always. He does do man stuff, and I do woman stuff. Sometimes, my woman stuff is to swoon over the raw physical strength he has that I don't, or the emotional strength not to cry when things are bad because I need that stoicism.
I can mow the lawn. What I like better is to let him mow the lawn and shower him with affection and love for a job well done. He makes me happy because I am required to be happy for him to be happy, and he makes me need him to be happy. I only need a man for the things a man is good for, and my hubby is really good for a lot of things (also, giggity!).
Mm. That actually sounds pretty good!
That...is what being a man is all about...right there. You and your husband are both very lucky...you to have him, and him to have you, someone who understands what he is, and cherishes him for it.0 -
Cris gets it :flowerforyou:0
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Cris gets it :flowerforyou:
If I do...it's all because I had a great role model for a Father, who taught me that to love a woman is to make her understand, in every way possible, that she's THE single most important thing in your life (excepting your children of course...they get a whole separate category above and beyond humanity). If she can't appreciate that...and the things I do for her to show her that...then she needs to be with someone else.
Which is probably why I'm still single. Women alllll say they want that...but in the end, they really kind of...well...
Don't.0 -
I'm definitely not traditional...
I manage all the finances
Am more excited about making money, career, and traveling then having a kid
Usually make most of the decisions regarding what we plan on doing
I do some chores... mostly laundry because my husband would forget otherwise I assign some for him to do which he is happy to do
Husband is just freakishly laid back ...
He cooks dinner because our schedules make it that way
He's a better host then me... I'm not good with party planning
He does not watch sports!
Otherwise we fit gender roles pretty well. I LOVE shopping.... he LOVES games and guns. I'm more on top of cleaning. He does car stuff. I love dressing up and he doesn't really care as long as it is simple. He does a typical male job of IT support and also is the breadwinner for now. I'm in a typical female job of doing bookkeeping junk but am also working on a degree.
Guess it really matters that you make a good team more then anything. IF that's the case then everything else will work out.0 -
Old fashioned gender roles, to me, means the man is the main bread winner and the woman primarily takes care of the home and children.
Nothing wrong with that, of course, but some men want to be stay at home dads, while some women aspire to be CEOs. No shame in following whatever path you feel led to, traditional or not.0 -
Cris gets it :flowerforyou:
If I do...it's all because I had a great role model for a Father, who taught me that to love a woman is to make her understand, in every way possible, that she's THE single most important thing in your life (excepting your children of course...they get a whole separate category above and beyond humanity). If she can't appreciate that...and the things I do for her to show her that...then she needs to be with someone else.
Which is probably why I'm still single. Women alllll say they want that...but in the end, they really kind of...well...
Don't.
I think the problem is so many want it on their terms, and as we've seen here, certain gestures can be horribly misinterpreted. I think your idea of how a man should treat a woman is lovely and any woman will be lucky to have such a devoted partner. Hopefully you'll find someone soon who appreciates how you go about showing her how special she is 0 -
The man has to kill the bugs...
HAHAHA this because I freakingly hate flying bugsand mow the lawn.
YEAH and also do the laundry, ironing & cooking :laugh:
All while he wears no shirt and is conveniently glistening with just the right amount of manly perspiration.
When I think traditional, I imagine a lot of the aforementioned things, but my relationship reflects that in a lot of ways but not because it 'should'. Instead, he makes more money because he's not still in school and as a result, he usually pays because he likes to and has the means to do so.
I'm pretty spoiled though. I get massages and support in everything I do.0
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